That isn't the reason being given here.
That isn't the reason being given here.
Other people may not be jerks, but if confronted may become very defensive (in the sense of UR NOT THE BOSS OF ME FREE SPEECH, etc.) and raising the topic in anger makes this kind of response far more likely. The goal should be to bypass this defensive response and instead to appeal to their empathy for others. It is important that the speaker not feel besieged: it is not that they spoke with intent to harm, rather that their words may inadvertently have been hurtful to someone. They should not feel pressured to alter their use of language, the decision must be their own and they must feel this to be so.
And there should be give and take to this. Habitual language does not change overnight. Much as the speaker should be encouraged to consider the effects of their words upon others, so the person hearing the speech should be encouraged to consider the intent of the speaker.
At least such are the distillations of my own experiences.
Last edited by Rii; 30-04-2012 at 08:33 PM.
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Sure, getting angry is pointless, but it's just as ignorant to not say "Wait a minute, do you mind? That's not a good thing to say" because you're not addressing the problem and instead are letting it propagate.
Last edited by Rii; 30-04-2012 at 09:10 PM.
You see the game today? Those guys got disemboweled out there.
Also, with regards to the "why bother" of the last few posts, which I'm far too lazy to quote or paraphrase, why bother with anything? If someone's throwing around "fags" and "niggers" during a game, why bother saying anything? (of course, maybe they're being zerg rushed and their behaviour should be excused)
It's all in how it's approached. If I come at someone all like "you're an ignorant fuck-twat and you're racist and offensive", they're going to get very defensive (and rightfully so, because I'm attacking them) and we'll never get anything accomplished. If I can be a little more tactful and get to why the word(s) are an issue, then we might get somewhere.
I have been guilty of using the term "rape" to explain how I demolished my enemies in a video game many times.
Been guilty of using a lot of terms which could be considered very disrespectful. Although, my words are usually weightless, since I don't intend to harm anyone. The only weight behind them is maybe a history of torment experienced by an individual who is witness to my words. Sorry.
I try to limit myself from using these terms, but sometimes my lips is like a oowop as I start to spray it.
Last edited by Fruppy; 01-05-2012 at 11:27 AM.
Playing: DayZ, Tribes, TF2, Magic the Gathering
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I consider the implication behind the word, and the context in which it is used, to be more important than how other people interpret it. I'm willing to accept that people would judge me insensitive for that, I care little for for what others think of me, but, for example, there is no more powerful word than rape when describing what the Europeans did to the colonies, most notably Africa. Of course, I can only speak on a personal level, but I don't use rape to describe situations in video games or sports. That's purely because I find the word "owned" suffices - I do not consider language taboo. It should not ever be considered taboo.
If the word rape upsets someone that hears me using it, I will apologise if they voice their issue with it. I will not stop using the word, however. I'll not spend my life treading on eggshells, fearing that words like stump might upset amputees, or in this case that rape upsets rape victims. Do they fear fields of yellow too?
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Casual use of words desensitises them, it erodes their power. I mean look at the "n word", used mostly for African Americans. Go back 100 years ago, it wasn't considered that offensive (if at all) to say. You might refer to the "n*cough*" down the road. But you do that now? You're using a word that has gone the opposite direction. It's stayed as a term that subjugates black people, but it's become a word that isn't proper to use because of everything it carries with it. It's not just a slight, it has the weight of many years of slavery and racial hate attached to it.
Using the word "rape" casually is just so... stupid. If you say "I'll rape you at that game", you're equating your competitive spirit with the highly destructive, humiliating and horrific act of violating someone in a sexual manner. Why, in that situation, use the word "rape"? What does it add to your statement? Nothing! What's wrong with words like "destroy", "annihilate" or anything like that? They make more sense in that context, and don't carry any where near as much weight in our society.
I mean literally you can't 'rape' a land, but the term has been applied to describe particularly exploitative and destructive activity, usually in the name of empire building or simple violence. But clearly it hasn't diminished the term when it applies to violence against the person. I know there's a big difference between rape of the land and "lol I'll rape you at Starcraft" but I'm pointing out that the context is important.
When people use the term they clearly don't intend to cause offence or somehow diminish the impact of the crime. That's not to say it isn't overused (like 'douchebag', which I FRIGGIN' HATE are you listening USA/AUS FIND A NEW INSULT) but I don't think it really has the effect that you're describing. Societal norms direct how words operate and it's easy for a word to carry little weight in one context and heavy weight in another. As others have said, the term "murder" used to describe a crime is very serious, but is also used casually. People can differentiate between the two without difficulty, because of the context in which the word is used.
Again it's overused and I'm not fond of the term at all, but I don't think we're heading for a time period when everyone thinks that rape isn't a big deal just because it forms part of trash-talking online. I think a more interesting issue is why prison rape is a big joke when it's literally the crime of rape no different from any other rape case.