“The Case Is Individually Wrapped In Faux Reptile Skin”

By Alec Meer on May 14th, 2014 at 11:00 am.

You probably should have called it Faux Dragon Skin, Bioware special edition packaging designers. If you’re going to use it a fake reptile to decorate the supermegaultrodeluxe version of Dragon Age: Inquisition’s box, you might as well go for the ultimate fake reptile.

Other than this misstep, EA/Bioware are going all out with the clumsily yet wonderfully-named Dragon Age: Inquisition Inquisitor’s Edition. A lockpick set! A tarot deck! A quill and inkpot! Pretend money! A bloody enormous cloth map!

We don’t generally post about this sort of thing, but the excess on show in this $170 box is impressive – either they’re working very hard to convince us that Dragon Age is the real RPG deal after the divisive II, or they’re blithely unaware that people aren’t sure what to expect from Inquisition.

Here’s the complete contents:

  • Highly detailed exclusive Inquisitor Collector’s Edition case produced by TriForce measures approximately 8.5″ x 13.5″ x 14.5″
  • The case is individually wrapped in faux reptile skin, has the mark of the Inquisitor stamped on top in gold foil, with an interior fitted with imprinted red silk.
  • Cloth map of Thedas drawn to scale measuring approximately 22″ x 32″
  • 72 card Major and Minor Arcana tarot card deck with custom artwork depicting mythology from Dragon Age lore.
  • Inquisitor full scale, six piece, lock tool set
  • One set of four full scale map markers each approximately measuring 3.5″ x 3.5″ x 4″
  • Inquisitor’s Badge
  • Quill and Inkpot
  • 40-page Inquisitor’s Journal
  • Orlesian Coins
  • Limited edition SteelBook case to house your copy of the game
  • Copy of Dragon Age Inquisition Deluxe Edition

I love the way the inclusion of the game itself almost reads like an afterthought. “All these toys and oh yeah, a game too.”

I… kind of want it. Mostly for the quill and inkpot. Maybe I should just buy a quill and inkpot? The lockpicks, by the way, are apparently intended to open a hidden compartment in the not-reptile box – remains to be seen whether more nefarious activities will be possible too.

 

The aforementioned Deluxe Edition of the game, incidentally, also sells as standalone and/or download for $70, and includes a shedload of bonus items which will amost inevitably be made available as DLC to owners of the $10 cheaper standard version of the game. It’s the sort of thing which is vaguely troubling to read, in a “well that sure sounds like it totally imbalances the game” sort of way. Who doesn’t want a Bog Unicorn, though?

 

Here’s the list:

 

  • Skyhold Throne – Every ruler should sit in a place of high honor, but as the Inquisitor you will have the greatest of all, fashioned from an ancient dragon skull.
  • Red Hart Halla – Traverse the perilous, living world atop this great-horned beast.
  • Bog Unicorn – Once belonging to an evil marauder, this unique mount has returned to inspire fear into those who would oppose you.
  • Bring the world of Thedas wherever you go with the digital soundtrack
  • Bonus digital content – to be announced!
  • Also receive the mighty Flames of the Inquisition Gear:
  • Multi-class Weapons: Smite your enemies with the Flames of the Inquisition weapons arsenal. Whether staff or daggers, greatsword or war hammer, these weapons will make short work of your foes.
  • Inquisitor Armor: Protect yourself against the onslaught of enemy attacks by suiting up in the Flames of the Inquisition Armor.
  • Armored Mount: Flames of the Inquisition gear also includes a valiant steed, complete with its own set of Inquisition Armor forged from the flames of battle.

Buying videogames in the second decade of the 21st Century sure is a confusing business.

All of this becomes bewildering reality in the second week of October.

, , .

81 Comments »

  1. El Spidro says:

    Fingers crossed for the omsi 3 ultra collector’s edition that comes with a double decker bus.

    • Pockets says:

      Collectors editions aren’t allowed to be practical!
      It’ll have to be one of those rides for toddlers for toddlers that you see at shopping centres.

    • RedViv says:

      In faux-dragon skin.

      • DarkFenix says:

        I’d accept nothing short of real dragon skin to be honest.

        • Gap Gen says:

          The game is fed to a real dragon, and you must defeat it and retrieve the game from its guts before you can begin to play.

      • Cardinal says:

        and individually no less! paradox averted

  2. Anthile says:

    Ah, purchaseable regret. Has buying one of these ultra mega super special editions ever worked out for anyone?

