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mrpier
30-03-2012, 01:40 PM
Twas ever thus :) Well, if you know a time on Sunday you'll be free I'm happy to meet up then, otherwise I doubt I'll ever be more than an hour or two away from checking steam so you can just msg me on the day. I'm on holiday the following week so if you can't make Sunday pretty much any time any day after is fine too.

I'll catch you on steam on sunday then.

Indefatigible Snoozer
30-03-2012, 09:58 PM
Ha ha ha, no. 9am on a Saturday is quite early enough, thanks; do they even make any times before 9am on a Saturday morning?

9am it is.

grinn
31-03-2012, 09:05 AM
Hey Duff, I'm up and waiting - let me know what time works for you

grinn
31-03-2012, 01:07 PM
Hey Duff, can you play at all today? It's sunny for a change here and have been hanging out waiting for a game all day...

duff
31-03-2012, 01:35 PM
Hey Grinn, sorry I don't get home today (and tommorow) until about 6 UK time. Sorry if you've been waiting round mate, I was sure I told you that I wouldn't be around until the evening on Sat + Sun because of the football, though I think we have got mixed up as I had it in mind we were playing Sunday. Really sorry to inconvenience you mate. Is either tonight or tommorow night after 6pm UK/BST good for you (we should probably set a definite time)? If not I don't mind defaulting as I've only been able to play this weekend which isn't exactly helpful.

grinn
31-03-2012, 01:37 PM
I m at a concert tonight and will be home late. Tomorrow have a dinner which will end around midnight my time. So can play around 00.30 my time - 11.30 pm yours.

grinn
31-03-2012, 01:38 PM
It's fine - the last time we agreed that if thursday wouldnt happen (and it was unlikely) we'd play saturday morning. Hence my hanging around - but it's cool - got the house clean for a change.

duff
31-03-2012, 02:22 PM
Alright lets try 00.30 Sunday night / monday morning.

grinn
31-03-2012, 02:51 PM
Cool, if you hang out on steam earlier I ll jump on as soon as I m done.

See you then!

Indefatigible Snoozer
01-04-2012, 09:09 AM
'hands and I played yesterday. Twas a painful game for 'hands.

My Khemri elected to kick. We sent each others' players off the field for a while, but unfortunately for 'hands my guys were only KOs while his suffered an assortment of injuries. Retrieving the ball he gradually made his way down the left flank, but, with my undead men closing in, was unable to delay his TD past turn 6, leaving me 3 turns to score. Receiving the kick, both sides were down to 9 men (my ko'd mans having all failed to wake up), but I was able to tie up his players, and get the ball down the field in the remaining 3 turns. 1-1 at half time.

My guys started gradually to wake up, and it becomes difficult for 'hands to cover the field with only 8 men left at this stage. The kick goes deep, and 'hands decides to threaten the ball when a blitz comes up, but it moves his men out of position, and I am able to score around turn 13.

With 4 turns left, 'hands makes a valiant attempt to even the scoreline, and with some skillful passing manages to get the ball to his str 4 frenzy monster beastman, and get said beastman to within shouting distance of the scoreline. However, A blitz into the crowd had the ball land halfway up my half of the pitch, coming to rest between a Tomb Guardian and a Chaos Warrior, where it stayed until the beginning of my last turn.

Now, the Khemri are not known for their high scoring potential. But I had left the possibility open for the unlikely possibility of a third TD. With one reroll to my name, the following sequence miraculously occurred:
1) Blitz Chaos warrior away from ball with tomb guardian (no big deal).
2) Dodge with thro-ra (4+ plus dodge skill reroll). Pick-up ball with Thro-ra (4+ plus surehands reroll). Pass ball with thro-ra (5+ plus pass skill reroll).
3) CATCH BALL WITH UNSKILLED THRO-RA (Accurate pass, so 4+ I believe)
4) Pass off to AG 3 skeleton standing in 1 tacklezone (4+ again).
5) Dodge with AG 3 skeleton and walk to the Endzone. I failed this final dodge, but the team reroll succeeded.

If someone can work out the odds of that sequence succeeding...I think its quite low.

3-1 at full time.

Certainly the first time I've seen such scoreline with my Khemri. Thanks to 'hands for the game. Sorry for the several grievous injuries inflicted...

Jiiiiim
01-04-2012, 10:13 AM
AG 3 skeleton would catch and dodge on a 3+

anyway the SAMBA ACTION CALCULATOR -> http://elyoukey2.phpnet.org/sac/

reckons that would be 14.06% with a team reroll

mrpier
01-04-2012, 05:24 PM
Got five skillups from my match against Niea7, it was a quite onesided match as his goblins couldn't do anything right. At the end I think there was only two trolls and the pogoer left on the pitch. Match ended 4-0 to my high elves.

NieA7
01-04-2012, 05:31 PM
Not mentioned in above report: Ripper killing himself on a 3 dice block, chainsaw loony KO'ing self on first use despite re-roll, first bribe failing, 3 failed 1TTDs despite using a re-roll for each, 4 failed KO recoveries despite babe. I'll be honest, it wasn't a vintage match as far as I was concerned.

On the plus side every serious injury was on a mercenary or star player, but that was about as good as it got.

laneford
02-04-2012, 10:16 AM
Hi Laneford, as I didn't see you free last night, how's sunday morning sound? I'll try to catch you before then on steam, but if not, then will that work as a backstop?

Hey groovy, helpfully O2 have decided to break all the Internet in our flat since last Thursday... I'm going to attempt to go buy one of those mobile broadband USB dongle things, no idea if that will be viable for BB or not, but I'll keep you posted, assuming, I can get back online. Sorry!

(unless I've already missed the deadline in which case no worries :( )

LowKey
02-04-2012, 10:33 AM
We'll me and the boss man are still waiting to play our game

grinn
02-04-2012, 11:26 AM
Me and Duff played our game yesterday night. We started at 00.30 my time so I'm a bit hazy on the details of the match, but it went something like this:

Gears of Mork choose to kick to the Skinkinators, the newly trained kicker-lino on the team excited to be off the LOS for the first time in six seasons. He places the ball exactly as desired - a few squares away from the mid-point line on the opposite flank to the larger congregation of Sauri. The initial bashing starts and the Gears' thrower, caught in the wrong spot by a lapsed set-up timer and an indecisive and drunken Kowc, gets surfed on turn 1. Nice job Kowc!

After some pushing and shoving turns the Skinkinators fail a re-rolled dodge from a skink (that was the first move in the turn) and the Gears capitalize by pushing into the blue-mans half. A few turns of pushing, shoving and blue-mans sent off-field by orcs with issues see the Gears' star carrier Agatha Barbara pick up the ball and sprint to the endzone. A Sauro breaks free from the melee and manages to take Agatha down, however. More bashing confusion and eventually a noob skink manages to grab the ball from under the guarding Mintoff's tackly hands and dodge away to relative safety. The hand-off is made to a sprinty skinky in the next turn and sprinty does a stunty chain of dodges to get himself deep into the Gears' barren half.

The Gears put on little resistance and sprinty-boy scores. 1-0 to the Skinkinators with three turns left for the Gears to equalize and have a chance to win.

The Skinkinators kick to the middle of the Gears' half. The Gears punch a hole in the blue-wall and rush up with all their blitzers and a lineman in the Skinkinators' half. Skinkinators' coach hisses for a Sauro-skink column screen and the Gears are pretty much corralled in by a scaly half-moon. Zeppi il-Hafi (Zeppi the Barefoot - notorious Maltese assassin - figured I ll start translating the orcy Maltese names from now) runs up to Mintoff (ex Maltese PM known for his brass balls and giant buckle) who dodge through a diagonal gap left by two Sauri and runs the ball into the endzone on turn 7.

The Gears receive and start their slow grindy-bashy move upfield. There are as many blue-mans off the pitch as there are on the pitch by turn 12, but Da Kowc threatens to take the victory orcy-gals to his hotel room if da boyz score before turn 16. So the cage moves back, then left, then back then left then up again amidst the constant breaches from angry-Sauri. Slowly the Gears grind out the blue men until Agatha Barbara (Malta's version of Margaret Thatcher) languidly strides into the end-zone.

2-1 to the Gears. The Gears suffer a -1MV (averted from death) on Zibel (rubbishman) and inflict a death on a slightly leveled skink.

Great game Duff and thanks for playing late.

Indefatigible Snoozer
02-04-2012, 11:46 AM
AG 3 skeleton would catch and dodge on a 3+

anyway the SAMBA ACTION CALCULATOR -> http://elyoukey2.phpnet.org/sac/

reckons that would be 14.06% with a team reroll

Dodge on 3+, sure, but AG 3 receiving a hand-off while standing in one tackle zone would be 4+, correct?

Jiiiiim
02-04-2012, 11:53 AM
Yeah I missed the tacklezone info. YOU WIN.

laneford
02-04-2012, 01:30 PM
Does anyone know how much bandwith a game of Blood Bowl would be expected to use?

President Weasel
02-04-2012, 03:05 PM
-- POINT OF ORDER --

I know nothing about Chaos Dwarfs other than they sound cool.
Therefore I wish to enter a Chaos Dwarf team into the Open, when the Chaos Edition is released (Sept 6th?).

Normal service can now be resumed
-------------------------

Indefatigible Snoozer
02-04-2012, 04:22 PM
Yeah I missed the tacklezone info. YOU WIN.

Hmm, that's a handy-dandy odds calculator. I reran the sequence and it comes out at 9.431% (including 17% chance of intercept). Not to bad for my shambling men.

laneford
02-04-2012, 04:43 PM
Chaos Dwarves are Bastards.

Janek
02-04-2012, 04:52 PM
You mean AWESOME. I, too, call dibs _

(On the assumption, of course, that they don't bloody try releasing a third consecutive game at full price when we're only just reaching a feature-complete version)

NieA7
02-04-2012, 05:41 PM
Normal to Legendary wasn't too bad as normal was a good game on its own and Legendary introduced something like 15 new races. 3 new races is less compelling, especially considering Slann aren't one of them :(

laneford
02-04-2012, 05:41 PM
Ok, Groovy. I haf a USB mobile broadband thingy, and I can use 250mb a day... it seems quite fast, but I have no idea if it's good enough for BB.

Either way, I am around all tomorrow and wednesday, but then I'm going away until the following wednesday I'm afraid... :(

Jolima
02-04-2012, 08:09 PM
We'll me and the boss man are still waiting to play our game

Right. Tomorrow at 8 pm perhaps?

LowKey
02-04-2012, 08:38 PM
Can do! Words to pass minimum word count

groovychainsaw
02-04-2012, 09:05 PM
Hi Laneford, assuming the dongle stands up (pfnarr) - Weds, 8pm sounds good if that works?

laneford
03-04-2012, 11:45 AM
Internet has been fixed now, so anytime Wednesday should be good.

laneford
03-04-2012, 12:23 PM
Apologies for the lack of pun in that previous post.

I am sad we will not be able to play with my dongle together.

LowKey
03-04-2012, 06:31 PM
Jolima! I have a boiler guy out tonight and he's running late, can we say 8.30?

Jolima
03-04-2012, 08:06 PM
Jolima! I have a boiler guy out tonight and he's running late, can we say 8.30?

Oh, just saw this. Sure, that works.

laneford
04-04-2012, 07:10 PM
Hi Laneford, assuming the dongle stands up (pfnarr) - Weds, 8pm sounds good if that works?

Any chance we could make it 8:30 then I can watch the first half of the foot-to-ball? No worries if not.

Jiiiiim
04-04-2012, 09:00 PM
HUGHTOWER! STAND AND FACE ME!

I have installed the bloodbowl, retrieved my password, I will shortly reconfigure my router. When do you wish to fight??? I will be around literally all day like a big whale.

Warning: TWO DAYS REMAINING.

HughTower
05-04-2012, 12:49 PM
HUGHTOWER! STAND AND FACE ME!

I have installed the bloodbowl, retrieved my password, I will shortly reconfigure my router. When do you wish to fight??? I will be around literally all day like a big whale.

Warning: TWO DAYS REMAINING.

And how I wish I could come by and harpoon you to my heart's content. But, sadly, my cut-and-thrust world doesn't have the same laxity that your cloistered groves of academe do, and so I must continue to flog myself for another day to the bone in the service of Mammon and his minions.

