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Jiiiiim
02-11-2012, 09:20 PM
HELLO INTERNET

http://i479.photobucket.com/albums/rr151/Jiiiiim/adventcurrent-3_zps3a8b1a29.jpg

The Bloodbowl bit of RPS is one of my favourite places, being as it is a collection of friendly psychopaths who are allowed to act out their fantasies on virtual elves. That's all the world needs to be a nicer place. Chitter and chatter is good, but you know what would be even better? A month of THEMED BLOODBOWL FESTIVITIES.

To break it down, each person who wants in gets a day of advent to create and cast unto the world whatever they like, with some kind of christmassy theme (and/or bloodbowl I guess). All these put together form our calendar.

T'other forum I've done this on has had some spectacular entries in the past, from games to pictures (http://i.imgur.com/0IEMs.jpg) to stories to "songs" (http://www.sekritforum.com/advent10/jim/Baby.mp3) to mock (http://sekritforum.com/advent/fuzzy/1.jpg) reviews (http://sekritforum.com/advent/fuzzy/2.jpg) to big numbers (http://sekritforum.com/advent/gap/advent2009.pdf) to a full pantomime, but it's not about those, really, it's about the coming together of a community. We've produced some cracking match reports, some awesome fiction, some adversarial grudges, and if we can channel exactly 75% of that energy, it's going to be an awesome advent.

If you're interested in having a day, sign up below and pick what day you'd like (between 1st and 24th December I guess). Don't worry if you don't have any idea what to do, just quickly submit to peer pressure and sign up without thinking! Go!

1st - Lowkey!
2nd
3rd
4th - Dentharial!
5th - Chainsawhands!
6th - Squirrel!
7th - Laneford!
8th - Ian!
9th - Ian!
10th - Cyber!
11th
12th - Boots!
13th
14th - Weasel!
15th - Kapouille!
16th - Jolima!
17th - Screwie!
18th - Alini!
19th - Jim!
20th - Doughnut!
21st - NieA7!
22nd - Groovy!
23rd - Everblue!
24th

Everblue
02-11-2012, 10:06 PM
I'll take the 23rd.

Ho ho ho

boots468
02-11-2012, 10:24 PM
12! It's the best of all the numbers!

laneford
03-11-2012, 11:22 AM
I'm in! Give me any day you wish.

Jiiiiim
03-11-2012, 11:47 AM
EXCELLENT

Everybody else: DO IT

Squiz
03-11-2012, 02:04 PM
EXCELLENT

Everybody else: DO ITAlright, give me the 6th, I'll be your very bloody St Nicholas, for Christ's sake.

harhis23
04-11-2012, 07:10 AM
Don't even know what this is all about. Where and how to sign up? :) In this thread?

Dentharial
04-11-2012, 08:12 AM
Edit: This first sentence isn't important any more.
Ok, so I'd love to sign up to this, but work is going to be crazy until mid-December. So...I guess I need one of the later dates, say the 21st?

I also have an idea for something that I'm arrogant enough to say might be a cool finale to do on the 24th. Give me a couple of days to hammer out some more details and then approach people about it. Suffice to say it wouldn't be me alone, but more of a collaboration.

Edit: Screw the above. I'd like the 4th, because it's my lucky number and dammit this is important enough to handle however I want it to.

Still got an idea for a collaboration that I think would be better done as one of the later dates, but I by no means want to 'hog' the 24th.

Jiiiiim
04-11-2012, 11:30 AM
Don't even know what this is all about. Where and how to sign up? :) In this thread?

In the thread yeah. It's an advent calendar! Every day of advent, someone makes something audio or picture or video or text or whatever that is christmassy or bloodbowly or both. It's fun!

Dentharial you have the 4th, let me know if you want the 24th.

LowKey
04-11-2012, 12:29 PM
Could have the first Jiiiiim, got something in mind

Ian
05-11-2012, 01:00 PM
Erm, go on then. I'll have the 9th so as to give me at least one weekend day to try and squeeze something out of my creativity-bereft mind.

groovychainsaw
05-11-2012, 01:49 PM
Give me the 22nd - I'll try to roll out some creative writing skills that have been lying dormant for 15 years...

/Edited, for grammar, amusingly. That writing may end up painful to read, apologies in advance!!

Ian
05-11-2012, 03:14 PM
To my genuine surprise I have no less than two ideas that I like and am tempted to get started on one of them already.

Screwie
05-11-2012, 03:21 PM
I have an inkling of an idea, but I'm hesitant to put my name down until I get a better handle on it first (And also if I can devote enough time to producing it)...

Ian
05-11-2012, 03:24 PM
That counts as a sign-up. Put his name down, Jim.

Everblue
05-11-2012, 03:50 PM
Ha! Ian - you posted in this thread again! That means you have to go down twice!

Ian
05-11-2012, 04:05 PM
That's what she said. Or something.

EDIT: OH GOD I'VE DONE IT AGAIN.

NieA7
05-11-2012, 05:02 PM
I've got an idea and an idea I can't do it, so I'll have the 21st if that's OK - should give me enough time to come up with something else if needs be...

Jiiiiim
05-11-2012, 07:03 PM
oh my word that's ten names filled in already. That's more than 40%. BETTER SIGN UP QUICKLY EVERYONE ELSE

Dentharial
06-11-2012, 11:44 AM
This is so exciting!

My brain is bubbling with ideas. I really need to see if there's enough material available for the collab idea, but it looks like there'll be enough volunteers that it may not be necessary. Or maybe I'll just replace my smaller idea on the 4th with the bigger idea.

Huge thanks to Jim for suggesting and organising this. Christmas is absolutely my favourite time of year, but I now live in a country that doesn't celebrate it, so having this advent calendar to look forward to is amazing.

Ian
06-11-2012, 12:08 PM
I've started mine. It's slow going because I am so utterly dreadful with Paint.

I might just claim it looks intentionally awful and that that's part of the charm or something.

Yeah, that'll work.

Dentharial
06-11-2012, 01:02 PM
Do it 'in-character' as an Orc, or possibly a Khemri.

Everblue
06-11-2012, 03:43 PM
You want to do it as something with a nega-trait do you not? Really stupid? So as a beast of nurgle perhaps?

Alini
07-11-2012, 12:58 PM
18th please.

Screwie
07-11-2012, 01:14 PM
Guess I will pick the 17th (about as late as I can put it without interfering with general Christmas travel and plans).

potatoedoughnut
07-11-2012, 04:44 PM
I HAVE NO IDEAS! (except caps lock)

Jiiiiim
09-11-2012, 07:14 PM
Alright so far we have twelve people. Lots of good things come in twelves! Apostles, zodiac signs, packs of batteries...but you know what doesn't? ADVENT CALENDARS.

Those who have signed up so far: HEROES

Those who are umming and hawing about it: DO SO

Everyone else: SIGN UP GO GO GO

Dentharial
22-11-2012, 11:23 AM
Bumping this, because I know there's some more creative folks out there and you absolutely must be a part of this.

(Also I hope to get my main idea sorted and finished this weekend for submission, and then if necessary I can try and squeeze out another one)

Jiiiiim
22-11-2012, 05:38 PM
Yeah come on guys let's get as many days filled as possible! I shall give you a hint as to what I am planning: It involves Nuffle

Squiz
22-11-2012, 06:31 PM
My idea involves boots. Ha!

Edit: Lots of 'em!

LowKey
22-11-2012, 07:11 PM
Yeah come on guys let's get as many days filled as possible! I shall give you a hint as to what I am planning: It involves Nuffle

All the works of great men do

boots468
22-11-2012, 11:30 PM
My idea involves boots. Ha!

Nothing untoward I hope!

Squiz
23-11-2012, 12:08 PM
Nothing untoward I hope!Wait, with boots? Hehe, no worry, you won't be harmed in any (irreversible) way.

Dentharial
23-11-2012, 12:20 PM
Reversible hurting is the best kind!

Because then you can keep doing it.​

Squiz
23-11-2012, 03:48 PM
Reversible hurting is the best kind! Because then you can keep doing it.​And in the game.

LowKey
30-11-2012, 01:00 PM
Righto I am on for tomorrow and have a videya for ya, not sure to put it on rapidshare or youtube, any preferences?

Ian
30-11-2012, 01:18 PM
Disappointing that we have so many spots still open, RPS certainly has the people for this to have been full of good entries from different people.

I may be able to take a second spot off Jim's hands but I'd best get my first one sorted first.

Squiz
30-11-2012, 01:50 PM
Ok, this has become way too quiet. Everyone, wake up, there is not much time left to sign up and also come up with neat ideas for The Merry Bloody Advent (MBA)!!

As a small motivation, I'll give you a glimpse of what is going to happen on the 6th day of MBA (http://www.rockpapershotgun.com/forums/showthread.php?6859-Merry-Bloody-Advent-Booty-Extravaganza-post-your-polished-footwear&p=222484#post222484).

Screwie
30-11-2012, 01:57 PM
My thoughts, currently:

FECK I'VE ONLY GOT TWO WEEKS FECK WHY DO I HAVE NO FREE TIME FECK

groovychainsaw
30-11-2012, 03:10 PM
I'm quite glad I've got until the 22nd. I also have no free time. I may even have to stop playing games :-(. the sacrifices I'm making for Christmas...

/Rolls up sleeves.

Let's get creative!

Jiiiiim
30-11-2012, 07:15 PM
youtube, but catch me on steam

Jiiiiim
30-11-2012, 07:27 PM
I have bullied Cyberpunk into taking a day. MORE SHALL FOLLOW

Jiiiiim
01-12-2012, 11:58 AM
Weasel and Jolima swell the ranks of the Advent-urers. Heroes!

Lowkey, you may begin festivities when ready!

LowKey
01-12-2012, 12:44 PM
Alrighty, apologies in advance for the low quality, I have no skills in editing and had to take a crash course in audacity, still here you go!

For your entertainment we present a retelling of Jarr da Barrd's classic Twelve Days of Blood Bowl from his inspirational collection 'Da Best Ones', enjoy -



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SE2AkcrLDC8&feature=youtu.be

Jiiiiim
01-12-2012, 12:56 PM
Man, I was just expecting, like, an orc wearing a hat. That was awesome! Loved the little extra details on the pictures.

President Weasel
01-12-2012, 01:34 PM
Super good!

