RPS Blood Bowl League - The many, many Divisions of Death!

[ChainsawHands]

Thanks!

Like laneford says, it was quite a match. We were very close in TV (I had 70K on him so he picked up a babe), so it was a well developed elf team against a well developed Nurgle team, which is a pretty good contrast of styles. The various Nurgly annoyance skills (tentacles and disturbing presence) were certainly pretty annoying - who knew tentacles worked against leap too? ;-)

It started well, as I kicked to laneford and he picked the ball up and then passed it, but failed to catch it, so I was able to run in, get the ball, and score on turn 2. The rest of the half went... less well, indeed really quite badly, as my typical high-risk aggressive defence failed to pay off and I was rapidly running out of elfs (I think 3 injuries and 5 KOs by the end?), leaving me unable to attempt a 1TTD after 'ford equalised on turn 8.

The start of the second half also went badly, as I had turnovers from a double skulls, a failed pickup (with reroll I think) and a fumbled quick pass from a thrower near my own endzone. Fortunately 'ford's Nurgle are absurdly slow (by elf standards anyway), so I was able to keep him away from the ball and eventually pick it up and pass it forward. Sadly I didn't actually catch it (my catcher joined in the 1s rolling I think), but after a bit of messing about as we scrambled for the ball I was able to leap an AG5 catcher onto the ball and dodge away. I thought I'd messed things up when I realised I could in fact have blitzed his only player in range, but fortunately his blitz only resulted in a push, so another 2+ leap gave me the winning TD on turn 16.

Thanks to laneford for a very enjoyable match.

It's been a good season for Elf Harm: beating Jiiiiiiim's lizards for the first time and finally winning the championship properly (I won it once before, but that was on two draws and a default, which was somewhat unsatisfying ;-)).

[Jiiiiim]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Well done Hands. I need to think about what the Magnates do next. I suspect it may involve cutting some unnecessarily skilled skinks. AND THEY SHALL REMEMBER THOSE THAT DISSED THEM.

[laneford]

It started well, as I kicked to laneford and he picked the ball up and then passed it, but failed to catch it, so I was able to run in, get the ball, and score on turn 2. The rest of the half went... less well, indeed really quite badly, as my typical high-risk aggressive defence failed to pay off and I was rapidly running out of elfs (I think 3 injuries and 5 KOs by the end?), leaving me unable to attempt a 1TTD after 'ford equalised on turn 8.

It was a horrendous start from me really. Firstly cyanide hid my best nurgle warrior from me, (somewhere in the warp I assume) and also wouldn't let me sub off my unskilled rotter/pesti for my AG5 sure hands kick off return man who was sitting on the bench. I managed to bring him back by selecting a default formation (thanks hands!) but timed out on my setup. I then rolled a snake eyes handing the ball off to an extra arms pesti sitting in quite a nice cage, leading to elfball, first score down.

The start of the second half also went badly, as I had turnovers from a double skulls, a failed pickup (with reroll I think) and a fumbled quick pass from a thrower near my own endzone. Fortunately 'ford's Nurgle are absurdly slow (by elf standards anyway), so I was able to keep him away from the ball and eventually pick it up and pass it forward. Sadly I didn't actually catch it (my catcher joined in the 1s rolling I think), but after a bit of messing about as we scrambled for the ball I was able to leap an AG5 catcher onto the ball and dodge away. I thought I'd messed things up when I realised I could in fact have blitzed his only player in range, but fortunately his blitz only resulted in a push, so another 2+ leap gave me the winning TD on turn 16.

Yeah my basic only plan was to keep hitting anything that moved with any player with tackle, mighty blow, and hope to use tentacles and prehensile tail to keep players in place or make risky dodges. For the first half I wasn't that bothered what he or I was up to as long as I was reducing his player numbers. On offence, I was a bit worried as I lack guard on my cage players, and my ball carriers are not that tough (an AG5 rotter without block or dodge, and a Pestigor with extra-arms, big hand and block) and very vulnerable to leap.

In the first half, the punching things plan worked very well, and I thinned out the numbers enough to reduce hands screening defence enough that I could just keep shifting my cage side to side, and throwing blitzes at his best players, even if i almost managed to screw up in T8 by not getting close enough to the endzone that I needed a handoff to nearby pestigor.