How about tomorrow, cherub? I reckon I can get up and going any time from 9.30am if you're around.

Jiiiiim
05-04-2012, 01:08 PM
Buh?

Okay yes tomorrow sounds good I shall aim for 10am for a SUPER GOOD FRIDAY.

Jiiiiim
06-04-2012, 11:05 AM
Alright network synch error, we're replaying later today. DON'T VALIDATE ANYTHING JOLIMA.

Jiiiiim
06-04-2012, 06:21 PM
Result put in spreadsheet: now to compose a suitably lyrical motif.

Jolima
06-04-2012, 09:20 PM
That means the round is over!

The next one is marked up in the spreadsheet and is due to end next Saturday.

Janek, could you play anytime on Sunday or Monday perhaps?

NieA7
06-04-2012, 09:29 PM
Chainsawhands, it's time to feed the goats. I'm going to be away from Monday to Friday evening, but I can make pretty much any time outside that.

Janek
06-04-2012, 11:42 PM
That means the round is over!

The next one is marked up in the spreadsheet and is due to end next Saturday.

Janek, could you play anytime on Sunday or Monday perhaps?

I could! Shall we say 8pm Sunday?

Jiiiiim
07-04-2012, 12:33 AM
Groovy! STAND AND FACE ME. I'm around neeeearly all the time as it is the holidays and what else am I going to do.

President Weasel
07-04-2012, 01:32 AM
Lowkey Lie-smith, you Norse god of sneakiness, let's have a blood bowl!
When?

Zoraster
07-04-2012, 04:16 AM
Screwie: I can offer you Tuesday daytime or anything you fancy from Wednesday onwards at the time of writing.

LowKey
07-04-2012, 08:03 AM
It would be an honor mr president, i am away most of the weekend but perhaps tuesday night?

Screwie
07-04-2012, 10:22 AM
Oh god, I am facing Zoraster's Norse :(

I am unavailable until Thursday evening at the earliest, but should be free Thurs/Fri after 8pm or any time at the weekend.

Jiiiiim
07-04-2012, 11:17 AM
Ultimate Maths Squad (Jim, humans) vs The Vivisectionists (HughT, skaven)

Notes: I hate gutter runners, his rat ogre is the legendary Billy Big Balls.

link link link ---> http://www.mediafire.com/?az2a8t95gf53bgi <--- link link link

I was playing a skaven team and they received
I said don't mind, But I hope so much you roll a one
as you dance and you score In two rounds
he said I'll not roll one, as I dance and I score In two rounds

His ogre's name Was Billy Big Balls, and he liked to claw
and every head turned With eyes that prayed they weren't the one
Who he'd blitz and then push to the ground

Punch a bunch of ratmen, careful how I cage
don't go around breaking free too soon
Keep gutters at an arms' length, be careful who you shove
And there's nothing they can do, now Bernoulli raise the roof

Billy Big Balls, not my ogre
He's just a frenzied guy who claws everyone
But at half-time it's 1-1
I hope he rolls a one, but at half-time it's 1-1

With eight rats left, one of them died
Odds were on my side
But who can stand when Billy's advanced
not Ramanujan
Juggernaut knocks him straight off the pitch
So I panic and pass, but my Newton is pushed to the grass
to the grass

Dan Bernoulli is ball carrier three
Billy blitzes free
I'm starting to lose my player's trust
as Gauss gets concussed
Gutters dance, on the floor, and run round

Come on Mathematicians, there's half a dozen rats
We went around breaking linemen spines
Fin'ly get to break free
but gutters swarm my dude
That wrestlin' dauntless fool
Is gonna spell my doom

Newton sees it's nearly over
and picks the ball up, slowly starting to run
and he scores it's almost won
Turn 16, time for a one-turner
Perfect defence threatens to spoil their fun
But that gutter swine can run
I hope he rolls a one, cos the match is not yet won
Fall! Kerpow! Biff! Smash! Stomp! Squeak! Die!
I hope he rolls a one, cos the match is not yet won
Billie Big Balls blitzes over
They get the ball and pass it, please roll a one
cos the match is not yet won
Handoff's about to come, God I pray he rolls a one
Yes he does roll a one
The final score's 2-1
We barely earned the win
Billy Big Balls not my ogre
Billy Big Balls not my ogre
Billy Big Balls not my ogre
Billy Big Balls not my ogre
Billy Big Balls not my ogre

Full-time score: 2-1 (just)

President Weasel
07-04-2012, 11:46 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqMhU64HMUA


(sounds good, Lowkey - let's say Tuesday at half seven)

Indefatigible Snoozer
07-04-2012, 02:06 PM
Duffin - I'm in the US of A for the next 2 weeks, and can probably make myself available starting around midday into the early afternoon European time most days. Let me know when would suit.

grinn
07-04-2012, 02:39 PM
Hahahaha, that was hilarious Jim. I squirted soya milk from my nose laughing.

grinn
07-04-2012, 02:43 PM
Hey Drawlieman, when shall we bash cupcakes?

Jolima
07-04-2012, 03:45 PM
I could! Shall we say 8pm Sunday?

Perfect. See you then.

HughTower
07-04-2012, 05:12 PM
That was delicious, Jiiiiim. Truly epic. You have a weird and wonderful mind, it's clear.

HughTower
07-04-2012, 05:29 PM
mrpier, you available tomorrow (Sunday) at all for our game?

Jiiiiim's humans have left a rather unpleasant taste in my mouth and the Vivi's need something more palatable to gnaw on.

drawlien
07-04-2012, 07:56 PM
Hey Grinn, I could play one evening this week about 7-8pm. Which day suits you best?

duff
07-04-2012, 08:18 PM
Duffin - I'm in the US of A for the next 2 weeks, and can probably make myself available starting around midday into the early afternoon European time most days. Let me know when would suit.

An early afternoon game next week should work. Something like Wed or Thurs at 2pm (BST) would be good?

grinn
07-04-2012, 08:33 PM
Can we do Tuesday at 9pm UK time (10pm Copenhagen time)? It's hard for me to play earlier during the week.


Hey Grinn, I could play one evening this week about 7-8pm. Which day suits you best?

drawlien
07-04-2012, 09:51 PM
I can't play that late. How about the weekend?

groovychainsaw
07-04-2012, 10:29 PM
Jiiiiim. Just saw your message - ill be around tomorrow morning for sure, then my need to visit relatives will make me a bit unreliable for a day or two. If not tomorrow morning I'll see if I can catch you on steam...

Zoraster
08-04-2012, 04:59 AM
I am unavailable until Thursday evening at the earliest, but should be free Thurs/Fri after 8pm or any time at the weekend. Let us say Thursday at 20:00 then. With all the desyncs since Cyanide's latest attempts to 'fix' the game it is probably wise to retain a fallback option or three!

grinn
08-04-2012, 10:54 AM
Ok drawlien, how about today? Just woke up and am free all day.

drawlien
08-04-2012, 11:05 AM
I can play now if you want? Can't see you on steam though...

grinn
08-04-2012, 11:20 AM
Still in bed. Ok jumping onto pc now

grinn
08-04-2012, 11:30 AM
On steam, grinding our collective shoulder spikes :p

Indefatigible Snoozer
08-04-2012, 01:52 PM
An early afternoon game next week should work. Something like Wed or Thurs at 2pm (BST) would be good?

Hmm, could you possibly start at midday BST? Also, my social planner (aka the significant other) is being somewhat vague about our plans Wednesday/Thursday so can we aim for Wednesday, but maybe fall back to Thursday? Plans should firm up the evening before, so I"ll let you know if I can"t make it.

laneford
08-04-2012, 04:14 PM
Hello Prester! I am away until Wednesday evening this week, but am then off work and relatively free for those few days until the Saturday deadline with a bit of notice.

Janek
08-04-2012, 09:46 PM
Hooray Cyanide ate my game with Jolima. Which means I have to do it again.

D:

Yep, servers down completely. Brilliant. Brill. Iant. Complete waste of an evening then.

duff
09-04-2012, 06:14 AM
Hmm, could you possibly start at midday BST? Also, my social planner (aka the significant other) is being somewhat vague about our plans Wednesday/Thursday so can we aim for Wednesday, but maybe fall back to Thursday? Plans should firm up the evening before, so I"ll let you know if I can"t make it.

Wed at 12pm BST sounds good. I have the week off so don't worry if something comes up at the last minute.

Janek
09-04-2012, 10:21 AM
Hooray Cyanide ate my game with Jolima. Which means I have to do it again.

D:

Yep, servers down completely. Brilliant. Brill. Iant. Complete waste of an evening then.

Yeah it doesn't look like it's gone through. Same time tonight, then?

Jolima
09-04-2012, 10:50 AM
Ok. See you then.

Screwie
09-04-2012, 11:37 AM
Let us say Thursday at 20:00 then. With all the desyncs since Cyanide's latest attempts to 'fix' the game it is probably wise to retain a fallback option or three!

Okie doke. You don't use Steam, do you? I'll make sure to be waiting in-game then.

Jiiiiim
09-04-2012, 04:42 PM
Played Groovy on Sunday. Our meeting last season was a 4-0 romp to me, this would be a bit more difficult...

Ultimate Maths Squad (Jim, human) vs Wolfsburg (GroovyC, necro)

link link link ---> http://www.mediafire.com/?c97e9xqmzb9iei2 <--- link link link

Yo, Groovy Chainsaw's necro guys
Your bits'll fly around if I can roll these dice
Unless I guess you also think that plan is fine
We'll wind up in a mess trading blows across the halfway line
And did you think your ghoul could ever win
Well look at me, I'm-a standing up again
I dodged a blitzer round in time to save the day
And if I can only just push that golem then I will get away
but I didn't see
he had stand firm well I feel a bit stupid
Look at that his wolf survived, the agile little bastard
Well I have sidestep, this ain't over yet
Putting all my pieces round that lunar-lover, close the net
Count is passing (yeah yeah yeah)
Wolf is scoring (yeah yeah yeah)

God knows it'll be hard to win
But harder still now I'm rolling skulls again
The threats I made of how I'd cut you down
Well they look a bit misguided now, confound you clowns
I'm still blitzing better than I ever did
Tryin' to stop that wolf surviving, at least for a little bit
Pythagoras picks it up at last
Sending off my chebyshev to score with yet another pass
I'm still standing (yeah yeah yeah)
Not disbanding (yeah yeah yeah)

SOLO

You're receiving with four turns to go
Looking for the long pass to your ghoul and bloody lycanthrope
But you've no rerolls to rescue your plight
Picking up a double skull and now your thrower's in my sights
One more chance now (yeah yeah yeah)
Blitz that wolf down (yeah yeah yeah)
But he's still standing (yeah yeah yeah)
And he's still dodging (yeah yeah yeah)
But he's still missing (yeah yeah yeah)
I guess we're drawing (yeah yeah yeah)

Full time score: 1-1

I didn't think the Count was the best choice for his inducements but strength five, block, sidestep is a horrible combination if you can't thin numbers and I caused no casualties. It was only after I knocked out one golem at the end of the first half that I could do anything at all. Draw was probably fair enough, we both had chances to win but couldn't roll the necessary dice.

Jolima
09-04-2012, 10:01 PM
I just won a costly victory against Janek's Necro. A great score of 5-0 but my one-SPP-from-level-4 AG5 thrower was fouled to death and rose again as a zombie while a level 4 lineelf with guard got -AV. (The match yesterday which Cyanide wouldn't count was 4-1 with no lasting injuries.)

I think that'll have to do for a report this time.

Indefatigible Snoozer
09-04-2012, 11:47 PM
Wed at 12pm BST sounds good. I have the week off so don't worry if something comes up at the last minute.

Plans have firmed up. Can we do Friday instead? We can do a bit later than 12 BST if that would be more convenient for you - I'm actually free all day (after 12, being about the earliest I"ll be up).

ChainsawHands
10-04-2012, 10:38 AM
Chainsawhands, it's time to feed the goats. I'm going to be away from Monday to Friday evening, but I can make pretty much any time outside that.I could probably do Friday evening if you'll be back by then, otherwise... Sunday evening?

Prester John
10-04-2012, 02:53 PM
Hello Prester! I am away until Wednesday evening this week, but am then off work and relatively free for those few days until the Saturday deadline with a bit of notice.