Screwie
01-12-2012, 01:40 PM
Stellar work.

potatoedoughnut
01-12-2012, 06:15 PM
Enjoyment!

Dentharial
01-12-2012, 08:54 PM
WOOOO! *wild applause*

I'd like to suggest that these get kept in a thread of their own with no comments between them, but I have no idea how we'd enforce something like that.

Jiiiiim
01-12-2012, 09:00 PM
I'm going to edit something suitable into the first post

Kapouille
01-12-2012, 10:05 PM
Right... Jiiim just caught me off balance there. I get I could take a day, but I've got a bit of a brain freeze...

Squiz
02-12-2012, 12:41 PM
Oh wow. That was awesome. Around the tenth verse I think I heard a wee hint of exhaustion in your voice but you kept going until the end, bravo!

laneford
02-12-2012, 04:05 PM
Amazing work Lowkey!

Ian
03-12-2012, 11:25 AM
Top effort, LowKey. What a voice. :)

12 Days of Blood Bowl was an idea I'd had and written out so I'm glad I didn't settle on that!

For what it's worth my lyrics would have been (I'll just do the 12th day...):

On the 12th day of Blood Bowl Nuffle gave to me....

Twelve black orcs blocking,
Eleven skaven passing,
Ten slann a-leaping,
Nine wood elves dodging,
Eight mummies shambling,
Seven halflings cooking,
Six wolves a-clawing,
FIIIIIVE GOOOOOOBLIIIIIIIIIINS.
Four chaos dwarfs,
Three treemen,
Two Amazons,
And a game-ending injury.

LowKey
03-12-2012, 12:44 PM
Hah thanks all and yes i was tiring at the end, for some reason i thought it would be easier to do it in one go which was a bit keen

Ian
03-12-2012, 02:30 PM
If I can get it done in time Jim I've decided to try and bash out one of my other ideas to fill today's gap. If I don't get it done in time I suppose I could try and nab Saturday's slot and make it an ALL-IAN ALL THE TIME WEEKEND.

ChainsawHands
03-12-2012, 03:20 PM
What the hell, sign me up for... the 5th, I guess. Or the 2nd if you don't mind me time travelling.

Ian
03-12-2012, 05:16 PM
Right, this other one isn't going to be done today. Can I have the 8th as well, Jim? (Unless you're expecting a raft of sign-ups.)

Jiiiiim
03-12-2012, 07:21 PM
Added both of you like heroes.

boots468
03-12-2012, 08:18 PM
Aargh! That's really good Lowkey. Damn you setting the bar so high!

Jiiiiim
04-12-2012, 12:10 AM
Right, tomorrow is DENTHARIAL'S MAGNUM OPUS so post taht when you are ready sir

Everybody else while you're waiting, pop back to the first post and marvel at my sheer mastery of paint. You'll note I've put myself on the Wight's crotch.

Dentharial
04-12-2012, 06:36 AM
Ladies and Gentlemen! Boys and Girls! Gather around all denizens of RPS Blood Bowl! What's behind door number 4?

Well now, it's a story of something that happened to me one Christmas eve. Come inside, and listen (http://belvane.net/music/Dentharial_AdventDay4.mp3).

Twas the night before Christmas, and all 'cross the pitch,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a lich.
Each player was nestled, all snug in their bed,
With dreams of tomorrow, and the blood to be shed.

I used the evening to check all of my plans,
But most of my chances were out of my hands.
My apo groped an elf, and is under a curse.
(To be honest, that can't really make him much worse)

My wizard is still not yet out on probation.
The ref's gone to hide at a secret location.
My cheerleaders? Just models! Made out of wood!
(Though it didn't stop the apo trying what he could)

All my players: demoralized, beaten, and sore.
They just are not able to take any more.
But while my lower region seemed caught in a vice,
From the outside came the sound of rolled dice.

Out on the touchline, I receive a surprise
For there stands a figure with bright, blood red eyes.
Wearing dark robes, and one thick, gut-stained glove,
Can be none but St. Nuffle, come down from above!

I duck into the crowd stands, and under a chair,
Trying to keep out of that baleful stare.
But I needn't have worried, he's focussed and swift,
Quickly bestowing his own brand of gift.

The balls are all greased up with fresh piglet lard,
A magical dust makes the ground extra hard.
After laying caltrops to catch the unwary,
He poisons the tools of the apothecary

Boot studs are sharpened, and helmets removed,
All of the chainsaws become extra grooved.
Just when I believe he's done with his designs,
Both of the endzones are filled with landmines.

With his plans complete to end many careers,
Nuffle ascended on a cloud of elf tears.
But I heard him exclaim, 'ere he flew out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good fight!"

Squiz
04-12-2012, 10:11 AM
Will you guys please stop to make such excellent contributions?



Thanks Dentharial, that made me smile, well done. :)

Ian
04-12-2012, 10:30 AM
That was excellent Dentharial.

And I think that is the most spectacular graphical achievement of our age, Jim.

groovychainsaw
04-12-2012, 12:26 PM
Well crikey, those are a bit good so far. (I particularly like the reference to grooved chainsaws, nicely done, Dentharial :-). I've been practising my creative writing. Everyone likes gory, viscerally described violence, right?

LowKey
04-12-2012, 03:58 PM
Excellent!

Everblue
04-12-2012, 04:21 PM
Awesome (extra characters to make 10)

Ian
04-12-2012, 05:02 PM
Saturday's entry is done. :) Best get Sunday's finished now.

ChainsawHands
04-12-2012, 05:47 PM
Great work from everyone so far, and I am definitely not planning to kill Dentharial now... ;-)

President Weasel
04-12-2012, 06:30 PM
God damn it to hell, I was most of the way through "Twas the night before Blood Bowl"

(and all through the Haven, not a creature was stirring, not even a Skaven).

Poo bums.

Screwie
04-12-2012, 06:52 PM
God damn it to hell, I was most of the way through "Twas the night before Blood Bowl"

This kind of thing is exactly what I'm dreading. I fear I'm not nearly original enough for this sort of thing.

(Still, great stuff Dentharial!)

Dentharial
04-12-2012, 07:45 PM
God damn it to hell, I was most of the way through "Twas the night before Blood Bowl"

(and all through the Haven, not a creature was stirring, not even a Skaven).

Poo bums.

I figured it might well happen, since we're all going to be mining the same traditions. I think you should go ahead and post yours anyway, and then we can battle it out with a freestyle Blood Bowl rap battle at the next live draw after that.


Well crikey, those are a bit good so far. (I particularly like the reference to grooved chainsaws, nicely done, Dentharial :-).

That particular line was a real product of luck. I was struggling to find something else to go there, and was trying to settle for one of several not-so-good options (for example, "Boot studs were sharpened and armour destroyed/The halftime refreshments seasoned with steroid" or "Boot studs were sharpened and armour attacked/With a click of his fingers, the ref's spectacles cracked").

Eventually I just ended up going to rhymezone and listing out random words that you could do to armour and helmets. When 'removed' turned up 'grooved' as a rhyme, I felt the opportunity to do an in-joke was too good to ignore, even though 'helmets removed' still seems a little weak to me.

LowKey
04-12-2012, 07:56 PM
God damn it to hell, I was most of the way through "Twas the night before Blood Bowl"

(and all through the Haven, not a creature was stirring, not even a Skaven).

Poo bums.

That's why I went first!

laneford
05-12-2012, 12:21 AM
Good work Dentharial! Brilliant stuff.

ChainsawHands
05-12-2012, 11:40 AM
Rather unfortunate timing on this, but it was already finished by the time Dentharial posted, so I'm just going ahead with it. Also mine's bigger. ;-) (Holy balls the original (http://www.carols.org.uk/twas_the_night_before_christmas.htm)had a lot of verses, but I felt I had to match them.)

The Game Before Christmas

‘Twas the game before Christmas, and all over the pitch
Not a creature was stirring, except Nuffle (that bitch)
The weather was rolled and, with seasonal cheer
Both dice came up sixes - a blizzard appeared!

The players positioned, each to his own square
With three at the front (no one wants to go there)
Troll in the middle, stood facing an ent
(Legally “treeman”, but we know what they meant).

An orc kicked the ball, through the air it did soar
“Dey’ll prob’ly catch it, stoopid agility four”
But all was not well for the pointy-eared gits
Can it be? Praise Nuffle, it is, it’s a blitz!

The ball’s spiky shadow on new-fallen snow
A signpost to show da boyz which way to go
But standing in quite the most awkwardest place
A bloody wardancer! “Quick boyz, punch ‘er face!”

They started their drive now, so lively and quick
(If, for speed comparison, some dwarfs you pick)
Orcs doing their best to be speedy, not lame
Their coach whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Now black orc! now lineman! now sure-handed thrower!
Troll's in a tackle zone: on, goblin and blitzer!
To the top of the pitch! - not forgetting the ball -
And injure those stupid elfs, injure them all!”

As fast as a halfling when dinner is seen
They poured up the pitch in a river of green
For greenskins they all seemed remarkably fleet
(The blitzer had picked up both sprint and sure feet).

And then, in a twinkling, success was annulled
The block on the wardancer was double skulled!
The crowd held their breath, was the match turned around?
As onto the pitch Nuffle he came with a bound.

He scattered dice round him, on pitch and on stand
And they’d each roll a one, wherever they’d land
A bundle of dead players strung on his back
(Three elfs and six skaven, for those keeping track).

His snake-eyes they twinkled! A sight far from merry!
Did the greenskins look scared? They didn’t (not very)!
For the odds of their failure they’d greatly reduced
By means of a reroll they’d smartly induced.

The coach clutched the dice, carved from kroxigor teef
To roll two more skulls would be beyond belief
He shook them about, cast the dice on the ground -
And “in your face Nuffle - it’s defender down!”

And then with a crunching the wardancer’s face
Was punched in, her teeth flew all over the place
The goblin, to make sure that she was kaput,
Then fouled her to death with a sneaky wee boot.

Nuffle spoke not a word, but faded from sight
Though he often was felt for the rest of the night
As elfs failed to dodge, orcs to pick up the ball
By halftime the score still stood at nill-all.

In the end, neither team felt the match was a dud -
The elfs won in touchdowns, the orcs won in blood
And those left alive heard Nuffle exclaim:
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good game!”

