One of the strongest pieces of prose I have ever read about war, and it's effects on the participants....
The following is an excerpt from The Things They Carried by Tim O' Brien....
"How do you generalize?
War is hell, but that's not the half of it, because war is mystery and terror and adventure and courage and discovery and holiness and pity and despair and longing and love. War is nasty; war is fun. War is thrilling; war is drudgery. War makes you a man; war makes you dead.
The truths are contradictory. It can be argued, for instance, that war is grotesque. But in truth war is also beauty. For all its horror, you can't help but gape at the awful majesty of combat. You stare out at tracer rounds unwinding through the dark like brilliant red ribbons. You crouch in ambush as a cool, impassive moon rises over the night-time paddies. You admire the fluid symmetries of troops on the move, the great sheets of metal-fire streaming down from a gunship, the illumination rounds, the white phosphorus, the purply orange glow of napalm, the rocket's red glare. It's not pretty, exactly. It's astonishing. It fills the eye. It commands you. You hate it, yes, but your eyes do not. Like a killer forest fire, like cancer under a microscope, any battle or bombing raid or artillery barrage has the aesthetic purity of absolute moral indifference - a powerful, implacable beauty - and a true war story will tell the truth about this, though the truth is ugly.
To generalize about war is like generalizing about peace. Almost everything is true. Almost nothing is true. Though it's odd, you're never more alive than when you're almost dead. You recognize what's valuable. Freshly, as if for the first time, you love what's best in yourself and in the world, all that might be lost. At the hour of dusk you sit at your foxhole and look out on a wide river turning pinkish red, and at the mountains beyond, and although in the morning you must cross the river and go into the mountains and do terrible things and maybe die, even so, you find yourself studying the fine colours on the river, you feel wonder and awe at the setting of the sun, and you are filled with a hard, aching love for how the world could be and always should be, but now is not.
Mitchell Sanders was right. For the common soldier, at least, war has the feel - the spiritual texture - of a great ghostly fog, thick and permanent. There is no clarity. Everything swirls. The old rules are no longer binding, the old truths no longer true. Right spills over into wrong. Order blends into chaos, hate into love, ugliness into beauty, law into anarchy, civility into savagery. The vapors suck you in. You can't tell where you are, or why you're there, and the only certainty is absolute ambiguity.
In war you lose your sense of the definite, hence your sense of truth itself, and therefore it's safe to say that in a true war story nothing is absolutely true.
I always think that Planetside2 is pretty brutal as a world. You die, and there is no rest, no time, you are instantly back on the battlefield (within seconds at least) with a knowledge of how and why you died. There's no end to the tour, no R&R, no family. No leisure time, no breaks (except giraffe discos which would probably end in a court martial). Just war, ongoing and forever, with no end, no peace treaty. No time even when you capture anything for it to resume anything even resembling a normal function. I wonder how many clones try to go awol only to be instantly killed by command. It's like Full Metal Jacket meets Logan's Run.
Today, is D-day. I am so nervous...
let me tell you two things: youve read all of it. youve seen it, and once you have, it is LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE to get back out, unless you had brain surgery that removed chunks of it.
secondly, try to think of THREE MISTAKES you could make on purpose. make them hilarious. they should make the examiner go OMG HAEV POINTS.
now its up to you if you really make those mistakes, or just fantasize about them, but if you can imagine making mistakes on purpose, more likely than not, you know what the actual answer is.
its a trick ive used for my actors with great success. and they have to learn a lot of shit by heart.
BREAK A LEG! THEN HEAL IT AND FAIL THE TEST!!!!!111
Okay... It felt good. I hope it was good too. Shit... 10 days of w8ing now. Practical test soon. Work tonight. I'm so tired and I can not sleep. Wow...
Breathe. Deep, calm breaths. Yes, yes, just like that. Good! :)
Hehe. yeah, I had to really concentrate to get that last post not insinuating all manner of things. Think I got it nearly decent, at least. ;)
dont push, youre a nurse. you know what comes out when you push and theres nothing there.
dear lord. the kids are eatching Dancing Stars, an austrian dance contest show.
and I dont have a pc to do anything. D:
The beard that launched a thousand spaceships.
prolapses are super painful. no i am to young and haven't had children yet so I don't know that! but i had a colleague that go it. she was fixed up and feel fine now. but not before that.
deep breath and push without being preggo... hummm... poop? :p
and one more thing before i go to bed.
Have anyone told you that you look alot like Terry Pratchett?
Holy fuck. That is uncanny.