Page 4 of 12 FirstFirst ... 23456 ... LastLast
Results 61 to 80 of 234
  1. #61
    Lesser Hivemind Node Jiiiiim's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    757
    Right, tomorrow is DENTHARIAL'S MAGNUM OPUS so post taht when you are ready sir

    Everybody else while you're waiting, pop back to the first post and marvel at my sheer mastery of paint. You'll note I've put myself on the Wight's crotch.

  2. #62
    Network Hub
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    216
    Ladies and Gentlemen! Boys and Girls! Gather around all denizens of RPS Blood Bowl! What's behind door number 4?

    Well now, it's a story of something that happened to me one Christmas eve. Come inside, and listen.

    Twas the night before Christmas, and all 'cross the pitch,
    Not a creature was stirring, not even a lich.
    Each player was nestled, all snug in their bed,
    With dreams of tomorrow, and the blood to be shed.

    I used the evening to check all of my plans,
    But most of my chances were out of my hands.
    My apo groped an elf, and is under a curse.
    (To be honest, that can't really make him much worse)

    My wizard is still not yet out on probation.
    The ref's gone to hide at a secret location.
    My cheerleaders? Just models! Made out of wood!
    (Though it didn't stop the apo trying what he could)

    All my players: demoralized, beaten, and sore.
    They just are not able to take any more.
    But while my lower region seemed caught in a vice,
    From the outside came the sound of rolled dice.

    Out on the touchline, I receive a surprise
    For there stands a figure with bright, blood red eyes.
    Wearing dark robes, and one thick, gut-stained glove,
    Can be none but St. Nuffle, come down from above!

    I duck into the crowd stands, and under a chair,
    Trying to keep out of that baleful stare.
    But I needn't have worried, he's focussed and swift,
    Quickly bestowing his own brand of gift.

    The balls are all greased up with fresh piglet lard,
    A magical dust makes the ground extra hard.
    After laying caltrops to catch the unwary,
    He poisons the tools of the apothecary

    Boot studs are sharpened, and helmets removed,
    All of the chainsaws become extra grooved.
    Just when I believe he's done with his designs,
    Both of the endzones are filled with landmines.

    With his plans complete to end many careers,
    Nuffle ascended on a cloud of elf tears.
    But I heard him exclaim, 'ere he flew out of sight,
    "Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good fight!"
    Started writing a blog for video games, roleplaying, game mechanics, and AARs.

    http://dentharial.blogspot.com/

  3. #63
    Secondary Hivemind Nexus Squiz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Arcadia
    Posts
    4,500
    Will you guys please stop to make such excellent contributions?



    Thanks Dentharial, that made me smile, well done. :)

  4. #64
    Secondary Hivemind Nexus Ian's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Hamilton, UK
    Posts
    1,079
    That was excellent Dentharial.

    And I think that is the most spectacular graphical achievement of our age, Jim.
    A brave heart and a courteous tongue. They shall carry thee far through the jungle, manling.

  5. #65
    Secondary Hivemind Nexus groovychainsaw's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    East Herts., UK
    Posts
    1,155
    Well crikey, those are a bit good so far. (I particularly like the reference to grooved chainsaws, nicely done, Dentharial :-). I've been practising my creative writing. Everyone likes gory, viscerally described violence, right?

  6. #66
    Secondary Hivemind Nexus LowKey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Edinburgh
    Posts
    1,210
    Excellent!

  7. #67
    Secondary Hivemind Nexus
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    1,441
    Awesome (extra characters to make 10)

  8. #68
    Secondary Hivemind Nexus Ian's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Hamilton, UK
    Posts
    1,079
    Saturday's entry is done. :) Best get Sunday's finished now.
    A brave heart and a courteous tongue. They shall carry thee far through the jungle, manling.

  9. #69
    Secondary Hivemind Nexus ChainsawHands's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Glasgow
    Posts
    1,102
    Great work from everyone so far, and I am definitely not planning to kill Dentharial now... ;-)

  10. #70
    Secondary Hivemind Nexus President Weasel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    2,615
    God damn it to hell, I was most of the way through "Twas the night before Blood Bowl"

    (and all through the Haven, not a creature was stirring, not even a Skaven).

    Poo bums.

  11. #71
    Secondary Hivemind Nexus Screwie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Swansea
    Posts
    3,234
    Quote Originally Posted by President Weasel View Post
    God damn it to hell, I was most of the way through "Twas the night before Blood Bowl"
    This kind of thing is exactly what I'm dreading. I fear I'm not nearly original enough for this sort of thing.

    (Still, great stuff Dentharial!)

  12. #72
    Network Hub
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    216
    Quote Originally Posted by President Weasel View Post
    God damn it to hell, I was most of the way through "Twas the night before Blood Bowl"

    (and all through the Haven, not a creature was stirring, not even a Skaven).