Ian
05-12-2012, 03:48 PM
I liked it a lot, 'Hands. It didn't suffer for there having already been a Night Before Christmas thing. :)

Pleased that nothing like my two have been done yet. Still two days for Squirrel and Laneford to change that of course.

groovychainsaw
05-12-2012, 04:06 PM
Great work chainsawhands too :-), as Ian said, not diminished by being in a familiar form at all.

Dentharial
05-12-2012, 05:06 PM
One of my favourite types of music to listen to is remixes and rearrangements, just because I love hearing how people put different spins on things. Also, for years now, I've been rewriting lyrics to songs for various communities I was a part of, because I enjoy seeing how to twist jokes in and hide double meanings.

What I'm getting at is that I don't by any means feel any sense of competition or crowding with people doing the same thing.

Actually I really like seeing other people handle the same poem that I did, and seeing how differently it came out. In the 2 examples we have so far, I like how we took different perspectives. For me, it was very much an 'In-character' meeting with Nuffle. For 'hands, it was much more on the game mechanics side, and Nuffle as a fickle dice tweaker.

I can't wait to see what anybody else comes up with too.

ChainsawHands
05-12-2012, 05:25 PM
Yeah, I felt it was different enough that I'd be fine just going with it. I got the opening rhyme and went from there, and I was pretty pleased when I realised I could fit the players into the "Donner and Blitzen" bit.

Dentharial
05-12-2012, 06:44 PM
Yeah! I spent a while agonizing over not including that, since it's one of the iconic moments. I'm glad to see it was put into your version.

Ian
06-12-2012, 11:10 AM
Jim, you shambles of a man. You've not even used your mad graphix skillz to update the calendar picture yet.

Ian
06-12-2012, 01:14 PM
I can't check until later what's in it but assuming the PM is your advent thing that's ace, squirrel.

Kapouille
06-12-2012, 04:03 PM
Oh wow... I just caught up on this thread... Just wow on the contributions!
Now... Dare I say I would take the 15th, Jiiiiiiim? Given the quality of what's been posted until now, mine will look like a cheap Christmas cracker :P

Ian
06-12-2012, 05:45 PM
No love for squirrel? Monsters.

Screwie
06-12-2012, 05:47 PM
Wait, what?

Oooohh, PM. Okay hang on.

Everblue
06-12-2012, 05:50 PM
Can't look at it at work! Excited for when I get home...

Squiz
06-12-2012, 05:55 PM
About that. I hope the whole thing made a bit sense in the end. I already explained to a few people via PM what the original idea behind my contribution was. Since today is St. Ni...Nuffle'Clause day, I figured it would be fun to gather pictures of your "boots" so that Nuffle'Clause could leave something in them for you.

It was after the first few replies in the thread I made (http://www.rockpapershotgun.com/forums/showthread.php?6859-Merry-Bloody-Advent-Booty-Extravaganza-post-your-polished-footwear) that I realised that some/many of you might be stressed out enough as it is and that asking you to reply to some weird request was a bit much. Sorry that the idea tanked. I hope you enjoy today's contribution nevertheless.

By the way, if anyone doesn't have a use for the content his "note", please get in touch with me and I'll see what I can do to change that.

ChainsawHands
06-12-2012, 05:55 PM
Yeah, squirrel's pretty awesome too.

Screwie
06-12-2012, 06:01 PM
By the way, if anyone doesn't have a use for the content his "note", please get in touch with me and I'll see what I can do to change that.

Haha, I was trying to decipher the code like it was some kind of ARG. So it's a Steam code? I will try it later, I guess!

mrpier
06-12-2012, 06:07 PM
Many thanks NuffleClause, maybe you're not such a cold hearted capricious bastard after all!

And thanks to his messenger SquirrelFanatic too :-)

President Weasel
06-12-2012, 06:33 PM
Ohhhh, that was what the boot thing was for?
I didn't connect the two at all - but I did get a present and was very chuffed at a random act of kindness. That was a really clever advent thing squirrel - it went right over my head, in fact.

Jiiiiim
06-12-2012, 06:39 PM
Kapouille you're in!

Thanks squirrel for my thing!

Ian I HAVE SO MANY REPORTS TO WRITE.

Kapouille
06-12-2012, 06:41 PM
Don't worry guys, you're not the only ones not to have got what it was.... Squirrel, my computer is steam powered indeed, and you are awesome :)

Jiiiiim
06-12-2012, 07:00 PM
Okay updated the page 1 image with addded Kapouille. Anyone else wants to take a date, feel free, there's a few left.

Probably no more "night before christmasses" though

potatoedoughnut
06-12-2012, 07:17 PM
Thanks SF! I thought the thread was a cool idea. It might have worked better later in the month when people weren't as scramblly.

LowKey
06-12-2012, 07:29 PM
I thought it was great, especially the part where I got a gift (although I was expecting something horrid from nuffle)!

Alini
06-12-2012, 10:38 PM
Oooohh... ye actual presents! Thank you so much!

Great job so far guys, lovin' this :D
And I absolutely don't mind variations on a theme so don't think anyone should be put off their idea just because someone else has tried their hand at it as well.

laneford
06-12-2012, 10:53 PM
He came, nuffleclause really came! I'm so excited!

​Squirrel you are a legend.

Ian
06-12-2012, 10:55 PM
I don't have that, squirrel, you hero of a man.

Screwie
06-12-2012, 11:52 PM
Superb, I added this game to my wishlist just a couple of days ago. Thanks SF, you gentleman.

laneford
07-12-2012, 01:08 AM
Merry bloody advent!

What is christmas, without hideous feasting? But what of all the cooking. The slaving away at the stove. The washing up.

Thank god for Jamie Olihalfling, and his EXTRA SPECIAL CHRISTMAS MENU!

Let Jamie take the strain this advent!

http://i.imgur.com/TmKv5.png?1 (http://i.imgur.com/QBhPV.png)

http://i.imgur.com/TmKv5.png?1

President Weasel
07-12-2012, 01:47 AM
So good!
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v286/chompmancobra/sealofapproval.jpg

potatoedoughnut
07-12-2012, 06:02 AM
I love it. Om nom nom

Squiz
07-12-2012, 07:39 AM
No way! Fantastic ideas there. Sidesteps on the Beach for me until I see pink Kroxigors.

groovychainsaw
07-12-2012, 10:20 AM
All greatness, big thanks to Squirrel for his nuffling generosity and excellent menu work laneford!! It all sounds so good, I wouldn't know what to have!

Ian
07-12-2012, 10:37 AM
Brilliant, Laneford. I think the goblin starter was the one I chuckled at most. All the desserts were pretty good too.

I'm feeling the pressure now. The standard of these has been rather high.... :(

mrpier
07-12-2012, 10:38 AM
I'll have the amazonian blodge taquitos please, and to drink I'll have the Vampire Pale Ale (which to my delight, but not surprise is a real beer).

Screwie
07-12-2012, 10:50 AM
Fantastic stuff laneford :D

Kapouille
07-12-2012, 11:05 AM
Haha, brilliant Xmas menu :)

Dentharial
07-12-2012, 02:24 PM
Someone that has more skill at cooking than me should take some of these items, create real examples, and post pictures for one of the still-empty days to come.

LowKey
07-12-2012, 06:00 PM
I'll have the Vampire Pale Ale (which to my delight, but not surprise is a real beer).

Yuuuummmmy

cyberpunkdreams
07-12-2012, 09:04 PM
Awesome! Surely someone can invent a real recipe for Sidesteps on the Beach? It'd be an instant winner.

Ian
08-12-2012, 02:36 PM
The Night Before Christmas: An Extremely Low-Rent, Blood Bowl-Themed "Choose Your Own Disaster" Story (https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ngNpEBy8WlHYglUsghaEKkB-6UoVn4YZf0UIk606EbU/edit)

Notes:
- Done in Google docs but it should be set up so that you don't need to be logged in to Google docs to use it.
- There are different endings if you can be bothered going back and choosing different options once you've "played" it once.

Jolima
08-12-2012, 05:30 PM
Another great entry! I really need to start getting my own idea put together.

LowKey
08-12-2012, 06:11 PM
Yes very clever! Looney for life yo

potatoedoughnut
08-12-2012, 08:52 PM
Awesomes!!

Edit: finished all the endings. I like the one where the ball and chain falls on you best.

ChainsawHands
09-12-2012, 12:33 AM
Bravo, Ian.

Ian
09-12-2012, 01:01 AM
Ian's Weekend Advent Extravaganza Part 2! Hard as it is to believe, I created all this myself with only MS Paint!

http://i1101.photobucket.com/albums/g430/ianwelby/advent1.jpg
http://i1101.photobucket.com/albums/g430/ianwelby/advent2.jpg
http://i1101.photobucket.com/albums/g430/ianwelby/advent3.jpg
http://i1101.photobucket.com/albums/g430/ianwelby/advent4.jpg

Ian
09-12-2012, 01:02 AM
(Seperate post because of STUPID RPS FORUM RULES)

http://i1101.photobucket.com/albums/g430/ianwelby/advent5.jpg
http://i1101.photobucket.com/albums/g430/ianwelby/advent6.jpg

Jiiiiim
09-12-2012, 01:29 AM
that is the best fireplace I've ever seen rendered in microsoft paint

Ian
09-12-2012, 01:59 AM
There's an accolade to put on my headstone.

Jiiiiim
09-12-2012, 10:52 AM
First post updated again, by the way. There's a couple gaps coming up on Tuesday and Thursday so if anyone wants to jump in, feel free. But so far, amazin' work everybody.

laneford
09-12-2012, 11:33 AM
Sterling work Ian! I feel the Orc needs a little "+2 spp" floating above his head.

Ian
09-12-2012, 01:36 PM
He maintains that the elf failed a dodge and ended up there by accident.

cyberpunkdreams
09-12-2012, 05:34 PM
All these entries are far too good; I throw in the towel!

(Not really... I'll post my offering in the early hours of the morning.)

