Aye well if I can't convince my pals to play RP, I might go ahead and set up an RPS-centric campaign instead. :)
Aye well if I can't convince my pals to play RP, I might go ahead and set up an RPS-centric campaign instead. :)
New pricing guide is in the drop box, we'll use that from now on and it should be more accurate
The Incredibly Heroic Adventures of Ludo and also some other guys
I'm having a party
Hey, you wanna sleep over?
We're gonna eat candy and get headaches in the basement
I'm having a party
Hey, you wanna sleep over?
We're gonna play spin the bottle till it's time to go to bed
Shadows over Bogenhafen continued - the Schaffenfest!
in which our hero loses an archery competition, but manages to make the winner storm off in high dudgeon. Hooray!
In high spirits because their semi-accidental killing of the bounty hunter is likely to massively decrease the number of incoming crossbow bolts they have to deal with on a day to day basis, slightly better armed due to grabbing all his weapons, and ever so slightly richer due to the contents of his pockets, the party proceed through the riverlands to Bogenhafen. Gottfried von Harlander's hand is still purple for some reason, but since it doesn't seem to be getting any worse and no doctor can work out why the general consensus, even from Harlander, is "meh, purple hand. What's for dins? When do we get to Bogenhafen?"
Bogenhafen! Semi-precious jewel of the, err, immediate area around Bogenhafen!
Bogenhafen! Fairly prosperous but unexceptional trading town!
Bogenhafen! The scene of the famous Schaffenfest!
Reaching Bogenhafen, Harlander quickly heads to the local temple of Vorena (goddess of knowledge and keeping accurate records) to investigate the family whose inheritance he's hoping to fraudulently claim. They don't exist.
Since they don't exist, neither does the inheritance - a fairly substantial flaw in the party's otherwise quite well-constucted plan (which had advanced to the point of faking up some badges and livery and posing as Harlander's mildly disreputable retainers). Ah well, easy come easy go. Evidence points to the whole thing having being a cunning plan of that bounty hunter guy's to lure Kastor out of hiding, but since the party already killed him there's very little they can do about it at this point (other than retroactively assigning the death to some kind of "yeah! That's for faking an inheritance, you bum face!" column - it's not very satisfying).
The plan's a bust, might as well go to... The Schaffenfest!
The Shaffenfest is a sheep festival, country show, fair, and market. It's actually quite fun, in a rural kind of a way, and since none of our party would really qualify as sophisticates they have a pretty good time. (Even Harlander, who as country nobility probably thinks this whole scene is a tad beneath him, lets his hair down and has a good time wandering around and pretending to be interested in prizewinning turnips and particularly sheepy examples of sheep.)
Highlights of the afternoon include Christof Gorm giving a good account of himself at the fairground wrestling booth, only to be hurled from the ring at the last minute (making some money for a couple of party members who had wisely bet against him) and Ludo (who has ambitions to leverage his fairly ridiculous skill with ranged weapons into a career as a professional targeteer) taking part in an archery competition.
He easily outshoots a couple of castle guards in the qualifiers, but comes up against the local baron's chief of archers in the final and narrowly loses out to him. The local pro then proceeds to be mildly snooty to Ludo about his lack of shooting skills, prompting Ludo to give him a hard look, turn to the target, split his winning arrow with a carefully aimed shot, and turn back with a sarcastic expression. The chief archer stomps off in a huff (and with the prize winnings, but without his dignity).
In their aimless wanderings around the fair the party encounter a dwarf being held in some stocks. He's a fairly pitiful creature - indeed, he turns out to be that most cursed of all beings, a dwarf who cannot handle his drink. He's in the stocks for getting pissed and exposing himself to some ladies. Egg's heart swells at meeting one of his fellow dwarfs, so far from home and in such terrible cirumstances, reduced to penury and without even the fine to get himself free. He pays the dwarf's fine, (a whole gold piece! A week's wage for an unskilled labourer) gives him a sympathetic yet character-building speech, gives him his second-best pick to set him up and let him earn money and get back on his feet, and sends him on his way to a new life.