In the 2nd half I was fortunate in that hands a) rolled very badly for getting his KOs back and b) got spectacularly nuffled in his first two turns. But unfortunate in that I didn't manage to injure a single elf in the whole half. With the fact I need about 3 players to effectively mark any single elf, and that my tentacles refused to work well, I simply couldn't quite hold him off, stretched all the way across the pitch (some players marking receivers, some pressuring the ball carrier) and eventually he worked out an equaliser. I did have a few shots at scoring myself, but they were quite long range passes, which were always pretty risky plays (4+ or 5+ passes). I could've simply held the ball and ground out a draw, but with that much AG5 and leap, I didn't ever feel really safe trying that one, so I went for the win.

A relegation dogfight between my nurgle and Jim's lizards awaits. I need a draw or a win, he needs the win and for Grinn not to beat Hands by a bigger margin.

I'm not looking forward to facing these angry and wounded (In pride and also literally) magnates.

[President Weasel]

I need to beat Jarvis and for Snoozer to beat Janek, and for the Td/Cas figures to be in my favour, otherwise I am relegated from Div 2. 1 up, 2 down: it's a slippery slope at the pointier end of the pyramid.

[Alistair Hutton]

Global Warping (20pheonix) - (Alistair Hutton) Altdorf Army
Division B

The army knocked up a 2- 1 victory. The Army was too silly in the first half and pretty much fluked a touchdown to take a 1 - 0 lead. But lost their start thrower to a lightning bolt and Grayland the mega catcher to a ridiculously low percentage elf ball play.

In the second half an exposed Skaven thrower eventually lead to second Altdorf td.

A classic Skaven score clawed one back but the army managed to secure the ball and not let the Skaven have a sniff of it to run the clock down for the 2-1 win.

[The Brain]

Right then Mr Hutton. It is as they say 'ON'. If Div B can get rolled on I should be free to play the decider this weekend.

[Janek]

I need to beat Jarvis and for Snoozer to beat Janek, and for the Td/Cas figures to be in my favour, otherwise I am relegated from Div 2. 1 up, 2 down: it's a slippery slope at the pointier end of the pyramid.

My apologies, looks like it's only pride to play for now - the Beasts were able to use their greater mobility (that is not a phrase they use often) to rumble their way to a 2-0 win.

Guess I'm on my way to the Championship then.

[Cacamas]

Hertlingbrad Scholars 2 - 1 Top Brass

Yep, that's it, I've had enough of these incompetent elves. The final turn encapsulates them for me. The humans had gotten a TD on their final turn and, without the players to make a 1 turn TD, it looked like another loss. But the dice throw me a lifeline - a riot sets the game back by 1 turn, thus allowing the opportunity of an equalising TD. I get a blitzer into the end zone, my star thrower breaks free, the interception fails and he throws a... fumbled pass. My fifth double 1 of the game.

I think I shall go back to a smashy team, I can do smashy.

P.S. I'm very distrusting of BBManager now. According to it, I didn't fail a single pass but the final action of the game clearly is one. I wonder how easy would it be to write something better...

[sketchseven]

"Here be the tale from the match in Division I between the Hertlingbrad Scholars vs The Top Brass, as told by me, the coach of the Scholars...

With about 700K in inducements to spend I brought my trusty wizard Eloquacious, Bovril the Halfling Chef, put some time on the pitch for some Extra Training, and finally hired a babe. Because what else you gonna do with 50K?

I won the toss, decided to kick. Bovril clearly wasn't doing well in the kitchen, stealing only one reroll from The Top Brass, which they promptly got back on a kick-off result.

Some elfy play ensued, although the Scholars managed to put a decent amount of pressure on the ball (including Eloquacious zapping the ball carrier at the end of turn 1), but the Top Brass managed to get a catcher or two through with depressing ease and passed into the end zone for a 0-1 lead midway through the first half.

The Scholars were disheartened. But they rallied magnificently to push through the High Elf defences and score an equaliser in the final moments of the first half. 1-1 and all to play for, as they say.

Bovril utterly failed to cook up anything in anyway appetising during the half time interval, (rolling a magnificent triple 3 for no effect whatsoever). Second half was a rumbling drive from the Scholars that slowly pushed past the line of scrimmage, with those elfy buggers coming very close to snatching the ball out of the midst of the cage, but fumbled passes and some lucky bounces saw the ball land in the hands of a Blitzer who scrambled a touchdown at the end of turn 16. 2 - 1 to the Scholars.

One turn left for the Top Brass to pull it back. The players positioned themselves ready for the kick.