Kapouille
09-12-2012, 09:17 PM
Another very good application, I've got to roll up my sleeves!

cyberpunkdreams
10-12-2012, 03:32 AM
So, what do you want for Christmas?
A Blood Bowl story by Cyberpunkdreams




“So, what do you want for Christmas?” Macareth heard Rufus ask as she limped into the changing room on her weirwood crutches.
“Don’t be stupid,” replied Dindia. “Christmas is for coaches... just another one of their stupid superstitions.”
“Yeah, I’ll drink to that,” added his buddy Ethiltor. “I’ll settle for a touchdown and MVP today though.”
Bruce laughed. “With that ankle of yours, you’d be lucky even to get into their half!”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah...”
Naellara, the teams star scorer, was admonishing today’s journeyman about how to throw the ball to him. “I want it coming in like this,” he gestured, “Not bombing in at my head. It’s not like you’re going to get a look at the ball anyway, but if you do...”
“Hey, what makes you think you’re going to get a look at the ball either?” sniped Sornda, the team’s rookie catcher. “Maybe the coach isn’t going to let you and your bloated ego hog the ball for once, eh?”
Naellara snapped up the bait, like he always did, puffing up going chest to chest with Sornda. “You little twerp, I’ve been with this team since the beginning...”
“So have I,” murmured Vicelin. “Now simmer down you two. And leave the merc alone.” She didn’t even have to raise her voice, let alone stand up, and the two catchers backed off. Vicelen was the team’s key player maker, and everyone knew it. And everyone knew what she’d done to that human lineman in their last match. “Groin strain” was a convenient euphemism for the score card. Naellara winced just thinking about it.
Macareth winked at Vicelen. “How can you breathe in here?” she stage-whispered. “All this testosterone...”
Vicelen just smiled. “How’s the leg?”
“Oh, it’s doing okay. Should be fine for the next match. I’m just sorry I can’t join you out there today. I hate been stuck in here.”
“Yeah, it sucks, not even being allowed in the dugout...”
“Yeah... so what do you want for Christmas, anyway.”
“Oh, I dunno,” Vicelen shrugged. “A break from all this perhaps?”
“I know how you feel... still, last match before Christmas right, so we’ll have a bit of a break then. I know you though, you’ll go stir crazy after a couple of weeks.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know.” Vicelen stood up and clapped her hands. “Come on guys, showtime! Let’s go!”
Vicelen and Macareth hugged quickly as the team trooped out into the light. “You be careful out there,” Macareth whispered.
“Don’t worry, I will.”


*


“Christ, hard to believe we’re only halfway through this thing,” Rufus groaned. He was lying on his back, having his calf muscles worked over. “We’re getting pummelled out there.”
“Yeah, but we’re going to win,” said Sornda. “One up at halftime and receiving the kick-off...”
“Win?” raged Naellara. “Fucking win? How are we supposed to fucking win when the only guy who knows how to throw the fucking ball has his fucking hand wrapped up in fucking ten inches of bandages? Are you going to fucking pass to me?”
Macareth looked over at Vicelen. She recognised the expression on the wardancer’s face straight away. It said don’t go there. Tense. Vicelen was tense, and that was never a good sign.
Bruce, the team’s only thrower, had his hand stamped on after taking a bad block near the halfway line. The ref was looking the other way, needless to say. It would recover fine, but he was out for the match. Vicelen had dived through the gap and freed up the ball before running it in, but it wasn’t the only injury so far. The second half was going to be tough.


*


Macareth sat in the changing room, waiting for the match to end, her gorge in her throat. She’d heard the crowd roar in that particular way that always meant blood. Lots of blood. Who was is going to be this time?
She heard the whistle go, and her teammates finally trooped in, bloodied and broken, defeat all over their faces. Ten of them. Not eleven. Ten. Rufus was the last in, limping heavily on his bad ankle.
“Rufus?” Macareth asked. “Rufus, where’s Vicelen? Where’s...”
“I’m so sorry... I’m so...” Macareth looked down. He wasn’t holding his own helmet, he was holding a wardancer’s helmet. Vicelen’s helmet.
Macareth’s knees went; she dropped to the floor with a painful thud. Her eyes didn’t seem to want to focus. Somehow she was holding the helmet. It was badly dented and splattered with blood and grey matter. Tooth marks from the apothecary's saw marched across it.
“She’s...? She’s...?” Dead. The word wouldn’t come out.
Rufus took a deep breath, tears pricking his eyes. “I don’t know what to say... we all loved her...”
“How...?”
“She... it was tight, she got, she got pushed into the crowd... this guy with a rock...” Rufus shrugged, tears running down his face now. “Such a... the apothecary tried to save her, but... but... “ His voice trailed off. “If it’s any consolation, the coach is finding out where the guy lives...”
Macareth didn’t really hear. The outside world was at the end of a long tunnel. She didn’t hear the merc saying, “Hey, at least we won.” She didn’t hear Oakleaf’s fist connecting with his jaw. She didn’t hear Naellara weeping quietly in the corner.
She looked down at her sister’s bloodied, broken helmet. “So,” she whispered, “what do you want for Christmas?”

Ian
10-12-2012, 10:36 AM
Good stuff. Elven misery is always a winner. :)

Kapouille
10-12-2012, 12:07 PM
That's sad, but then that's all that elves deserve.

Dentharial
10-12-2012, 01:01 PM
I have been enormously enjoying every day of this. I did indeed go back through Ian's first day and play through multiple times. And cyber, your contribution is just...dark.

There's a bit of me that saw it coming, and was waiting for the punchline and was then just thinking, "Oh. ...Oh dear."

cyberpunkdreams
10-12-2012, 02:35 PM
And cyber, your contribution is just...dark.

Well, I thought we needed something to spice it up a little ;).

cyberpunkdreams
11-12-2012, 12:27 AM
Well, thanks to the guys who commented, but I guess that was a bit of a damp squib, sorry... I guess I should have stuck with Paint after all ;)

Web Cole
11-12-2012, 01:18 AM
This thread is turribly awesome.

Squiz
11-12-2012, 09:07 AM
Nice one cyber, if maybe a bit... coldhearted for this time of year. :)

LowKey
11-12-2012, 09:30 AM
Thoroughly bloodbowly though, good job!

Ian
11-12-2012, 05:34 PM
You'd better have something good for us tomorrow, Boots. I'm eager for more after a day of no advent goodness. :)

ChainsawHands
11-12-2012, 05:51 PM
Not at all cyber, nice to see a story with a happy ending (ie a dead elf). :-)

cyberpunkdreams
11-12-2012, 07:46 PM
Not at all cyber, nice to see a story with a happy ending (ie a dead elf). :-)

You guys are all heartless! Heartless I say!

boots468
11-12-2012, 08:16 PM
You'd better have something good for us tomorrow, Boots. I'm eager for more after a day of no advent goodness. :)

Argh! Pressure!

Real life has interfered with my more ambitious plans, but I'm planning something fair to middling. Possibly even passable. Potentially even respectable. Aiming high!

Jiiiiim
11-12-2012, 08:17 PM
If an extra day off would make a massive difference, you could shift to the 13th which is (I think) the last empty day.

boots468
11-12-2012, 08:37 PM
Every Who
Down in Who-ville
Liked Christmas a lot...

But the Flesh Golem,
Who lived just north of Who-ville,
Did NOT!

2301

The victim of an Ogre’s assault,
He had been raised with a serious fault,
Perhaps it was a lazy Necromancer,
We’ll never know the answer,
But happiness did him appall,
For his heart was at least two sizes too small.

2300


One day the town gave a great cry,
So happy they sounded he had to spy,
Upon seeing what it was he became enraged,
For the town had blodgey elfs encaged!
That night the festivities were so loud,
Their unhappiness he vowed.


2302

‘I know what to do’ he laughed,
As he pictured their faces all smashed,
He found himself a large sack,
And hoisted it upon his back,
And climbed down to the town,
Determined to make them frown.

2303


The werewolves were safe in bed,
And the zombies easily misled,
He found the elfs and began the theft,
But was a bit too loud as he left,
He was then chased by a wight on patrol,
But got away when it failed its GFI roll.

2304


...

boots468
12-12-2012, 08:54 AM
...

During all the noise and commotion,
A baby ghoul was overcome with emotion,
Which gave the golem pause,
As a dislike of crying was one of his flaws.
Rather than fastly depart,
Some comfort he tried to impart.

2305



No one knows what then occurred,
But something in the Golem’s heart stirred,
So he gave the captives back to the town folk,
Who all thought was just a joke,
And the very next day all together they did celebrate,
And every Elf’s shin bones did bifurcate!

2306









-- Note - No idea why the ghoul pcture has ben chopped up, I'll try and sort it tonight after work :-)

Squiz
12-12-2012, 09:05 AM
Thanks boots, that's lovely. I like how the face of the protagonist only changes ever so slightly. :)

LowKey
12-12-2012, 09:38 AM
Haha that was great!

Ian
12-12-2012, 10:30 AM
Excellent. :D

Everblue
12-12-2012, 11:12 AM
Lovely, Boots

Kapouille
12-12-2012, 09:48 PM
Guys, I'm sorry to have the first (and hopefully only) to be defecting... I'm roughly10% of where I need to be and struggling to get there. Having to learn new software, my graphic tablet is also playing up (damn you Wacom drivers!). That'd take me full time days to finish it!!

Sorry :(

cyberpunkdreams
12-12-2012, 10:03 PM
Guys, I'm sorry to have the first (and hopefully only) to be defecting... I'm roughly10% of where I need to be and struggling to get there. Having to learn new software, my graphic tablet is also playing up (damn you Wacom drivers!). That'd take me full time days to finish it!!

Sorry :(

Have this man taken out and shot.

Kapouille
12-12-2012, 10:05 PM
Have this man taken out and shot.

Believe me, I have had my fair share of suffering.
Now that I think of it, it would be a relief.

cyberpunkdreams
12-12-2012, 10:08 PM
Believe me, I have had my fair share of suffering.
Now that I think of it, it would be a relief.

I was kidding, of course... life has a habit of getting in the way of best laid plans. It's actually a quote from Catch 22 I believe, although the usage has become rather ubiquitous.

Kapouille
12-12-2012, 10:09 PM
I was kidding, of course... life has a habit of getting in the way of best laid plans. It's actually a quote from Catch 22 I believe, although the usage has become rather ubiquitous.

I knew I had seen that earlier... I don't really watch animated things on screens that don't require my input, so pardon my ignorance :)

President Weasel
13-12-2012, 12:29 AM
About that. I hope the whole thing made a bit sense in the end. I already explained to a few people via PM what the original idea behind my contribution was. Since today is St. Ni...Nuffle'Clause day, I figured it would be fun to gather pictures of your "boots" so that Nuffle'Clause could leave something in them for you.

It was after the first few replies in the thread I made (http://www.rockpapershotgun.com/forums/showthread.php?6859-Merry-Bloody-Advent-Booty-Extravaganza-post-your-polished-footwear) that I realised that some/many of you might be stressed out enough as it is and that asking you to reply to some weird request was a bit much. Sorry that the idea tanked. I hope you enjoy today's contribution nevertheless.

By the way, if anyone doesn't have a use for the content his "note", please get in touch with me and I'll see what I can do to change that.

Squirrel, I have been playing with my present today, and it is awesome and so are you.

Also, boots, well done. Good story, and MS paint illustrations always make things better.

Gorm
13-12-2012, 12:55 AM
Just looking back at this thread. AWESOME VIDEO LOWKEY.

Jiiiiim
13-12-2012, 05:16 PM
No worries Kapouille! I'd be interested in what you were planning and how far you got if you just want to put that up though

Right, at the end of the week we begin the STRAIGHT RUN of GLORIOUS ENTRIES from everyone. KEEP THAT BLOODBOWL TRAIN ROLLIN'

LowKey
13-12-2012, 06:54 PM
DESTINATION GLORYous death!

Kapouille
13-12-2012, 11:26 PM
No worries Kapouille! I'd be interested in what you were planning and how far you got if you just want to put that up though

I wanted to do a paper doll animation... I have the paper doll cutouts, but the animation programme I tried to use was a b1tch. I spent 6 hours getting started...

I think I'll be ready for next year, I will probably have more characters :)

President Weasel
13-12-2012, 11:53 PM
I have done a spoken word rendition of an obscure, but seasonally appropriate, poem I found on an internet:

http://www.mediafire.com/?hj23sbcag1ojf68

With apologies to the author - and my sincerest apologies to everyone else listening.

cyberpunkdreams
14-12-2012, 01:22 AM
I have done a spoken word rendition of an obscure, but seasonally appropriate, poem I found on an internet:

http://www.mediafire.com/?hj23sbcag1ojf68

With apologies to the author - and my sincerest apologies to everyone else listening.

Excellent! Apart from the dead wardancer.

Ian
14-12-2012, 11:04 AM
Nice reading. Wherever did you find such an obscure piece of art? ;D

laneford
15-12-2012, 01:32 AM
That was lovely weasel. Very very nice.

I am slightly disconcerted by how Northern you all are however....

cyberpunkdreams
15-12-2012, 01:41 AM
That was lovely weasel. Very very nice.

I am slightly disconcerted by how Northern you all are however....

It's always slightly weird hearing or seeing people you only know online. Personally, I'm slightly concerned that Weasel doesn't sound like Robert Mitchum. Next we'll discover that he doesn't look like Robert Mitchum. Or even that he isn't Robert Mitchum. Imagine the shock!

ChainsawHands
15-12-2012, 11:03 AM
I have done a spoken word rendition of an obscure, but seasonally appropriate, poem I found on an internet:

http://www.mediafire.com/?hj23sbcag1ojf68

With apologies to the author - and my sincerest apologies to everyone else listening.That was beautiful, man.

President Weasel
15-12-2012, 09:35 PM
thanks! (10 chars grumble mutter)

Jolima
16-12-2012, 11:00 AM
Clicky! (https://script.google.com/macros/s/AKfycbzsYSlGuYXo9mE8QzvA7ZJ6MZtIWlqwMd5g67QB6BhqJa MLcoU/exec)

Edit: For me, it seems like the link doesn't work, and reloading doesn't help, but if you press enter in the address bar it starts working again...

I didn't manage to spend much time on it, but if there's interest it might grow.

Thanks for all of the games and reports over the year everyone.

President Weasel
16-12-2012, 11:14 AM
There's a script to run, which google docs is asking me to authorise - also it tells me your real name, or at least the convincingly Swedish-sounding name you used for your gmail address. Are you cool with people knowing that?

Oh hey, I like this! It's a score-keeping app thing!

Screwie
16-12-2012, 11:24 AM
Very nice Jolima!

(Although, I think the column headings are the wrong way round - it's labelled W/L/D when the values in the columns are in the order of W/D/L...)

Jiiiiim
16-12-2012, 12:25 PM
Updated the first post!

Continuing sterling effort, chaps! Weasel you brought fear and joy into a poem somehow! Cyber you scared the hell out of me! Jolima you have skillz!

Jiiiiim
16-12-2012, 12:58 PM
The thing I always wanted to see was an all-time table for the divisions. I mean I could do it by hand, but god effort.

Jolima
16-12-2012, 01:38 PM
I didn't want to hijack the thread, so I created a new post for it (http://www.rockpapershotgun.com/forums/showthread.php?7426-RPS-BloodBowl-Webapp).

laneford
16-12-2012, 03:38 PM
That is seriously cool.

Jolima
16-12-2012, 06:21 PM
The thing I always wanted to see was an all-time table for the divisions. I mean I could do it by hand, but god effort.

Here you go then, a late extra calendar entry: Spreadsheet (https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0AuX1tdfDALOYdGRENnNaWjNwU2ZYY1pXUGNJejdtN FE).

There's a lot of trash data in those historical sheets though.

boots468
16-12-2012, 06:24 PM
Ooh, fancy! And very nicely done Pres Weasel too!

laneford
16-12-2012, 09:34 PM
Nice! I see I have an exactly even W/L record. (23/11/23)

LowKey
16-12-2012, 11:55 PM
Excellent both of you, underworld bossing the team stats.

Screwie
17-12-2012, 10:58 PM
Here is my modest effort. Enjoy! Or not!
http://i214.photobucket.com/albums/cc82/spuffpuppy/Blood%20Bowl/crackers-1.png


EDIT: Hah, now I notice a typo. Fixed.

Squiz
17-12-2012, 11:01 PM
;D Excellent work Screwie, thanks for the laughs.

LowKey
17-12-2012, 11:02 PM
YES! Loved it

cyberpunkdreams
17-12-2012, 11:21 PM
Here is my modest effort. Enjoy! Or not!






Nice... :)

President Weasel
18-12-2012, 12:19 AM
Good work! The little, what do you call those pieces of paper you get the jokes on? things were an excellent touch.

potatoedoughnut
18-12-2012, 03:58 AM
The skink with no eyes was my favourite.

Ian
18-12-2012, 10:48 AM
Absolutely superb, Screwie. One of my favourites so far.

Though I can't work out #7 and can't help but feel I'm probably being stupid.

Screwie
18-12-2012, 11:01 AM
Thanks very much all!

As for #7, at the risk of over-explaining the joke:

"A wight" = "all right"(sort of), and undead teams recruit zombies and skeletons but not wights!

Yep, it's a CRP-valid joke...

(Hidden text above)

ChainsawHands
18-12-2012, 11:39 AM
Those were terrible. Excellent work. :-)

Ian
18-12-2012, 01:42 PM
Ahh, okay.

I think the ghoulfriend one might have been my favourite.

Alini
18-12-2012, 10:22 PM
So, posting all the links at once is a problem. Maybe if I try a few at a time?
Edit - Ok, I can embed images too...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v166/kittycat8/BB%20Advent%202012/01-Start_zps1cd42986.png

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v166/kittycat8/BB%20Advent%202012/02_zps2cb0b817.png

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v166/kittycat8/BB%20Advent%202012/03_zps458fff17.png

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v166/kittycat8/BB%20Advent%202012/04_zpsc4348ceb.png

Alini
18-12-2012, 10:25 PM
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v166/kittycat8/BB%20Advent%202012/05_zps98f20242.png

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v166/kittycat8/BB%20Advent%202012/06_zpse012b20a.png

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v166/kittycat8/BB%20Advent%202012/07_zps567f34d5.png

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v166/kittycat8/BB%20Advent%202012/08_zpse3348052.png

Alini
18-12-2012, 10:26 PM
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v166/kittycat8/BB%20Advent%202012/09_zpsbd6af08e.png

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v166/kittycat8/BB%20Advent%202012/10_zps67e096df.png

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v166/kittycat8/BB%20Advent%202012/11_zps40a2b6f5.png

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v166/kittycat8/BB%20Advent%202012/12_zpsd9ffe2a9.png

Alini
18-12-2012, 10:27 PM
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v166/kittycat8/BB%20Advent%202012/13_zps05b1100b.png

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v166/kittycat8/BB%20Advent%202012/14_zps1b91fe89.png

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v166/kittycat8/BB%20Advent%202012/15_zpseab0d5bb.png

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v166/kittycat8/BB%20Advent%202012/16_zps487f84c8.png

Alini
18-12-2012, 11:03 PM
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v166/kittycat8/BB%20Advent%202012/17-End_zps61ae72de.png

Screwie
19-12-2012, 12:18 AM
Fantastic! :D

Jiiiiim
19-12-2012, 12:20 AM
Nice one Alini! Lizard v Spiderdwarf!

Alright I'm going for it

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, sit yourselves down and revel in my attempts to duet...with MYSELF.

The speech bubbles are a bit shit but FUCK YOUUUU


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P73Xl8JoL1Y

President Weasel
19-12-2012, 12:33 AM
it must be hard to be Jiim, because people expect such acts of awesomeness almost as a matter of course. But still: excellent. Huzzah!

Ian
19-12-2012, 01:17 AM
Top effort, Jim. That orc violinist looks like he needs a nice MS Paint fire to play next to.

Gorm
19-12-2012, 08:42 AM
Jiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiim

Ian
19-12-2012, 10:42 AM
Also meant to say Alini's was very good too. :)

My mind had been blown by Jim's angelic singing voice.

Screwie
19-12-2012, 11:29 AM
Jiiim's lyrics are rather brilliant.

Gorm
19-12-2012, 12:30 PM
That maths teacher can spit some rhymes.

potatoedoughnut
19-12-2012, 04:45 PM
And here's a spruce. Tree.

potatoedoughnut
20-12-2012, 05:28 PM
Hey it's the 20th already! So instead of doing something lovely and creative, I've done something boring and statistical (cheers Jolima!).

I've compiled some DoD history for Seasons 4-23 (season 1-3 being largely lost to time and season 24 currently running).

First up, race statistics!