The party continue their aimless wandering (Ludo is attempting to eat every variety of "meat on a stick" on offer at the fair, and occasionally offering some to the party) and some time later encounter - a strangely familiar dwarf, in the stocks!
The fair marshals glower disapprovingly at the dwarf as they tell the party that the dwarf immediately ran off to sell the pick some samaritan had given him, spent all the money on booze, got spectacularly drunk, and exposed himself to some ladies.
Ludo thinks this is the funniest thing he has ever heard. In the gaps between his bouts of uncontrollable laughter, he manages to persuade the marshals that yes, he is serious, and yes he would like to pay a gold piece to set the dwarf free. Ludo then gives the dwarf a few silver pieces and tells him to run along and have some fun.
The rest of the party are looking at Ludo as though he may, perhaps, have some issues. Five minutes later he's still occasionally snorting with laughter and muttering things like "best day ever" and "I love that little guy", and "best gold I ever spent".
A fun evening out in the sewers
In which pretty much everyone falls into the sewer at some point
The party come upon a travelling freakshow in the act of setting up and are unimpressed - their "vicious round scaly creature" is roundish and scaly, but appears far from vicious; their "hairy child" is just a child who is surprisingly hairy; and their prized exhibit, a 'four-armed goblin' is quite obviously a two-armed goblin who has had a couple of extra arms crudely attached with stitching and wires.
There is some brief excitement as the goblin makes a break for it, but the party herd him back towards his handlers, and are offered free tickets for the evening's performance, although the Egg rather spoils the mood by pointing out the fakeness of the goblin's extra limbs. The crowd ignore the heavily accented grumblings of the non-human, however.
By the time the evening's performance rolls around the proprietor has conveniently forgotten his offer of free tickets; this makes Ludo determined to see the show for free (he's like that) and he sneaks under the tent wall when nobody's looking. Gorm just bluffs his way in the entrance and the other two go get drunk (Farnoth the elf is still laid up, recovering from a bad case of nearly killed).
During the performance, the goblin (who if you remember has form for this sort of thing) makes a break for freedom, fleeing into an old rusty pipe that's too narrow to follow him down.
The party, being seasoned adventurers (or at least, representing themselves as such) accept a commission from the town council to hunt the goblin through the sewers (and a promise of double the money from the freakshow owner if they can capture his star attraction alive).
To the sewers!
Wait - Ludo wangles a free pie from the innkeeper, to fortify himself. That's better.
To the sewers!
Wait - Ludo wanders past the stocks, in case he can let the dwarf out for a third time and cap off an excellent day. Sadly the dwarf is nowhere to be seen.
Seriously now: to the sewers! They're paying us good money!
Stashing their belongings and better clothing in an inn (paid for by the town council, very nice of them) the party grab some lanterns and a map of the sewers, planning to head to where the goblin's pipe joins the main tunnels and pick up his trail (Ludo and Gorm both have some tracking experience).
Ludo heads down the ladder first, making use of his greater agility to unfold the ladder for the other members of the - oh. He fell in.
The rest of the party head gingerly down the now unfolded ladder, trying to breath shallowly through their mouths.
Ludo and his chums pick up the trail of the goblin, but following it they find - wait, this smell reminds the Egg of something - doesn't the Egg remember something about tunnels, and gases, and lanterns? These aren't safety lanterns, and there's a reason they should be...
The exploding pocket of firedamp throws most of the rest of the party into the sewer channel, but only seriously hurts their pride. Ludo manages to use his superior agility to dodge the worst effects of the blast (because that's apparently easier than coping with ladders).
Anyway, after they pick themselves up and try to brush the worst of the filth off and/or put out their smouldering clothing, the party pick up the trail of the goblin again and find - the mutilated body of Gorri the dunken dwarf! Oh no!
This makes Ludo genuinely sad.
They also find the torn off arms of the goblin - all four of them. And a trail of blood. And a hidden room. And a handkerchief and a goat skull (which they grab, because evidence), and a magic circle and a cloud of smoke and oh holy fuck is that a demon?
It giggles at them, and shrugs off Ludo's extremely well-aimed crossbow bolt like it didn't even feel it, and is still giggling inside their heads when they stop running several tunnels later.
