Page 1 of 15 12311 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 20 of 282

Hybrid View

  1. #1
    Administrator Rossignol's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    256

    The GoG.com Capsule Review Thread

    Post your capsule reviews (100 words maximum) for a chance of winning a game from GoG.com.

  2. #2
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    0
    Half Life - Its quite slow, you start on a train and nothing much happens. I played it for 3 minutes then uninstalled it, Probably the best train passenger simulator out there but its a bit of a niche market. Two stars.

  3. #3
    Theme Hospital is the most inviting simulation game of all time, which may cause people to think it's insufficiently deep. It's better to think of it as iterative--you start with little floor space, few diagnostic areas, and fewer patients but later on things get considerably bigger. The basic flow remains the same; build a receptionist, get a few doctors, get basic diagnostic equipment, build more advanced stuff as increasingly absurd patients come in. To make up for the relative lack of freedom in progression, the game introduces delightful multitasking/time management elements. Feng shui, hilarious, accessible, enduring, a real simulation classic.

  4. #4
    B-Hunter is an obscure low budget cyberpunk sci-fi bounty hunting driving/flying game published at the turn of the century by Midas Interactive. One part 5th Element, one part Judge Dredd, two parts budget Euro jank. Mostly reminds me of Psygnosis' classic G-Police, but with a b-movie self-awareness that makes it very enjoyable.

  5. #5
    Vector Jams O'Donnell's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Burgh of Mussels
    Posts
    832
    Holland & Barrett - Psyllium Husks Capsules

    Psyllium is a great way of adding some fibre to your diet, and Holland & Barrett's capsules are a worthy addition to the psyllium arena. Unlike the psyllium I had when I lived in the US, these do not have an unpleasant plantlike flavour if they stay in your mouth too long before swallowing. The only downside I can think of is that the pills have a tendency to roll under the fridge when I drop them, but that's probably more the fault of my new kitchen or ley lines than a problem with the pills themselves.

  6. #6
    Mattel Electronics’ Intellivision just might be host to the greatest video game ever to grace mankind. Shark! Shark! is the hit action/arcade/survival horror/fish simulator that leaves you thirsty for more aquatic adventuring. There’s a bit of a learning curve, but once you find your sea legs you find that this fantastic game play hides the deepest of lessons in what seems like the shallowest of game play. Principles such as “Only the biggest survive” and “Look out for the shark” are not just how to survive the game world, but how to survive life.

  7. #7
    Half-Life 2

    Not Actually All That Great.

    I mean, it’s got great parts – Alyx is a strong woman of color presented compellingly; the Gravity Gun was ace, and Father Grigori was awesome.

    But the rails are bolted on so heavily you can’t move your feet. Just one path thru a level (now standard), new rockets miraculously stashed before each gunship fight, and so on. In later Valve games, like Portal the rails are still there, but they make sense. In HL2, it feels clunky and restraining.

    Weapons – no great shakes either.

    It was memorable, carefully done, but still somewhat overrated.

  8. #8
    Obscure Node
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    0
    Fallout, the first one
    Definition of classic
    Oh fuck, a deathclaw

  9. #9
    TIE Fighter is, no joke, the best game ever made. Even if you don't like dogfighting, TIE Fighter has a lot to love. The mission variety is insane, well beyond anything that would be made today. Optional menu toggle cheats and difficulty levels make the game as easy or hard as you want, optional secondary and tertiary objectives make the game deeper and the plot more involved. The game balances epic fanservice (escort Darth Vader! Holy shit!) with its own unique storyline that's easy to follow and enjoy even as a non-Star Wars fan. Wonderful music, clean visual style.

  10. #10
    Frozen Synapse is
    a game that features neither
    frozen nor synapse.

