View Poll Results: What should the new look divisions look like?

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  • No change! I fear change!

    12 29.27%
  • Triplets! I love triplets!

    9 21.95%
  • GC's lovely 1-2-quad based tier system. It's clearly the best!

    20 48.78%
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  1. #241
    Lesser Hivemind Node ntw's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ChainsawHands View Post
    Standards have really slipped if we're using a chemical castration kit these days...
    Well, it's 2 hot bricks covered in acid...
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  2. #242
    Network Hub potatoedoughnut's Avatar
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    I knew I was forgetting something...

    What do you do if the coach has already been castrated?
    Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

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  3. #243
    Network Hub Rakysh's Avatar
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    Reconstruction surgery, then re-castration.

  4. #244
    Secondary Hivemind Nexus LowKey's Avatar
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    just a quick message to say myself and Arnisarus just played our game, a 1-1 slog fest that saw a couple of injuries, some long term KO's and an orc team that must have been elves painted green for the passing game/dodge game they played... except for an inability to pick up a ball - fun times all round!

  5. #245
    Secondary Hivemind Nexus ChainsawHands's Avatar
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    HughTower was 2-1 up on turn 12 or 13 of our match, which would have finished 3-1 or maybe 3-2 to him, when we got a "network synchronisation" error. Eventually I tried saying "abandon match" but it... failed to abandon the match, so I alt+f4ed out. Looking at the result, it's given me a 4-2 victory, which is amusing.

    I'm not sure what to do about this - reset the match? Change the score?

  6. #246
    Secondary Hivemind Nexus ChainsawHands's Avatar
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    OK, we're going to reset the match and replay tomorrow night.

  7. #247
    Secondary Hivemind Nexus Vexing Vision's Avatar
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    The Seaside Sirens (Vex) vs Screwie's Bloody Gobbos

    To much jeering from the crowd due to the lack of an apothecary, the Goblins win the toss and elect to charge the Amazons with Fanatic and Chainsaw-wielding madgoblin set up.

    The Amazons fail their kicking again. Reminder to myself: Buy a kicker. Amazed by the beautiful but pointless arc of the kick, the fanatic begins to swing around his chain rather ineffectual, and the trolls dance around the Sirens like they're squigs. A particularly dazzled troll knocks himself out rather early in turn 2.

    After neither Looney nor Fanatic manage to do anything to stop the pushing and blocking Amazons, the Touchdown in Turn 6 seemed rather inevitable.

    The follow-up kick-off goes wide again, this time into another direction. White girls can't kick, it seems, as one of the orc spectators sneers audibly. More trolls trying to remember what they were supposed to and a psychotic bomber who'd rather blow up the crowd instead of some Sirens (and even handing a bomb to one of the Sirens' blitzers to throw at the crowd as well) didn't help to stop the second touchdown for the Amazons. What DID help to stop the second Amazon was an ineffectual coach who thought the ladies would be able to run just one single more step. Which they didn't, staring at the far too distant touchdown line in dismay in turn 8.

    After the half-time, the Gobbos show the Sirens how to kick. A perfect kick, leaving the coach of the Amazons busy scribbling notes and the girls staring in awe, not noticing how the Goblins quickly change up their entire line-up while the ball was still in the air.

    However, the ball is quickly secured and trundled downfield. A single goblin runs up and attempts to stop the screen of Amazons, with predictable results, and turn 11 finally sees the Sirens' second touchdown.

    Eager to practice what they learned about kicking, the Sirens attempt another go. And while the ball lies in field for once (the first time this season!), the kick is so high that the receiving Goblin has no problems strolling leisurely over.

    A rather inspired scuffle ensures, at one point seeing a Blitzer accidentally picking up a scattering ball, not noticing the two angry trolls and the cage of Goblins around her. However, it was neither the cage nor the trolls but the single simple dodge that finally failed for her to break free, resulting in the Goblins being able to pick up and secure the ball for a turn 16 consolidation score, ending the rather bloodless match 2-1 for the Sirens, with a single half-hearted, non-serious casualty on each side.


    Bring on the Orcs, and cheers to Screwie for a fun match where the dice just didn't work out for him at all.
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  8. #248
    Lesser Hivemind Node Jolima's Avatar
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    I've validated all the matches I could find.

  9. #249
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    TonjouUtena and me have just finished our match. We both scored in the first half, I scored off my receive in the second half then JUST managed to turn the ball over a couple of turns from the end of the match. Finished 2-1 to me.

    Well played Utena, some proper nailbiting moments there!

  10. #250
    Division D's other match also just completed, so the day can roll on!

