RPS Blood Bowl League - The many, many Divisions of Death!

[Skydancer]

The Tuftybushe Fruitcakes (Kapouille, Hal) 1-1 Barebone Bareboners (Skydancer, Khe)

Nice eventful match (as usual with halflings), where khemri were outbashed by the treemen big time in the first drive, both of them evading rooting the whole time and letting the halflings score in the last turn because of simple lack of players on the khemri side. The second half saw the treemen finally rooting down to their initial spot on the LOS, with an abundance of tender halfling meat around them which, during the drive, were smashed to bits by a couple mummies and some skellies limping around the now useless treemen of the apocalypse, in a conveyor belt of 3 dice block fashion. Meanwhile the sides got overrun by the rest of the khemri team, a treeman tried to throw a ball carrying halfling which landed by my throra safety falling the AG roll and getting stunned. Promptly the throra grabbed the ball and ran up the right side; due to the mispositioning of a mummy and the throra being next to the sideline, a lucky ass halfling managed to triple dodge out of my 4 player screen and 2 dice against pushed the throra out of the match. Ball landed up the pitch right next to a blitzra that was ready to get a possible handoff, which scored, thus ending the bloodbath.
A couple major injuries (a -ST on a 5 spp skellie.. argh, and a -AR on a halfling), a MNG and little more, ended the match with no side losing bad to the other.

[President Weasel]

Drawing a match with halflings is equivalent to victory with any other side.
On the other hand, actually picking up a ball and getting over the line with Khemri is an equally impressive feat, so congratulations to you both!

[Skydancer]

Drawing a match with halflings is equivalent to victory with any other side.
On the other hand, actually picking up a ball and getting over the line with Khemri is an equally impressive feat, so congratulations to you both!

I forgot to mention I failed to pick up the ball two times out of four.

[President Weasel]

I forgot to mention I failed to pick up the ball two times out of four.

It's the two times you actually picked the ball up that are a surprise.

[Heliocentric]

I forgot to mention I failed to pick up the ball two times out of four.

As the Halflings next opponents I'm sad the treeman was not hospitalised, but I'm prepared solve that problem myself.

Won't be playing the elves until Thursday mind.

[Skydancer]

You need artillery to down a treeman! Or luck.

[El Cubo]

You need artillery to down a treeman! Or luck.

Or five linemen.

[Skydancer]

Pretty hard to get a five man foul on a player that seldom leaves the center of the pitch, the area is usually quite crowded.

[Heliocentric]

Was 8 man fouling my last match. ^_^

Ogres, why won't you die?

[El Cubo]

Pretty hard to get a five man foul on a player that seldom leaves the center of the pitch, the area is usually quite crowded.

That's why you concentrate on taking care of the squishy bits first.

[ChainsawHands]

That's why you concentrate on taking care of the squishy bits first.

And in the game!

[squirrelfanatic]

Thanks for the advice and the suggestions guys, we'll give this another try during the week. I've already set up my PC with a static IP and took a dive into my router settings. Hopefully, we can get this straight and play our game.

[Jiiiiim]

Monopole Magnates (lizards, Jim) vs Elf Harm (elves, 'hands)

The downside of having a bunch of steroid-enhanced ridiculous statfreak elves is that your team value is higher than it needs to be. Add in a skink missing the game and I had a handy 190k to spend in inducements which went on a wizard. Winning the toss, I chose to receive as, well, you always want to get the first punches in, with elves.

The kickoff saw a quick offence and I was able to shuffle my guys around a bit, with the ball landing neatly in a saurus' claws. I'd like to say that was the most amazing saurus ball handling of the game but, well, you'll see. I created a simply gigantic cage around this saurus, all of the team incorporated in its majestic sweeping walls. 'Hands gave me a taste of how insecure even this megabunker was with a swift leaping blitz right into the centre. He rolled a skull, though, and got a niggle for his injures. Hands ummed and ahhed for a bit before deciding to use the apo which patched him up.

We continued like this for a few turns, me making very slow advances but winning the punch war, and Hands failing something audacious in an attempt to get it back. When his armour started cracking on Turn 4 it was a case of the formalities to get the saurus over to the touchline and guard him. Hands took his anger out on the skinks, BH-ing the wrestler Top Hat, and fouling another into the injury box. In revenge, I MNG-d the fouler and that was the end of foul wars. Add in another two casualties and a couple of KOs and I was doing alright for myself as Scottie Dog the saurus strolled in a touchdown. 1-0 at half-time and we were 10 v 9 at the start of the second.

In the second half, Hands did the standard elf thing of sending his thrower deep in his half and having everyone else flood forwards. Obviously the idea is that you wait until someone's free, send an incredibly good pass, and score quickly. I had been anticipating this, though, and brought out the wizard. Though it didn't injure his deep thrower, it did stun him, and left the ball completely uncovered right near his touchline. Sauruses blocked off escape routes and three skinks hurtled towards the loose ball. Gutterskink, the skink with the attributes of a gutter runner, managed to get it on the next turn and we marched in a quick second on Turn 10. 2-0!

