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Juan Carlo
24-01-2012, 10:47 PM
So I just started playing Two Worlds 1 for the first time, and was amused to discover how completely awful its writing and voice over work are. It's like the people doing the voice overs have never even heard humans talk before. The inflection is all weird, sometimes emphasizing words and phrases for no reason. They will read statements as if they are questions (with a sort of "rise" at the end), and vice versa, and other times they will load a totally non emotional statement with emotion, while reading a more emotional statement with no emotion at all (which will hilariously often give the most innocuous and benign statements sinister undertones for no reason what so ever). And the writing itself barely makes any sense at all and is loaded with non sequitors.

I suspect it was written in another language and then poorly translated to English, but still given the story line I'm not sure how it could sound good even in its native tongue.

See the hilariousness for yourself:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YyowZ22puP4&feature=related

Anyhow, I am actually kind of amused by poor video game writing/acting, so this got me wondering. Which video game has your vote for the worst writing/acting ever?

vecordae
24-01-2012, 10:53 PM
X3: Terran Conflict so far. It's got my favorite bad acting and nonsensical writing. My very favorite is the one Argon guy that shouts "See you on the otherside! Aaargh!" in a voice that sounds like an especially chipper Hermes Conrad.

Ayam
24-01-2012, 10:58 PM
What was the game that had an RPS article where there was an old guy and a young guy on a boat in a sunny climate and the boy referred to the old man as 'vrandfather'?

They suddenly got pounced on by a bunch of enemy boats and it went into Operation Wolf style shooter from the back of the boat. It's been bugging me and this thread is the perfect place to ask.

That's my nomination based solely on the clip that was linked.

MD!
24-01-2012, 11:08 PM
What was the game that had an RPS article where there was an old guy and a young guy on a boat in a sunny climate and the boy referred to the old man as 'vrandfather'?

They suddenly got pounced on by a bunch of enemy boats and it went into Operation Wolf style shooter from the back of the boat. It's been bugging me and this thread is the perfect place to ask.

That's my nomination based solely on the clip that was linked.

http://youtu.be/Aw6r3Vqq9y0

http://www.rockpapershotgun.com/2011/02/17/the-longest-day-24-hours-in-white-gold/

:D

Juan Carlo
24-01-2012, 11:18 PM
http://youtu.be/Aw6r3Vqq9y0

http://www.rockpapershotgun.com/2011/02/17/the-longest-day-24-hours-in-white-gold/

:D


Wow. I totally have to play this now.

Icarus
24-01-2012, 11:21 PM
The written dialogue and voice acting in the Alien/Zombie Shooter games isn't exactly Oscar-worthy. The games themselves are good, but the dialogue does make me go 'wha?' a little.

TailSwallower
24-01-2012, 11:22 PM
As a fan of the original games, Fallout 3's writing was fucking awful (detailed brilliantly by Nalano recently), and the voice acting was pretty fucking terrible too.

Whilst the storyline in Dawn of War 1 was perfectly fine, the cutscene dialogue and voice acting was atrocious. DOW2 is much better in the writing and voice-acting departments, though the banter between the Spice Maureens before and after missions is pretty awful - overwrought and expositional.

Those are the only ones that spring to mind but I'm sure people who've played a lot of European games translated into English will have some better examples...

Icarus
24-01-2012, 11:25 PM
whilst the storyline in dawn of war 1 was perfectly fine, the cutscene dialogue and voice acting was atrocious. Dow2 is much better in the writing and voice-acting departments, though the banter between the spice maureens before and after missions is pretty awful - overwrought and expositional.

"Witness yoor dooooommmmmm!"

Yeah, uh, no.

vecordae
24-01-2012, 11:36 PM
the banter between the Spice Maureens before and after missions is pretty awful - overwrought and expositional.

That doesn't make any sense. The majority of Space Marine (you spelled it wrong?) dialogue in the books consists of deep, compelling interpersonal communication. Overwrought, expositional melodrama and Warhammer 40K? Those words can't, realistically, exist in the same sentence unless that sentence was specifically constructed to point out that they can't, realistically, exist in the same sentence unless that sen<recursion loop error 4, reboot_HUMANSPY_prot7//vecordae>

Sorry. Passed out for a minute there. I think I tried to use too much sarcasm at once again. Seriously, though, if you take away all the overwrought expositional melodrama then it's either a Caiaphas Cain book or it isn't Warhammer 40K.

vinraith
24-01-2012, 11:41 PM
The Men of War series, particularly the first game, has to get a mention here.

That said, most of the entries here are of course games translated to English, usually with non-native English speaking voice actors. I can only imagine how hilariously bad some of the games we think of as being good about voice acting and writing must be once translated to Russian or the like.

