503 - Service Unavailable

[Smashbox]

503 -*Service Unavailable
An Interactive Fiction by Horace The Endless Server Technician
Release 1*/ Serial number 110707 /*Inform 7*build 6E72 (I6/v6.31 lib 6/12N)*

HTTP Error
You are standing at the entrance to Castle Shotgun. The gates are securely locked, with an unappealing sign on the front. The sign reads "Whoops! RPS is having a*bit of a*wobbly. Don't worry, we'll be back soon!"

To the left of the gates is a*large opening in the wall, which Jim is leaning into. John is perched on a*small rock nearby, while Alec and Tim are standing on the other side of the gates. A*pile of magazines is scattered in a*corner.

You can see Jim, John, Tim, Alec and a*Refresh Button here.

>read magazines
You pick up one of the magazines. It's the latest issue of Guns And Conversation, John and Jim's fanzine that they distribute around Bath. The cover story promises "Semi-autos and small talk" and an interview with a man who has invented a talking gun.
You notice an old copy of Amiga Power in the pile.

>take amiga power
You reach for the magazine, but as you touch it it disintegrates in front of your eyes. In its place are the feet of a man. That man is Kieron Gillen. He smiles down at you.

>flatter kieron
That's not a verb I recognise.

>inventory
You are carrying:
a strange love of jetpacks
an opinion on just about everything

>look at kieron
Kieron's figure is hard to make out, as his very flesh appears to emanate a glowing white light. He floats approximately two inches off the ground, and is wearing glasses which, when peered into, appear to reflect visions of the future and past.
He still looks a bit like Jason Statham though.

[Jams O'Donnell]

How did you know the commands!?

[MiniMatt]

Loved it :o)

I got as far as summoning Kieron, talking to the posse, peering at the unfathomable infinity that is the midriff of a certain bear and then you barstewards had to go ruin all my fun by fixing the website :o(

[Feet]

I tried to kiss Tim and got told to keep my mind on the game. Nice. ^_^

[MiniMatt]

Chuckle, I got the same response with a mere hug. Grumpy sods.

Edit: oh, and Jams - partly a mis-spent youth on early ZX Speccy text adventures (I *still* a quarter of a century later remember The Hobbit and getting stuck in the forest with the damned pale bulbous eyes), and partly just a case of trying everything.

Go north (south/east/west etc)
Look (direction/object)
Sit
Take/get
Attack Jim (violence is not the answer to this one)
Push button (don't even try it)
etc. etc.

[Smashbox]

I couldn't get further than that... did anyone?

[Tikey]

That was amazing.

[squareking]

You cannot stroke Horace's midriff. I tried.

[Durkonkell]

I completely failed to summon Kieron or find a copy of Guns and Conversation! Clearly I have not spent sufficient time playing text adventures.

[Tikey]

I found the 900 pages walkthrough for "You have to burn the rope"

[The JG Man]

I knew there was something going on, but I thought it was just a nice homage to the old text based games. I didn't think it was an actual text based game! That's amazing.

[President Weasel]

It didn't recognise lick as a verb.

[CMaster]

I looked at and talked to all the visible crew, summoned (and talked to) Keiron, got warned off the button, examined Horace. Interestingly though, I got a different random magazine - it was a strategy guide for "You have to burn the rope"

[Smashbox]

There was also a magazine called Your Cat! I think. You put it away because you'd read it several times already.

[lasikbear]

I managed to summon keiron and the ineffectually beg for help forever. It accepted ask as a command but I was never able to succeed with it.

[Hanban]

I tried to kiss Tim and got told to keep my mind on the game. Nice. ^_^

Alas I was met with the same. No snuggling from any of the RPS writers.

[squareking]

Alas I was met with the same. No snuggling from any of the RPS writers.

And in the game!

[MiniMatt]

Some more verbs which seemed to do something: wave, unlock, wear, show, light, say.

You can't set light to the magazines (or the staff..... what? computer games make me violent, what can I say), saying opinion to Jim is about as effective as I'd imagine. And waving my love of jetpacks at John proved entertaining but futile. And no, one cannot unlock Tim with Alec.

[kirrus]

For those who want another play:
http://rockpapershotgun.com/503test

Don't blame me if you finish it, and next time the site goes down you don't have anything to do ;)

[somini]

After a peak at the surce code of the page you can download the game here: http://error.rockpapershotgun.com/503%20-%20Service%20Unavailable.zblorb
and use a Z-machine interpreter, like http://inform7.com/ to play it whenever you want. Oh, and with inform7 you can *maybe* use some debug commands to dump all the verbs it recognizes, all the objects that exists, etc. I haven't test it yet, but I guess it works.

[The JG Man]

>move
What do you want to move?

>Jim
That would be less than courteous.

I'm gonna stop now.

[Colonel J]

oh go on, one more


>give love of jetpacks to alec

Everyone here has one of those already.


:)

[ZamFear]

>squeeze Tim
Keep your hands to yourself.

>bother
Quite.

[Estel]

Looking at the opening might have been my favourite. Or perhaps opening the gates.

[ZamFear]

>rub self
You achieve nothing by this.

...and in the game!

[mtrc]

Anyone tried the F5 button yet?

[DigitalSignalX]

>examine self
As good looking as ever.

[mtrc]

Your signature really makes that post.