    After last week's 3-0 annihilation, The Dwarven Giants were looking to kick something, preferably an elf head. Luckily there are 3 Elf teams in Division D, so finding a target for dwarven boots will not be an issue!

    Xercies' Space Elves won the toss, and elected to receive. He progressed the ball down the field, but left his carrier open to a block on turn 4, and the ball was knocked loose. It lay on the ground for a few turns, while elves and dwarves shoved and pushed all around it, before finally being picked up by my runner, who held on to it to score on turn 8. This was perfect timing, as Tiny, the Dwarven Death Roller, was able to use his bribe to stick around for the start of the next half, with the dwarves receiving!

    Dorf ball continued in the second half, with elven bodies left littering the pitch. Tiny the Death Roller merrily rolled around, crushing elves left and right. Xercies tried mightily to break the dwarven cage, but could not ultimately prevent a second touchdown on turn 16.

    Textbook dorfball. Let's see how we do next week, however, without that vital bribe to keep Tiny around for the whole game!

    Final score, 2-0 to the Giants.

    Good game Xercies!

  11. #251
    Network Hub Rakysh's Avatar
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    I've decided I'd rather play halflings in the upcoming season; I've changed the spreadsheet to reflect this.

  12. #252
    Secondary Hivemind Nexus President Weasel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Indefatigible Snoozer View Post
    Division D's other match also just completed, so the day can roll on!

    Final score, 2-0 to the Giants.
    I don't see how that can be true, since it's clearly not reflected by the spreadsheet, and I can't imagine anyone playing their game and not updating the sheet, not after what ntw said about chemical castration.

  13. #253
    Quote Originally Posted by President Weasel View Post
    I don't see how that can be true, since it's clearly not reflected by the spreadsheet, and I can't imagine anyone playing their game and not updating the sheet, not after what ntw said about chemical castration.
    There must have been some sort of internety time lag thingy...

    Still, chemical castration beats actual castration!

    (Sheet has been updated now)

  14. #254
    Lesser Hivemind Node NieA7's Avatar
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    Welcome back to Tooth and Claw, the discerning Necromancer's almanac of choice. This week we bring news of the exciting Necromantic on Necromantic dual that recently took place, along with the results of our latest scientific study examining one of the more pressing issues in modern necromancy: what happens if you replace normal hands with the patented "bag 'o nails" environmental manipulation system?

    The game started with Tooth and Claw kicking to You Only Die Once. Potchi continued his pro-kicking spree by neatly dropping the ball in front of Once's single flesh golem. This golem must have been made of spare elf parts as it proceeded to simply stoll over to the ball and pick it up despite the nearby zombie doing its best to distract it. Clearly elf golemancy is a promising field worthy of future investigation.

    Unfortunately the rest of the half proved less enlightening, the game swiftly devolving into a brawl on the edge of the pitch just in to Claw's half. Just as Claw couldn't get the ball off the golem, so Once couldn't get the golem down field. The bags 'o nails had some effect, with 4 of Claw's players unconscious by the time the whistle was blown (no mean trick considering most the undead aren't exactly conscious to begin with). Once again Claw's golem's proved too dim to notice they were being hit, stubbornly remaining on the pitch despite multiple blocks and fouls. It only goes to show that in a truly classy minion brains aren't optional, they're a positive nuisance.

    The second half got off to a more interesting start as both sides agreed to recreate the zombie-gestalt debating society from the previous match, only now with virtually all the team.

    Sadly, despite one wight's impassioned oratory, the results this time were more predictable.


    From here on in the bags 'o nails really started to take effect, with more and more of Once's players relieved of whatever senses remain to them. By the time one of Claw's wight's finally stumbled over the touchline the Once dugout was a rather melancholy sight.


    1-0 to Claw at the close then, with the bags 'o nails a resounding success. With the other game in the division ending as a draw it's now all to play for, with the winner of Claw's next game - always assuming there is one of course - guaranteed to top the table. For Claw there is but one small problem with this (or, more specifically, 11 large, green problems), as we shall shortly discuss.

  15. #255
    Secondary Hivemind Nexus Screwie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vexing Vision View Post
    Bring on the Orcs, and cheers to Screwie for a fun match where the dice just didn't work out for him at all.
    Dice aside, it was always going to be tough dealing with all your blodgers without either block or tackle, or even ST3. My main hope revolved around bogging you down (on your drives) trying to stop you from ever getting your hands on the ball in the first place (on mine). Of course that never works...

    I'd hoped to make more use of my chainsaw as my most reliable tackler, but the play on the pitch got away from him and he was never in the right place.