Nalano
24-01-2012, 11:41 PM
That doesn't make any sense. The majority of SPEZ MAHREEN (you spelled it wrong?) dialogue

I fixed your post for you.

DigitalSignalX
24-01-2012, 11:46 PM
SOMEONE SET US UP THE BOMB(?)

Surprised no one has "all your base" a bad VG thread yet :)

Stellar Duck
24-01-2012, 11:49 PM
I'll second Men of War.

That game was hillarious. Cupboards, the lot of them.

BobbyFizz
24-01-2012, 11:57 PM
Men of War has very consistant terrible voice acting and writing. I remember one mission where you're arriving as a reinforcement group, and a character says in a Russian accent "Hope we're not too late for war! Let's give those Germans what for!". That has stuck with me and gives me nightmares.

Also, red orchestra 2 local german and russian voices sound ridiculous.

ZamFear
25-01-2012, 12:02 AM
Behold the horror of Aquanox (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hxe8JRLYHy8).

Juan Carlo
25-01-2012, 12:17 AM
Behold the horror of Aquanox (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hxe8JRLYHy8).

That's hilarious.

The woman character is just a dude speaking in a really high voice and a bad southern accent.

Pure awesomeness.

airtekh
25-01-2012, 12:19 AM
I don't know about individual games, but I'm always amused by this compilation (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VRhDmUzWuBI) of bad acting.

Theblazeuk
25-01-2012, 12:34 AM
The X games have woefully bad writing and take themselves oh so seriously. Major stumbling block.



Sorry. Passed out for a minute there. I think I tried to use too much sarcasm at once again. Seriously, though, if you take away all the overwrought expositional melodrama then it's either a Caiaphas Cain book or it isn't Warhammer 40K.

Or you're in a fething Gaunt's Ghost book

Kevin
25-01-2012, 12:56 AM
The writing seemed relatively inoffensive to me, but the speech in the ArmA games:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=EJpkUmzYAHw

My roommates watched me play ArmA II one night, and for the next couple of weeks, we talked to each other like this: "HEY. do. YOU. want. A. Corona. FROM. the. FRIDGE? Friendly. MAN!"

For the worst writing, Fallout 3 is up there. In particular the game calling you out as a coward for sending someone like Fawkes and the robot to turn on the purifier like a sane human being would rather than sacrificing yourself (that, and how the game was so in love with its own Karma system).

SamuelH
25-01-2012, 01:20 AM
Aside from the problems it had in just about all its other aspects, the voice acting in Ultima 9 was awful.

Still, you had to get it to run for more than five minutes before you could hear any of it.

PeopleLikeFrank
25-01-2012, 02:31 AM
You people keep misspelling SPESS MEHREN, and I find it very upsetting.

I loved Painkiller, but seem to remember rolling my eyes so hard during the cutscenes it's a wonder I didn't injure myself.

The worst in recent memory is Starcraft II, but unfortunately it's not in the 'so bad it's funny' category.
:(

Anthile
25-01-2012, 02:41 AM
The single worst example would be Planet Alcatraz. At first I was merely confused but then I had tears in my eyes from laughter.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7q0lurJaCMo

Juan Carlo
25-01-2012, 02:53 AM
^LOL

If you are going to try to explore complex issues like euthanasia in your video game, you should probably take the two seconds to disable the standard battle audio for that one scene.

"Die Bastard! You're dead dork!"

It's so delightfully cruel.

Snargelfargen
25-01-2012, 06:20 AM
No mention of Two Worlds' voice acting is complete without this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPmtp_fOPYQ

As far as I know this is never mentioned again in the game. I don't know about the sequel though.

Kaira-
25-01-2012, 08:53 AM
You people keep misspelling SPESS MEHREN, and I find it very upsetting.
It's SPESS MUHREEN, you heretic.

Anyway, speaking of SPESS MUHREENS, how about Dawn of War: Soulstorm?


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WeCfod1XT7E&amp;feature=related

Yes, the audio track is from the game.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cO3MttgvHUY

Foolish SPESS MUHREENS, hiding in their METAL BAWKSES.

c-Row
25-01-2012, 09:15 AM
I played the demo of Just Cause 2 over the weekend (a bit late, but I only recently switched to Win 7). Auuuuuuurgh! Horrible, horrible voice acting! One of the advantages of English as second language is that I don't spot every cringeworthy piece of acting as accurately as a native speaker would, but that was just painfully bad!



Whilst the storyline in Dawn of War 1 was perfectly fine, the cutscene dialogue and voice acting was atrocious. DOW2 is much better in the writing and voice-acting departments, though the banter between the Spice Maureens before and after missions is pretty awful - overwrought and expositional.

It was fine in the German translation. A bit over the top, but that's Warhammer 40K for you.