Which turned out to be a riot, pushing the clock back and giving the Brass two turns for the equaliser, not one. Their players swarmed upfield but the thrower, in his eagerness, fumbled the pick up. The Scholars set about marking everything in the backfield and hitting as many Elves as possible, but the Top Brass recovered magnificently and were a pass away from equalising, only to see the ball tumble from the thrower's fingers in the dying seconds of the match..."

A win! For those of you that are all "why you no hire Morg?" I shall simply point you to a Helf team that was full of Dodge, and reasoned that he'd spend his entire time rumbling after slippery buggers and not hitting things, and thus be a complete waste of coin. Cacamas was pretty unlucky with his dodge rolls at times, I got my share of double skulls, and all in all it was a good match. I think both of us got our share of Nuffling, although maybe him more than me. There were almost no casualties, just a badly hurt Helf catcher. Lastly, the journeyman lino on my team got the MVP for the match, so I bought him.

[President Weasel]

My apologies, looks like it's only pride to play for now - the Beasts were able to use their greater mobility (that is not a phrase they use often) to rumble their way to a 2-0 win.

Guess I'm on my way to the Championship then.

Well played!
Also, bah.

[Indefatigible Snoozer]

My apologies, looks like it's only pride to play for now - the Beasts were able to use their greater mobility (that is not a phrase they use often) to rumble their way to a 2-0 win.

Guess I'm on my way to the Championship then.

Their superior mobility, and ability to pick up the ball-ness.

At least 4 failed pick-ups by my sure-handed runner. Admittedly, he's AG 3, but still...

I have relearnt a valuable lesson - don't leave your flanks unguarded on offence.

[Dog Pants]

Div H: Anupshi Rises (KHE, Dog Pants) 1 - 2 Int'He Night Guardians (NEC, Heliocentric)

The game starts in blazing sun, making the Khemri feel right at home as they kick off. Meanwhile the Guardians' hired chef makes them feel at home by brewing up a stew good enough to steal all but one of the opposition's rerolls. The ball is snatched up by the Necro's Ghoul and caged on the centre line, which drifts around a little before a blitzing Tomb Guardian breaks in. In what would normally be remarkable, but is turning out to be somewhat commonplace, the ball lands in the hands of the surprised Tomb Guardian. His ambition is short lived though as a wizard from the crowd zaps him with a lightning bolt. The Ghoul recovers the ball and after a lateral dash makes a gutsy pass to a wandering zombie. With many of the Khemri team committing to the perceived Tomb Guardian drive there are few defenders to rush the ambling ball carrier, but the last two Anupshi players manage to bring him down short of the line. Now scrabbling to get the ball to safety with only a Thro-Ra and a Skeleton, the Khemri are outnumbered and unable to stop rapidly blitzing IHNG Werewolf from taking the ball and scoring.
A riot as the game recommences puts a second touchdown for the half within reach of both teams, but the remaining time is only really remarkable for a double down and an injury on a pair of Zombies by an Anupshi Rises Skeleton courtesy of a push into the crowd.

The second half gets off to a dynamic start as the Night Guardians storm the opposing half, marking the ball carrying Thro-Ra with a Werewolf before he can even move away with the ball. The Thro-Ra dodges away and counters the charge by dashing up the left field with minimal defence and a trailing Tomb Guardian. The Necro commitment to their charge left them struggling to remove themselves from the ensuing brawl though, and the Thro-Ra sails across the touchline for an equaliser.
Play resumes with a near kick being recovered by the Night Guardians' Ghoul, who makes a short pass into the cluttered group on the line of scrimmage. The catch fails, but the ball is grabbed by a Wight before it goes loose. With the ball suddenly at risk the Necros push hard, and the Wight makes a full out dash down the centre field. It isn't to be, and he overextends and falls. Anupshi Rises, with little time left, also try a little finesse as their +AG Skeleton recovers the ball and hands it off to a breaking Thro-Ra. With no support he can't outrun his opponents this time and is brought down by the Werewolf, the ball landing out of bounds. When it returns, the ball lands in the middle of the Night Guardians' half just behind the front line. The busy Werewolf dashes in to grab it and makes a long pass to the penetrating Ghoul who has been left almost unmarked in the chaos. Only a Blitz-Ra has any real chance of stopping him, but fails terribly and ends up bouncing off. The Ghoul steps over the Blitz-Ra to score a second Necro goal, winning the game in the last seconds.

[potatoedoughnut]

P.S. I'm very distrusting of BBManager now. According to it, I didn't fail a single pass but the final action of the game clearly is one. I wonder how easy would it be to write something better...