Hi, I'm around til Thursday and then off for the weekend... so looks like Wednesday or Thursday evening, either is good for me, after about 7pm is usually best.

President Weasel
10-04-2012, 09:26 PM
The Appliance of Violence or How I learned to stop worrying and love the Mighty Blow

Storm Boyz (Orcs, President Weasel) 1 - 0 It's Catching (Nurgle mans, Lowkey)

The halfling chef stole two of my rerolls in the first half, and three in the second half. It didn't matter (although it did mean I skulled out on a 2-dice block in turn 15, which allowed Lowkey's desperate last ditch defence to prevent me scoring the second touchdown).
The bloodweiser babes kept waking up the nurgle mans. It didn't matter (I kept hitting them; they kept breaking).
I only had three black orcs, for some reason. It didn't matter (Lowkey only had 3 plague warriors, for some reason).

Lowkey was doing all right for a few turns, until he foolishly picked up the ball. His Beast had shrugged off my repeated gang fouls, being merely stunned. His rotters and nurgle mans had ridden the mighty blows like Rocky faced with Clubber Lang (http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=EltgaK1FCDs#t=263s) (after he'd been trained by Apollo Creed and recovered his self belief). This was... frustrating.

Then, when it was supposed to be my drive, a brave and foolish pestigor picked the ball up. The orcs seem to have found this annoying.
Suddenly the plaguey chaos mans were reacting to all the mighty blow like Rocky facing Clubber Lang, before the training montage (http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=kTbF5B1mlNw#t=138s). The first Rotter to fall sustained a fractured arm and a broken neck.

The orcs smashed a hole in the nurgle lines (by smashing holes in the nurgle mans), the AG4 MV5 black orc freak of nature that is Ugroth Eat Skulls scooped up the ball, TOUCHDOWN!

What's your prediction for the second half, Clubber Lang? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MIJJMa3y0ek&feature=related)

Lowkey had two chances to recover the four KO'd nurgle mans (turn 8 and half time) and three of them staggered to their feet. This was probably a mistake on their part, but at the time things looked pretty good for the nurgles, fielding nearly a full team against the orcs. The kickoff was Perfect Defence, and the orcs snuggled up close to the nurgle mans leaving only a bare handful out of base contact, then used their guard and strength advantage to win the melee.

Ugroth got the ball again, but couldn't quite get free of the few (and getting fewer) remaining nurgles. His turn 15 attempt to blitz the beast away and then wander towards the line failed (it is tempting to blame the chef, but I burn through the rerolls before turn 15 even when I start with all four); his turn 16 attempt to pick up the ball and hand off to a blitzer within easy scoring range failed when the blitzer couldn't hold on to the ball (I believe he was just inside the beast's disturbing aura field). The game finished 1-0 to the orcs, with 9 orcs on the field and about 4 nurgles.

grinn
11-04-2012, 01:00 AM
The Gears of Mork met the pretty Pink Pattisiers on Sunday.

The Pattisiers have a nice round 300K in inducements and go for an extra doc, an oiled up Lustrian cheerman (http://soundportraits.org/images/oldest_male_stripper/oldest_male_stripper-gallery-3.jpg) and a witch. (http://i2.listal.com/image/2552663/500full.jpg)
Drawliecoach wins the toss and opts for his culinary gals to kick to the Gears. The orcs knock the 'zons aside effortlessly (KOing one and stunning another) and cage up just over mid-pitch. Zeppi l-Hafi, the pro-thrower is comfortably defended by no less than seven greenskins. Slammed by a night of squig-skin snorting, Da Kowc forgets all about the witch. Drawliecoach gives her the wink and a fireball hits the cage knocking over four of the orcs, two of whom are stunned.

1104

The orcs respond by having Imangul Mifsud, the famous lino-poet, break Ms Applepie's jaw.

The ladies see their chance to knock the ball out of Zeppi's hands and the now-overly-naked-feeling thrower gets one-die slammed by an angry cake-maker. He's on the ground and the ball scatters behind a befuddled troll. The doc and his team are in time to save her, however.

Alkaia Star-Reader catches a failed pickup by Ms Alcinoe up the ball next to the troll and she gets blitzed by the downed Zeppi... El Buzobb the troll was meant to be guarding the unfortunate thrower, but ends up taking more interest in the newly discovered solar system in his second belly button, and leaves Zeppi to stun himself on Alkaia's dainty shoulderpad.

Alkaia sees her chance and dodges off towards the endzone... I'll let the clip below describe what follows:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4vcC2sl4a8&amp;list=UUueIQ15M1ZFCceDJiCRargg&amp; index=1&amp;feature=plcp

The ball is a mere 4 squares from the endzone but there are no pinkies in range to grab it. Kazz Ahmar (Orcish for red wang), the move boosted blodging lineman runs to cover it. The greenskins are still recovering from the fireball and only the lino is able to get close to the ball. The pink ladies form an L-shaped screen around the lino, but are not able to blitz him.

1106
The orcs rush back to cover the ball, but it is Kazz Ahmar that, dodges out of the two tackle zones, pushes Alcinoe away from the ball, and recovers it, one square from the sideline. The 'zons blitz Kazz, but their lack of tackling ability leaves him upright and deftly side-stepping away from an ineffective Gateaux.

The orcs start the re-roll-less turn with a good dose of lady-bashin, and it pays off, knocking two dainties out and stunning two others. There are now 4 ladies left on the field. Kazz dodges out of Gateaux's tackle zone, runs up to Zeppi the thrower, who passes the ball to the blodging Mintoff, who's sprinting to the end-zone. The one lady in the 'zons half, gets up, dodges out of a Black Orc's tackle zone and slams down Mintoff with a one-die, non-tackled block! She picks up the ball, but Mintoff responds by leaping to his feet and slamming Fruitcake into the ground, picking up the ball and sprinting into the endzone. 1-0 for the Gears on turn 8. The Gears get a blitz and charge Gateaux for a second time with their murderous Gonzi, but for the third time in the match he fails to scratch her smooth, chocolatey skin.

The Gears kick to the Pattisiers in the second half. No sooner has Imangul kicked the ball than the orcs blitz, once again, into the 'zons half. Kazz Ahmar tries to get under the ball while the rest of the team crowd the ladies in the hope of a good dose of orcy bashin. Da Kowc, worried that a few careful dodges will put the Gears in a very awkward position screams at Imagul to run to the orcy endzone, ready to catch the oncoming attack.

The 'zons try to advance up the left flank and send Alkaia towards the Gears' endzone, her head still bandaged from the previous half. The orcs crowd the ladies once again and knock one out. Lardy Cake, the 'zon thrower runs up and passes to Gateuax, who is sprinting towards the endzone. The orcs resume their storm of cake-mashing, knocking two 'zons out. Gateaux is within scoring range but she is within easy reach of the frenzied Gonzi.

1107
Suppoted by Agatha Barbara he slams into Gateaux once again and this time sends her straight to the infirmary.

The 'zons try a daring one-die block on Agatha, followed by a dexterous Lardy Cake picking up the ball from under Gonzi's tackling nose, dodging out and passing to Alkaia...

...who fails the catch (to be fair to her, there was a tackling lino-poet on her).

Gonzi knocks out Lardy Cake, the thrower menace. Not wanting to disappoint the fans, Zeppi the thrower picks up the ball and passes to Mintoff once again, who, this time, fails the catch. There are only four ladies left to the Gears' eleven, which makes things improbable for them. From then on the Gears have an easy time bullying the Pattisiers into the ground and languidly waltzing the ball into the endzone.

1108

The game ends with a 2-0 scoreline. Both sides had their fair share of bad luck, but Drawlien rolled the wrong dice at the wrong time. An exciting game whose scoreline does not reflect how close it actually was. Well until the cake makers got gingerly spread into a frosty field, that is ;p

President Weasel
11-04-2012, 01:50 AM
Chariots of Fire was an excellent choice.

duff
11-04-2012, 06:12 AM
Plans have firmed up. Can we do Friday instead? We can do a bit later than 12 BST if that would be more convenient for you - I'm actually free all day (after 12, being about the earliest I"ll be up).

Typically, Friday is the only day this week I can't play at a certain time. I'm definitely out in the morning until about 2 or 3pm and then I'm pretty sure I'll be off out again for the night, though there may be a window to play between 3 and 5 depending on how late I get home. Although I wouldn't really want to set this as a time as I could easily be late and I don't want to screw up your holiday plans.

I should be able to play Sat or Sun after about 3pm if that helps?

Jiiiiim
11-04-2012, 11:31 AM
That is an amazing video Grinn :D

Indefatigible Snoozer
11-04-2012, 02:51 PM
Oh Oracles of Blood Bowl wisdom - I have encountered a new and strange error. I'm in the US of A, which may play some role, but I'm trying to open BB and I get a steam error message saying "Game not available. Try again later." No attempt to load, nothing. Going to delete and reinstall, but has anyone ever dealt with something similar?
*Edit*: Magically resolved.

Indefatigible Snoozer
11-04-2012, 02:52 PM
Typically, Friday is the only day this week I can't play at a certain time. I'm definitely out in the morning until about 2 or 3pm and then I'm pretty sure I'll be off out again for the night, though there may be a window to play between 3 and 5 depending on how late I get home. Although I wouldn't really want to set this as a time as I could easily be late and I don't want to screw up your holiday plans.

I should be able to play Sat or Sun after about 3pm if that helps?

Subject to me resolving the issue above, can we do midday BST tomorrow (Thursday)?

Jiiiiim
11-04-2012, 02:54 PM
Snoozer, I've got that message from time to time when Steam has been doing a massive update on TF2 or when everybody on earth is downloading one game (DXHR caused some issues I think). It doesn't tend to last more than a few minutes, though.

Indefatigible Snoozer
11-04-2012, 03:36 PM
Snoozer, I've got that message from time to time when Steam has been doing a massive update on TF2 or when everybody on earth is downloading one game (DXHR caused some issues I think). It doesn't tend to last more than a few minutes, though.

Lasted overnight, but has magically resolved itself in the last 10 minutes. Thanks for the info though Jiiiiim.

grinn
11-04-2012, 03:39 PM
That is an amazing video Grinn :D

Thanks! Really enjoyed putting it together. Will try to do more video and less waffle for my next reports. Didn't realize the last one was so long until I published it. Need to go from Anna Karenina reports to haiku reports. The road is windy and littered with freaked out snotlings.

laneford
11-04-2012, 05:46 PM
Hi, I'm around til Thursday and then off for the weekend... so looks like Wednesday or Thursday evening, either is good for me, after about 7pm is usually best.

Ok, I'll be around tonight, possibly tomorrow. Ping me on steam basically, (link below)

drawlien
11-04-2012, 07:23 PM
I'd forgotten about that GFI. There are clearly advantages to playing when ill if it helps you forget stuff like that. If only your opponent wouldn't go and post a video about it! *Sigh*

laneford
11-04-2012, 11:33 PM
Myself and Prester attempted to play our game tonight, it was 3-1 to me with two turns left, before my router reset itself momentarily, which was enough to force a disconnection. (seriously, what is the point with that reconnection dialogue when it never reconnects?)

We're going to attempt to replay tomorrow, otherwise we'll set up a compromise by setting the result as 3-2 to me.

Please don't move the league on early just in case we're sorting it out!

Indefatigible Snoozer
12-04-2012, 04:11 AM
Subject to me resolving the issue above, can we do midday BST tomorrow (Thursday)?

Got to go to bed, Duff me boy. I will set my alarm for 12 BST, though so hopefully see you then.

Screwie
12-04-2012, 06:39 PM
Sorry Zoraster, I've been hauled up in bed with a pounding headache and fever all day. I doubt I will be able to play tonight.

Indefatigible Snoozer
12-04-2012, 07:33 PM
Mommy's Boys (Snoozer) vs Skinkinators (Duffin)

A monologue on violence, and unfortunately for Duffin, I was doing all the talking.
By the end of the game, I believe there were 5 lizardmen in the injury box, and one KO'd in the first half who never woke up.

Electing to receive in the first half, the ball went deep. After some initial scuffling on the LoS, he failed his first pick-up, and then the hurtin' began. Casualties mounted steadily, as he tried to drive down the right flank. But the block dice just weren't co-operating, nor were the GFI dice as the ball-carrying skink failed and stunned itself as it neared the TD line. To add insult to even more injuries, I first knocked down the Krox with a 2D against block, and then fouled him out without getting sent off.