Nobody believes any of this when they resurface, as the captain of the watch apparently reported killing the goblin on the other side of town. Mysterious.
Also annoying, as the party don't get their pay - and downright irksome, as the innkeeper in the fancy inn is now saying the party need to pay for their stay and the town council won't be covering it, and - what's that? You're heavily armed and really not in the mood? And I should take it up with the town council? No sirs, you need to pay this - there's no need to point that crossbow at me, and take off the safety latch, and ease the tension on the trigger, and maybe I should take this up with the town council...
Denied their rightful goblin-hunting bounty, grumpy at being dunked in the sewers for no good result, sad at the death of the amusingly drunk dwarf, and really quite disturbed at encountering an freaking unkillable demon who was giggling inside their heads, our intrepid adventurers decide that something is decidedly amiss in Bogenhafen.
Someone is messing with demons, which can surely only end badly for the Empire.
Also, someone appears to be messing with Ludo and his friends, and that is surely going to end badly for them. Oh yes indeed.
This must be investigated, and put a stop to, for the safety of the Empire.
Also, whoever is behind this must be discovered and then killed, for the satisfaction of Ludo.
Also it would definitely be preferable if we could leverage this situation to increase the amount of money possessed by the party, as money can be exchanged for goods and services.
Last edited by President Weasel; 19-11-2012 at 09:40 PM.
Unacosamedarisa: Egg, kiss me, you're beautiful.
I have added another wee teaser item to the drop box folder, this is home made so be kind!
Is it a Carival of Chaos?
Oh God even worse, Bretonains.
The incredibly heroic adventures of Ludo the Weasel and some guys who hang around with him
Pathological monsters! cried the terrified mathematician
Every one of them a splinter in my eye
I hate the Peano Space and the Koch Curve
I fear the Cantor Ternary Set
The Sierpinski Gasket makes me wanna cry
And a million miles away a butterfly flapped its wings
On a cold November day a man named Benoit Mandelbrot was born
His disdain for pure mathematics and his unique geometrical insights
Left him well equipped to face those demons down
He saw that infinite complexity could be described by simple rules
Used his giant brain and he turned the game around
And he looked below the storm
Saw a vision in his head
A bulbous pointy form
Picked his pencil up and he wrote his secret down
Shadows over Bogenhafen continued (continued)
In which the party do some investigatin'
So... there's a secret room under the sewers and there was a demon in it, but nobody believes us because apparently the captain of the guard is lying about killing the goblin somewhere else for some reason.
The party proceeds to wander about town "investigating", which mostly consists of asking people questions, being confused by the replies, and giving them a hard stare. It achieves little.
They do meet the head of the local chapter of the, ahem, Entirely Legitimate Businessmen's Association, whose local haunt happens to have a secret entrance leading off the sewer near where our adventurers found the room with the skull and the hanky and the demon.
The insignia on the skull is that of a local "charitable society" which the party immediately thinks is a front for 'consorting with demons and similar no-good shenanigans' - they'll need investigating. The skull, being tainted with the foul taint of demons (one of the worst taints a thing can be tainted with), is given to the local priests for safe disposal. While there, Ludo also pays good money to have his crossbow bolts blessed by the local high priest of Sigmar (n.b. in the entire adventuring career of Ludo the Weasel, enthusiastic shooter of crossbows at enemies of all shapes and sizes, both real, perceived, and potential, this expensive blessing goes on to achieve exactly sod all. Bloody priests. I've half a mind to take a trip back to Bogenhafen and burn down the temple).
The hanky has the initials of a local merchant, Franz Steinhager, whose offices are directly above that hidden room and who is a member of the charitable society. Oh ho! Right, let's go kill him. Oh, apparently strangers representing themselves as "adventurers" cannot simply wander into town and shoot fine upstanding members of the community several times; it's "illegal", or something. We're going to need proof, you say?
There's a meeting of the society soon, you say? That's convenient (although I suppose it would make sense if they were summoning the demon in preparation for it). Let's infiltrate!