BBManager counts all passes as successes. I don't know why, but all the other stats should be OK.

[Heliocentric]

Yes, Zomball in blinding sun, and Tomb guardians wearing magnetic gloves and all injuries but a baddass broken neck on a zombie(a keeper) were regenerated. It was one of those games.

Taking away a total of 5 rerolls in the game the chef was my star player, closely followed by the wrestle zombie who refused to take "DO NOT WANT HUGS" for an answer. Yes, all of the passes were unreasonably lucky, but in my defence, I had like 5 re-rolls most of the match due to kick off events giving me even more rolls. But, god, I was jealous of all that guard, cant wait for the flesh golems to get a few ups.

[Alistair Hutton]

Masquerade Ballers (The Brain) - (Alistair Hutton) Altdorf Army

With only a one day turnaround from the last game could the Army do the impossible and secure three victories for the first time in their history?

Yes. Yes they could.

The Elves opened with aggressive Elf defence but the Army slipped past them only to fail to realise they were passing over the head of an Elven catcher who intercepted the ball and legged it down the pitch for a hand-off and touch down. However The Army had been able to put one despicable elf in the KO box and another (the scary Frenzy Blitzer) to the hospital. Receiving again the Humans got Blitzed and 3 Elves bore down on the Armies nerveless thrower. Back at the line of scrimmage the Army dug out a position and placed the ball in the hands of Grayland the uber catcher of uberness (i.e after 4 level ups about equal in terms of ability to a starting Elf catcher). A slow grind (after a fecked up start where I failed to account for some Diving Tackle) around the mid way line saw two more elves break a nail or scuff their shoes and as such skive off to the injury box -plus another two ended up KO'd. Eventually Grayland sprinted miles clear meaning the elves couldn't catch him and their Wizard had been used up already on a ineffectual fireball. More Elf smash was performed and the ball was walked in with a turn left.

The kickoff table failed to pull a miracle out of the bag for the Ballers and we enterd the second half 1 - 1 apiece.

The elves received and were looking good until they used up a reroll no a GFI pushing a catcher into the Armies half and then having a second catcher fall over on a GFI. This left the Ballers thrower exposed at the edge of human blitzing range. Human blitzing then occured and the ball was secured by Grayland who once again was doing his best impression of a hero. Nip and tuck movements managed to turn the scrum into a cage and it was slowly worked down the pitch again. Brave, Brave human players put their bodies in the way to stop the elves being able to mount a concentrated attack on the cage corners. The one they did mange ended up with a couple more elves hospitalised.

Eventually the Army ran out of screening players and the elves had three bad dudes menacing Grayland. So he did the edcent thing and dodged in a touchdown to take it to 2-1 with two turns left. Enough time for and elven team to score.

BLITZ.

Human players streamed forward marking up the Throwers and managing to clear their own players from harms way. The elves responded by blitzing through the line and putting a player deep. And then having their thrower fall over.

More Elves smashed (6 in the hospital by the end including a gouged eye, an arm break and a -1 ST) but the noble Army couldn't pickup the ball on two attempts to get the third touch down.

Promotion is ours!

Fantastic game with The Brain, Wulf my Star Blitzer was a star - KO'ing elves almost at will. Grayland was the rock of my offence and Torg'n'Thorg(Not Relation) was a reliable Elf Crusher only failing on bone-head roll in the whole match - and that was a t an irrelevant time. Edwin Theoderic would be happy. He would be a lot happier if he hadn't been killed by an Elf this match, but you know, you take what you can get. A whole passle of levelups (to Wulf, Grayland and mr dependable Screamer) should set me up nicely for the promotion.

[President Weasel]

Congratulations Al, and best of luck next season.

[Prester John]

PC woes sorted through the use of magical card that exchanges virtual money for real goods. How great is that?
Hopefully have time to get game in tommorow (Sunday) so season is not total loss!

[Macavity]

Have we rolled Div M on yet, with the loss for Eard?

[Skydancer]

Had the match with walrus, khemri vs khemri. 1-0 for me, after lots of regen'd injuries in the first half (and everybody on the pitch by the second), some surfing topples and a bunch of ko/injuries on the second that tipped the balance in my favour, with my lone thro-ra troddling his way from my end of the pitch to the scoreline nearly untouched. Trod trod trod.

[Jolima]

Have we rolled Div M on yet, with the loss for Eard?

It hasn't been yet, so if you can manage to play it today you may still have a chance.