    • BobbyDylan says:

      I’ve never regretted buying the Fallout 3 one or the Starcarft 2 WOL one. However, I may as well not have, as they both just sit in my desk drawer now.

      • Fenix says:

        The only collector edition of anything I’ve bought is SC2 WoL, and I don’t regret it (even though I had to pay about 3 times for it and went through weird loops to get my hands on one).

    • secuda says:

      Well i bought SC2 and D3 SE for D3 was it because of the soulstone with D2+expansion and SC2 i got a suprice with a figurine wich is kinda nifty to have on my desk.

    • TacticalNuclearPenguin says:

      Not there, because the only good preorder thing comes with the digital version aswell.

      BOG UNICORN!

    • Bluerps says:

      I have a few modestly sized “Collector’s Editions” (or whatever they are called for the game in question), which only added a couple of ingame items, and maybe a soundtrack CD and/or an artbook. I don’t regret buying these, because their prices were not much higher than just the game, and I like the additional stuff.

      I also have a small number of more expensive editions (though nothing as crazy as this – nothing that cost a three-digit amount of dollars), all of which I bought years ago, and which I now feel slightly embarrassed about. In the end all the additional crap (toys, unusual USB sticks, cards with artwork, etc.) just went back into the box, after I looked at it once, and it is still there today.

    • Maxheadroom says:

      The bamboo chess set that came with Shogun Total War still has a glass shelf all to it’s self in my living room, and the safety deposit box and duffel bag that came with GTA4 both get regular practical use.

      ashamed to say im a little bit tempted by this, but will wait for the reviews before considering it seriously

    • Hypocee says:

      Love my Spore CE. Neat making of DVD, and the case is a cool little piece of design.

      Oh, and my foam Darwinians. The big Darwinia case is pretty, but mine got seriously dented on the way across the Atlantic.

    • JohnnyPanzer says:

      I’m not sure how they could NOT work out for anyone. It’s basically the only sort of pre-order where you can be absolutely sure of what you’ll get. I’m very happy with my Warhammer Online, SWtOR and Rome II collector editions and they are all on prominent display in my nerd-cave. Stuff like this and items from WWII are the only sort of decorations I’m interested in.

      But again, I’m at a total loss as to how one would go about in order to regret a collectors edition purchase of any sort. Buying it without looking at a single picture of description of the items included?

      • reggiep says:

        Never heard of “buyer’s remorse”? Someone might think they want all of the things in a collector’s edition, but when they just sit in a box taking up room in your house, it’s easy to regret that frivolous purchase.

    • Tayh says:

      I got the Collector’s Edition for Age of Conan.
      Was pretty cool. Got an artbook, soundtrack cd, a cloth map, behind-the-scenes dvd, some posters and some ingame items.

    • Oozo says:

      To this day, I sometimes think about ordering the special edition of Ni no kuni. I would very much like to have a physical copy of the Wizard’s Companion, and once I will have children, I can pretend that it’s, in fact, a guide on how to be a wizard, and a swell person in general.
      I think there are ways of educating children based on worse books than that one.

    • fish99 says:

      To me collectors editions are just some cheap molded tat to make your game cost more and take up extra storage space. Not a single thing there is worth owning.

    • ansionnach says:

      Whatever about the space all the tat takes up, it’s definitely galling to spend the money on some “ultimate” edition and then see extra material released that you’ve got to pay more for. It happens. Might as well wait a few years until all the hoo-hah has died down and then get your ultimate version. If you’re lucky maybe it was all hype and you won’t be bothered with the game at all!

      Other than retrospective collections that do contain all content (which I’m quite happy with), I’ve picked up a couple of Guild Wars collector’s editions and the limited edition silver GameCube with The Wind Waker. Shouldn’t have bothered with the GW stuff, the Cube was a good buy as it doesn’t take up extra space and didn’t cost any extra. Some old games that included free novels like Shadow Sorcerer and Discworld were worth it. At least it was possible to finish the Discworld novels…

      EDIT: Also have the Ultima IX collector’s edition. The crap in the box was probably better than the game!

  3. Drake Sigar says:

    In my day they would hunt an actual dragon and wrap the case in genuine dragon skin. Sure the developers lost half their team in the ensuing battle with said dragon, including much beloved Kenny the coffee boy, but it was gratifying to know they’d go the extra mile to provide a quality product.

