And so it has come to pass. Revelation chapter thirteen tells of the beast that rose from the sea, “upon his heads the name of blasphemy”, and old blaspheme-bonce is followed by other portents of the end-times. The final chapters of Revelation introduce yet more incredible signs of doom, so incredible in fact that they have long been considered apocryphal. Take this excerpt from chapter 47: “Yea, from the mountain a rumbling, a crack in the firmament, a host cried out in anguish and looked upon the plummy terror of a third-person Settlers action game. Or maybe even a sodding MOBA.” Can it be that we live in those times even now? A trailer for the newly announced Kingdoms Of Anteria caused me to tremble and gnash.
No. Wait. It’s all OK, isn’t it? This is just a very silly trailer that takes a while to look like a Settlers game. Phew. No need to adopt the brace position in the under-bunker just yet. In fact, maybe we’re entering a land of milk and honey (and wood, stone, grain, iron ore etc) because I hear that the previous Settlers game was actually a bit of alright. I haven’t played it but it’s no exaggeration to say that the original is an unusual entry on my never-fully-realised list of favourite games.
It’s a sedate and beautiful thing and now that I’m thinking about exactly how sedate and beautiful it is, I’m becoming a bit annoyed by all of those growling, snarling idiot monsters in the trailer up there. Maybe it is time to take shelter after all. Just to be safe.