My point is that it is just "gritty" fantasy. I have the exact same problem with the Prince of Thorns series. It has rapidly become a cliche story (not that there is anything wrong with that, as I believe tropes exist for a reason) that is only really distinguished by violence and rape in the name of "That is what happens in real life".
And I'm not sure what the criticism of it being rapey is about. It's always been a series that focusses on the brutal realities of situations like that (shit, it's the reality of our world that sexual assault happens. A lot. Should it not be depicted? Or explored?), it doesn't gloss over them, but it never depicts them gratuitously. In fact, I'm struggling to think of any on-page rapes. Most of them are back story or implied. And it's never commended, it's always challenged, always made out to be the terrible crime it is... It's ugly. Why shouldn't we depict the ugly? And each one is there for a reason... Robert raping Cersei just shows how absolutely pathetic he is, Tysha's rape is as much an attack on Tyrion by Tywin as it is an attack on her, Pia's rape cements the horrors of war and how terrible Clegane's men, Tywin's dogs, really are, and how it can destroy the victim. Contrast all that happening in Westerosi society with Jon and Ygritte's relationship of consensual sexual freedom. And look at the punishments for rape... beheading and gelding.