a joke that Joe Pasquale can't steal:
on Dance of the Penguins:
Almost every episode I've seen has included at least one horribly contrived act of personal sacrifice where some poor bugger's seventh line is "I will hold this door shut and die while you guys escape because, for some reason, I can't just wedge a shoe under it or tie my belt around the handle".
Don't get me wrong, I've got nothing against hackneyed drivel (I've played video games for the story), but keep it light. The deaths in Dr. Who are wretched, overwrought and unhealthy entertainment.
Strangers who want to kiss you on both cheeks.
Driving for pleasure.
Try London on Board for free and easy boardgaming
Why the designers of spam posts think they can somehow slip under the radar by pretending to actually be part of the discussion, when they're really obviously fooling no-one.
Actually, spam in general. I genuinely do not understand the point of it.
"Moronic cynicism is a kind of na´vetÚ. It's na´vetÚ turned inside-out. Na´vetÚ wearing a sneer." -Momus
I will never understand people blocking the aisle at grocery stores. Nope.
They usually do this by turning the cart sideways in such an optimal way that I'd figure their apparant dumbness would be incapable of producing. Sometimes it's done by having the cart on one side of the aisle, placing one hand on the cart, using the other hand to reach across to the opposite side of the aisle (can you picture that?), and slowly touching one product at a time. "Hmm, peas. And look, more peas! Yowza."
Sometimes it's done by parking the cart at the end of the aisle and heading over to the magazine section to read yoga magazines. Or, alternatively, if they meet some people they know ("Hey! How *ARE* you!?") they can all cooperate in defending the zone.
Another related thing I could never understand is standing there, doing one of these things, and having me push my cart up behind and not moving. Not only not moving, but not even being aware that I'm there. It boggles me because, if I'm on one end of an aisle and someone enters the opposite end of an aisle, I've now got them on radar. I was tracking them at 20 feet out. There is NO WAY you could walk up to me, especially pushing a cart with one square wheel, and have me not know it. I don't meant to brag like I'm the member of the X-men that got the awareness ability, because this "awareness" thing produces nearly no joy and gobs of frustration. Hey wait, that actually might mean I am a member of the X-men! Kewl.
Usually, if I begin approaching someone and see signs that they're going to be artful, I'll pull out and play with my car keys to add a greater sonic dimension. I think of it as giving them a +2 to their awareness roll. I throw it into the black hole of positive modifiers needed to overcome the many negative ones that they're carting around.
And everything I'm describing can be achieved, and has been achieved for years, without cellphone technology. If you throw a cellphone into the list of defenses, the rude and/or unaware become a fortress. Jingling keys, throat clearing, and even gentle ramming all have ethereal qualities at best against the Death Star that is cellphones.
I will not proceed further.
Lager. I swear, people must be pretending to like that stuff.
People who enter a shop and then stop as soon as they've entered the door, particularly if they've got kids.
Celt - The way you described supermarket zombies ( +2 to awareness roll) was fucking excellent. The anger you commited to prose was eloquent and sublime. Thanks!
Why are you wearing that stupid human suit?
It's probably silly of me to ask, but I did always wonder why one would start. When I did, it was all teenage nonsense (I think I was about 13) and it ended before I was of legal age to do so. Did anyone ever get a good taste out of alcohol from the first sip?
I hated olives the first time I tried them and now I find them delicious. The same with a lot of things.
Alcohol is like any drug- it changes your conciousness and perceptions, people use this to change the way they see the world.. sometimes it's healthy to try to see things from the other way around, to come at things from a different perspective...
Some drugs are used to divine meaning from our reality, alcohol is mostly used to celebrate events though, as it loosens inhibitions.
I was feeling fairly unsociable yesterday, but I went to the pub with two friends and after a few drinks I was in a great mood :)
Hmm.. maybe I should stop derailing this thread and write about something I'll never understand :)
Last edited by Donjonson; 17-06-2011 at 06:27 PM.
People who don't even attempt to write in anything resembling proper written English (if their first language is English, obviously).
It must take a lot more effort to teach yourself to write in a ridiculous amalgamation of English and txt speak than to just write straight English.