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  1. #1

    Dear History Channel,

    Dear History Channel,

    I can deal with Pawn Stars, I can deal with American Pickers, and I can even deal with reruns of 5 year-old Modern Marvels. At least those shows are slightly historical. But you simply must stop airing shows about aliens with the crazy hair guy from "Alien Fetish Monthly". His logic rivals the "I told you so" theory of parenting, and he makes me wonder if the Mayans predicted the end of the world to occur next year because they wanted it to be destroyed before people started to take him seriously.

    Just....stop it.

  2. #2
    Secondary Hivemind Nexus Nalano's Avatar
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    The Learning Channel, 'SyFy' (sigh) and Discovery Channel are similarly plagued with concentrated forms of stupidity. The worst, in my opinion, are the endless "ghost" shows. If it's not shows where the host/narrator's stupidity is treated with the utmost seriousness, it's shows where the premise is "look how stupid these people are!"

    And to think, saying you don't watch this shit labels you a smug elitist in most parts. What the fuck is wrong with us.
    Nalano H. Wildmoon
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    "His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy." - Woody Allen

  3. #3
    Lesser Hivemind Node TillEulenspiegel's Avatar
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    Remember when it was The Hitler Channel? Happy days.

    History is interesting, you fuckers. Get a few good professors, and you can make some quality programs.

  4. #4
    Lesser Hivemind Node westyfield's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nalano View Post
    The Learning Channel, 'SyFy' (sigh) and Discovery Channel are similarly plagued with concentrated forms of stupidity.
    More like Sigh-Fy, amirite?

    (Sorry.)

  5. #5
    Secondary Hivemind Nexus Xercies's Avatar
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    Yes History is pretty interesting, like a lot. Other channels have found this like the BBC, remember Dan Snows Battles of 20th century that was a great and interesting series. You just seem to talk about WW2 all the time with the same things we know about. And now your not even trying with Ice Road Truckers and the like.

  6. #6
    Secondary Hivemind Nexus Nalano's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xercies View Post
    Yes History is pretty interesting, like a lot. Other channels have found this like the BBC, remember Dan Snows Battles of 20th century that was a great and interesting series. You just seem to talk about WW2 all the time with the same things we know about. And now your not even trying with Ice Road Truckers and the like.
    Well, WW2 was the last war we won, so...

    But seriously, even when they actually have history programs on the History Channel, they supplant it with so much B-grade dramatization and wild supposition as to render it practically unwatchable.
    Nalano H. Wildmoon
    Director of the Friends of Nalano PAC
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    "His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy." - Woody Allen

  7. #7
    Lesser Hivemind Node Oak's Avatar
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  8. #8
    Secondary Hivemind Nexus Nalano's Avatar
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    Pauly Shore is... a historian!
    Nalano H. Wildmoon
    Director of the Friends of Nalano PAC
    Attorney at Lawl
    "His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy." - Woody Allen

  9. #9
    Lesser Hivemind Node Kaira-'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TillEulenspiegel View Post
    Remember when it was The Hitler Channel? Happy days.

    History is interesting, you fuckers. Get a few good professors, and you can make some quality programs.
    I remember watching History Channel at my girlfriend's mother's home. I really liked all those history shows. Then recently I thought about ordering History Channel and Discovery, only to discover that they both are... erm, a bit shitty, to say.

  10. #10
    Lesser Hivemind Node icupnimpn2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nalano View Post
    Pauly Shore is... a historian!
    Well yeah. I think he earned that cred with Encino Man.

  11. #11
    Secondary Hivemind Nexus Skalpadda's Avatar
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    I was thinking about this very thing the other day, trying to find some interesting science and nature documentaries to watch. Turns out every American one I had a look at was either obsessing over stupidity or was in fact not a documentary about science at all but a reality TV show about making the documentary I thought I was going to see.

    I ended up watching First Life and it was great. Thank god David Attenborough and the Big British Castle still exist.

  12. #12
    Moderator Anthile's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nalano View Post
    The Learning Channel, 'SyFy' (sigh) and Discovery Channel are similarly plagued with concentrated forms of stupidity. The worst, in my opinion, are the endless "ghost" shows. If it's not shows where the host/narrator's stupidity is treated with the utmost seriousness, it's shows where the premise is "look how stupid these people are!"

