PDA

View Full Version : You loveable nuts <3



Diogo_Ribeiro
24-01-2012, 01:16 PM
So earlier I tried to access the page about Airport Firefighter Simulator and got an error. An error like a text adventure.


503 - Service Unavailable
An Interactive Fiction by Horace The Endless Server Technician
Release 1 / Serial number 110707 / Inform 7 build 6E72 (I6/v6.31 lib 6/12N)

HTTP Error
You are standing at the entrance to Castle Shotgun. The gates are securely locked, with an unappealing sign on the front. The sign reads "Whoops! RPS is having a bit of a wobbly. Don't worry, we'll be back soon!"

To the left of the gates is a large opening in the wall, which Jim is leaning into. John is perched on a small rock nearby, while Alec and Tim are standing on the other side of the gates. A pile of magazines is scattered in a corner.

You can see Jim, John, Tim, Alec and a Refresh Button here.

>press refresh button
Jim looks up from his work. "Don't even think about it."

>u mad jim?
I only understood you as far as wanting to u.

>you mad jim?
That's not a verb I recognise.

>are you mad jim?
That's not a verb I recognise.

>ok
That's not a verb I recognise.

>look at jim
His top hat and procedurally-generated facial hair gives him away in a second - this is Jim Rossignol, wordsmith and crazed steampunk inventor.

Jim is hunched over an opening in the Castle Shotgun walls, from which various wires are trailing. There is the occasional spark and fizz as he rummages around.

>look at spark and fizz
You can't see any such thing.

>look at wires
You can't see any such thing.

>think of wobbly
I only understood you as far as wanting to think.

>help
That's not a verb I recognise.

>help me
That's not a verb I recognise.

>talk to jim
Jim doesn't take his head out of the hole in the wall. You hear him muttering to himself.

"Yes, it must be the... no, unless it's the... Hmm."

>inspect hole in the wall
That's not a verb I recognise.

>look at hole in the wall
You peek at the hole in the wall. There is a mess of wiring and tubes, and what appears to be the midriff of a particularly long animal. You peer down the inside of the wall in both directions, but see no evidence of legs or a head. Weird.

>look at john
John sits hunched over on a stone at the foot of Castle Shotgun's walls, head in hands groaning to himself. There are several empty rum bottles nearby, one of which appears to have an Asda logo on it.

>look at rum bottles
You can't see any such thing.

>talk to john
John looks up. "Hmm? No, I didn't lock us out. We're just having a bit of trouble with Horace. We'll have it working again in a tick."

He resumes nursing his headache.

>ask about horace
You can only do that to something animate.

>look at alec
On closer inspection, Alec appears to be gluing bits of Warhammer 40k model armour to his shoulders and chest.

Alec clears his throat and tests out his Librarian imitation. It's not bad.

>talk to alec
Alec seems a bit involved with sticking plastic armour to himself to reply. It's probably best to leave him alone when he's arming up, anyway.

>ask john about horace
There is no reply.

>ask john about rum
There is no reply.

>ask alec about warhammer 40k
There is no reply.

>look at tim
Tim is standing on a small outcrop, binoculars in one hand, looking out eastwards. Unfortunately, east of here is just the M4 corridor, but east is the direction heroes look in, as evidenced by his stony glare.
He takes a deep breath. "I love the smell of Bath in the morning."

>take binoculars from tim
You can't see any such thing.

>is john really a lousy healer?
That's not a verb I recognise.

>bye
That's not a verb I recognise.

>



you loveable nuts.

Harlander
24-01-2012, 01:43 PM
That would explain why, when things have gone a bit wonky before, the error message was the less-than-enlightening "Parchment is an Interactive Fiction interpreter"

kirrus
24-01-2012, 08:50 PM
It should say it requires javascript... Harlander, I'll PM you.

TailSwallower
24-01-2012, 10:08 PM
Yeah, I saw this when we had some forum downtime lately - though I must say that Diogo has a lot more patience than I. After trying a couple of things I gave up.

Thanks for posting the text though - great stuff.

DigitalSignalX
24-01-2012, 11:04 PM
There's actually tons of stuff to find in it, with some patience.


>ask about horace
You can only do that to something animate.

very sad. Horace should never, by definition, be inanimate.

Skalpadda
25-01-2012, 09:38 AM
Surely it's whoever he's asking about Horace that's referred to as inanimate. So.. John?

crossangel2012
26-01-2012, 01:01 AM
too long to read.. lol .

DigitalSignalX
26-01-2012, 03:43 AM
too long to read.. lol .

You've said in the books thread that you despise reading and that it makes your head ache. Here you cite length is an issue for you again.

Yet, you still decided to join and contribute to a forum, an online medium in which the primary means of communication on topics is READING and writing.

Are you sure you are in the right place? Very curious.

ChainsawHands
26-01-2012, 09:33 AM
I was amused when I found Kieron in the text adventure.

Diogo_Ribeiro
26-01-2012, 02:54 PM
I wanted to try more things, actually, figure out what other commands it would recognize but I had to go off to work so I had to cut the adventure short :(

kirrus
26-01-2012, 05:28 PM
Well, if you want a play:
http://rockpapershotgun.com/503test
As always though, don't blame me if you're bored next time we take the site down for scheduled maintenance ;)

Hydrogene
30-01-2012, 10:33 AM
That's great! But who is Tim?

Edit: I forgot about Mr Stone. Sorry for this terrible brain-lapse, but I blame Mondays...