Sweltering Heat now kicks in and knocks out two lizards to no elves, evening the numbers a little bit which were now I think 8 v 9. I didn't see that I could stop an elf offensive with those sort of numbers, but I guess you want to stall them as long as possible so they don't have a chance to equalise too. A few risky-ish GFIs were needed to keep position (and cost me some rerolls), and I foolishly got another skink sent off trying to foul that ridiculous supercatcher of his (+MA, +MA, +AG, +ST). Eventually they broke through, running in a simple-ish touchdown on Turn 13. 2-1!

The second round of sweltering heat was more equitable, fortunately, one elf and one lizard down so we lined up with 8 v 8. A blitz would change the whole complexion but I got lucky with my armour rolls, knocking out two in the first turn and another the turn after that. Once again all lizards were drafted as components of the cage that would motor up the field. On T15 I sent my sure hands skink into the open to get in range of the line, and he was promptly injured (apothecaried) by Hands' pissed-off blitzer. He couldn't win now, so I decided to do the only thing that could work.

This means: move the skink around to pick up the ball, GFI-ing in the process, and throw it to a saurus who has GFI'd onto the line. The first GFI failed which seemed to doom the move, but the rest worked like a charm. I'd passed to a saurus. He'd caught it. 3-1 full time!

[desvergeh]

Division 4 - The Rakish Rodents vs Bishi Bashi Speshal

An interesting and toughly contested game.

I had played the Rodents last season, and knew how vicious their star rat ogre was, after he left two of my players dead. I hence used the inducement bonus to load up on 2 extra apothecaries, Bloodweiser Babes, a wizard, a team re-roll, and a bribe. Would it be enough?

The rodents received the first kick-off, gave the ball to their star thrower (after it bounced out of bounds), and swiftly moved two gutter rats deep into the orcs side. This match I was ready for them though, and I moved my two tackle orcs in, one top cover a gutter rat. The other delivered a vicious blitz resulting in a dead rat, the apothecary was called, but no amount of sticky tape could re-attach that head.

Despite this the Rats outmanouevered the orcs, giving them a turn 4 touchdown, at the small cost of two KOs and one death.

So the ball was kicked off into the orcs midst. The ball was retrieved, caged, and slowly rumbled forward. However there was insufficient momentum for progress much beyond the midway line to be made, and the first half ended with the Rodents 1 up on the orc team.

The second half began with the orcs receiving the ball again. This was safely caged and moved up the pitch. Little progress was made with the cage, with the rats looking to poke holes anywhere possible in the orc lines. The ball handler was successfully tied up by the rat ogre, and a short pass attempted by the orcs to a blitzer. This is where things started to look shaky for the orc team, their ball handling skills not even being up to this easy pass.

However, despite the orcs failing to understand the concept of catching a ball, they had certainly not forgotten how to hit. Two more injuries were racked up on the Rodents, a MNG and concussion. This combined with a couple of knockouts, and the rat ogre failing a dodge (and then wild animal rolls) left the rats with little to defend with. Was this the opportunity the orcs needed? It looked shaky at first, with another failed attempt to pick up the ball. However on the next turn the ball was finally retrieved, passed to a blitzer, and the orcs made a break for it with a half cage on the sidelines.

By this point there was little left to stop the orcs. A thrower and lineman made a half-hearted attempt to intercept, but most of the rat team decided to stay down, rather than take more beatings from the superior orc numbers. Nonetheless enough was deployed to slow the orc advance, leaving them to run the touchdown in on their last turn, using two GFIs.

Final score 1 -1.

[ChainsawHands]

In more positive news, my MA10 AG5 ST4 monster catcher levelled up... and rolled a double. Not a double 6 though, so I just gave him block.

[duff]

Oh God, a Str5, Agi5, MA10 monster.. can you imagine it, you'd just be able to walk in a touchdown.

[groovychainsaw]

So let me get this straight, he's 10,4,5,7, catch, NoS, block? I guess at least he doesn't have dodge. How has noone killed him to death yet with your light armour? ;-)

[ChainsawHands]

Only 100SPP to go for dodge, or possibly another +ST! ;-)

Yeah, I have no idea why he's not dead. Unless it's because people have been concentrating on trying to knock down my ST4 catch NoS block dodge leap frenzy catcher, of course...

[potatoedoughnut]

Dear HughTower,

Please kill many elves before I have to play CH.

Thanks,
pd

[Jiiiiim]

I did niggle that ridiculous blitzer (apo'd), knocked him out, and knocked out the uber-catcher twice. Though I didn't inflict serious harm, it wasn't for want of trying.

I'm still buzzing off having a T16 pass to a saurus work.