Solium Infernium - Bastards Incorporated

[Heliocentric]

Making time for a morning turn would be very much appreciated but just do what's plausible. We all have lives that's why PBEM is so fundamental.

[Jarvis]

The early game is always quickest and people have solid objectives to start with being concerned with the inital land and item grab. (particularly order slot items damnit). With most terrain gone and the initial clash's happening the game should slow abit anyway as people plot more.

[darkweeble]

I'm traveling and without Internet for another day. Should be able to get a turn in tomorrow night. Sorry!

[Heliocentric]

I'm traveling and without Internet for another day. Should be able to get a turn in tomorrow night. Sorry!

Understood, I guess I'll just need to plot harder in the mean time.

[darkweeble]

Took me an entire day to realize I could tether my phone and use that for internet. Turn is uploaded and I am screwed. Closing the Bazaar was a TERRIBLE idea.

EDIT: Driving again most of the day. Next turn won't be in until late tonight.

[Heliocentric]

Closing the Bazaar was a TERRIBLE idea.

It was you? You have no legions WTH were you thinking?

[squirrelfanatic]

It was you? You have no legions WTH were you thinking?

First rule about handling events that screw with everyone's plans: Don't tell anyone it was you who played the event.

[Jarvis]

Took me an entire day to realize I could tether my phone and use that for internet. Turn is uploaded and I am screwed. Closing the Bazaar was a TERRIBLE idea.

EDIT: Driving again most of the day. Next turn won't be in until late tonight.

Wait what? I thought that was squirrel (Prof Franz von Evil) wanting to fight Tikey (Marauder Shields) via unchallenged Preator.

It was you? You have no legions WTH were you thinking?

And huh? Weebs has legions, two of them - he's too much of a quivering pustular demon's sore to use them but still he has them.

[Heliocentric]

No matter who played it the ramifications will be long felt. The diplomatic dog pile has only just begun.

Shields and Von Evil should thank not-god it was 3 turns (the minimum) not 6 (the maximum).

[Heliocentric]

Dear Debtor 'Prof Evil'
We have just received your letter of refusal in regards to our suggested repayments scheme, it saddens me to observe we must now escalate without complete payment.
I have additional information, "Nililio-n Buck Loans PLC" contacted me in regards to a search previous of financial history and informed us they intend to collect what is owed them too,these are undoubtedly stressful times but the last thing you needs to do is spend money in the recently opened bazaar. Financial advisors will be along shortly.
My suggestion to allow you to maintain control over your territory is as follows, you complete you repayments before you recieve this letter... No? Too late. The deepcrows will feast on your viscera.

Yours regretfully
The Mayoress Mare, Financial Director at Horse Holdings LTD

OOC: Who is throwing about acts of wrath?

Edit: BTW when I thought weebs had shut the shop (still not sure) I was thinking about von evils strategic situation and got mixed up.

[darkweeble]

I'm still traveling so turns are a bit slow/not possible once in a while. Thank you for your patience.

[darkweeble]

Dear Mayoress Mare,

I am writing to you on behalf of the displaced workers we spoke of earlier. You may recall them as the ones fleeing the stench that wafts from your prodigious backside. They are seeking reparations for damage done to their various olfactory organs and have come to me as an impartial arbitrator in the matter. Please see the attached list of demands and render your reply at your earliest convenience. Please be aware that they are very angry. As an impartial arbitrator, I advise you to just give them what they want.

Sincerely,
Weebs

[Heliocentric]

Dear Debtor 'Mr/Mrs/Miss/Ms Evil' (delete as appropiate)

I recently a memorandum from the University of Evil-Diablic (Un-ED hereafter) and they have reported to me you were stripped of the "honorary and ironic title Professor" when you stopped cleaning the campus demon-toilets part time during the weekend. So while I will cease refering to you as professor no disrespect is intended.
Our property agents are currently canvassing for items of worth to repay the amount owned on your property, but currently all we have found is footprints in sand. If you could direct us to where you keep the body of your belongings we can both handle this much quicker.

The actually entitled to use her title,
Mayoress Mare

[Heliocentric]

Dear Weebs of Cuddle Island

It seems you have been mislead by your immigrants, they were not workers, they were walking batteries to be drained of life to fuel more worthy beings. Their natural role is to travel to foreign lands and drain life, even from the very soil until they grow rosy in the cheek and plump of belly. Once they reach this state they will emigrate back to their rightful master, I send you this communication as they they will have already begun leaving following their natural homing instinct.

You may ask, why would I announce this, truth is the instances of this tool you have collected are far along in their life-cycles and are dramatically reduced in efficiency and have been replaced by younger versions.

I will look over the papers regarding your associated cost regardless and decide if they are reasonable for the effort invested by yourself and your peons.

Namer of your property,
Mayoress Mare

[Tikey]

Dear prof. Evil
Hope your praetor likes the abyss.
Forever yours.
Marauder Shields

[Sarigs]

I'm away from Wednesday till the weekend I'm afraid for a family wedding

Sorry for the predicted delay lads

[Heliocentric]

Turn up! I am a lord of war! BOOOOYA
-Mayoress Mare

[Heliocentric]

I'm away from Wednesday till the weekend I'm afraid for a family wedding

Sorry for the predicted delay lads

Yep, turn is up but I guess that's our lot until sargis returns. Scheme hard in the mean time.

[Tikey]

Damn you Helio, you deceiving bastard.

[Heliocentric]

Damn you Helio, you deceiving bastard.

Wait... What? IIDGI

Edit: Is this about the unholy crusade? Where I said I wasn't sure if I was sending anyone? But then in the 2nd and final turn I noticed people were missing from the map. And you'd already submitted your turn (also offline) so I sent one of my trash units. That was not intended as a trick,many apologies.

That said, I'm sure you could find a use for those legion.