Race

Played
Win
Draw
Loss
Win%
Draw%
Loss%


UW

6
5
1
0
0.833
0.167
0.000


Elf
120
54
28
38
0.450
0.233
0.317


Liz
212
94
45
73
0.443
0.212
0.344


DElf
189
82
49
58
0.434
0.259
0.307


Nor
122
52
25
45
0.426
0.205
0.369


Ska
216
88
48
80
0.407
0.222
0.370


HElf
150
61
33
56
0.407
0.220
0.373


Khe
141
57
35
49
0.404
0.248
0.348


WElf
186
75
41
70
0.403
0.220
0.376


Nec
222
88
62
72
0.396
0.279
0.324


Nur
185
73
36
76
0.395
0.195
0.411


Orc
234
92
69
73
0.393
0.295
0.312


Und
152
59
26
67
0.388
0.171
0.441


Vam
83
32
16
35
0.386
0.193
0.422


Dwa
165
58
49
58
0.352
0.297
0.352


CDwa

3
1
2
0
0.333
0.667
0.000


Hum
177
57
44
76
0.322
0.249
0.429


Cha
233
74
68
91
0.318
0.292
0.391


Ama
108
34
28
46
0.315
0.259
0.426


Ogr
36
9
6
21
0.250
0.167
0.583


Hal
54
12
11
31
0.222
0.204
0.574


Gob
78
14
15
49
0.179
0.192
0.628



Ignore UW and CDwa as they only have 6 and 3 games played respectively.

So Elf, Lizard and DElf have been the winningest and Ama, Cha, and Hum have been the losingest (non-teir 3, though beaten my Vam thanks in large part to Jolima) teams. Also Dwa, Orc, and Cha have been the drawingest, which I guess isn't too surprising since they are fairly slow.

The most popular teams have been: Orc (234 played), Cha (233), Nec (222), Ska (216), and Liz (212).

Now for some interesting coach bits.

The most prolific coaches are: CH, drawlien, GC, karandraz, mrpier & PW; each having played in all 10 on the seasons surveyed.

In total we've had 151 Coaches in the DoD between season 4-23 (23 have only played 1 season). Our biggest season was Season 18 with 68 coaches.

The winningest (by win% with at least 10 games played, sorry newbies):


Coach

Played
Win%


Corkir
12
0.917


El Cubo
18
0.778


wink5000
18
0.722


Janek
24
0.625


DarkFenix
36
0.611



The drawingest


Coach

Played
Draw%


Arnisarus
12
0.667


Ian
15
0.467


potatoedoughnut
42
0.452


DeekyFun
18
0.444


WhiskeyTangoFox
12
0.417



And the not-losingest (lowest loss%)


Coach

Played
Loss%


Arnisarus
12
0.000


Corkir
12
0.000


El Cubo
18
0.056


Jiiiiim
45
0.133


potatoedoughnut
42
0.167




You can view the full spreadsheet and extract some more interestingness here: DoD_History.xlsx (https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B5CdXUaeB5p7dVFJcmZ4d0tybGs)

I couldn't properly convert it to google docs format so you'll have to download it to sort the different tables. You can look at the results as is (coaches sorted by name and races by win%) on the google docs.

Feel free to post anything you find interesting (if you're into that kind of thing).

edit: Oh also Merry Christmas and all that :)

Ian
20-12-2012, 05:41 PM
Welll... at least I'm good at something. :-/

mrpier
20-12-2012, 06:17 PM
This is pretty sweet.

cyberpunkdreams
20-12-2012, 06:28 PM
Awesome. You just need to stick a Santa hat on top of the charts ;).

I really liked Alini's deathroiller too.

Gorm
20-12-2012, 07:01 PM
Ouch i've lost 50% of my games

Screwie
20-12-2012, 09:41 PM
Haha well I've only won 1/3 matches... I could claim its down to my long run as a goblin coach but somehow I don't think that's the case!

NieA7
20-12-2012, 10:22 PM
I sure don't remember winning more than I've lost but apparently that's a thing. I really should stop complaining.

Gorm
20-12-2012, 10:47 PM
Haha well I've only won 1/3 matches... I could claim its down to my long run as a goblin coach but somehow I don't think that's the case!

Yea i thought about blaming the fact that i used to play vamps, and i'm not Jolima. But then i decided against it.

Everblue
21-12-2012, 12:27 AM
I have just finished my entry. I am quite excited about it. Roll on the 23rd!

Edit - Also, Alini's was lovely.

NieA7
21-12-2012, 09:16 AM
Not only is Nuffletide a time to consider our good fortune (or lack of it) in the present, it's also for remembering great heroes of the past.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Ybwe0xYbcw

Ian
21-12-2012, 10:34 AM
Excellent. :D

Judging by some of the excellent singing voices I reckon the RPS choir would be a hit.

President Weasel
21-12-2012, 11:35 AM
Complete opposite ends of the spectrum there from NieA7 and Doughnut, and yet both brilliant. I really liked your use of olde-worlde idiom, NieA7.

Well done both of you.

(won 23, drawn 17, lost 20 - statiscally, I am a winner, baby!)

cyberpunkdreams
21-12-2012, 02:59 PM
Excellent. :D

Judging by some of the excellent singing voices I reckon the RPS choir would be a hit.

I'm only joining that if we can do a Blood Bowl version of NWA's Fuck da Police.

Everblue
21-12-2012, 03:10 PM
"Straight Outta Kislev"

Sung by Ice El Cubo, Weaselly E, MC Jim, DJ Helio and drpier

Jiiiiim
21-12-2012, 06:26 PM
Updated the calendar for the Penultimate Occasion. Two more people to go!

LowKey
21-12-2012, 07:01 PM
This thread makes me feel


http://www.youtube.com/watch?gl=GB&v=539zCn8ySbc&hl=en-GB

groovychainsaw
22-12-2012, 02:56 PM
Right, here's my contribution. A bit of a violent blood bowl story. It hasn't had as much editing required as it probably needed, and ultimately is a bit... depressing, probably :-).

I wrote it in google docs HERE (https://docs.google.com/document/d/188df8olay00ljmGxD2HO8apcuA3w51YH-39VTjpfEO8/edit) if that makes it easier to read!

.................................................. .................................................. .....

The following is a Christmas story from the ‘Retired Player’s Society - Blood Bowl - Disabled or Dead charity’ (RPS BB DoD). Please give generously this Nufflemas.
…................................................. ........

He saw it before he felt it. The skin stretched first, the sinews visible, then the knee joint separating with a grotesque pop. A hit of pain, spearing through his brain. It continued. Blood gushing out, the kneecap flopping out limply, the muscle tissue tearing. With that, it was off, his leg floated away in front of his blurring vision as he hit the cold astrogranite. The last thing he saw as his eyes rolled into the back of his head was the Yhetee beginning to feast on his calf muscle. That was the beginning of the end.


…................................................. ........

'So, vat do ve haf here, eh?'

A leering face loomed in front of his swimming vision. One eye was much larger than the other, drool dripped from the malformed mouth, snaggle teeth projecting in all directions. A huge wart on the broken nose hovered in front of his vision. He felt... unwell. They'd said the new apothecary hadn't been a former Necromantic team worker, but he wasn't so sure.

'How bad is it, Doc?', he croaked.

'Vell, you are missing your left leg from ze knee down. Also, a goblin appeared to snack on 2 fingers on your vay down here, so, dey are not so gut now.' The apothecary smiled in an intimidating manner.

He relaxed. His long career was over. Missing a leg was beyond a niggling injury. His contract must be ended and he can retire, finally.

Nuffle thought otherwise.

'Can I introduce you to my colleague, Alexander Oxley-Burke?', the Apothecary slurped at him.

'Hello Wolfstrom, how are you feeling? I'm a big fan.'

Wolfstrom tried to turn his head to see the new speaker. He couldn't. Paralysing mushroom, he presumed. It explained why he didn't feel any pain. It couldn't be that long since he was stretchered off. In the corner of his eye, he saw a large collar, pale skin, beautifully white teeth. Cut-glass accent, too, privately educated most probably. He sounded... professional. Which was odd, for an apothecary.

‘So, obviously you were thinking you’d be off now, eh, old chap. Leg gnawed off by a Yhetee. Fitting way to head into retirement, no? Well, your bosses here, you see, think otherwise. You’ve been quite an investment for them here and as a fan favourite, they didn’t want to see you slope off quite yet, not whilst you still had few years left on your contract’

Oh no. What... what were they planning?

‘So, they invited me along. Me and some of the chaps over at Apotech Research have been working on a new restorative compound. It’s partially based on a distant relation to the lizardmen who, for business reasons, can no longer be named. But they used to have... Very. Long. Legs. One of their innate abilities was growing back limbs. Not so quick as some of those undead players, granted, but not too bad all the same. We’ve managed to distill that essence into something that can be applied to any living tissue. So, good news, old chap, you’re going to get your leg back’

Oh.... good Nuffle, no. Just as he was about to slip into a blissful retirement, they pull him back in. Nuffle should double skull that useless manager of his, signing him up for a ten year contract back in his early 30s. He was nearly 40 now, and barely limped through a match without numerous salves and potions as it was. He couldn’t believe they were that desperate to keep him. Sure, he brought in fans, but surely there was someone else?

‘As you know, there is no-one as popular as you, I’ve praised Nuffle for the opportunity to work with a bonafide star like you. I’ll put the compound on then we’ll knock you out until it’s healed a bit’

‘Zis might sting a bit...’ the apothecary spat at him in his sing-song voice.

He then hit him with a wooden mallet. The old ones were the best.


…................................................. ..........

Half-time, game 2 of the series.

The long leg had helped. An off-kilter leaping intercept followed by smashing that rat-man down had gone a long way to making him feel better about that green, overdeveloped monstrosity extruding out of his knee joint. But then one of those bloody gutter runners clawed his eyes. And now he was missing one and the other wasn’t helping him see much.

‘Vell, sorry I couldn’t vix your eye, Mr. Volfstrom’ the apothecary gargled.,‘but Alex has returned vis new compounds vor you zat might help’.

A breeze blew past my left ear.
‘Heeello, Mr Wolfstrom, so good of you to join us here again.’ After my body recovered from the shock (vampires were clearly very light on their feet), the smooth, cultured voice wafted past me, attached to the pale form of the Vampire.