  11. #11
    Blacklight:Tango Down
    [review]
    Behold the astonishing staring game that will change your entire viewpoint on menus.
    Watch as the game desperately tries to locate a match while keeping you at the edge of your seat presenting you the whole proccess in tooltips. Feel the despair of a lonely survivor by looking at the empty lobby you are put in , left to succumb to madness.
    I enjoyed the fully interactible worlds that can be shaped with the click of a button from the options menu , spending countless days recording and archiving every texture and their low quality variants. [/review]
    Excellent game , very entertaining and very well made , much effort has been put so that it retains its restless community for years to come. Rating:(Sqrt 10000)/100

  12. #12
    Obscure Node
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    23
    Deus Ex: Invisible War

    Rewind. It's the year 2000 and you're playing Deus Ex.

    There, that's better.

  13. #13
    Vector Jams O'Donnell's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Burgh of Mussels
    Posts
    832
    Quote Originally Posted by YeOldeSnake View Post
    Blacklight:Tango Down
    [review] ... (96 words) [/review]
    Excellent game , very entertaining and very well made , much effort has been put so that it retains its restless community for years to come. Rating:(Sqrt 10000)/100
    Wait -- what kind of mad cheating is this? Words: sqrt 14484 :P

  14. #14
    Obscure Node Theoban's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Cork, Ireland
    Posts
    0
    The Witcher: I walked into a man's house. He wasn't particularly rich, nor was he particularly poor. Understandably irate, he punched me squarely on the jaw which in turn drove me to a fury. Again and again my fists rained down on him until he was a beaten bloody mess on the floor. I embarked upstairs only to be greeted by his lovely daughter, who promptly divested herself of her clothes and enjoyed carnal pleasures with me. I then proceeded to steal a lute from a bedside cabinet, and left.

    Ladies and gentlemen, the Witcher.

  15. #15

    Hail to the King Baby.

    Duke Nukem 3D - hey remember when you were fighting aliens in an urban wasteland, using your shrink ray to stomp on a pig-like creature, flying on your jet-pack and paying strippers to show you their goods while you spouted out amazing one-liners? Don't remember? Well then play this game dummy and live vicariously through Duke Nukem the baddest motherf*cker around. Enjoy.

  16. #16
    Obscure Node
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    25
    Reviewing Rainbow Six: Raven Shield is reviewing other people. How many marks is the "clipping error" that caught a friend's bullet in the back of your head? What percentage is the grenade that your squadmate threw, and that you ran into? What price stacking up, throwing a flashbang and shouting GOGOGO into your headset? What would you give for running between parked cars, your comrade's sniper rifle covering your back? Is there a mathematical value for storming a room together, dying in a hail of each other's bullets? For shared ineptitude? For the brotherhood of victory? For friends? Ninety-one percent.
    Last edited by Gap Gen; 03-06-2011 at 03:16 PM. Reason: BOLDFACE

  17. #17
    The Championship Manager/Football Manager series:-

    Spreadsheets are mysteriously imbued with the qualities of crack cocaine, all thanks to the magic of foot-to-ball fantasies.

  18. #18
    Obscure Node
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    11
    I
    am
    not
    good
    gamer
    enough
    to tell
    you what
    you shall
    play based
    on my truly
    un-justified
    opinion about
    some game that
    you most likely
    know newt about.
    Frankly, it would
    be very snotty for
    me to think I could
    compare my review to
    your magnificent work
    you guys write on RPS!
    Nonetheless, you should
    perhaps go play Terraria
    right now, because having
    spent countless hours with
    it I feel it is safe to say
    you will not be disappointed
    as this is one the best games
    on the indie market right now!

  19. #19
    Obscure Node
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    25
    Ondrej, that's mightily impressive.

  20. #20
    Obscure Node
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    11
    Quote Originally Posted by Ondrej View Post
    I
    am
    not
    good
    gamer
    enough
    to tell
    you what
    you shall
    play based
    on my truly
    un-justified
    opinion about
    some game that
    you most likely
    know newt about.
    Frankly, it would
    be very snotty for
    me to think I could
    compare my review to
    your magnificent work
    you guys write on RPS!
    Nonetheless, you should
    perhaps go play Terraria
    right now, because having
    spent countless hours with
    it I feel it is safe to say
    you will not be disappointed
    as this is one the best games
    on the indie market right now!
    Shit... can't follow that.

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •