RPS Blood Bowl League - The many, many Divisions of Death!

[Zoraster]

Well my season got off to a spectacularly bad start. Dark Pansy followed by two helpings of rat is about as bad a division as a ‘fling team can face so you really don’t need Nuffle screwing you too. Sadly she did, with not one, not two but three blitzes granted to the Dark Elves including the key one to open the match. Each blitz on the blitz also caused a CAS magnifying the effect even more. A double dodge failure CAS meant I was down to nine players before Mutiliation’s first turn and as I had been trapped with a number of ‘flings yet to dodge out I was down to seven on the pitch and 11 at best for the rest of the match by the end of the opening turn .

I did cause some damage of my own and may have even got back into the match but the second half was a six aside match so the two further blitzes left me with no possible response. Even worse I’ve really hurt my chances of avoiding relegation by denying Mutilation their Blackle blitzer and their kicker for the game against Zeno’s rats. I need Zeno to lose that one so double grr.

Nuffle had one final kick in the teeth for me; I levelled a ‘fling and a Tree and rolled +AG and a double. Nuffle displayed her evil sense of humour by giving the double to the ‘fling and the agility to the Tree... so annoyingly close to the magic of a block Tree and AG4 ‘fling.

The one minor positive was I did at least score, becoming the first team to achieve that feat against Mutilation, but it barely counts as consolation in a 4-1 defeat.

[Heliocentric]

Take +AG, if you get jump up you'll be awesome.

[Zoraster]

Well as Jump Up is waaaay down the list of doubles I consider and I pretty much never use it to block with a Tree so the agility wouldn't factor in anyway that is rather pointless. Agility is nearly always nothing but bloat on a Tree, and always on Cyanide due to the Break Tackle implementation error. If I have rolled +mv and already have BT I consider agility but never any other time.

[Screwie]

Oh wow, you've had a hell of a BB week with that stunty match and all.

I also recently played against a dwarf team. While I had better luck than you did, I too, had trouble breaking their armour. Out of 44 armour rolls, only 4 broke through. Them dwarves are real bastards!

Yeah, going into it my plan didn't rely on causing any damage to the Dwarfs... but I did need to knock them over :(

My next match should be interesting. Back down to 11 players for the first time in a long while. I'm kind of glad I went with a deep bench for an elf side.

[Alistair Hutton]

Well as Jump Up is waaaay down the list of doubles I consider and I pretty much never use it to block with a Tree so the agility wouldn't factor in anyway that is rather pointless. Agility is nearly always nothing but bloat on a Tree, and always on Cyanide due to the Break Tackle implementation error. If I have rolled +mv and already have BT I consider agility but never any other time.

I didn't realise Break Tackle was bugged to be always used. Sigh. A fairly wasted skill pick on my Ogre then.

[cyberpunkdreams]

Well my season got off to a spectacularly bad start. Dark Pansy followed by two helpings of rat is about as bad a division as a ‘fling team can face so you really don’t need Nuffle screwing you too. Sadly she did, with not one, not two but three blitzes granted to the Dark Elves including the key one to open the match. Each blitz on the blitz also caused a CAS magnifying the effect even more. A double dodge failure CAS meant I was down to nine players before Mutiliation’s first turn and as I had been trapped with a number of ‘flings yet to dodge out I was down to seven on the pitch and 11 at best for the rest of the match by the end of the opening turn .

I did cause some damage of my own and may have even got back into the match but the second half was a six aside match so the two further blitzes left me with no possible response. Even worse I’ve really hurt my chances of avoiding relegation by denying Mutilation their Blackle blitzer and their kicker for the game against Zeno’s rats. I need Zeno to lose that one so double grr.

Nuffle had one final kick in the teeth for me; I levelled a ‘fling and a Tree and rolled +AG and a double. Nuffle displayed her evil sense of humour by giving the double to the ‘fling and the agility to the Tree... so annoyingly close to the magic of a block Tree and AG4 ‘fling.

The one minor positive was I did at least score, becoming the first team to achieve that feat against Mutilation, but it barely counts as consolation in a 4-1 defeat.

I had an appalling Nuffling against Mutilation too. I feel your pain. That said, Corkir's obviously a great coach, but his luck has to run out sometime!

[Zoraster]

You don't feel my pain Cyber... a Nuffling like that is one thing but this was against my wife! The stuff of nightmares :D

[Alistair Hutton]

Irrelevant Illness (Smaugh) - Altdorf Army (Alistair) Division B.

The Army face a tough choice. True they out TV'd the opposition by a fair amount but that meant they got Grim Black Hoof Psycho Killing Machine Whatever His Name is and Altdrof got the option of whether to kick or receive.