In the meantime we check on the magistrate, the only man apart from the head of the local organised crime syndicate who vaguely sort of believes us. He's not at all well, and his doctor (the best in town) has apparently said he is stumped and there is nothing he can do. The magistrate mentions that the guard captain has been behaving oddly, for instance smiling (he legendarily never smiled, until very recently)
The magistrate introduces the party to a friend of his, one of the town's more successful merchants. He seems very nice, and genuinely worried about his friend's failing health.
A member of the party (I can't remember who it was but it was a damn good idea) brings in the healy priests for a second opinion - they recognise the symptoms as being from poisoning and are puzzled as to why the doctor did nothing. A member of the party suggests confronting the doctor and demanding to know why he isn't un-poisoning his patient - to which the doctor indignantly replies that he hasn't seen the magistrate in weeks!
A doppelganger! Clearly there has been some doppelganging going on, with one or more someones posing as the doctor and the guard captain. Bloody doppelgangers.
The (probably real, this time) doctor rushes off to try to save the magistrate.
The party head off to try to inflitrate the charitable society. Harlander, being a minor noble, easily gets in to the party but is rebuffed when he tries to enter the inner sanctum where the small and private meeting of the society's movers and shakers is being held; he is politely ushered from the premises.
Meanwhile Ludo, being small and sneaky, has infiltrated the meeting room and found a great place to hide, where he can look down on the meeting and will never be spotted.
Shit - he's been spotted. He had enough time to hear them talking of one last ritual to "something something move the trade routes something?" and to spot that one member of this council seemed particularly ill at ease - his build and the way he held himself looked familiar, but Ludo's attempt to see under his hood has drawn the attention of an alert attendee - and now he's running for his life, and oh shit those are dogs he can hear!
Waiting outside the walls near the spot where Ludo went in, the rest of the party can hear a commotion, and it doesn't take a rocket surgeon to figure out Ludo's been spotted. They can also hear the barking of several large-sounding dogs, which doesn't bode well for Ludo.
The dogs are faster than our intrepid halfling, and are clearly going to reach him before he can make it to his escape rope, when suddenly
the dogs' sensitive hearing is assaulted by an incredibly loud noise from somewhere close above, stunning and disorienting them enough for the shaky halfling to complete his escape.
Farnoth's magic, which Ludo has constantly complained about due to his allergy to lynch mobs, has saved Ludo's life.
So the charitable society are Up To Something Bad involving rituals and demons. And one of them doesn't seem too happy about this, but we don't know who it can be - although they seemed familiar, and how many of the great and the good of Bogenhafen has Ludo actually met? Harlander was mingling at the pre-meeting soiree - who do we know who was there?
The magistrate's friend, you say? Well he'd have reason to be a bit unhappy about the direction things are going - let's confront him.
And so Ludo and his associates confront the merchant, pretending to already know all the answers and further refining their by now polished "bad cop, terrifyingly psychotic cop" routine. He cracks and spills all - they've been doing magic to try to make Bogenhafen more prosperous, and now it's time for "one last big push" - but that's going to involve sacrificing a girl, and he's not happy about this at all, at all.
He asks the party to meet him at his house later where he'll tell them where the ceremony is going to take place, and so the party hurries off in various directions to inform their allies, the local Capo of the "well, it's not a thieves guild per se, but it's not not a thieves guild", and the chief magistrate (who is still alive, and even getting better, huzzah!).
Both of them promise us some reliable men to help foil the ceremony (note: only the thieves guild guy will actually come though, thus proving that good fences make good neighbours. Wahey!) and Ludo arranges for a thieves guild guy to follow them to the meeting at the merchant's house and report back (and also arranges secret recognition codes with the thieves guild guy, because there's a doppelganger about and why not).
The party arrive at the merchant's house and are let in by the maid. Only she's not the maid, because the maid would probably have mentioned the fact that her master was lying upstairs brutally murdered.
Egg lets fly at the doppeldemon with his bolas; the thing sneers at him - if a crossbow cannot hurt it, how can a feeble bolas? Clearly the demon hadn't been reading this thread though, as otherwise it would know that bolas are surprisingly deadly. A look of surprise and perhaps even fear crosses its face - is this the first time it's ever been hurt? But it quickly changes plan from "slaughter party" to "frame party for murder", running downstairs and screaming for the watch.
