Slowing To A: Crawl Delay Announced With The Greatest GIF

By Nathan Grayson on July 11th, 2014 at 10:00 am.

I’m really looking forward to Crawl. The concept – a dungeon crawler where your friends control the monsters – is as brilliant as it is elegantly simple, and it’s got oodles (or blob monsters, as it were) of style to back it up. Last we heard, it was gonna hit Steam Early Access in a week, but then The Beast, The Dragon, The Creature That Sees All From Behind Ever-Shifting Lidless Eyes, That Which Oozes From The Cracks Of Society Like Rancid Pus From A Wound, tax organization the IRS got in the way. Go below for an explanation that will make you smile in spite of yourself.

Developer Powerhoof went on to clarify in a blog post:

“There were some tax issues with us being a partnership based in Australia, so we changed Powerhoof into a Company at the start of the month.”

“Everything was on track until pretty much the last step, where we got hit with an unexpected bit of red tape that we were told ‘may take up to 30 days’ to resolve. We tried to find a way around it, but there’s nothing we can do.”

So then, when’s it coming out? Powerhoof doesn’t know yet. The issue could be resolved in a couple days, or it could be multiple weeks. In the meantime, though, they plan to add as many “cool wishlist ideas” as possible.

It’s a bummer, but it sounds like the extra time won’t go to waste. Oh well, though. I suppose this also gives me time to find more friends. How does this sound: “Hey, we should hang out because I want to throw you in a dungeon and pretend to be a seven-thousand-eyed tentacle beast that will stop at nothing to end your life”? I don’t know about you, but I’d befriend me after hearing such a swagger-laden pitch.

Maybe that’s why I’m my only real friend.

(Kidding! I’m actually fine, but I’m also a sucker for downer endings.)

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25 Comments »

  1. JamesTrab says:

    Is it supposed to be couch-coop?

    • Turkey says:

      Nah. It’s more like couch-fuck-your-friends-over.

      • fromthemountainsofmildness says:

        No matter how much we think this is going to work out, it makes the next day kind of awkward .

  2. corinoco says:

    Ah, Austfailia, Austfailia, Austfailia, we love you!

    THE MOST COMPLEX TAXATION SYSTEM IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE.

    The ‘murricans always go on and on about the IRS – they clearly had to use IRS as no-one fears the innocuous sounding ATO.

    ATO – Austfailian Taxation Office.

    the letters that makes the average Austafailian turn pale with fear, unless they are wealthy media/casino barons or politicians.

    Chuck Norris has never been to Austfailia because he is afraid of the ATO.

    Funnel web spiders evolved their deadly neurotoxin to ward off ATO officers – it backfired, as ATO staff use funnel web venom as a refreshing drink.

    PM John Howard’s father was a Nazi party member(*) so he could learn how to make the ATO more feared than the SS.

    The ATO has had an important role in making Austfailia the egalitarian, democratic, corruption-free, friendly, caring nation of kind people it is widely respected for country full of rude, heartless, compassionless, America-worshipping bogans it is today.

    * – actually true.

    • drinniol says:

      Dude, what? Tax time all you need to do is enter your income and deductions into eTax and answer some yes/no questions. Or you could just hire a fucking tax accountant.

      And John Howard’s father was against appeasement – that means a staunch anti-Nazi. And that was from a 30 second Google search. Lay off the crack.

    • JFS says:

      Germany has a taxation system that makes funnelweb spider’s fangs fall out…

    • Philotic Symmetrist says:

      Extra details from the blog:

      “it’s complicated because the online stores are American, so we have to go though IRS to make sure we pay the right tax to the right people, so it’s not simple!”

      • bhauck says:

        Working through it in my head, I’m guessing they’re just filing for an EIN so that when Steam, etc. withhold taxes from their payouts, as you frequently/sometimes have to do when paying foreign people/organizations, they can tell the IRS on whose behalf they’re withholding, and come tax time the developers will be able to (hopefully) get a lot of it back. I’ve very limited international accounting experience, though, and it doesn’t look like the form in the GIF is real.

    • Chuckleluck says:

      *mumbles* At least you Aussies never had to deal with political targeting with the ATO.. SORRY KEEPING POLITICS OUT OF GAMING CARRY ON.

    • Vin_Howard says:

      Austfailia…?

      • Jackablade says:

        As another resident of that dusty rock, I can’t say I disagree particularly vehemently.

    • Ostymandias says:

      swedish tax agency is great, but then again i’m a swede so i unconditionally love high taxes, the welfare state and all that yummy free healthcare yum

      also check their logo out http://www.aktiespararna.se/pagedir/42561/Skatteverket-staende-farg(1).png it’s really cool you see how stuff (taxpayer money) goes in from individuals and then at the same time comes right back to them yup that’s zero corruption welfare with progressive taxes for you, yeah

  3. aliksy says:

    Crawl is already a well known roguelike. Boo for duplicate names.

    • Guy Montag says:

      Its full name being Dungeon Crawl Stone Soup. So no real reason for booing. Surprisingly, looks like no game has ever been named Crawl before now.

      • LionsPhil says:

        Stone Soup is a derivative of Crawl.

        It’s a pretty terrible choice of name, and if they didn’t know that, they didn’t do their research into the (rough) genre they’re getting into.

        • Guy Montag says:

          Of course, but Crawl was always shorthand for the full name, Dungeon Crawl.

          I should still try the original, given how much I love DCSS, thanks for reminding me of it. :D

          • The Random One says:

            Don’t bother, ‘vanilla’ crawl is essentially running around for a few levels until you find something faster than you and it kills you.

        • sub-program 32 says:

          Except its not really the same genre. while it has a lot of simular themes and ideas, its more of a party game than a roguelike.

        • DelrueOfDetroit says:

          It appears not doing research may be a problem of theirs.

  4. Phasma Felis says:

    Could we maybe get the Crawl narrator, the Darkest Dungeon narrator, and the Bastion narrator together to make a game? Or just, like, have a conversation?

    Maybe Jazz Boatman from Leviathan: Warships can come too.

    • sub-program 32 says:

      You can’t forget Kevin Brighting from The Stanley Parable!

  5. Ovidiu GOA says:

    pff, i was so looking forward to getting it next week, i like the concept soo much, developers should really try to use dark souls ideas more and let players be the monsters and bosses you encounter in your single player, like an asymmetric multiplayer where you get to choose what boss or monster you want to be and then proceed to try to kill the user playing this as “single player”. There would be no need for a really good AI, player would take care of that and make the single player experience that much better