    My biggest mistake was rerolling a 1 dice Both Down result on your ball carrier. That was foolish, but I wasn't ready to end my turn yet. Another day, I would have bitten the bullet and hoped the ball would scatter my way. As it was the reroll brought up a skull (as Both Down rerolls tend to do, 9 times out of 10) and your scored shortly after that turnover.

    Cheers for the game and the write-up, VV.

  16. #256
    Network Hub alh_p's Avatar
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    Brief write up of Laneford’s Rejected RPG stats (Nurgle) Vs my World Beaters of Khorne (Chaos), from the weekend and as yet un-reported on these hallowed pages. (Although we did update the spreadsheet, so please put the bricks away).
    <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>
    1<SUP>st</SUP> half, I received and was able to squeeze a beastman around the side of the brawl taking place between Khorne a Nurgle warriors across the LoS. The ardour and bloodlust of my players was severely questioned as much of the punching proved inconclusive, mostly because of the sheer revulsion caused by Nurgle’s afflictions. I failed most of the revolting appearance rolls (that’s a lot of 1s). The breakaway was almost halted by a blitzing pestigor but he either tripped on his own offal (failing a GFI) or laneford rolled a skull. Either way, my beasty was soon through and out of range of further defensive blitzes.
    <o:p></o:p>
    With 2 turns to go in the 1<SUP>st</SUP> half and Nurgle’s pace famed for being sedate, I was quietly confident of ending the half 1-0 up. Oh how wrong I was… Thinking that Laneford would seek rather to punch my players up on the LoS, I deployed accordingly high and centrally. Instead, Laneford made a most un-nurgle-like (but still revolting) play. Picking the ball up in the middle of his half, a combination of successful throws and a hand-off brought the level 4 pestigor carrier (two heads, two arms, big hand) into a half cage against the line on the left side of my half and, crucially, in range of a 1GFI TD next turn. I scrambled a defence, by beasts dodging away from their markers and 1 of them blitzing in next to the carrier. This proved to be to no avail as laneford blitzed my marker down and ran the TD in to end the 1<SUP>st</SUP> half 1-1.
    <o:p></o:p>
    The second half began with a blitz event, where I chose to fire my minotaur towards the ball on the left of the pitch. Laneford did the sensible thing and moved the ball towards my right, away from my mino and the accompanying players breaking through on the left. Slow progress was made here as the ball was in the hands of a nurgle warrior, only reaching the LoS before the ball was knocked loose amid a confusion of both teams’ players. I began to enjoy much more favourable block dice and was able to knock enough nurgle-ites away from it for a beastman to pick up and begin to make a break down the right. Laneford caught him on the sideline within scoring range, surfing him off-field for a KO, the ball being thrown back on into the middle of the pitch. Again I was able to clear a path for a beastman to pick it up and make a break, this time to the left, with laneford’s players either down or marked. Things looked set this time, my beastman was near the minotaur and there were no free nurgle players to blitz this time. BUT, I had not reckoned on Lanefor’d star ball carrier, who dodged away from his marker, around an CW and blitzed my ball carrier down. Whether in this turn or the next, a rotter then recovered the ball and made a most improbable 5+ or 6+ pass down the pitch to another rotter, who also quite uncharacteristically managed to catch the ball and run in a TD on the last turn, ending the game 2-1 to Laneford.
    <o:p></o:p>
    So my high agility chaos team was out-elfed by Nurgle‘s half decomposed ambulant corpses. Not a particularly edifying spectacle for me, or perhaps one that would be likely to occur again for laneford, Nuffle notwithstanding. All in all, Laneford was right at the very beginning (and I’ve resisted repeating it till now) that it would be a very Chaotic match. Har har.

  17. #257
    Secondary Hivemind Nexus President Weasel's Avatar
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    Surely it would be "two heads, three arms, big hand"? Two arms is the standard number.

  18. #258
    Network Hub alh_p's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by President Weasel View Post
    Surely it would be "two heads, three arms, big hand"? Two arms is the standard number.
    Standard? I wouldn't take any number of arms for granted in a team so mutated. But yes it should have been three arms...

  19. #259
    Lesser Hivemind Node ntw's Avatar
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    /looks disappointed and puts the bricks away :(
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  20. #260
    Network Hub drawlien's Avatar
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    Unfortunately Curvespace and I have been unable to find a mutually agreeable time to play our game before the deadline so we have both agreed to a 1 - 1 draw. As commissioner I will perform the necessary admin... And before you get your bricks back out ntw I have filled in the score. :-P

    Edit: Amazingly the TD was awarded to my Tomb Guardian who has previously gathered precisely NO other SPPs despite having played in ALL of the matches since the league changed to LE!
    Last edited by drawlien; 20-06-2011 at 06:17 PM.

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