Casting aside normal regimental protocol they elected to receive, aiming for a 8 turn drive as the Disturbing Presence would shut down the regular quick passing game, probably looking to split the opposition up and on turn 8 send the catchers into the end zone and long bomb the ball in wit hthe accurate strong arm thrower. What's that you say? Blizzard? Balls.

Short kick put the ball easily within tentacle reach of the scrimmage line so a distraction force was sent down the left, the centre bashed in, the ball collected in minimally caved and the Ogre failed his Bonehead roll. He was to do this for 3 of the next 4 turns. Oh and a riot had shortened the game by a turn. The distraction force served it's purpose splitting the Illness up and the Army were able to move the ball freely around their own half. Eventually opening up a chance to short pass the ball free of DP to Grayland the AG4 Catcher who unfortunately was DPd and tackle zoned due to some failed blocks. the ball went loose and into the hands of a foul slab of Chaos Warrior.

Smaugh couldn't work the ball loose from the scrum and what followed was the ball ending up loose on the ground with contiualled fumbled pickups dragging it further and further centre field. Eventually the Army managed to get the ball into the hands of Grayland with two turns left and he parked himself in the corner with noly a double GFI by a Pestigor able to even mark him up. Torg'n'Thorg then chose this moment to make a change from sanding or lying on the ground stupid and punched the beast so hard in the face that he was out for the game. Grayland ran in the TD and Illness spent a turn bashing those that they could get their hands on, inclduing one slippery Blodging Blizter (Hoffenmeister) who took 5 blocks without going down.

It was a this moment we realisd that Smaug had been rolling a metric fuckton of skull/push results. He nobly kpet up this streak into the second half.

Into the second half and Smaug got the ball frothe kickoff and parked it behind a wall of flesh. Over the next 6 turns the Army made repeated attempts to take a bite at the cage but were rebuffed, often at the cost of men off the pitch. Down to 9 players the Army knew something needed to be done and steppe dup to the plate - BAM Grashnak Blackhoof into the injury box, BAM Chaos Warrior into the KO box. Suddenly it was 9 vs 8 rather than 10 vs 9 and Smaug just couldn't find the punch through to get down the pitch.

They managed to a couple of squares into the Army's half but it was not to be, with two turns left Altdorf threw everything at the cage and just gave them no ways out. Instead the game petered out with half hearted blocks and sideleine pushes ring it to a close.

Nurgle 0 - 1 Pure Shining Humanity

[Everblue]

[resolved!]

[chadsexington]

Walrus and I played our Div G match.

Rapemode was activated.

Highlights of the shit-tasticness included Walrus 1die fury unleashed by skill-less skeletons knocking down my blocking lineman/positionals.

Khemri were far better at picking up the ball than norse

TG pulls off a dodge.

Throw-ra pulls off a dodge "Just to show me he can"

All khemri injuries were regen'd - including the death of a block TG and -1AG to a skele.

3 turns of successive fouling by the khemri's inspired me to foul once - and get sent off.

Multiple poor plays by my norse left me in even worse mood. Im still agonizing over a last-turn mistake that allowed walrus to get the winning TD.

Walrus' Khemri 2 - my Norse 1

Good game

[Heliocentric]

Being 700 TV down can still be fun, but this wasn't, retiring my team.

I don't mind losing, being nuffled or being out played, but being completely helpless is boring.

Int'he Night Guardians will not be participants in any further matches.

[squirrelfanatic]

INinja132 and me played our match tonight, the report is coming soon. Could any kind admin please validate our (Div L) match?

[Everblue]

Division K - Bulging Vixens (Amazon, Dissident) v Doomdark's Revenge (Chaos, me)

Full report to follow, but the Vixens pull off an unlikely final play to tie the game 1-1 thanks to a lightning bolt that badly hurt my ST5 warrior who was 2 squares from the Amazon line, Zara the Slayer who was a beast all game, and an unskilled linewoman who (with no re-rolls available) picked up the ball, dodged away from tackles and unleashed a pass to a waiting team mate. Said team mate scampered down the line to score.

Fun game. Still no casualties for the damn minotaur, but hey ho. Bring on the lizards in week 2!

[President Weasel]

If you hadn't had that mino you'd not have taken that lightning bolt. They're a waste of gold I tell you.

[Everblue]

It's a fair point, but the mino did a good job in the first half in shutting down the amazon drive.

Basically what I should have done was caged up around the ball in the second half - I was 1-0 up at half time and receiving, so there was no pressure on me to do anything other than punch girls. What I in fact did was go for the TD to win 2-0, trusting to the slownoscity of the Amazons to prevent an equaliser. It was greedy and Dissident punished me for it perfectly.