‘That is a nasty injury, how terribly unfortunate. Well, I think we have a solution to that.’

‘Now, hang on a minute’, Wolfstrom started. Fair enough, he didn’t want to be half-blind, but at this rate he’d be on a Nurgle team before he knew it. He’d had enough of this bizzare, corrupt set of compounds. Just let him retire and be done with it.

‘Hangon a minute. Surely its time for me to retire? I’ve put in 8 good, long years with this team and... and... you're making a mockery of me.’ He flailed his leg at the two of them. ‘ I mean, look at this thing. Whilst I’d appreciate being able to see, I’m just not sure if its worth it anymore?’

‘Well now, thats no way to talk, is it. I thought you were the legendary Buck Wolfstrom, beastman of a thousand matches, highest scoring AND highest murder rate of any player in the league? How can you talk of retirement? Some of the stuff you did out there today was legendary. They’re already writing the front pages as we speak.’ The vampire smiled. Wolfstrom saw fangs.

‘Well, yes, but that’s not the point is it? I can’t go on like this.’

‘With all due repect Mr. Wolfstrom, I think with a little help, you can, and, more importantly, contractually, you have to. Now, stay still for a minute, this won’t hurt after the initial shock...’

The apothecary placed a purple mushroom on his forehead.
‘AAAArghhgh! Oh my god gedditoffgedditofffgedditoff!’ Wolfstrom screamed, then went completely placid. He was gone into a world of magic carpets and melting,flying colours. It was the best he’d felt for years.


…................................................. ...........

Quarter final, turn 3

Wolfstrom saw the elf sprinting clear. Someone had to get back and act as safety. His eyes were working fine (although did look a bit odd now, what with the green colour and fish-eye effect) but the extra arm he’d gained as a ‘side effect’ was as much of a hindrance as a help. It had helped briefly at the start to grab hold of the ball, but a blasted wardancer had jumped over the chaos warriors, grabbed the ball and leapt away again. Someone had to take that elf down. He went for it, stretching his new leg as much as possible to pick up speed, he lowered his head for the charge. At the limits of his pace, he was one step from the elf and his old leg collapsed. It had been overcompensating for the new leg for too long, the muscles had given out. He clutched air as the elf slipped through all fifteen fingers. His knee twisted and there was a loud ‘crack’ from his shin. The crowd cheered, as always.

The ref stopped play and the apothecary hurried on with 2 goblin stretcher-bearers. Wolfstrom wasn’t walking anywhere.

‘Vell, no vorries Mr. Volfstrom, ve can sort zat out, its only a broken leg.’

Wolfstrom knew this. It was the eighth time he’d broken his leg, and commonly it meant several weeks out. He wouldn’t be able to play in the semi, maybe they’d lose and he could get out for the inter-season break. Nuffle knows he needed a rest.

‘No to vorry though, Mr Burke can help vith zis, zere is a new vay of fixing up those legs double qvick, you know?’

‘No, I refuse, I don’t believe he can he do it, especially with no side effects this time?’ Wolfstrom asked, sighing. He knew the answer.

‘Of course, of course, no side effects, the last 2 were just... accidents. He’s pervected it now, vor sure’

Wolfstrom didn’t care any more. The excruciating pain of the shattered remnants of his shinbone grating against his calf muscle just made him want to rest. He closed his eyes and fell back into the now-familiar blackness.

He woke up in a very cold room, lying on some sort of stone table. He felt a twinge in his leg. He craned his stiff neck down to look. His leg was there! No splints, just a wrapping of bandages around it. It looked... okay. He looked at his other leg. That also had bandages around it. Come to think of it, so did the rest of him. He looked decidedly... Khemrian. A breeze blew in the corner of the room.

‘I’m sorry about the bandages, old chap’. Wolfstrom jumped a clear inch off the table from a lying start. It was Alexander again, speaking right next to his left ear.

‘I had a Khemri friend assist with some of the work and he got a bit... carried away with the aftercare. Do not concern yourself however, the procedure went well, the tonic took effect and we reconstructed your shinbone whilst you were out. It should work better than before as we added some reinforcement using some ogre skull. Now, you might notice a strange sensation at the base of your spine....’

Wolfstrom suddenly noticed a strange itch or, no, a twitch. He was lying on something wet, like rope? How come he hadn’t noticed that before. No wonder the slab was cold.

‘So, the team coach thought that, given your popularity with the fans, especially with some of your new additions, he’d like to see you with some other elements added in. I spoke to some Nurgle friends and we’ve... errr... given you an additional tentacle to help your game’

Wolfstrom leapt up, and the tentacle swung round and wetly adhered to his face, leaving red welts and a cold slime trail as it peeled off again.

‘Gah!’ He exclaimed.’What in Nuffle’s name have you done to me, you Lustrian bastard!’

‘Now, now, Mr. Wolfstrom, please stay calm. It was quite clearly stated in your contract that you are willing to submit to whatever procedures might get you back on the pitch sooner. And that’s just what we’ve done. Look at the condition of your leg. It’s better than new!’

‘It never said anything about grafting on additional limbs or accursed tentacles!?’

‘Ah well, you see, it wasn’t a graft, that would be a bit crude, although I’ve seen such things done in the underworld. No, we used a restorative tonic to help your leg. It just had a bit of a... kick to it. Or ‘wiggle’, heh’

Wolfstrom stared through his new fish-eyes at the Vampire. Through gritted teeth he spat,
‘This. Is. Not. A. Joking. Matter.’

‘Well, maybe not Mr. Wolfstrom. But you have 6 useful limbs now. Think of the advantages! Many people would kill to be in your position!’

‘Well, not me, I’m afraid. I’ve killed enough. I’ll be taking this up with my lawyer, you can’t do this to me!’


…................................................. ..........

Semi-final, penultimate drive

Turns they could do this to him. The contract was watertight. He had his doubts about his lawyers, what with his one being a vampire who had gone to school with Burke. He got a second opinion, but it was another vampire who also claimed it was watertight. There were no lawyers who weren’t vampires here.
He had played a good game however. His body was struggling with the additions and the strain it was putting on his frame, but once the painkillers had kicked in he got into it. He’d already murdered two goblins and shattered the arm of another. Two of those were just as they were trying to escape, he grabbed them with the tentacle and then gored them with his horns. So, in some respects, the tentacle was useful. Wet, livid, diseased-looking, but useful.

The crowd were loving it as he shambled onto the pitch. The star player, a shambling mound of flesh and scar tissue. Six limbs of destruction. Just what they came for. He’d scored one touchdown in a short space of time and had been busy crushing goblins throughout the game. They were a well-moneyed side however, and they’d clearly paid off the ref. They’d kept a chainsaw on for the whole match so far which had worked it’s way through a slew of chaos warriors. Meanwhile, some of the other goblins kept taking sneaky kicks to players on the ground, often right next to the referee. Wolfstrom’s team were up 3-0, but the goblins seemed to be scoring in casualties. It was 5-5 so far, with the final drive remaining.

The goblins received, gathered the ball and congregated behind their trolls in the centre of the pitch. Fine, let’s take those big sons of Nurgle down. Two guarding beastmen were ready for the assist as he began his charge, tentacle flailing out behind him. Time seemed to slow down. The troll next to his target reached down and grabbed the goblin holding the ball. The troll he was aiming for picked his nose aimlessly. He’d picked the wrong one, but it was too late now, momentum was carrying him through the hit. In the corner of his eye (which had large corners now, thanks to the fish-eye lenses) he spotted a glint of metal and a puff of smoke. Oh no. Oh Nuffle no.

The goblin sailed through the air over his head. It would be, at best, a consolation touchdown for the goblins. His head made contact with the troll and gored him viciously in the leg. Even as he pulled back he could see the wound closing up. The troll was still investigating its cavernous nose. A ‘buzz’ came from immediately behind him. He flailed with the tentacle and felt searing hot pain and was splattered with his own cool, blue-black ‘blood’ as the tentacle wetly landed on the ground in front of him. This pain didn’t last for long though as it was superseded by a hot burning line through his torso. This is it! He thought. Freedom! Bring me home, Nuffle! The chainsaw working its way through his torso clipped a metal plate in his armour and stalled. Wolfstrom passed out.


…................................................. ..........

Wolfstrom woke up, back on the cold slab in the grey room. Alexander was leering over him, white teeth flashing in the torchlit gloom.

‘Ah, good, you’re awake old boy, thought we’d lost you for a minute there.’

Wolfstrom couldn't reply. He couldn’t move, either. He was surrounded by strange pumps, tubes and bags of... substances. He was... alive at least? Surely they couldn’t piece him back together after that? Surely blessed retirement was nigh?

‘Well, we nearly couldn’t put you back together after that squeaky goblin lunatic tried to split you in two. Some of your organs had had it, so we ‘appropriated’ some from a necromantic team that didn’t need them any more. You have a werewolf liver! Which should give you excellent drinking prowess now, but only during a full moon. At all other times, I’d recommend you take it easy with the Bugman’s. You also have one ogre lung, which should give you some additional breathing capacity.’

They’d obviously given him something for the pain, as he couldn’t feel... anything, really, but he was certainly breathing easily. His chest was heaving mass of flesh now that in no way resembled a torso, more a collection of tumours that someone had piled together.

‘Don’t try to speak, you’ll find it a bit difficult as your body is still adjusting and we have you under some awesomely strong painkillers right now. Good news though! You’ll be there for the final. Missing the tentacle, but we swapped that out for something even better. That werewolf we told you about? We’ve given you his claws!’

Wolfstrom looked down. Yes, his hands, the last thing of any use to him, were now appended by foot-long, razor sharp claws. He was a monster in every sense of the word. Why have you done this to me Nuffle, why?


…................................................. ...........

Final game, last play of the game.

It was Nufflemas eve, and a blizzard had sprung up out of nowhere. Somewhere in the crowd, some bells chink chinked along to the action on the pitch. Wolfstrom had the ball. His tired, mutated body screamed in agony as he flung himself up the pitch. He’d been bashing ogres down all game, and he’d had enough. This was the end. He made a silent prayer to Father Nufflemas.
‘Please Father Nufflemas, I’ve been good this year, always playing within the rules, and never killing anyone who didn’t at least deserve it, but I’ve had enough now. The best gift I could receive this year would be to end this. I don’t care how now though. That mad vampire is going to keep fixing me up no matter what happens and I need it to stop. Please.’

