Well lah-di-dah, look at Lady Croft, hob-nobbing with ancient Egyptian gods. Don’t Horus and Isis know what she gets up to at weekends? She stole that dinner set too, you know. You can still see the bloodstains. I can’t imagine why they’re keeping company with her. For all I know gods are fond of that blood and murder, though. Dreadful heathens. I tell you Alice dear, I wanted them to turn down my invitation to afternoon tea.
Deary me, sorry readers. I popped out the room to make a cuppa before tackling the announcement of Lara Croft and the Temple of Osiris and my grandmother Alice (it’s a family name) starts trying to send me an e-mail about a video game as if the characters and events contained within were real ha ha grandmother what a hackneyed literary device.
2013’s Tomb Raider reboot may get credit for reviving the series, but Lara Croft herself was doing just dandy in a spin-off before then. 2010’s Lara Croft and the Guardian of Light was a pleasant little top-down game with plenty of shooting and some solid two-player co-op puzzle-platforming (our John certainly enjoyed it). Though Tomb Raider’s Lara may now be a teenager, Lara Croft® Lara is still a grown-up, which I’m sure will thrill fans of fictional timelines.
The Temple of Osiris will see Lara pillaging somewhere or other, this time accompanied by newly-freed gods Horus and Isis as well as another treasure hunter, making for four-player co-op. They’re off to stop the god Set by scooping up pieces of Osiris, the brother he murdered. And probably snatching a fair few treasures and weapons too while they’re at it.