I scooped up the ball and made a run for the line, but Duff's wizard actually worked for once and zapped the ball carrier on turn 7. A skink swooped in and scuttled to safely, leaving the scoreline 0-0 at half time.

With a depleted team, I thought it would be easy to stall to a 1-0 victory. Duff made me work for it though. I wasn't helped by accidentally clicking the End Turn button before doing anything on the first turn. Duffin however was an extremely good sport and also ended turn. That of course made me feel bad, especially when I injured another Saurus on the line with my first block. But its also the kind of act that makes this league great.

Duff managed to get some skinks into my half as road blocks, but I managed to neutralise most of his threats. The ball was proceeding up the pitch at a reasonable rate, with only a few skinks threatening. I drew further players away from the ball carrier to box in his saurii, leaving a half-cage that I thought would be more than adequate. However, some skink-manouvering and a luck 2D against block saw my ball carrier crowd-surfed, and the ball settled three spaces from the TD line on turn 14.

I moved my remaining ball carriers to within range, but Duff managed to put two markers on the ball. I blitzed a marking skink onto the ball, and lucky bounces saw it bounce clear. Still not a sure thing, especially after my AG 3 blitz-ra failed his first pickup, forcing me to use my reroll. Two GFIs remained to score on my last turn, and....I made it.

Final score 1-0 to the Boys.

As a post-script, many of you may recall Man Pointing in Two Directions, my Block Frenzy TG who tragically re-died in action. He has been re-reborn in the form of Kneeling Woman Holding Ankh, who rolled her second career double and took frenzy to accompany her block. Fear her.

Zoraster
12-04-2012, 07:53 PM
No worries Screwie. The last thing you’ll want is to be starring at a monitor, let alone to play BB. We are running out of time to get this one in though with the deadline on Saturday. Could you manage 13:00 Saturday by any chance? That is the only available option without diary juggling so if not give me some options and I’ll try to make a suitable gap.

Feel better bud.

Prester John
12-04-2012, 11:34 PM
Myself and Prester attempted to play our game tonight, it was 3-1 to me with two turns left, before my router reset itself momentarily, which was enough to force a disconnection. (seriously, what is the point with that reconnection dialogue when it never reconnects?)

We're going to attempt to replay tomorrow, otherwise we'll set up a compromise by setting the result as 3-2 to me.

Please don't move the league on early just in case we're sorting it out!

Looks like this is to be the score. Every game gets the team closer to true competitiveness... then i'll have only incompetence to blame for losses....

Laneford wins 3-2

ChainsawHands
13-04-2012, 10:48 AM
I could probably do Friday evening if you'll be back by then, otherwise... Sunday evening?NieA7 - haven't heard back so I'm guessing tonight's not on, I should be able to do some time between say 10am and 2pm tomorrow too if that's any use?

Screwie
13-04-2012, 11:10 AM
No worries Screwie. The last thing you’ll want is to be starring at a monitor, let alone to play BB. We are running out of time to get this one in though with the deadline on Saturday. Could you manage 13:00 Saturday by any chance? That is the only available option without diary juggling so if not give me some options and I’ll try to make a suitable gap.

Feel better bud.

Thanks, I have recovered somewhat so I will be around this weekend. 1pm on Saturday sounds dandy, I will make sure to be around then.

NieA7
14-04-2012, 12:36 AM
NieA7 - haven't heard back so I'm guessing tonight's not on, I should be able to do some time between say 10am and 2pm tomorrow too if that's any use?


Sorry Hands, only just got myself back together. Tomorrow at midday sounds OK to me.

Jolima
14-04-2012, 10:19 PM
That's another round ended and a new set of matches ready to be played! Good going everyone.

President Weasel
15-04-2012, 12:06 AM
Hughtower!

Face me!

At a convenient time!


(wierd, I could have sworn I typed that in caps, on purpose, to be more Orcy. Did a mod de-capify it?)

Jiiiiim
15-04-2012, 12:09 AM
LANEFORD! FACE SOMEBODY ELSE!

Then I can sneak around the back and kill your guys. When?

groovychainsaw
15-04-2012, 06:40 AM
Jolima- I believe it's the battle of the bossmen! You around this morning at all? If not, when suits you this week?

laneford
15-04-2012, 12:53 PM
JIM! I WANT A SONG!

I have a well busy week. So could we squeeze in a game today maybe? (Not during the hours 4-8pm mind)

Janek
15-04-2012, 01:32 PM
Snoozer: Can pretty much do any evening this week. It is up to yooooou.

Zoraster
15-04-2012, 05:11 PM
Duffin when do you wish to get it on? At the moment can do during the day from Wednesday onwards or any evening bar Monday. If we leave it until the very end note my parents are coming up on Friday week so I'll probably be unavailable most of the day.

drawlien
15-04-2012, 07:22 PM
Hey Prester John. I've got a pretty busy week, I could play tonight if we start in the next hour! Since that's pretty unlikely, how is next weekend in the evenings for you?

Screwie
16-04-2012, 12:06 PM
Cliffnotes version of my match against Zoraster:

I managed to have a cracking good first half with a drive that lasted until turn 6 or so before losing the ball really close to the line. My looney had a bad day, only KO-ing one norseman before getting himself sent off (with a bribe failure) after whiffing a foul on another. My fanatic did pretty well for him, doing his part in making it extremely difficult for Zoraster's Guard-lite team to make a dent in my cage. My bomber also did great, causing some nice damage with a few great pitches. Alas he was KO-ed and then the bribe to use him again failed as well. My luck really turned at the end of the first half, oof :(

The second half was all norse. I lost a lot of guys to KOs and BHs and had to resort to TTM shenanigans to stay in the match. Zoraster scored his first touchdown early in the second half and, when my TTM response failed badly, he stole the ball and scored again.

2-0 to Zoraster.

Also somewhere in there my level 2 gobbo with Jump Up, Wollet, was beaten to death. Poor little guy. No other permanent injuries to report, however. And at least my trolls didn't eat anyone for once!

---

EDIT:

MrPrier, when are you available for our game?

I can feasibly fit you in Monday/Thursday/Friday after 8pm, or any time next weekend.

Prester John
16-04-2012, 12:42 PM
Hey Prester John. I've got a pretty busy week, I could play tonight if we start in the next hour! Since that's pretty unlikely, how is next weekend in the evenings for you?

Hi,

I'm free every evening except friday, next Sat or Sun evening should be fine? Any preference?

drawlien
16-04-2012, 12:55 PM
Shall we go for Saturday at about 8.30pm?

mrpier
16-04-2012, 01:25 PM
Screwie - Thursday/Friday/weekend all sounds good provided I get my internet back, last I heard it should be back by evening tomorrow.

Screwie
16-04-2012, 03:20 PM
Ok then, will catch you later in the week hopefully.

duff
16-04-2012, 05:48 PM
Duffin when do you wish to get it on? At the moment can do during the day from Wednesday onwards or any evening bar Monday. If we leave it until the very end note my parents are coming up on Friday week so I'll probably be unavailable most of the day.

A daytime game on wednesday would be just perfect, like around 12 - 3pm start would be my sweet spot?

Prester John
16-04-2012, 06:31 PM
Shall we go for Saturday at about 8.30pm?

Game On!!!!!!

NieA7
16-04-2012, 10:28 PM
Grinn, I like, totally need to be playing you, like, twice, so I'll cut you a deal - I'll let you thrash and horribly murder my gobbos in the Open if you don't horribly murder my Necro's in the Divs.

Jolima
16-04-2012, 11:13 PM
Jolima- I believe it's the battle of the bossmen!

Hi Groovy, I can play on Tuesday, Wednesday or the weekend. What works best?

President Weasel
16-04-2012, 11:15 PM
Grinn, I like, totally need to be playing you, like, twice, so I'll cut you a deal - I'll let you thrash and horribly murder my gobbos in the Open if you don't horribly murder my Necro's in the Divs.

I'm pretty sure he'll fold, spindle, and mutilate your teams just fine without any help. I still have cleat marks in my forehead from last season.

NieA7
16-04-2012, 11:31 PM
I'm pretty sure he'll fold, spindle, and mutilate your teams just fine without any help. I still have cleat marks in my forehead from last season.

So much for that cunning plan then. The game against Chainsawhands did not go well, highlights of the 2-0 loss included the loony holding the wrong end of the chainsaw again and the fanatic getting a MNG on a re-rolled GFI, while hands set about systematically murdering the rest of the team (I think I was down to two trolls out of three and no gobbos by the end of the match). I may have to give up my title aspirations at this point...

President Weasel
16-04-2012, 11:37 PM
I never bother with title aspirations. I prefer to aim for a mixture of mid table respectability and gleeful carnage. For me, the RPS Open is all about the journey and not the destination.

NieA7
16-04-2012, 11:59 PM
With their grand total of precisely 0 points the Underfoot Crawlers get vertigo just thinking about the mid table. Respectability is something that happens to teams who don't get half priced bribes.

Jiiiiim
17-04-2012, 12:11 AM
Why the hell did I pick a song with this many words

grinn
17-04-2012, 12:45 AM
Why the hell did I pick a song with this many words

Increased lyrical ability requires a commensurate increase in challenge to keep you in the aural flow state.

grinn
17-04-2012, 12:48 AM
Which shall we do first? Meet tomorrow night at 9pm UK time for a go at either of them?


Grinn, I like, totally need to be playing you, like, twice, so I'll cut you a deal - I'll let you thrash and horribly murder my gobbos in the Open if you don't horribly murder my Necro's in the Divs.

Zoraster
17-04-2012, 05:29 AM
A daytime game on wednesday would be just perfect, like around 12 - 3pm start would be my sweet spot?

From that window I will select 14:00 if I may.

LowKey
17-04-2012, 08:18 AM
I never bother with title aspirations. I prefer to aim for a mixture of mid table respectability and gleeful carnage. For me, the RPS Open is all about the journey and not the destination.

If i finish not bottom then im claiming this season a win for me, dont worry niea7 youve yet to play my paper mache men

NieA7
17-04-2012, 09:07 AM
Which shall we do first? Meet tomorrow night at 9pm UK time for a go at either of them?

Tomorrow at 9:00 should be fine, how about we get the Open done first?

duff
17-04-2012, 10:42 AM
From that window I will select 14:00 if I may.

Saucy, see you then.

grinn
17-04-2012, 01:41 PM
Sure, see you tonight.

Jiiiiim
17-04-2012, 07:41 PM
Note: The following is only because Laneford's team is made up of the early stars of hip-hop. I will return to your regularly scheduled terrible power ballads next week.