The party decides to stay and face the music, explaining what happened to the guards and to the magistrate. After all, they know him and they helped save his life, surely he'll be able to help them?
As they're nodding to themselves at how sensible this plan is, they can just about make out a faint cry of "bye, idiots!" as Ludo disappears over the back wall.
As the party languish in their dank (and extremely secure) cell, awaiting execution for murder, they hear a curious scraping sound. Suddenly, a door opens in the wall of the cell and a halfling's head pokes through! Ludo (for it is he) clears his throat:
Anybody order a... heroic rescue?
Ludo is now in an excellent mood because he got to deliver (what he considers) an awesome line. The party is in a pretty decent mood too, what with escaping execution, but there's still a ceremony to put a stop to!
The party are pretty sure it's being held at a warehouse the Steinhager guy owns (the dead merchant had a note in his hadn with W17 scrawled on it, and since the Empire doesn't use postcodes Warehouse 17 is a good bet, especially as it belongs to one of the cultists' companies), so, pausing only to get a handful of sword-n-buckler men from the thieves guild (and a loan of some shields and weapons to replace the party's confiscated ones) our intrepid adventurers head there forthwith, intent on putting a stop to these demon-related magical shenanigans.
On reaching the warehouse the party find a large number of guards outside.
Ludo suggests burning the warehouse down as a distraction (and also as a way to kill everyone inside and thus stop the ritual) but the party demurs:
- That's my lantern, you're going to buy me a new one if you're going to smash it to start fires, right?
Yes. Ludo once again suggests arson, but the party once again demurs:
"It's pretty hard to set stone on fire, do you think we can?"
Sure, we'll stack flammables around here and once we get the beams and joists burning this whole place will go up like a deathtrap. But once again, the party demurs:
"If we burn down the warehouse, we lose the evidence that there really is a demon and these guys really are doing magical rituals - they'll double-hang us, for murder and arson"
True, but if we burn down the building, we stop them doing a big ritual that involves sacrificing a girl - that's bound to have a worse result than us hanging for murder. Besides, we might get away. Let's burn it and take our chances. But once again the party demurs:
"a fire here in this densely packed warehouse area could end up burning the whole town down and killing hundreds of people. Also, can we try just talking to the guards?"
Talking? Pshaw. You talk, I'm getting flammables and making a pile here at this wall.
What's that? The guards were already nervous at the sounds from inside, and would rather run than fight for potential chaos worshippers?
Bugger. No arson for Ludo today then.
The guards leg it, and the party (and their 'associates' from the Legitimate Businessmen's Association) rush into the warehouse to confront the baddies.
It's your standard cultist meeting scene - virgin ready to be sacrificed, hooded cultists, one chanting out of a book, several guards who rush forward and engage the party's handy thieves guild mooks, and - the doppeldemon!
Right then, time to see what these blessed bolts can do!
Ludo ignores the party's shouted suggestion that he shoot the chanting man - this demon's got to die, and the high priest of Sigmar personally blessed the crossbow bolts.
He lets fly, and while his first shot appears to do little, his second inflicts a rather nasty wound - on Harlander, who has engaged the demon in melee and was already losing even before Ludo accidentally backshot him.
Luckily for the continued existence of Bogenhafen, while Ludo is continuing his fruitless attempt to actually hurt the demon, Farnoth successfully uses one of his most destructive spells on the chanting man, with spectacular results. With a giant charred hole where his chest used to be, the cultist finds it extremely difficult to continue chanting.
Another baddie, Johannes Teugen, picks up the book and continues the chant - continues even after Ludo (finally grasping that the demon is nigh immune to damage) hits him with a crossbow bolt that almost tears his leg off. Continues through the blood loss that will inevitably kill him - but not quick enough to stop him opening this portal and letting Something Very Bad through. Continues, in fact, right up to the point where Farnoth disintegrates his head, at which point the chanting stops.
The ritual sputters out, and the demon suddenly looks extremely scared (even more scared than when it encountered the surprising deadliness of the bolas) as the voice of something from the other side of the nascent portal makes it clear that the doppeldemon's failure to ensure the success of the ritual has put it in the bad books of Something Very Bad Indeed. I'm not sure what sort of entity would terrify a demon like that (and I am sure it's heresy even to speculate) but whatever it is snatches the demon out of existence faster than we can follow, and the portal slams shut.