  4. Gothnak says:

    God forbid you’d actually want a challenging game… Why do people even want extra bits and bobs in a linear single player game? Having the challenge of rubbish equipment and facing dangerous enemies is the whole fun of it.

    I’d rather have alternative choice of characters or extra quests.

    • BooleanBob says:

      The collectible DLC ultro-items somewhat degraded my enjoyment of the original Mass Effect.

      … not as much as the game itself did though. Heyo!

    • TacticalNuclearPenguin says:

      DS2 did it right, the preorder items not only look terrible, but they’re possibly the biggest pile of garbage gear you can find.

      Though i wonder why they included them in the first place.

    • TimorousBeastie says:

      The best one was Metro Last Light, where the special edition paradoxically unlocked both a ‘more difficult’ version of the game, and then gave you powerful weapons and special ammo straight from the start.

    • reggiep says:

      Not only that, but often the bonus items are given early on and trump everything you find in the game — ruining that whole element of new equipment and new looks.

    • Wulfram says:

      I’d rather they put the extra quests and characters in the actual game, rather than holding them back for promotional sillyness.

      The DLC items in DA2 weren’t really overpowered. At least not the pre-order bonus stuff. Gave you a boost for the first act, then were kind of mediocre.

    • welverin says:

      “God forbid you’d actually want a challenging game… Why do people even want extra bits and bobs in a linear single player game? Having the challenge of rubbish equipment and facing dangerous enemies is the whole fun of it.”

      No it isn’t.

  5. BobbyDylan says:

    Yeah….. after DA2, I’m gonna wait and see on this. I’ve got to the point where EA’s excessive marketing makes me even more suspicious of the final game.

    Besides, the Witcher 3 is coming (in winter).

    • TacticalNuclearPenguin says:

      Q1 2015, and that’s IF we’re lucky.

      I fully endorse their “when it’s done” attutide, but it sure is a pain to wait.

    • DarkFenix says:

      Frankly after DA2 they’d have to pay me to take this game.

  6. Goodtwist says:

    This is all digital, aight?

    • Jerodar says:

      Judging from the “photo” of all the goodies I’d almost think so :P

    • fish99 says:

      Yes you don’t get any of those things, just a digital picture of them. The one above in fact.

  7. BooleanBob says:

    Nothing says ‘unfathomable occult mysteries of the tarot’ like promotional branding

  8. Horg says:

    ”Armored Mount: Flames of the Inquisition gear also includes a valiant steed, complete with its own set of Inquisition Armor forged from the flames of battle.”

    Horse Armour?! 2006 called, they want their DLC back.

    • TacticalNuclearPenguin says:

      I think that one is simply badly worded though.

      • BrightBlueInk says:

        Nope, they’ve released a picture of it. It’s literally a horse in armor. FLAMING armor.

        I’m actually sort of in love with the audacity of it.

  9. JamesTheNumberless says:

    I guess if they said something was fake dragon, people might take that to mean they glued wings onto a newt and then skinned it.

  10. jnfbatista says:

    I was kind of hoping for a dragon figurine… Might have to wait for Dragon Age: Dragons. Still, I might buy it for the physical objects, they look really nice.

  11. defunct says:

    The ‘unicorn’ looks like a horse with a sword through its snout! Ouch!

    Oh, and I won’t be getting this for sure, after having tried 2. Nevermind that it’s an EA game. Oh, wait. I guess that’s why 2 was so bad. Bioware: ‘Oh, just because they own us, doesn’t mean they have ANY influence on DA2 at all!’ Me: So you just made a bad game because you became idiots? (to self: actually that does explain why they decided being bought by EA was a good move…)

    • Gap Gen says:

      Bog Unicorn is an insult I will begin using from now on. David Cameron is such a bog unicorn, etc, etc.

    • Turkey says:

      Yup. Let’s change the franchise to be console-first even though that defeats the entire purpose of the project. Also DA:Origins is doing really well on the PC, but screw that, let’s go after the Mass Effect audience anyway.

  12. SkittleDiddler says:

    Is that a horse with a sword shoved through its skull? I suppose I should be encouraged by that, it’s something slightly original and doesn’t fit BioWare’s normal generic fantasy creative process.

  13. Biaxident says:

    Unless I’m missing something that unicorn looks ridiculous, like someone has just pasted a picture of a sword on top of a horse’s head.