Ultimate Maths Squad (Jim, humans) v 3 Feet High & Rising (Laneford, helves)

link link ---> http://www.mediafire.com/?ma8ej9nzf46m1da <--- link link

i said a he killed Cheby, hit 'im
with a rock hard block, a ya daren't look
the bash it was a case of bury not apothecary
cos I'd used it on Bernoulli not he

now what you hear is not the start--i'm cutting to the chase
but me, the humies, and Laneford are gonna try to put it in place
you see i am Mr Jim and i'd like to say hello
to the orcs to the nurgle, the dwarfs and the lizards, who bash and pass and throw
but first i gotta ready up, inducements, a deducement
that a wizard would help to knock the ball loose then
let's rock, we dont stop
Unless an odd sync error makes us drop
well so far you've heard my choices and it's time to hit the turf
We're about to start the very first half a
come on, now, win's a cert

check it out, i'm the J-i-i-i-the-i-i-m
and these elves are oh-so-high
ya see i kick to the line then dash into the mix
and these elves they start to die
ya see i'm super strong and though they run long
well i make them roll
ya see i got more guard than imperial rome and i slowly wrest control
i got their hands full, they got triple skulls
give that catcher such a whack
i got the ball in such a maul through their faultering attack
so Laneford leaps, into the deep
hits my carrier, ain't that clever?
but a little pain ends that horrible reign
of acrobatic jumping terror
hear me talkin bout textbook crowdsurfs
pushing elves who wanna spend some time alone
while laneford's artful dodger proves just to be a codger
as he falls and breaks his bones
everybody go get ball long stall whatcha gonna do 'bout that (say what)
four elves left, no matter how deft
are gonna have their plays fall flat
everybody go, just wait turn eight then run it in
say there ain't no time for him to do, more or less anything
Alright team, we got this
As long as we are not shit

well it's on n n on n on on n on
the elves are back and it's a brand new dawn
Kickin' a touchback, for Euclid to catch back, and trundle slowly up
there's burly mathmen around him
in case his boots they try to scuff
well, Dan Bernoulli gets kicked in the jewelry
and all the apo does is say
His only suggestion, a quiet question
I guess he might miss the next game
now they're feelin the highs and I'm feelin the lows
the beatdown starts to get right up my nose
ya start messin' up dodges and hating the blodgers
and movin your guys like inelegant sloggers
and then damn, when it can't get worse
i said damn, in this tragic verse
he pulls back a fist, with a flick of the wrist
and adds poor pafnuty to the casualty list
i said a he killed Cheby, hit 'im
with a rock hard block, a ya daren't look
the bash it was a case of bury not apothecary
cos I'd used it on Bernoulli not he
i make a worried face and lose my place
in a panic comes the manic triggered wizard waste
singin on n n on n on n on
the catchers are racin' to make it one-one
To so very nearly equalise
But Gauss in the house cuts him down to size
pop the ball to pythag, you don't dare drag
out the play yall, pass it up to that guy
i guess by now you can take a hunch
and guess that Euler's gonna finish that bunch
He's silky smooth, in a single move
snatches the catch and then slots in the groove
runnin on n n on n on n on
the guy dont stop until we've surely won
runnin on n n on n on on n on
Then score yall! throw it on the floor
We gonna cheer here, we gonna cheer there
We gonna cheer you outta this atmosphere
Euler's one of a kind and I'll say it loud
selling t-t-tickets to the eager crowd
i said 2 turns to go, Laneford tries a wonder throw
It doesn't take yall, and we try it back
cause I'm guaranteed to not get the sack
I said 2-nil hooray for maths but still somehow, at the back of my mind...
i said a he killed Cheby, hit 'im
with a rock hard block, a ya daren't look
the bash it was a case of bury not apothecary
cos I'd used it on Bernoulli not he

Final Score: 2-0 to Maths

Though it was bloody close to 1-1, I just seized up in the second half, like some fantasy version of Everton in that semi-final.

grinn
17-04-2012, 11:54 PM
:o -standing ovation! That must have been a bastard to put together - nicely composed :)

ChainsawHands
18-04-2012, 12:45 PM
LowKey! I should be free Thursday night and Sunday afternoon / evening, and I'm off work next week so most times then would also be fine. When's good for you?

duff
18-04-2012, 01:28 PM
Zor - just to let you know my connection is playing up this morning, though it seems okay now. If I'm missing at 14:00 you can add me on steam and I can chat via my mobile to let you know whats happening. http://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198004277357/

Zoraster
18-04-2012, 02:24 PM
Yeah, that was def unplayable :) Don't know if you had quit or not by the end there but I was locked up waiting for your wizard so as we'd agreed to call it I just alt-F4ed out.

So any thoughts for the next attempt? Saturday is out and the chap who leeches my BB has a game at some point but otherwise I'm pretty much open whenever.

LowKey
18-04-2012, 05:03 PM
Thursday night would be great for me, shall we say 8?

ChainsawHands
18-04-2012, 05:15 PM
8 on Thursday it is.

laneford
18-04-2012, 06:01 PM
I like rapping Jim.

He's my favourite.

grinn
18-04-2012, 09:15 PM
Gears of Mork and Underfoot Crawlers played yesterday. Here is the haiku-match-report:


http://youtu.be/QnxUM9q36vE

PS the timing's not precise as I recorded the tune as I mixed it (and am still pretty noobish on the decks).

NieA7
18-04-2012, 10:21 PM
Bias! I totally broke the jaw of Grinn's troll on the last turn!

...Yeah, nothing to be proud of after that mountain of corpses XD I was particularly impressed by one of my trolls who failed a 2+ break tackle, made the loner re-roll, failed it again, then next turn failed another 2+ break tackle, failed the loner roll and badly hurt itself. Meanwhile Grinn was steadily injuring about one gobbo a turn, leaving me with very little on the pitch by the end.

laneford
18-04-2012, 10:28 PM
DEATH DEATH DEATH

Ouch ouch ouch ouch and can I add, I'm scared.

grinn
18-04-2012, 10:57 PM
Bias! I totally broke the jaw of Grinn's troll on the last turn!

...Yeah, nothing to be proud of after that mountain of corpses XD I was particularly impressed by one of my trolls who failed a 2+ break tackle, made the loner re-roll, failed it again, then next turn failed another 2+ break tackle, failed the loner roll and badly hurt itself. Meanwhile Grinn was steadily injuring about one gobbo a turn, leaving me with very little on the pitch by the end.

Poor gobbos were bullied by a team twice their value and a bit and, to add insult to a lot of injury, rolled terrible dice. Mork was feeling festive yesterday!

LowKey
19-04-2012, 08:08 PM
chaaaainnnnnsaaaawwwwhaaaaaannnnnnddddddddsssss

President Weasel
19-04-2012, 08:16 PM
Ouch ouch ouch ouch and can I add, I'm scared.

You should be, Grinn's orcs beat mine like a red-headed step-child. They're a bit tasty.

LowKey
19-04-2012, 09:44 PM
moooorrrrrgggggg 'nnnnnnnn' thoooooorrrrrrrgggggg

ChainsawHands
19-04-2012, 09:54 PM
moooorrrrrgggggg 'nnnnnnnn' thoooooorrrrrrrggggggNothing quite like seeing 430K of inducements BH itself off the pitch. ;-)

duff
20-04-2012, 12:00 AM
Yeah, that was def unplayable :) Don't know if you had quit or not by the end there but I was locked up waiting for your wizard so as we'd agreed to call it I just alt-F4ed out.

So any thoughts for the next attempt? Saturday is out and the chap who leeches my BB has a game at some point but otherwise I'm pretty much open whenever.

Hey yeh I did d/c so yeh it was literally unplayable aswell as being just bloody annoying. I could possibly play tommorow afternoon at about 4pm if thats any good? Not sure about sat or sun yet I will find out tommorow.

Zoraster
20-04-2012, 05:24 AM
Yeah I could manage 16:00 today. I was planning on knocking off work then and doing the housework so there is a natural opening. I can't start much later than 16:00 though as I'll be needing to get the dinner on.

Screwie
20-04-2012, 09:54 AM
How is your internet looking Mr Prier? Any chance we might fit our game in tonight?

mrpier
20-04-2012, 10:52 AM
I have really no idea, I wouldn't count on it though. I'll let you know when I got my connection back.

Screwie
20-04-2012, 11:40 AM
Okie doke. Good luck with your net.

duff
20-04-2012, 01:28 PM
Yeah I could manage 16:00 today. I was planning on knocking off work then and doing the housework so there is a natural opening. I can't start much later than 16:00 though as I'll be needing to get the dinner on.

We might have to scrap this, it's chucking it down here again and I've already dropped connection twice. Think I'm gonna give plusnet a ring and see if theres a problem in the area. I'll hang around and see if it gets any better.

EDIT: Yeh I can't even join a BF server without getting the orange disconnect icon and a ton of lag. Really don't think it's worth playing right now as it seems even worse than the other day. I can play tommorow daytime or most days next week aswell.

Zoraster
20-04-2012, 04:06 PM
Bah...I guess I'll have to do the bloody ironing then :( It does sound like my water ingress suggestion may be on the mark. Hope not as it is a right pain getting that sorted, especially if your phone line is unbundled. Openworld are bad enough when working for BT.

I'm tied up with She Who Must be Obeyed on the morrow so how about Tuesday or Wednesday 16:00?

mrpier
21-04-2012, 09:02 AM
Screwie - I'm online again, I'm available almost all day tomorrow and most afternoons next week.

Screwie
21-04-2012, 09:08 AM
Cool! I can face you tomorrow, anytime you like.

Jolima
21-04-2012, 10:35 AM
So, Groovy, I could play anytime today, tomorrow morning or most evenings next week. What suits? (Write me on Steam if you want something on short notice.)

President Weasel
21-04-2012, 11:42 AM
'Tower, are you back yet?

Prester John
21-04-2012, 10:49 PM
Hard fought draw between the Red Rose of Love and Pink Patisserie Panthers. The Rose has a wizard and apoc in inducements but looked far behind in the skill department. Recieving the kick the Rose drove forward and formed a semi box. The semi being the important part as the Panthers took the rose from behind and knocked the ball free. The rest of the first half was a messy ball possesion fight with the Panthers eventually winnning but muffing some rolls on the last turn 0-0 to the half.

Second half Panthers get the ball and roll forward. At the halfway line with four Panthers including the ball carrier making the best target yet a fireball is loosed, hitting only one out of four but that one is the ball carrier. Wardancer jumps in and grabs the balls. Somehow the Rose manage to get the ball into the endzone in the next couple of turns but it uses the last of the re-rolls.

With half the half! left the Panthers get forward and despite dogged resistance the Rose cannot get a hit on the ball carrier and the score is evened on the last turn by the Panthers. Rose get the ball for one turn but fail to pick up for the gratuitous pass.

groovychainsaw
22-04-2012, 10:12 AM
Hi Jolima, I'm on this morning, but don't see you about. I've got to head out at lunchtime. If not, one evening this week should be fine (I've already pencilled in monday night for my DoD game).

duff
22-04-2012, 01:59 PM
Bah...I guess I'll have to do the bloody ironing then :( It does sound like my water ingress suggestion may be on the mark. Hope not as it is a right pain getting that sorted, especially if your phone line is unbundled. Openworld are bad enough when working for BT.

I'm tied up with She Who Must be Obeyed on the morrow so how about Tuesday or Wednesday 16:00?

Football has claimed Tuesday so Wednesday it is. May need to start a little bit later than 4, I'll let you know for definite on Tuesday but sometime Wed afternoon / early evening should be fine.

EDIT: I'm starting to suspect it's a problem with my router. If I turn my router off and leave it for 10 minutes then switch it back on my connection seems to work again. Weird.

Zoraster
22-04-2012, 06:20 PM
How much is a bit? We’re entertaining Wednesday night so 17:00, 17:15 at a stretch, is really as late as I can go. Possibly if we don’t care about the health of my genitals we could go as late as 17:30 but I’m too much of a coward to contemplate anything later :)

duff
22-04-2012, 06:22 PM
How much is a bit? We’re entertaining Wednesday night so 17:00, 17:15 at a stretch, is really as late as I can go. Possibly if we don’t care about the health of my genitals we could go as late as 17:30 but I’m too much of a coward to contemplate anything later :)

Haha I'll make sure I've got 4pm clear then. We can start a bit earlyier if you like?

Zoraster
23-04-2012, 05:50 AM
Thanks for the offer Duff, but I'm getting squeezed from both directions on Wednesday. Got a teleconference starting at 13:00 so 16:00 is as early as I can go after lunch.

groovychainsaw
23-04-2012, 09:57 AM
Me and Jolima played yesterday, 490TV difference gaining me Luther von Drakenburg and an extra reroll for my Necrosfor my Necros. There's some pro-evles over there at level 6. Ulp.

As expected, my first receipt did not go well, a weak corner leading to an elf completing 3 dodges and a go for it in a blizzard to get the knockdown. The ball scatters favourably and Jolima is away for his first touchdown. I begin bashing his players for all I'm worth to force him to score quickly. 4 KOs (to 2 received) sees Jolima run in on turn 6 (after a near-miss from my wolf after he failed a dodge to take the ball off the pitch. Gah!). I completely mess up my turn 7 receive, forgetting 2 things:

1. There is a blizzard on, so nothing other than short passes - running a catcher deep into the endzone is not going to work here. 2. None of my players are really any good at dodging through lines.

I get bashy, but to no avail. 1-0 to Jolima at half time. Jolima receives, I force him to move the ball around a bit, he ends up in a cage on the right. I contrive to knock the ball out of the hands of his ball carrier, but it scatters favourably, leaving Jolima an easy run-in, turn 12. 2-0 Jolima. I'm out a couple of players, including my blodge sure hands ghoul, who is an ex-ghoul after being punched to death by the crowd. Jolima's still suffering from KOs mostly, with one badly hurt elf.