    And to think, saying you don't watch this shit labels you a smug elitist in most parts. What the fuck is wrong with us.
    What I really like about those ghost shows is that most of them, after not discovering any ghosts, try to make some "maybe, maybe not" stance by the end. One might expect they'd come to the conclusion that either ghosts don't exist or they are so elusive that looking for them is pointless. But hey, apparently people watch this garbage.
    to wound the autumnal city.

  13. #13
    Secondary Hivemind Nexus Nalano's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anthile View Post
    What I really like about those ghost shows is that most of them, after not discovering any ghosts, try to make some "maybe, maybe not" stance by the end. One might expect they'd come to the conclusion that either ghosts don't exist or they are so elusive that looking for them is pointless. But hey, apparently people watch this garbage.
    There was one episode of Ghost Hunters I saw that was hilarious: The hunters travel to New York City to bring their incredible attention to detail and sleuthing skills to ferreting out a ghost from an old storefront theatre. Too bad their sixth senses don't work on the realm of the living, for they don't notice a random guy on the street walking off with their luggage.
    Nalano H. Wildmoon
    Director of the Friends of Nalano PAC
    Attorney at Lawl
    "His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy." - Woody Allen

  14. #14
    Lesser Hivemind Node
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nalano View Post
    And to think, saying you don't watch this shit labels you a smug elitist in most parts. What the fuck is wrong with us.
    Pfft, if Elitism is such a bad thing they wouldn't run armies on it.

    Personally I think decent TV pretty much died circa 2000.

  15. #15
    I've basically given up on television. While I will watch some football or catch up on the news, everything else is utter crap.

    On the other hand, it's gotten so bad that my wife no longer wants to watch regular tv, and I've gotten her hooked on Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood. Neither of us really like excessively "japanese" things (and from what I've watched most anime is under that category), but DAMN that show is good. Reminds me of my depressed teenager phase when I was younger and watching the original anime on Adult Swim. Plus it's good to watch a show that advocates good and righteousness and all that nonsense the rest of world has thrown to the wayside in favor of "gritty realism". Life is a bitch, I don't want to watch a dramatization of it.

  16. #16
    Moderator QuantaCat's Avatar
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    Dont have a TV, watch a lot of series, though. Just caught up with One Piece.
    - Tom De Roeck.

    monochrom & verse publications

    "Quantacat's name is still recognised even if he watches on with detached eyes like Peter Molyneux over a cube in 3D space, staring at it with tears in his eyes, softly whispering... Someday they'll get it."

  17. #17
    Secondary Hivemind Nexus Nalano's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by icupnimpn2 View Post
    Well yeah. I think he earned that cred with Encino Man.
    *cry*

    10char
    Nalano H. Wildmoon
    Director of the Friends of Nalano PAC
    Attorney at Lawl
    "His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy." - Woody Allen

  18. #18
    Secondary Hivemind Nexus Drake Sigar's Avatar
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    Guess they’re going after the young money just like everyone else, despite how little sense it makes. Thank god the old folks still have Challenge TV and UK Gold (incidentally, those are among my favourite channels) or they’d take to the streets and spark a revolution.

  19. #19
    What pisses me off are all the nature documentaries that seem to have taken up the mantle from Steve Irwin. Every second program on the National Geographic or Discovery channel is some yahoo wrestling with some poor bloody animal all in the name of conservation. Hey folks! If you're going to teach conservation how about starting with the lesson that we should leave the bloody wildlife alone! I miss the days when nature documentaries were about observing animal behaviour, not yokel behaviour.

    Sorry, a bit off topic but jeez is this becoming a bugbear of mine.
    "You go up to a man, and you say, "How are things going, Joe?" and he says, "Oh fine, fine — couldn't be better." And you look into his eyes, and you see things really couldn't be much worse. When you get right down to it, everybody's having a perfectly lousy time of it, and I mean everybody. And the hell of it is, nothing seems to help much." - Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

  20. #20
    Moderator Anthile's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wooly Wugga Wugga View Post
    What pisses me off are all the nature documentaries that seem to have taken up the mantle from Steve Irwin. Every second program on the National Geographic or Discovery channel is some yahoo wrestling with some poor bloody animal all in the name of conservation. Hey folks! If you're going to teach conservation how about starting with the lesson that we should leave the bloody wildlife alone! I miss the days when nature documentaries were about observing animal behaviour, not yokel behaviour.

    Sorry, a bit off topic but jeez is this becoming a bugbear of mine.
    You should watch Grizzly Man.
    to wound the autumnal city.

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