The rest of the cultists are rounded up and/or killed, with enough left alive (and chastened by what they witnessed at the ceremony) that the party's names are cleared entirely, and they are feted as The Heroes Of Bogenhafen (and also rewarded, with rewards).
After picking up their own confiscated equipment our heroes are careful to return the borrowed equipment to the "local businessman" with their sincere thanks (he's not someone you want annoyed at you).
There are only a couple more loose ends - there is strong evidence that one "Etelka Herzen" (who the party immediately start calling Etelka Badlady, as for some reason her surname proves very hard to remember) instigated this whole thing by encouraging Steinhager and providing him with literature and equipment. Probably a good idea to find her and chop her head off so she doesn't do that sort of thing again, although right at this moment we don't have a clue where to start.
Also, someone owes us money - Steinhager's brother, a right nasty piece of work, offered Ludo and the boys 50 gold apiece if his brother should happen to die. Farnoth disintegrated a large chunk of him, so now it's time for his brother to pay up - only he won't.
He threatens to call his guards, until the party remind him they'd just beaten a bunch of better guards and a demon, and his guards wouldn't stand a chance.
He offers the party 20 gold apiece. The party demurs.
He threatens to call the watch, until it's pointed out that the watch aren't in this room right now, the party are all in the room right now and carrying all manner of nasty sharp pointy things, and that he's in the room right now too and about to be introduced to several, and where's our money? And Ludo can always sneak back and kill you any time he feels like it, and oh there's our money, pleasure doing business with you.
We leave our party considerably richer, and Heroes of Bogenhafen into the bargain - and no longer being blackmailed by Tobias Slater, Witch Locator (who turned up to take the party's report, and who was very interested to hear about Etelka Badlady as she's already a person of interest).
A couple of members of the party are looking a little wild-eyed and occasionally muttering about demons and giggling - it seems recent events have had some effect on their mental stability. Not Ludo, however - he's looking satisfied and cheerful.
Although given his stock response to amy given situation appears to be "pick one or more from 'murder', 'threaten murder', and 'arson'" it would be quite hard to tell if he'd become unbalanced, really.
Tune in next time - for Death on The Reik!
(there's a boat in it)
Last edited by President Weasel; 20-11-2012 at 12:31 AM.
Yay for standardized pricing - a bit steeper in some areas, but that should keep us in the upper lower class where we belong. It's stuff like this that causes my eyes to bleed:
I am still haunted by all of the weapon and armor charts Gygax stuffed in the original AD&D rulebooks that my uncle gave me in my childhood. I understand the need to minimize the amount of hammerspace that characters have, but damn if number crunching doesn't take a toll on one's soul.Human female fighter, 5'2" with scant frame, commissions a chain tunic. Her size category is E (it should be F for height, but she is skinny). Her price modifier is x0.85 and weight modifier is x0.65. A standard sized chain tunic weighs 28.5 lb. and costs 860d; hers will weigh 18½ lb. (28.5 x 0.65) and cost 731 d (860 x 0.85).
Oh, and that brochure is ace, Lowkey. It looks way better than the one the shadowrunners will get this week.
Yes we may not use everything in there, also thanks, piece of cake with my trusty friend microsoft paint! Great stuff PW i will be popping those into the first post to marvel and amaze new readers
I posted something i made for fun in the dropbox, The Altdorf Gazette. Give it a read and tell me what you think.
Great! That Ind Prince sounds interesting...
I enjoyed it, and thought the "hangings" section was a nice touch. Also, 'dry rot' - was that Harlander, or a different smirking noble from Bogenhafen?
I resent being accused of smirking, this is a sneer I'll have you know
And a fine sneer it is too, but reporters are idiots.
I'm sorry i cant name my sources.
Oh indeed - but I didn't envisage anything other than one man, one vote for the selection of Reeve of our hypothetical rural paradise; I was going to be the one man with the one vote.
I wont be around this week. Sorry guys.