Feels like I've been playing HughTower forever.
Monopole Magnates (lizards, Jim) v The Tiny Dancers (welves, Hugh)
I decided to finally buy that replacement Kroxigor so I'd like to welcome Moneybags Jr to the squad. His keen capitalist senses and extreme hyperviolence should prove useful, and it will allow a bit more variation in how I set up (there's a surprising difference between 6 sauruses/5 skinks and 1 krox/6 saurus/4 skinks). Even with that extra bloat we were still less flabby than the Dancers who drip skillpoints gravy everywhere, so we bought in a wizard as well.
Hugh wins the toss and kicks (I never understand why you kick first to be honest). I set out the stall of the most relentlessly boring offensive ever, standing on the halfway line, a skink surrounded by a saurus posse, and then just push people back as they come in. Hugh manages to stun the odd saurus but nothing lasting, and as his numbers are thinning, I begin to think about moving forwards. Throughout the half there is of course the danger of Wardancer magic blitzes, but we survive those that come in until turn 4, when he knocks the skink over with one leaping warbastard, then almost gets the ball with the other. Almost.
We recover the ball, still on the halfway line and surrounded by sauruses, and the wood elves see weakness, pouring into and around my cage. I decide this is the time to act, so push them back as prudently as possible and go to the far left, though not quite hugging the touchline. I think this went pretty well as Hugh has no rerolls and will probably fail something now...nope, he covers my players, blitzers with a wardancer who then leaps and picks up the ball to boot. I knock him down, get it back but then panic a bit when I realise there's not really any cage I can salvage here and I need to have a chance of scoring (it's turn 7 by now). I get the ball but go for a very risky handoff to gutterskink and he drops it, the swine. I get the option to use the wizard at the start of Hugh's turn and go for it, knocking out a wardancer next to the ball, but it's still eminently scorable. All Hugh needs to do is blitz the other skink away (success), pick it up with his nearby thrower, and then....oh wait the thrower rolls snake eyes and drops it, that was fortunate.
Gutterskink gets a second chance as I engineer a few chainpushes to nearly clear the area around the ball, then run my one skink in range onto the touchline. Gutterskink dodges (2+), picks up in a TZ (3+) and passes (4+ 3+) to that skink and we're 1-up though we don't really deserve it. Hugh doesn't attempt the one-turner, choosing instead to knockout two sauruses but everybody gets up at halftime anyway. Back to square 1, 1-0 to the magnates so far.
Sodding elves just run everybody long and do a very long pass in the next turn to equalise. Theoretically this is good, I just need to trundle in a winner on Turn 16 now, let's see how that goes...well he gets a perfect defence but there's not many ways you can arrange elves in front of sauruses so that they win the bash war, and my first round of punching is good, causing a cas (finally) and a KO. With a cage in place I'm feeling pretty confident as all we have to do now is get a cage in place on the right....and the one guy that has to GFI to get into position fails his GFI and also the reroll. Okay I'm exposed now, oh god. Hugh swarms in and covers the ball-carrying skink, and I don't read the skills well-enough, getting diving tackled as I attempt to effortlessly jink away. Even more danger now. The blitz is only pushes (fine, I've got sidestep), the next block is a BD (wrestle), but eventually he makes a path for the +Ag wardancer to run in and chuck the ball accurately to the other wardancer some miles away. A saurus marking the treeman is KO'd but eh, that tree isn't going anywhere fast.
I continue panicking but KO a catcher and a thrower then stun the wardancer, only one guy covering the ball though and no chance to pick it up. Hugh uses his other dancer, scoops it up, leaps away to the sidelines but his attempts to cover him are thwarted by my Diving Tackle (BOOT IS ON THE OTHER FOOT SUCKER). I surf the dancer but the ball does not fall nicely for those guys of mine that can move. I risk a 2db with a skink and get double skulls for my troubles, which turns a bad situation into a terrible one. It's now Hugh's turn 16. The dauntless wardancer knocks away my lone covering saurus and runs to the touchline, the catcher runs in, picks up the ball and readies the pass....oh thank god it scattered. I have a look around but every possible score for me now involves a 6+ pass so I go for broke and try a 9+ one that, fortunately for Hugh's blood pressure, fails massively.
1-1 at full time, hard fought with about eight turns of desperation and eight turns of boredom. All down to the final championship game to decide the winner, could still be me, Hands or Donut, depending on if they win or draw.


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