Still, come kick off, I receive the ball and Jolima only has 9 on the pitch now. I bash holes in the line, retrieve with Luther, throw a short pass to my wolf, then sprint for the endzone (nearly failing a goforit on the way, thanks, extra reroll!). I mark up nearly all the elves. It's going to require some dodges and hopefully a goforit to make the hit. The dodges work (one burns a reroll - thanks tackleman!) then finally the blitzer charges, makes a dodge, then fails the goforit (it WAS snowing, i guess?). A chance! I move people round then dodge the wolf away to score. 2-1 Jolima, 3 turns left.

I set up with my wolves right up on the line to kick. I need to get into the backfield ASAP. I get a blitz! But pushes mean none can get through and my wolves are greyed out as they were marked. Bugger - turns out that was the worst possible set up for a blitz. No-where near the ball, I mark up everyone I can. Jolima retreats into his backfield and has little success bashing back. I break through the centre, and KO another elf who was back to support the thrower. My ghoul and both wolves are through, and Jolima's thrower is back deep on his own. He will have to throw the ball to someone to get out of there safely. I lock down the line as best I can, getting more bashy now. Jolima moves across the pitch and throws a pass over my ghoul. Interception! The ghoul plucks it out the air! He runs for the endzone, the wolves hits the thrower, noone else is in range of the ghoul (even with 2 GFIs). I bash people down to prevent heroics, and that's it. Ghoul steps over, turn 16 to level the scores.

So, crikey. Never expected to come back from 2-0 down at turn 12. I guess the attrition finally bit Jolima a little, leaving enough holes for me to use my faster players. The first half was pretty tough though, with some weak positioning mistakes and bad luck with lost ball making life too easy for Jolima, particularly as he was matching me KO for KO. Another dead player leaves me yet again a bit weaker for my next game, and another big TV difference. At least I can hire my favourite vampire friend. I'm definitely getting better at playing with him on the pitch :-).

President Weasel
23-04-2012, 11:52 AM
Hughtower, are you back now?
I was looking forwards to breaking some rats - I've got a massively increased chance of winning the match if you fail to show up, but it's not going to be nearly as much fun.

drawlien
23-04-2012, 06:59 PM
Jolima: If Hughtower hasn't responded by the time Duff and Zor' have played their game on Wednesday can I request the league be moved on anyway?

I will be going away on Saturday for 9 days and so if I can't get my game against MrPier for the next round in before then I will have to concede it, which would be sad... I'll understand if you decide to wait for HT though.

Edit: mrpier has confirmed he is able to play me before I go if the league is moved on.

HughTower
24-04-2012, 08:27 AM
It's all about ME!

But seriously, apologies. Shall we try tonight, Pres? I'm working quite late at the mo so it'll probably have to be a 2130 start if that's ok.

drawlien
24-04-2012, 08:53 AM
Ah the man himself! :)

President Weasel
24-04-2012, 09:02 AM
Huzzah! I'll see you at about 2130 o'clock hours.

HughTower
24-04-2012, 02:32 PM
Huzzah! I'll see you at about 2130 o'clock hours.

I've just had a thought: is this an Azlop / Billy showdown?

President Weasel
24-04-2012, 02:37 PM
I believe it is, yes.

duff
24-04-2012, 05:32 PM
Go Azlop, Billy's a bastard.

President Weasel
24-04-2012, 09:25 PM
Gerald Throwington, Orc Thrower, looked around the Storm Boyz dressing room. It was strangely quiet, the only sound the slow, rythmic chewing of Einstein the Troll, who was eating a light, pre-game snack. (Nobody wanted to look too closely at what he was eating, once they'd checked it wasn't the team goblin this time. Whatever it was, it had something that looked rather like a shoe at one end)

"What's the matter, boys? It's game day! 16 turns of punching stuff, and we get paid for it! And it's rat men today, they snap like twigs, and most of them aren't even sneaky like those elf pricks with their "agility" and their "dodging" and their "sidesteps", la di da. Wankers."
Nobody met his eyes.
"Seriously boys, what the hell's the matter with you? You love a ruck, and rat mans are pansies!"

"You wasn't here last time we played these rats"
"no, I'm new. You know that"
"They gots da meanest rat ogre in da whole world"
"You're scared of a Rat Ogre? They're just big rats!"
"You weren't there, man! You weren't there! You ain't seen what dis nappy wearing psy-, pysk-, sico-, mad-arsed bastard can do!"

"All right, so we just need to come up with a plan to get rid of the rat ogre. Then we can wreck up the rest of them. What are we going to do?"


More silence. 11 pairs of eyes looked at him expectantly. (Einstein was still chewing, and had reached what looked remarkably like a knee pad).

"What? NOBODY has a plan? 12 of you (if you count the troll), and NOBODY has a plan?"

"We don't do plans. YOU is der quarter bash."

"I'm the WHAT?"

"Quarter bash. We is ALL bash. We see something, then we bash it. Azlop bashes it, then jumps on it's head for giggles. You is only meant to bash stuff one quarter of der time. The other, err, half of the time, you is meant to come up with plans, and maybe pick up der ball thing"

Gerald looked around the room again. There were nods. Orcs looked expectantly at him. The troll gnawed happily on an ankle.


"All right, how about this? We knock over the rat ogre. Then we all gather round him in a big circle. Then we stick the boot in!"
"what if it doesn't work though?"
"I thought of that - if it doesn't work, we do it AGAIN!"


Heads around the dressing room started nodding in agreement. This was an excellent plan. The new Quarter Bash was showing a lot of promise. If they were very lucky, maybe Billy Big Bollocks wouldn't snap this one's neck like a twig...

President Weasel
24-04-2012, 11:20 PM
Gerald Throwington sighed, and hung his head. "Well, they say no plan survives contact with the enemy", he muttered.

-"What are you talking about? Dat was AWESOMES!"
"But we took two injuries and a death! Including 'Replacement replacement blitzer' injuring himself trying a two dice against block on Billy Big Balls"
-"Hurr yeah, dat was ballsy! Stupid, but really ballsy!"
"Wait, that's his name? 'Replacement replacement blitzer' is his actual name?"
-"Wot? S'descriptive, innit?"
"Ok, so that guy got injured, and Billy took out a black orc for next game, and one of our lineorcs died after some random linerat blitzed him!"
-"Pff, he was some 0SPP no-mark, there's a dozen where he came from. We injured EIGHT of the rat mans! And we KO'd 5 of them, even if two of the buggers woke up. And your plan to stamp on Billy worked like one of dem clocky things! We won!"

"But they scored FOUR TOUCHDOWNS! And we didn't score any!"

-"wait, dem touchdown things are important?"


--------------------------
So yeah, that's pretty much what happened. I maimed the rats good and proper, especially in the second half, but they were already 2 touchdowns up from their blitz and their "let him think he's got a chance of scoring, then knock it out of bounds, then wheech it the whole length of the pitch for a touchdown". They received first in the second half, killed a lineorc, and then ran in a one turner.
I concentrated on hurting rats after that. Don't think I managed a single stat injury though, boo.

On the plus side, a quick check of Hughtower's team shows 4 of his team are sitting out the next match, including one who's picked up a back niggle. At least they know they were in a fight.

HughTower
25-04-2012, 02:22 PM
--------------------------
So yeah, that's pretty much what happened. I maimed the rats good and proper, especially in the second half, but they were already 2 touchdowns up from their blitz and their "let him think he's got a chance of scoring, then knock it out of bounds, then wheech it the whole length of the pitch for a touchdown". They received first in the second half, killed a lineorc, and then ran in a one turner.
I concentrated on hurting rats after that. Don't think I managed a single stat injury though, boo.

On the plus side, a quick check of Hughtower's team shows 4 of his team are sitting out the next match, including one who's picked up a back niggle. At least they know they were in a fight.

'Twas definitely bloody and fun. Two of those MNGs are Billy and my star 'vermin which will be hard to replace but I'm almost certain my strategic genius and marriage ties with Nuffle's second cousin-in-law will see me through.

Did at least Billy win the CAS war against Azlop? The big guy got two over 8 turns so on a {meaningless} pro rata metric, he must have done. Surely.

President Weasel
25-04-2012, 03:04 PM
I think the 8 casualties you suffered were 3 from failed dodges and GFIs and 5 throughout my team. 2 from my troll, and at least one from a mighty blow Black Orc. So I'm pretty sure Billy won the casualties over time war.
However if you want to measure it on casualties caused over casualties taken, Azlop didn't take any casualties and Billy's benched for the next game :)

Zoraster
25-04-2012, 06:04 PM
CAS rolls proved the difference as the Garfighters maintained the 100% record going into the final game of their nightmare run of fixtures next round. A 1-0 triumph in a blizzard that could have been very different had any skinks been on the field for much of the game. I also had the good fortune to take out the Break Tackle bar the Krox who was lured into the corner and pinned with a Fender as I stalled out.

The first half was a bit of a mare for the most part, but crucially the skinks were all off the pitch so I was pretty comfortable anyway. The Snow Troll spent the first 5 or 6 turns failing every wild animal roll but I did manage to break away with the ball with some cheesy AG4 dice defying action, only to suffer a deserved GFI failure with a 1 rerolled to 2 in the snow ending the half 0-0.

Second half saw the Lizards pretty hopelessly tied up and I stalled out the half trying to eliminate enough players to render the one turner impossible. There was one dicey moment when the Krox managerd to find the POW yet again on the BC but the lack of skinks told again despite a pretty good throw for the lizards. Only one skink made the KO roll after the score and Duff didn't even bother getting him in scoring range to try a bit of Krox ball to get the ball in his hands... the way the game had gone he'd have almost certainly killed the skink on a GFI even if the chain pishes and ball play had come off :)

Zoraster
25-04-2012, 06:05 PM
As that was the last game I've rolled the week and marked up the fixtures for Jol, so blame me if there are any errors. I haven't changed the deadline as I'm never sure what it will be :)

So Grinn, your unbeaten record takes on my 100% so something has to give... I've got my parents coming up here on friday so this weekend is probably a non-starter. Next week is currently open up to 20:00 BST each day.

Jiiiiim
25-04-2012, 08:08 PM
Alright Jolima when do you want to get mathed?

President Weasel
25-04-2012, 08:19 PM
Laneford, old pal, let's do a Blood Bowl.

Indefatigible Snoozer
26-04-2012, 12:32 PM
Prester John: I like long walks on the beach, cats and early Saturday/Sunday morning Khemri ball. Are you also so inclined? If so, I think we could make short and bloody music together.

I have a prediction for our game. My thro-ra just hit lvl 6, and, wonder of wonders, rolled my third team +AG increase. So, one of two things will happen in our game:
1. He will fail a GFI on his first turn, fall over, and die.
2. He will pass the ball in a semi-competent manner.

The oracle has spoken.

Screwie
26-04-2012, 12:41 PM
NieA7, we are due to face! Shall we have a goblin-vs-goblin double bill, back-to-back at the weekend?

Jolima
26-04-2012, 10:22 PM
Alright Jolima when do you want to get mathed?

Saturday? Around 10:03 am?

(Most of the weekend works.)

Also: Thanks Zo.

NieA7
26-04-2012, 11:55 PM
I don't know if my mind can take the sheer awesome of two gobbo games back to back, but there's only one way to be sure. Should be free most weekend, I'll leave steam up to arrange something.

grinn
27-04-2012, 12:43 AM
Holy crap snooze-man, i need to hire you for my skill rolls!! Have never seen as many str and ag boosts on a team!



Prester John: I like long walks on the beach, cats and early Saturday/Sunday morning Khemri ball. Are you also so inclined? If so, I think we could make short and bloody music together.

I have a prediction for our game. My thro-ra just hit lvl 6, and, wonder of wonders, rolled my third team +AG increase. So, one of two things will happen in our game:
1. He will fail a GFI on his first turn, fall over, and die.
2. He will pass the ball in a semi-competent manner.

The oracle has spoken.

grinn
27-04-2012, 12:48 AM
Hey Zoraster, we finally meet! It's been a long time coming this clash of ours ;p

I m away on the 2nd and 3rd this week. Tuesday have another match and monday work dinner. Could we make this Sunday? Don't have anything planned yet so any time could work.



