Start Monday Right With Morning Coffee

By Alice O'Connor on April 28th, 2014 at 11:00 am.

Must be Monday morning

What’s up gamers! It’s your girl Alice at Game, Gamer, Gamegun coming at you with the hottest new games and game news for gamers pumping straight into your brain like a mad doctor making a Frankenstein yowwww it’s electrifying! Hey, it’s a new week so we’ve got to get this going the right way: with a good kick of caffeine bzaaaap! But hold up! (OBJECTION!) Before you chug that Dew, let me tell you Morning Coffee is where we’re getting our caffix today.

Like a good cup of the magic brown, the hot new walking simulator will slam through your system in only a few minutes then kapow! we’re ready for the day. And hey, we gamers have better things to do than wait around to install anything, so let’s cheer our gamer cry of “Vid vid vidyay!” because we can even play in a browser to jam the gaming goodness straight into our brainslots.

Ah hello again, RPS readers. I’ve now cleared that jazz out my head with my own morning routine of running five miles chased by youths with switches of bramble. Morning Coffee, then, is a short, sweet, and quiet little walk ‘em up by Charles Elwonger and Jocelyn Reyes.

Starting focused on the coffee cup before us, we slowly awaken to become interested in the life we’ve built for ourselves and our place in the world. Then, ready or not, we’re out to face what lies beyond our door. It’s a pleasant little contemplative experience that may refresh you this grey Monday morning.

And if none of that interests you, it is very pretty to look at.

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34 Comments »

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  1. Premium User Badge

    Tom De Roeck says:

    Alice, can I once again say, from the bottom of my heart and probably the hearts of many RPS readers and forumgoers: dear lord its good to have you here. I like your writing, a lot.

    That is all.

    *tips hat

    • Cis Scum says:

      Jesus Christ.

      • Premium User Badge

        JamesTheNumberless says:

        Oh shit, where? I was really hoping all that second coming stuff was just a myth. I wonder if there’s still time to run home and delete all my porn.

    • Terragot says:

      *Tips fedora.

    • Premium User Badge

      Sinomatic says:

      I wholeheartedly agree.

      I actually enjoyed this article more than I enjoyed the game, it has to be said, but I think perhaps I was too close to ‘hot cups of tea and bedtime’ to be able to appreciate something that evokes the caffeinated morning ritual.

  2. Premium User Badge

    RedViv says:

    Does Game, Gamer, Gamegun also have The Gaaaammmmeee Shooooowww comedy broadcast?

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    Lexx87 says:

    Christ reading that was like being slapped in the face while on a roller-coaster.

    Well done!.

  4. rhubarb says:

    I would like if I could finish the coffee.

  5. Spacewalk says:

    It may be about coffee but it reads like you’re on amphetamines.

    • DanMan says:

      Yeah. I thought she’d explode any second in that 1st paragraph.

    • Nenjin says:

      Yeah, if my coworkers approached me like that in the morning I’d probably tell them to go home and detox.

      Personally, I can’t stand nonsense in the nut graph. It’s the fastest way to get me to not read an RPS article.

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    Harlander says:

    You shouldn’t be scared of youths trying to help you pick the right variety of brambles. Correct cultivar selection is essential to a healthy hedge!

  7. Caiman says:

    Good to see RPS joining the jock bandwagon of calling any game that doesn’t involve shooting people in the face a “walking simulator”. Right on chaps and chapettes, down with that non-violent arty nonsense!

    • Premium User Badge

      Harlander says:

      ArmA 3 includes shooting people in the face, but I still call it a walking simulator.

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      JamesTheNumberless says:

      When you get right down to it, Counterstrike is mostly a walking simulator, 90% of the time you’re walking around, 10% of the time you’re being shot in the face.

    • Alice O'Connor says:

      What an unusual conclusion to draw from this post.

    • GunnerMcCaffrey says:

      I’ve been under the impression that term originated here, and that it’s poking more fun at the need to genre-fy games than the games themselves.

    • The Random One says:

      *Meanwhile, in 19th century France…*

      M. Caiman: Zut-alors! Sacré-bleu! M. Monet, M. Manet, I thought you had pride in your work! Yet you yourselves refer to your paintings as “impressionist” – the disparaging word used by your critics! Future generations will laugh at you! Laugh, I say!

      • CookPassBabtridge says:

        I love impressionists. Monet did a smashing Ronnie Corbett.

        His Michael Caine, not so much.

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    JamesTheNumberless says:

    vidyay… Isn’t he a golfer?

  9. Tom Walker says:

    sshhh. My head.

  10. Premium User Badge

    AngelTear says:

    I usually love Walking Simulators, but this felt a bit pointless, maybe more so because I don’t have this morning coffee ritual without which I can’t function. But still.

    (Spoilers, I guess?)
    I mean, you drink coffee, the world comes into focus, you take your smartphone and your car keys, and you go out, and suddenly SPAAAAAAAAAACE.

    And?
    Why exactly did I play this?

    • Smion says:

      Shouldn’t the question rather be why should you have played this? I assume you actually played it because you thought it sounded interesting from what the article had to say about it.

  11. Chillz says:

    Pretty things, I like pretty things. Cheers Alice, good to have you at RPS :)

  12. Premium User Badge

    JamesTheNumberless says:

    About to have my third cup of coffee since this was posted.

  13. Premium User Badge

    Lord Custard Smingleigh says:

    Hah! The joke’s on you! I’ve given up caffeine!

    Kill me.

    • GunnerMcCaffrey says:

      Right then.

      *Reaches for crowssbow*

      *Grabs glue gun instead*

      *Glues cat to feet somehow*

      God I need a coffee

  14. dskzero says:

    Well this was pointless and the article doesn’t really helps me understand why should I care.

  15. The Random One says:

    My God. I thought Alice was trapped in the nineties. I was already assembling an elite team of awful white rappers to rescue her.

  16. Zarathruster says:

    I enjoyed this and I… don’t really know why. Seeing the laptop plugged in at the end of the couch, the electric kettle, the little half-full bottle of hand soap, all of it was familiar but refreshing for some reason, like someone could actually be living there and I find this somehow surprising. Hm.

    • Canadave says:

      I know how you feel. For me, there was something oddly evocative about the kitchen counter, with the kettle, coffee pot, and cutting board strewn about. Suffice to say, this is an odd thing to find evocative.

  17. El_Emmental says:

    I wonder if there’s an equivalent somewhere about all the pills (ritalin and the likes) that a significant part of the population end up gulping down on a daily basis (more often than not due to misdiagnosis, sadly). I thought about this since coffee is just a liquid form of a psychoactive drug (imo), with probably less long-term effect on psychology than most pills, but still used as a mental crutch by millions of people.