FunnyB
25-01-2012, 09:28 AM
I played the demo of Just Cause 2 over the weekend (a bit late, but I only recently switched to Win 7). Auuuuuuurgh! Horrible, horrible voice acting!

Well to be fair, the contact you save in one of the first missions, the swedish guy? As a swede you can really hear how they've exaggerrated his bad english too extreme levels.

I remember DICE doing the same in Midtown Madness 3, where the "bad guys" were swedish tourists with names like Gunnar and the like. They too spoke extremely exaggerrated swenglish.

Vexing Vision
25-01-2012, 09:29 AM
This is the actual intro scene to Get Medieval, a gauntlet clone from the dark ages. This is not a joke video. Seriously.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CBn1TKlx0uA

Unfortunately, I could not find the outtro where the Barbarian utters my favourite line ever "Look. I'm gonna crush him with mah crotch".

The whole thing was both atrocious and hilarious, and yes, I did play the whole thing through.

Memph
25-01-2012, 09:29 AM
Resi 1 of course

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X2l4LK1hK0U

Drake Sigar
25-01-2012, 10:15 AM
The guy who plays Miles from Arma 2 is one of the worst voiceactors I've ever heard.

Kevin
25-01-2012, 11:13 AM
Oh. Now I remember. The dude who voices all the Nord and Orc characters in Oblivion. He was to me what Brother Jauffre was to Alec.

lostrootpass
25-01-2012, 11:55 AM
I present Chaos Wars (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BAtC1SzWSXg)! Which I believe was entirely voice acted by family members.

Also, Ar Tonelico (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JoODv8LVib8) - inadvertently vaguely NSFWish audio.

Spacewalk
25-01-2012, 12:27 PM
Resi 1 of course
Deep Fear is even worse. Calling it terrible acting bad or not would be a stretch.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=Pek-1QosmPc#t=37s

Thirty seconds in is the spot. Sure it's not a PC game (it's on the Saturn) but let's not let that stop us and it was supposed to be SEGA's answer to Resident Evil at the time. Then we got a port of Resident Evil and that was that. Six forty three in this next one.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=0Al2uCmaBYE#t=403s

When you inspect one of the dead bodies in the game it offers up the line "What a tragic end. I can see his agony". Well I was certainly doubled over recalling the audible horror that was Deep Fear.

agentorange
25-01-2012, 01:01 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJkMMTegUaM

Skip to 1:45.

fiddlesticks
25-01-2012, 01:02 PM
It's far from the worst, but the voice acting in Deus Ex could get rather silly sometimes. Especially once you got to Hong Kong and Paris.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kihGm4KfY7k

SMiD
25-01-2012, 02:23 PM
Mass Effect 2's male Shepard dips into the completely awful spectrum several times. It's like the Bioware tech that did the recording was drunk and just said "that's a take!" after each initial read.

sabrage
25-01-2012, 02:25 PM
Ladies and gentlemen: Metal Wolf Chaos

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Genl242_ZU8

Gentleman Jim Stacey
25-01-2012, 03:02 PM
A recent example that comes to mind is Old World Blues from New Vegas.

I get there and listen to what seemed like 45 minutes of nonsensical dialogue from floating TV screens, and when they were finished I still had no fucking idea why I was there.

coldvvvave
25-01-2012, 03:05 PM
A recent example that comes to mind is Old World Blues from New Vegas.

I get there and listen to what seemed like 45 minutes of nonsensical dialogue from floating TV screens, and when they were finished I still had no fucking idea why I was there.
It was supposed to be funny, I think.

Caleb367
25-01-2012, 04:27 PM
It was supposed to be funny, I think.

It is. It's a parody of those over-dramatic cheap '50s movies, the same that get lampshaded in one of the final missions in Saints Row The Third. Cheesy dialogue, overdramatic emphasis, and all. Old World Blues gets it really really good. In the "Bee-WARE, you FILTHY ALIEN MONSTAH! I, the HERO, WILL STOP YOUUUU! ...for EARTH , FREEEEEEE-DOM AND HUUMAN-KIND!" way.

However.

Resident Evil has a deserved fame for atrocious writing/translation and voice acting. When you get people talking about inhuman undead monsters with all the emotion of a sleepy dude reading through a grocery list, you got lucky. The agent being eaten by a zombie described as "a shadow of his former self" sounds pretty tame in comparison.

Also, Supreme Commander 2. Besides the shitty game and terrible cutscene, you get cardboard characters, a predictable plot already seen in thirty thousand japanese anime, stupidly dramatic dialogue delivered in monotonous tone by people clearly wishing they were somewhere else.

Wizardry
25-01-2012, 04:51 PM
Richard Garriott and co doing the voice overs for the Ultima Underworld introduction:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gW-Eo2Y8PmQ