As that was the last game I've rolled the week and marked up the fixtures for Jol, so blame me if there are any errors. I haven't changed the deadline as I'm never sure what it will be :)

So Grinn, your unbeaten record takes on my 100% so something has to give... I've got my parents coming up here on friday so this weekend is probably a non-starter. Next week is currently open up to 20:00 BST each day.

Zoraster
27-04-2012, 06:43 AM
If you don’t mind risking me potentially messing you around we could target 16:30 BST Sunday. I’d normally say I’m not available as there is a risk I’ll have to stand you up.

I have an evening commitment so it all depends on what time my parents head home. It is a long old drive for my father these days so they will leave before dinner but it is touch and go if it will be early enough. I’m sure you’ll appreciate I’m not going to be chivvying them out the door so I can play a computer game :)

Jiiiiim
27-04-2012, 07:18 AM
Alright Jolima I will SEE YOU THEN.

*ponders how best to spend inducements*

mrpier
27-04-2012, 08:27 AM
Played my match against Drawlien yesterday, my insufferable High Elfs against his Amazon pastries. Suffice to say I got badly trounced and outplayed. I think I had slightly below average luck on my rolls especially on a couple of dodge rolls and made a few mistakes, especially in the second half, but I never felt that it would have made much difference if everything had gone without a hitch anyway. So 3-0 to drawlien in a very well executed match by him.

Edit: Any tips on how to skill up my +1ST, +1MV, dodge catcher?

grinn
27-04-2012, 08:53 AM
Hey Zoraster, I understand the squeeze. If you're not sure it might be better to find another time as I would have stayed home just for the bloodbowl. Unless you can play later on that sunday.

Otherwise, I forgot to ask if you can play during the day on monday? I could actually find some time in the morning for example.





If you don’t mind risking me potentially messing you around we could target 16:30 BST Sunday. I’d normally say I’m not available as there is a risk I’ll have to stand you up.

I have an evening commitment so it all depends on what time my parents head home. It is a long old drive for my father these days so they will leave before dinner but it is touch and go if it will be early enough. I’m sure you’ll appreciate I’m not going to be chivvying them out the door so I can play a computer game :)

Zoraster
27-04-2012, 10:15 AM
Under those circumstances Grinn I’d definitely say not to go for Sunday. My availability is akin to an AG3 dodge. Should come off but you’d be a fool to trust it.

Monday I’ll be catching up on the backlog caused by not working today and the weekend so I’ve not got anything in the diary. From a personal point of view I’d rather something around lunchtime if you could do it to break up my day a bit, but there is nothing to stop a morning game. 07:00 BST?

Screwie
27-04-2012, 10:33 AM
Edit: Any tips on how to skill up my +1ST, +1MV, dodge catcher?

Hmm...

Block, just to be extra hard to knock him over?

Or Sprint for the 1TTD?

grinn
27-04-2012, 10:35 AM
Monday at 7am bst/ 8am Copenhagen time should work. Funny how I don't ever commit to meetings before 10 but happy to wake up early for blood bowl.

Vexing Vision
27-04-2012, 02:01 PM
Monday at 7am bst/ 8am Copenhagen time should work. Funny how I don't ever commit to meetings before 10 but happy to wake up early for blood bowl.

I am the same, actually. The reason is I can Bloodbowl naked, while most Meetings will frown upon this.


I also now have psychological advantage over my next three Bloodbowl-Opponents.


I'd also like to rejoin the Open again next season - not sure what team yet. Tempted to give Dwarfs a whirl, but will need to play some up first.

Janek
27-04-2012, 05:33 PM
Low Key: I guess we should get organised, um, any time at the weekend or after about 6pm UK time during the week. Go!

LowKey
27-04-2012, 05:38 PM
Dont think ill be free this weekend my good man, shall we say 8 monday night?

Janek
27-04-2012, 05:40 PM
Sounds good.

Prester John
27-04-2012, 05:45 PM
Prester John: I like long walks on the beach, cats and early Saturday/Sunday morning Khemri ball. Are you also so inclined? If so, I think we could make short and bloody music together.

I have a prediction for our game. My thro-ra just hit lvl 6, and, wonder of wonders, rolled my third team +AG increase. So, one of two things will happen in our game:
1. He will fail a GFI on his first turn, fall over, and die.
2. He will pass the ball in a semi-competent manner.

The oracle has spoken.

Mornings are difficult, mainly due to my two year old liking to press keys randomly whilst i'm on my puter... and the wife questioning whether playing BB really counts as parental supervision. It works for me but i lose that argument!
Any evening cept friday after 7ish works for me.

I predict much pain for my Elves, poor things.

Jiiiiim
28-04-2012, 11:33 AM
Something to ponder, Gents. Pythagoras rolled a double five on his skills today. What can I add to Block/Sure Hands/Pass/Accurate/Nerves of Steel/Kickoff return to make him extra awesome?

Considering Dodge, Strong Arm, and plain old safe throw. Also I could add back the point of movement that he lost about thirty games ago.

President Weasel
28-04-2012, 11:41 AM
Dump off, fend, any of the skills you mentioned, leader.
Pretty sure you still pay full price for a stat up even if you've got a corresponding stat minus, so the +mov might bloat your TV. Could still be worth it though.

laneford
28-04-2012, 01:55 PM
Laneford, old pal, let's do a Blood Bowl.

Sunday any good for your killer orcs sir?

President Weasel
28-04-2012, 05:57 PM
Sunday evening is pen and paper roleplay time, Sunday afternoon would work. 3 ish?

sketchseven
28-04-2012, 08:02 PM
When's the next season kicking off? I have a team entered in the Divisions of Death but would be cool to get one into the Open as well (I think I might have accidentally applied to join this already in BBLE).

Janek
28-04-2012, 08:06 PM
Still 8-9 matches left, about halfway through, so probably a good two or three months to go.

LowKey
28-04-2012, 08:11 PM
Plenty of time to train a team up!

laneford
28-04-2012, 10:53 PM
Sunday evening is pen and paper roleplay time, Sunday afternoon would work. 3 ish?

Should be fine with me.

20phoenix
29-04-2012, 03:20 AM
On the spreadsheet it lists unused races - are these races no one has picked or races that arent being used?

Jolima
29-04-2012, 09:14 AM
They are just the ones that no one has used yet, so they're the most preferred ones.

20phoenix
29-04-2012, 09:29 AM
They are just the ones that no one has used yet, so they're the most preferred ones.

Thanks :)

laneford
29-04-2012, 10:19 AM
Sunday evening is pen and paper roleplay time, Sunday afternoon would work. 3 ish?

Will be more like half three if that's ok.

The Brain
29-04-2012, 03:28 PM
Hi guys. I'm hoping to put a team into the open next season and was looking at what was available. Can I put my name down for Delfs or is it just a free for all on race picks? I'm going to start training a team up in the challenge league and would hate to spend ages on a team to find out i couldn't use it. Should I train several teams up just in case?

President Weasel
29-04-2012, 03:38 PM
I'd suggest playing the Divisions first. They're a short-form league (a season lasts three weeks) whereas the Open lasts ages.

President Weasel
29-04-2012, 03:39 PM
Gerald Throwington sighed, and prepared to go over it again.

"Listen, when you get the, what did you call it, 'ball thing', over the, 'line thing', you get a... Azlop?"

Azlop beamed. He knew this one. "One of dem touchdown things!" he said, proud of his hard-won knowledge of Blood Bowl, gained through 36 matches of bashing people in the face and then jumping on them.

"Right! Well done, Azlop. Now, why do we want 'touchdown things'?"

The room was silent. The Orcs shuffled their feet and looked at one another. Then veteran Black Orc line-monster Badruk Smashbrainz raised his hand, shyly. "Is it cos... then we get to line up again, and they has to stand next to us, and then they can try to hit us, but then we gets to hit them back?"

The orcs nodded their heads. They liked the 'hitting them back' part. Making the victims line up again was probably worth all that arseing about with the ball thing, now you put it that way.

"No!" said Gerald, despairingly. "It's because whoever scores the most touchdowns wins the game!"


The orcs looked at each other. Then they looked at Azlop. Azlop put his arm around Gerald's shoulders and said "Are you sure, boss? I mean, we've been doing this a long time. THis is the first time anyone's made a fuss about these touchdown things.
Listen, you know the chants, right? The ones our fans sing? There's "We are the orcs"* and "smash em in the face!"** and my favourite one "Kill all the elves and jump up and down on their bodies"***. I never heard any orcs sing anything like "score a numerically superior amount of touchdowns and win the game, ra ra ra!""

"RAA! RAA!" sang Einstein the Troll, happily. Everyone jumped a little, but it didn't seem to be the precursor to a killing spree so they went back to watching the conversation.

"You may have a point there, Azlop, but the other teams care about scoring more touchdowns than us!"

"Yeah, but we don't. Why should we give a stuff if they think they won, if their star player will never walk again? Far as we're concerned, it's the number of casualties what decides who wins. The fans agree with us too, our matches are always sold out"

"But I care, Azlop. I don't want some poxy elf wanker thinking he's won the match just because they can throw and catch the ball thing and get it over the line".

"Well, you're the best quarter bash we've ever had who hasn't been brutally murdered yet by another team, so if you really want us to score more of them touchdown things than the other buggers, we'll give it a go. As long as we still get to beat the crap out of them along the way..."

"Right then, boyz. It's poncy elfs today so the plan is simple. We stop them scoring touchdowns. We hurt them a lot. Then we brush aside the pitiful few who are left and win the match 1-0".

The Storm Boyz nodded happily, and prepared to take the field.










--------------------------------------------


* the classic chant "We are the Orcs" goes thusly:
"We are the Orcs!
We are the Orcs!
We are the Orcs!
(repeat)


**that's the one that goes:
"Smash em in the face!
RA RA RAAA
Kick em in the nads!
RA RA RAAA
Knock em all down and then stamp on their heads!"
(repeat)


*** a true high point of Orc culture, this chant is sung at every blood bowl match (regardless of the opponents) and whenever two or more orcs are gathered together for any occasion.
The lyrics are exactly as you'd expect.

President Weasel
29-04-2012, 05:06 PM
The Storm Boyz trooped cheerfully back into their dressing room.

"We got two of dem touchdowns boss! And dey only got two. Is that more or less than us?"
-"It's exactly the same, Badruk. It was what they call a 'draw'. You did very well today, boyz. That last touchdown, with a handoff and a pass, after it looked like the elfs had stolen the ball and were about to go 3-1 up? That was beautiful"

"Sorry we couldn't stop them scoring, they was dodging all over the place like, like, like elfs. And they got two of them "quick snaps" in a row, and one of their elfs ran the whole length of the half in one turn!"
"then he fell over, hurr hurr"
"yeah but he still scored next turn"
-"don't worry Boyz, you did good. I'm proud of you. And even Einstein got a touchdown!"


------------------------------------------------
Storm Boyz 2, Lanefords High Elves 2. And yes, my troll got a touchdown.
The opposition also took 3 casualties and 7KOs from a team of 11 players, yet still somehow managed to have 6 players on the field at the end. And through sheer ridiculous dodgery they almost stole the game at the last minute, but we got the ball back and elfballed an equaliser.

laneford
29-04-2012, 07:18 PM
He was a good troll.

sketchseven
30-04-2012, 05:01 PM
I'd like to put a Delf team forward for the next season if that's possible? I wasn't sure where to put my info on the spreadsheet.

Janek
30-04-2012, 07:52 PM
Looks fine, I guess you might as well plonk your details in the reserves bit of Players and Rules where they won't be forgotten at the end of the season (that was pretty much how I did it anyway)

sketchseven
30-04-2012, 08:24 PM
Done! ... in more than ten characters. Completed? Ah that's only nine. Hmmm.

Oh wait.

Prester John
30-04-2012, 10:53 PM
Prester John: I like long walks on the beach, cats and early Saturday/Sunday morning Khemri ball. Are you also so inclined? If so, I think we could make short and bloody music together.

I have a prediction for our game. My thro-ra just hit lvl 6, and, wonder of wonders, rolled my third team +AG increase. So, one of two things will happen in our game:
1. He will fail a GFI on his first turn, fall over, and die.
2. He will pass the ball in a semi-competent manner.

The oracle has spoken.