    And there’s no chance I’ll be buying this, or any other, Bioware game. Could forgive Dragon Age 2 but DA2, ME3 and SWTOR? Thrice bitten…

  14. LTK says:

    I almost went mad trying to figure out which digital deluxe version of Dragon Age: Origins to buy. Never again.

  15. Bull0 says:

    I find myself wanting this just for the pythonesque name if nothing else. But actually all the silly clobber it comes with kind of appeals too. And there’s no obnoxious figurine or t-shirt or whatever. Yeah, I could get this. Fingers crossed for a decent game, too. They’ve got to have learned their lesson from DA2, surely

  16. Gap Gen says:

    I suppose they have to distinguish between the Inquisition Inquisitors and the more dangerous and unpredictable Freelance Inquisitors, as well as the loosely affiliated National Transport Inquisitors, Community Support Inquisitors, and that guy who is nothing to do with them but likes wearing robes and torturing people.

  17. Shadowcat says:

    Inquisition Inquisitor’s Edition.

    You play Dirk Codpiece; the low-down internal affairs inquisitor of the DAPD, doing the job that no one else wants, and making enemies both inside and outside the force — and they’re all about to have a real bad day…

  18. bleeters says:

    Good to see the days of obnoxious pre-order encouragement and superfluous bullshit editions are coming definitively to a middle.

    • strangeloup says:

      It’s left me in a thorough pickle as to which version of the game I’m not going to buy.

  19. Keyrock says:

    Faux reptile skin makes sense. I expect the game to have plenty of faux meaningful choices.

  20. MkMax says:

    i want to see a picture with two “not-hawke” inquisitors, one with everything in the faux reptile edition and the other wearing a potato sack because thats how i picture these games everytime i see a humongous list of crap for the “pay extra” editions

  21. kael13 says:

    We’ll see, Bioware. I’m not exactly chomping at the bit. I think I’ll wait for at least a score of 15 hands out of 18 before cantering down to the shop and ponying up any of my herd-earned mare-ny.

    Okay, I’ll stop.

    BOG UNICORN!

  22. Agnol117 says:

    I doubt the Deluxe Edition stuff is going to be particularly game breaking. Nothing from the equivalent editions of previous Bioware games did. At best, it made the early game a little easier, then rapidly became super weak in comparison to other items.

    • MkMax says:

      Dunno, for Origins its a completely different game to play with or without the “deluxe” items

      In DA2 the deluxe addons gave you the barely game-changing option to… RESPEC!

  23. MadTinkerer says:

    So… is it Origin exclusive? Kind of an important issue to me.

  24. Kinch says:

    I read the big text on the image as “Dragon Age: JIMQUISITION”…

    Also, this CE is totally cuckoo.

  25. Lemming says:

    Admittedly the idea of a ‘dragon skin’ box and an inkpot and quill are very cool for an RPG collectors edition, but I don’t find the Dragon Age universe even remotely compelling.

  26. revan says:

    I’m still on the fence about buying their game, let alone considering some overly expensive CE.

  27. chargen says:

    Can I just get the pretty box and neat stuff without the almost certainly awful game?

  28. 7vincent7black7 says:

    Why the **** would I want a Tarot Deck?!

    • Gundrea says:

      So you can play Tarot?

      • revan says:

        Where are Le pictures? Without some eye candy I’m not convinced.

    • Bitter says:

      Judging by the lack of an art book in the CE, I expect the tarot deck is basically an art book with loose pages. Which can be pretty neat, if done right. If.

  29. welverin says:

    “I… kind of want it. Mostly for the quill and inkpot.”

    I want the map, want to go halvsies and split the loot?

  30. Arglebargle says:

    Dragon Age: Origins was the last Bioware game I bought. They are going to have to do a stellar job on this one to get me to buy it. Also have to not be tied to their ‘distribution’ system. Certainly not going to plunk down money before it comes out, and the reviews come in.

    That’s what releasing crap can lead to….

  31. angrychair says:

    Too bad it doesn’t include the Dragon Age tabletop RPG from Green Ronin. Seems like kind of a no-brainer to include that, or at least demo rulebook or something.

  32. seruko says:

    ME:3 DA:2. Never forget, never forgive. Will not buy.

  33. SuicideKing says:

    I wonder why unicorns are called unicorns and not unihorns

  34. Noviere says:

    At last! My anti-sex chamber will finally be complete!

  35. the grue says:

    “The lockpicks, by the way, are apparently intended to open a hidden compartment”

    If that’s not a metaphor for EA’s business model, I don’t know what is.