Fair play to him, and 1-1 was pretty fair.

Zara was a BEAST though - two casualties personally and out of some shred of human decency I decided to try to hurt her than Dissident's own players, and I failed utterly. She is a (to paraphrase Jamie Redknapp) top, top player.

[Everblue]

Mind you, now that I have a ST5 chaos warrior I am more inclined to skip the minotaur.

[DeekyFun]

Helio had some bad luck against my elves tonight. He elected to defend at the starting kick off, and a pitch invasion stunned about 8 of his men (plus a few of mine), which led to an easy TD. My elves scored another touchdown on his drive, after I knocked his ball carrier down and the ball rolled into a nice position for my team. During the second half, it was pretty much the same story, another drive and my elves scoring on the counter. Helio had a final drive to get a TD foiled when his WW fell over going for it, which nearly led to a fourth for me on the final turn, except my Elf realised what team he was playing for and fell over dodging.

Differing team values and bad luck made the difference; my Elves are pretty much all set up with Block and Helio was having a tough time knocking them down to whittle down the numbers, basically nullifying his tactics. If he'd been lucky an gotten a few knock outs/injuries then the game could have been totally different.

Anyway 3 - 0 to the Dandy Lions.

[somanyrobots]

Against the odds, Desvergeh and I actually managed to squeeze our game in. We played several seasons ago, when both our teams were much younger, and had a draw back then. But this match was looking very different. Des's orcs had a 250TV advantage over me (which I spent on babes, a bribe, and a reroll), and were considerably bashier than my necros. I was scared.

The Lycanthropes won the toss, electing to receive. Caught it handily with a high kick, caged up, and prepared to bash through the orcs. That worked about as well as expected. Des's phalanx of ST4 players (four black orcs and two +ST blitzers) meant I made absolutely no progress. Finally, I squeaked enough of an opening to try a risky play; snuck a Blodge werewolf around behind, where my ball carrier attemptd to hand off to him for a TD. But the handoff failed dramatically, with the ball knocked loose, surrounded by orcs. Adding injury to injury, Des gave my skilled WW a smashed ankle in the process. More scrambling occurred, in which I set up desperate plays that then couldn't be executed because Des knocked people down. He BH one of my flesh golems in the process. I did, however, succeed in keeping Des from getting anything organized on the ball (though I'm not certain he was trying), so the half ended at 0-0.

The second half started inauspiciously. A so-so kick, with my remaining werewolf instantly frenzy-crowdsurfed by Des's frenzy blitzer. Then, since Des had left a small opening to get to the goblin ball-carrier, I tried to dodge in with a ghoul and blitz, and promptly failed, losing an entire turn. But I got a few players back to defend, and then Des, perhaps overambitiously, tried to hand off for a faster TD. The handoff failed, my ghoul recovered, and suddenly there was hope again! Slim hope, that depended on standing up to some blocks and then a pass with an orc interceptor marking the catcher. My ball carrier made the run, made the pass, the interception failed...and so did the catch. Despite my shout of "Elf BAAAALLLL!", which totally makes those things work, right? Anyway, Des got the ball back, but in his own half now, not spitting distance from my endzone. And! Even better, my ST4 wight dodged away from his man, and knocked down the Orcish catcher, freeing the ball up again. With all of Des's players in my half, it was even numbers around the ball, and a ghoul got to it and failed to pick up. But next turn, the ghoul's Blodge let him survive a 2D rerolled block. And he retaliated by dodging onto the ball, picking it up, dodging away, sprinting for the endzone, making his GFI, and scoring. Didn't even need a reroll. 1-0.

With two turns left to score, Des made a valiant effort, but orcs are not built for two-turners. I knocked down his troll to prevent a goblin-throw TD, and thankfully avoided suffering any more injuries.

Bishi Bashi Special 0 - 1 Lucky Lycanthropes

An excellent game! One which I really did not deserve to win, to be honest. Des had poor luck with his blocks all game long, and the second half was just an endless series of calamities for Des, and madcap stunts from me that all found favor in Nuffle's eyes. He was an extremely pleasant opponent, and very gracious.

[Wolfenswan]

Oi!

There's a bug in the DoD Spreadsheet for Fixtures & Results, Division I: Sketchseven appears two times where it should be Cacamas instead. This results in some funny stuff on the Table page as well.

[chadsexington]

My norse leveled a lino who already has +1 ST. Haven't rolled yet, but assuming that he doesn't get a stat-up, what general skill should I take? I was thinking frenzy to make him fit with the rest of the frenzy'ing team.

Thoughts?