He looked up. Only one snotling between him and the line. A glorious victory awaited. Champagne, bugmans, bloodweiser babes, the works. A couple of months off until the new season. How long did he have left? 3, 4 more years?

But wait. A lone snotling. Wolfstrom glanced up. Could this be it? Is this what nuffle wanted? It seemed like the sort of thing he would do. He prayed for release, and swerved towards the pitiful snotling.

From the snotling’s point of view, this was the scariest thing that had happened to him all match. He’d mostly kept in the backfield, and then quietly moved out of the way when anyone bigger than him loomed nearby (friend and foe alike). Suddenly, this furiously angry star came charging directly at him, all sorts of thing wrong with that body, a lopsided shambling apology for a fan favourite was about to skewer him. ‘Right’, thought the snotling. ‘Time to become a legend’.

Wolfstrom lowered his head, aiming the horns directly at the snotlings head and dreamed of Nuffle’s embrace. As he closed the gap, images flooded his mind. The dreaded three red skulls of nuffle. A sign? Maybe. The skulls shook themselves for a moment, hesitating to suggest other outcomes, other possibilities. Just pushing the snotling, or tripping him (hard to do with those slippery little buggers), smashing into a fine paste. But nuffle has decided. The three red skulls appeared in his head again. So be it.

As the snotling watched the final approach, he saw the head lower, the huge horns ready make contact. The little snotling swerved his body out of the way, duck and then jumped up and bit, hard. The snotling was rewarded with a mouthful of warm, blackish liquid. It tasted like ogre dung, but was the best sustenance he’d had all day. The teeth stayed embedded as the beastman fell to the ground and the snotling fell away.

Wolfstrum lay on the ground, snowflakes outlining his now-hideous form as a pool of blackish-green blood seeped out from the severed femoral artery. The world started to grow dim as he realised Father Nufflemas had brought him the gift he’d asked for. The sweet release from the game of BloodBowl. The retirement he’d sought for so long. He closed his eyes, and the game was over.


…................................................. ..............

Please, this Nufflemas, think of the players, and donate to RPS BB DoD. We fight for players to gain new contract rights and better working conditions so stories like this do not happen to others. Remember, players are people too.

President Weasel
22-12-2012, 06:11 PM
a distant relation to the lizardmen who, for business reasons, can no longer be named. But they used to have... Very. Long. Legs.

Nice touch.
I liked it. Poor guy.

Everblue
22-12-2012, 06:41 PM
Lovely GC - very dark

Everblue
23-12-2012, 10:33 AM
Well, it's not very Christmassy on reflection, and it's a rip off of a well known children's book. Bollocks though, here it is...
__________________________________________________ _______

The Helio


Cyberpunkdreams logged into BB
Jolima said “Why not have a game with me?
Your gobbos are perfect for my nurgle to face
I'll splatter your players all over the place.”

“I'd love to”, said Cyber, “but didn't you know?”
“I've got a match against Helio”

“Against Helio? Who's Helio?”
“Helio? Why don't you know?”

“His eyes are dark and his fingers are long
And all his players have piling on.
He stays up late memorising the rules
And his eight-man fouls are terribly cruel.”

“What league is your match?” “It's the DoD.
And he loves to crunch pestigors too, you'll see.”

“Oh,” said Jolima, backingaway
“I don't think I've time to play you today
My dog needs a walk and the bath's sprung a leak
And I haven't washed up for nearly a week.”

And then he was gone, there was no sign of him
And Cyber said to himself with a grin
“Silly Jolima, doesn't he know
There's no such person as Helio”

_____________

Cyberpunkdreams logged into BB
Weasel said “Why not have a game with me?
I'll smack down your trolls and maim your pogoer
After the match he will bounce a lot slower! ”

“I'd love to”, said Cyber, “but didn't you know?”
“I've got a match against Helio”

“Against Helio? Who's Helio?”
“Helio? Why don't you know?”

“His appearance is foul, his presence disturbing.
His selection of skills is always perturbing.
His players are dirty, they're right sneaky gits.
Just to survive will take all of your wits.”

“What league is your match?” “It's the DoD.
And he'll have your Red Skull Reavers for tea.”

“BRB,” said the Prez, going afk
And he wasn't seenfor the rest of the day.
When challengedlater he claimed that his router
Had died and he'd had to reboot his computer.

But Cyber was wise to it and straight away after
He threw back his head and roared out with laughter
“Silly old Weasel, doesn't he know
There's no such person as Helio”

_____________

Cyberpunkdreams logged into BB
Corkir said “Why not have a game with me?
My magnificent elves will humiliate your team
We win every match by at least two or three”

“I'd love to”, said Cyber, “but didn't you know?”
“I've got a match against Helio”

“Against Helio? Who's Helio?”
“Helio? Why don't you know?”

“His skull is thick, his gaze hypnotic.
His devotion to fouling is borderline psychotic.
When playing he sits, not on an office chair,
But on a throne constructed of bonesand of hair.”

“What league is your match?” “It's the DoD.
And he'll force your dark elves to either die or flee.”

“Oh, right,” said Corkir,considering madly
“but I have too much work today sadly.
Of course I'd love to, some other time you know
Anyway, nice to talk, cheerio!"

And Corkir was gone, the lobby was quiet.
Cyber knew why, though she'd tried to deny it.
“Silly old Corkir, doesn't she know?
There's no such person as Helio”

_____________


Now those three have gone, each one in a taking
Cyber clicks “start” and tries some matchmaking
He watches the coin beginning to spin
Is he losing his mind or are the lights going dim?

And then the coin stops, sounding his doom.
And the match screen opens, like the door of a tomb.
Cyber stares at the monitor, his whole body frozen
And views the opponent the server has chosen.

His eyes are dark and his fingers are long
And all his players have piling on.
He stays up late memorising the rules
And his eight-man fouls are terribly cruel.

His appearance is foul, his presence disturbing.
His selection of skills is always perturbing.
His players are dirty, they're right sneaky gits.
Just to survive will take all Cyber's wits.

His skull is thick, his gaze hypnotic.
His devotion to fouling is borderline psychotic.
When playing he sits, not on an office chair,
But on a throne constructed of bones and of hair.

Oh help! Oh no!

It's Helio!

groovychainsaw
23-12-2012, 11:02 AM
Very nicely done Everblue, very entertaining :-)

Squiz
23-12-2012, 11:37 AM
Suberb contributions, this thread makes me smile every day. :)

Screwie
23-12-2012, 11:41 AM
Fantastic stories, both of you!

Well done everyone, really (especially Jiiiims for pushing us all into it). I'm already thinking about my contribution for next year...

President Weasel
23-12-2012, 01:00 PM
That's excellent, Everblue. I was reading the source text to my niece a couple of months ago; I think you really captured the spirit of the book, and made it blood-bowly, and made it funny, and put me in it! It could hardly be better.

Heliocentric
23-12-2012, 08:00 PM
Very nicely done Everblue, very entertaining :-)
Its only moderately accurate, I call for a mistrial!

cyberpunkdreams
23-12-2012, 11:42 PM
Great stuff, nice to be the star of the show ;)

Dentharial
24-12-2012, 08:57 PM
I haven't been posting after every entry, but I have been reading, looking at and listening to every one.

This has been awesome fun. Thank you, and Merry Christmas.

NieA7
24-12-2012, 09:13 PM
Same here, I've not been commenting individually but they've all been rather lovely. Merry Christmas all, here's to more Blood Bowl in the new year.

Jiiiiim
24-12-2012, 11:29 PM
And now a word from our sponsors.

You know what I was expecting, right? I was expecting like a couple of orcs wearing santa hats and maybe a limerick. I didn't ask for this...abundance of creativity, this festive light show of brilliant endeavour. Remember this when you next play in the divisions, or the open, or the challenge league. Remember this the next time Zoraster lays down the law, or Helio lays down the boot, or Jim lays down the beat. Remember this when Groovy and Jolima and Screwie spend thankless hours organising us herd of cats into a rough formation. Remember we are more than a gaming group, we are a community, and the proof is in this thread.

Merry Christmas, you bastards.

20phoenix
25-12-2012, 01:32 AM
And now a word from our sponsors.

You know what I was expecting, right? I was expecting like a couple of orcs wearing santa hats and maybe a limerick. I didn't ask for this...abundance of creativity, this festive light show of brilliant endeavour. Remember this when you next play in the divisions, or the open, or the challenge league. Remember this the next time Zoraster lays down the law, or Helio lays down the boot, or Jim lays down the beat. Remember this when Groovy and Jolima and Screwie spend thankless hours organising us herd of cats into a rough formation. Remember we are more than a gaming group, we are a community, and the proof is in this thread.

Merry Christmas, you bastards.

In an eloquence fitting for the modern age I have the following to say about this thread:

20phoenix likes this.

Merry xmas all

LowKey
25-12-2012, 11:40 AM
Really enjoyed this everyone! Same again next year hopefully, merry christmas

Squiz
25-12-2012, 01:56 PM
Merry Christmas everyone. I hope you have some great holidays, even if you didn't get "The smarterezt coach's tocticz buk" or whatever you were hoping for.

cyberpunkdreams
25-12-2012, 11:18 PM
And now a word from our sponsors.

You know what I was expecting, right? I was expecting like a couple of orcs wearing santa hats and maybe a limerick. I didn't ask for this...abundance of creativity, this festive light show of brilliant endeavour. Remember this when you next play in the divisions, or the open, or the challenge league. Remember this the next time Zoraster lays down the law, or Helio lays down the boot, or Jim lays down the beat. Remember this when Groovy and Jolima and Screwie spend thankless hours organising us herd of cats into a rough formation. Remember we are more than a gaming group, we are a community, and the proof is in this thread.

Merry Christmas, you bastards.

It's been a mighty impressive effort and really representative of our community. I'm glad to be a part of it.

laneford
26-12-2012, 12:46 AM
Well done everyone! You rock!

Happy christmas!

Alini
26-12-2012, 05:11 PM
This has been absolutely fantastic, thank you everyone for your great entries and Jiiim for organising this. Merry Christmas and very happy new year to you all!

Ian
27-12-2012, 12:43 AM
Call me big-headed if you like, but I'm going to give myself the Merry Bloody Advent 2012 Red Adair Award for Best Fireplace.