Called for and got. One dead Thro-Ra

2-1 to the Mummies

Indefatigible Snoozer
01-05-2012, 08:00 AM
Called for and got. One dead Thro-Ra

2-1 to the Mummies

Nuffle giveth, and Nuffle taketh away.

duff
01-05-2012, 01:46 PM
Hey Hughtower I'm pretty free the last half of this week, I can play Wed, Thurs, Fri or Sat night if you let me know a little in advance. Any time after 6 should be fine.

Jiiiiim
01-05-2012, 10:17 PM
Ultimate Maths Squad (Jim, humans) vs Elves of the Line (Jolima, elves)

link link link ----> http://www.mediafire.com/?v8aaiydml9ao4iv <---- link link link

It's not in the way that you hold off
It's not in the way you score for fun
It's not in the way you've been beating my friends
It's not in the way that you strongly defend
It's more in the way you duck and you dodge and you won't die you elves

of the line, not hurting you is a crime, oh so don't
hold the line, shoving for a gap to find, to run through

It's not in the way that you pull back, elves
It's not in the way you drag me in, ooh
It's not in the way that you always thwart me
It's not in the way that you get the ball free
It's not that you hit me back, it's more that you won't die you elves

of the line, not hurting you is a crime, and it's now
Ha-alf time, can't even push through the side, oh no goals

It's not in the way that you flood fowards
It's not in the way you hug the sides
It's not that your KOs came right back to me
It's not in the way that I just can't get free
It's more in the way you duck and I've no clue why you just don't die

Break the line, elf graves aren't that hard to find, oh god don't
Hold the line, we haven't got that much time, to score too
(elves aren't always on fire)

Break the line, elves are surrounded, it's fine
(god let them fall please, let them fall please)
Reach touchline, stalling is fun when it's mine, one-all I guess will be fine
elves just refusing to die, Nuffle you just weren't kind, oh oh oh

Fulltime: Maths 1-1 Elves

Not very exciting but a tremendous battle of wills, me desperately trying to hold onto the ball, Jolima desperately trying to relieve me of it. Eventually I knocked enough of them out that I could surround the rest to score the equaliser on the final turn.

grinn
02-05-2012, 03:50 PM
The long awaited clash between Zoraster's Strenous Garfighters and the Gears of Mork was played this week. The Garfighters enjoyed a good Nuffle-fluffing breaking orc armour like it was made from eggshells and sending a fair share of the green ones in the Knockout and Injury box. The Mighty Blows and Piling Ons that the Gears threw at the Garfighters did very little to dent the naked-mans steel exteriors. Half-way through the first half the Garfighters outnumbered and outpositioned the Gears into a cosy stall till turn 7. The Gears' turn 8 bash was largely ineffective.

The second half saw the gears grinding slowly up the left flank for a few turns, then, once again being outnumbered by the blood-thirsty norsemen. A veteran Ulf was finally killed, but the apothecary rushed to the field and saved his hairy hide in the nick of time. Outnumbered once again, the orc cage breeches got to a point where they couldn't be repulsed any longer and Zeppi L-Hafi, the thrower captain, initiated a series of brave dodging runs up the Garfighters' half. The rest of the cage dodged and weaved gracefully away from the ham-fisted norsemen and scored a late TD to tie the game.

At the rate my orcs were flying off the pitch (and the rate the norsemen weren't) kowc Zobbfest is more than happy with the resulting draw. The Garfighters retain their unbeated lead - but at least their winning streak is halted. 8 wins and 1 draw for the Garfighters. The Gears are still biting at their heals with 7 wins and 2 draws.

President Weasel
02-05-2012, 04:20 PM
Jiim, you sound mildly scouse when berating your team members for unauthorised guitar solos, but much less so when singing.

Jiiiiim
02-05-2012, 04:34 PM
In fairness I am mildly scouse.

LowKey
02-05-2012, 06:16 PM
Also top marks on the song choice, i'll be screaming this at HughTower's elves in our DoD game

President Weasel
02-05-2012, 06:29 PM
In fairness I am mildly scouse.

But much less so when singing!

HughTower
03-05-2012, 08:17 AM
Duff, I believed you called? Itll have to be this weekend, I reckon? You around on Monday?

duff
03-05-2012, 04:03 PM
Duff, I believed you called? Itll have to be this weekend, I reckon? You around on Monday?

Saturday is the deadline. I can play anytime on Friday or Saturday though.

Jolima
03-05-2012, 06:41 PM
Hi everyone. I'll be away over the weekend so I can't roll it on myself. Someone take care of that for me please? kthxbye.

Screwie
04-05-2012, 11:34 AM
Are we still go for our game tonight, NieaA7?

HughTower
04-05-2012, 11:49 AM
Saturday is the deadline. I can play anytime on Friday or Saturday though.

Dufferydoo. I'm at home today now so I can play after lunch if you're around. 2pm would work.

groovychainsaw
04-05-2012, 02:10 PM
Hi Chainsawhands - I know we spoke earlier in the week, but I havent seen you around since then - you around tonight for our game(s)?

NieA7
04-05-2012, 02:24 PM
Are we still go for our game tonight, NieaA7?

Yep, should be fine.

ChainsawHands
04-05-2012, 02:35 PM
Hi Chainsawhands - I know we spoke earlier in the week, but I havent seen you around since then - you around tonight for our game(s)?Yeah, that should be fine for one of them at least - not sure I have the stamina for 2 back-to-back! I'm also free all day Sunday?

duff
04-05-2012, 04:30 PM
Dufferydoo. I'm at home today now so I can play after lunch if you're around. 2pm would work.

Just got home, but I'm free all day now if that works?

ChainsawHands
04-05-2012, 08:49 PM
An early BH for a flesh golem and a later crucial dropping of the ball made things very tough for groovychainsaw tonight, and The Horny Goats were able to score a fairly textbook 2-0 win over Wolfsburg. Thanks for the game, gc!

My kick block dodge beastman levelled up; I'm thinking two heads...

cyberpunkdreams
04-05-2012, 11:47 PM
Hey... I've realised that the DoD simply isn't enough BB for me by itself, so I'd like to put a team forward for the Open as well (preferably WElf, if there's a spot free). The only trouble is that I don't yet have said team... when's the next season due to start? If it's not too soon, I might be able to work hard and get a team up to scratch in time, otherwise it'll be next reason.

Thanks!

Zoraster
05-05-2012, 08:16 AM
Loads of time Cyber. We are about halfway through the season so you've got a good 2-3 months. You may want to look at another race though. We currently have a two teams per race limit with one already in the league and another coach has already indicated he may reboot to Wood Elf.

President Weasel
05-05-2012, 10:50 AM
Which is odd and confusing, because they have the life expectancy of gnats. I tried a season or two with them in the open; now I play Orcs.

laneford
05-05-2012, 02:56 PM
An early BH for a flesh golem and a later crucial dropping of the ball made things very tough for groovychainsaw tonight, and The Horny Goats were able to score a fairly textbook 2-0 win over Wolfsburg. Thanks for the game, gc!

My kick block dodge beastman levelled up; I'm thinking two heads...

Do it. My extra arms, big hand, two heads pestigor approves greatly.

duff
05-05-2012, 04:09 PM
Jolima - not sure how likely it is myself and HughTower are gonna be able to play. We missed each other yesterday and I haven't seen him today, I'm about to go out to watch the fa cup so unless we are both on tonight I don't think we are gonna play before the deadline. Don't want to hold the other gents up so feel free to use your papal jurisdiction!

cyberpunkdreams
05-05-2012, 04:13 PM
Loads of time Cyber. We are about halfway through the season so you've got a good 2-3 months. You may want to look at another race though. We currently have a two teams per race limit with one already in the league and another coach has already indicated he may reboot to Wood Elf.

Thanks! I just love my war dancers ;). Perhaps the answer is to develop two teams, if there's that much time, and go with WElf if it's available and my other team otherwise... maybe DElf or Dwarf (my power team tactics are awful, but I guess I've got to learn sometime...).

If anyone fancies a practice match or two, just hit me up! I'm cyberpunkdreams on Steam and in BB. Thanks! ;)

laneford
05-05-2012, 04:18 PM
Thanks! I just love my war dancers ;). Perhaps the answer is to develop two teams, if there's that much time, and go with WElf if it's available and my other team otherwise... maybe DElf or Dwarf (my power team tactics are awful, but I guess I've got to learn sometime...).

If anyone fancies a practice match or two, just hit me up! I'm cyberpunkdreams on Steam and in BB. Thanks! ;)

I'm thinking of ditching my high elves next season and rebooting with something else, so I may just take you up on that offer sir. What is the min TV to join the league again guys?

LowKey
05-05-2012, 04:41 PM
I'm thinking of ditching my high elves next season and rebooting with something else, so I may just take you up on that offer sir. What is the min TV to join the league again guys?

If this happens then shotgun throwing my high elf team in! I'll be rebooting to Lizards otherwise

laneford
05-05-2012, 04:44 PM
Ok, pray for bad luck and horrendous injuries to blight my 2nd half of the season, and you may get your wish.

Jiiiiim
05-05-2012, 04:56 PM
I'm tempted to try a pure agility team to balance out the bash-with-a-bit-of-ball role I've settled into both here and in the divisions. Needs more elfball.

Squiz
05-05-2012, 05:54 PM
If this happens then shotgun throwing my high elf team in! I'll be rebooting to Lizards otherwiseIf you are rebooting your Lizards, I would like to take that race slot. Please let me know how things turn out.

Edit: Entered my details into the spreadsheet, hope everything's fine the way I did it.

President Weasel
05-05-2012, 07:47 PM
If you are rebooting your Lizards, I would like to take that race slot. Please let me know how things turn out.

Edit: Entered my details into the spreadsheet, hope everything's fine the way I did it.

Ah, no. He said he'd be rebooting to Lizards, not from them, which would mean Lizards are full. However, there might be a Lizard slot if High Elves become free and Lowkey takes them instead...

Squiz
05-05-2012, 09:05 PM
Ach, of course! I wanted to say "If you aren't rebooting to Lizards...".

HughTower
06-05-2012, 10:34 AM
Jolima - not sure how likely it is myself and HughTower are gonna be able to play. We missed each other yesterday and I haven't seen him today, I'm about to go out to watch the fa cup so unless we are both on tonight I don't think we are gonna play before the deadline. Don't want to hold the other gents up so feel free to use your papal jurisdiction!

Hopefully we can sort this out by the end of Monday if thus allowed?

Duff - I can start anytime before 12pm today or reckon I'll be back Monday evening from 5pm or so. Apologies for the small windows, I've been moving house over the last week in a ridiculously disorganised fashion.

grinn
06-05-2012, 10:38 AM
Hey Screwie, when can you play this week? I m flying out on Saturday and will be netless for a week. Any chance of a game in the mornings or during the day mon/wed/thu/fri?

Screwie
06-05-2012, 10:53 AM
Underfoot Crawlers (Gobbos, NieA7) vs Stikky Fingerz (Gobbos, me)

This was a pretty brutal match, all things considered.

For a start, when the match began it was already raining. This persisted throughout the entire game - in fact, the first kick-off was a weather result which rolled more rain, so effectively our game was rained on twice.

In the first half my looney used pretty much every blitz I had and KO'd an enemy goblin almost every turn. He also killed Ripper... briefly, as he regenerated. I tried to play the looney smartly, using team mates for cover so positioning and general pressure would make counter-attacking him difficult. Even so, NieA7 did e a block on him, resulting in a BD result... Badly Hurting his own goblin on the end of the chainsaw and netting the looney +2 SPPs for the casualty! Is that supposed to happen?? :o

The rain really stalled out the drives, as stealing or recovering the ball was quite a flaky process for us both. Only towards the tail end of the second half did my team captain Itiz manage to pick up the ball and run it over the line.

NieA7 responded with a TTM TD attempt which went perfectly - except the scatter landed the goblin scorer/victim on his feet a mere 3 squares away from Ripper, the troll who threw him. That's gutting. :(

Final Score: Underfoot Crawlers 0-1 Stikky Fingerz

And so after 17 games in the Open, the Stikky Fingerz have won their first ever game!! :D

http://i214.photobucket.com/albums/cc82/spuffpuppy/Wrestling/yesyesyes.jpg

THIS IS KIND OF HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW yesitwasagainstanotherstuntyteambutidontcare~

ChainsawHands
06-05-2012, 12:30 PM
Do it. My extra arms, big hand, two heads pestigor approves greatly.It's done. The beastman who dodges like an elf is born!