    Poo bums.
    I figured it might well happen, since we're all going to be mining the same traditions. I think you should go ahead and post yours anyway, and then we can battle it out with a freestyle Blood Bowl rap battle at the next live draw after that.

    Quote Originally Posted by groovychainsaw View Post
    Well crikey, those are a bit good so far. (I particularly like the reference to grooved chainsaws, nicely done, Dentharial :-).
    That particular line was a real product of luck. I was struggling to find something else to go there, and was trying to settle for one of several not-so-good options (for example, "Boot studs were sharpened and armour destroyed/The halftime refreshments seasoned with steroid" or "Boot studs were sharpened and armour attacked/With a click of his fingers, the ref's spectacles cracked").

    Eventually I just ended up going to rhymezone and listing out random words that you could do to armour and helmets. When 'removed' turned up 'grooved' as a rhyme, I felt the opportunity to do an in-joke was too good to ignore, even though 'helmets removed' still seems a little weak to me.
    Started writing a blog for video games, roleplaying, game mechanics, and AARs.

    http://dentharial.blogspot.com/

  13. #73
    Secondary Hivemind Nexus LowKey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Edinburgh
    Posts
    1,210
    Quote Originally Posted by President Weasel View Post
    God damn it to hell, I was most of the way through "Twas the night before Blood Bowl"

    (and all through the Haven, not a creature was stirring, not even a Skaven).

    Poo bums.
    That's why I went first!

  14. #74
    Secondary Hivemind Nexus laneford's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    England and Nowhere
    Posts
    1,235
    Good work Dentharial! Brilliant stuff.

  15. #75
    Secondary Hivemind Nexus ChainsawHands's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Glasgow
    Posts
    1,102
    Rather unfortunate timing on this, but it was already finished by the time Dentharial posted, so I'm just going ahead with it. Also mine's bigger. ;-) (Holy balls the original had a lot of verses, but I felt I had to match them.)

    The Game Before Christmas

    ‘Twas the game before Christmas, and all over the pitch
    Not a creature was stirring, except Nuffle (that bitch)
    The weather was rolled and, with seasonal cheer
    Both dice came up sixes - a blizzard appeared!

    The players positioned, each to his own square
    With three at the front (no one wants to go there)
    Troll in the middle, stood facing an ent
    (Legally “treeman”, but we know what they meant).

    An orc kicked the ball, through the air it did soar
    “Dey’ll prob’ly catch it, stoopid agility four”
    But all was not well for the pointy-eared gits
    Can it be? Praise Nuffle, it is, it’s a blitz!

    The ball’s spiky shadow on new-fallen snow
    A signpost to show da boyz which way to go
    But standing in quite the most awkwardest place
    A bloody wardancer! “Quick boyz, punch ‘er face!”

    They started their drive now, so lively and quick
    (If, for speed comparison, some dwarfs you pick)
    Orcs doing their best to be speedy, not lame
    Their coach whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

    "Now black orc! now lineman! now sure-handed thrower!
    Troll's in a tackle zone: on, goblin and blitzer!
    To the top of the pitch! - not forgetting the ball -
    And injure those stupid elfs, injure them all!”

    As fast as a halfling when dinner is seen
    They poured up the pitch in a river of green
    For greenskins they all seemed remarkably fleet
    (The blitzer had picked up both sprint and sure feet).

    And then, in a twinkling, success was annulled
    The block on the wardancer was double skulled!
    The crowd held their breath, was the match turned around?
    As onto the pitch Nuffle he came with a bound.

    He scattered dice round him, on pitch and on stand
    And they’d each roll a one, wherever they’d land
    A bundle of dead players strung on his back
    (Three elfs and six skaven, for those keeping track).

    His snake-eyes they twinkled! A sight far from merry!
    Did the greenskins look scared? They didn’t (not very)!
    For the odds of their failure they’d greatly reduced
    By means of a reroll they’d smartly induced.

    The coach clutched the dice, carved from kroxigor teef
    To roll two more skulls would be beyond belief
    He shook them about, cast the dice on the ground -
    And “in your face Nuffle - it’s defender down!”

    And then with a crunching the wardancer’s face
    Was punched in, her teeth flew all over the place
    The goblin, to make sure that she was kaput,
    Then fouled her to death with a sneaky wee boot.

    Nuffle spoke not a word, but faded from sight
    Though he often was felt for the rest of the night
    As elfs failed to dodge, orcs to pick up the ball
    By halftime the score still stood at nill-all.

    In the end, neither team felt the match was a dud -
    The elfs won in touchdowns, the orcs won in blood
    And those left alive heard Nuffle exclaim:
    “Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good game!”

  16. #76
    Secondary Hivemind Nexus Ian's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Hamilton, UK
    Posts
    1,079
    I liked it a lot, 'Hands. It didn't suffer for there having already been a Night Before Christmas thing. :)

    Pleased that nothing like my two have been done yet. Still two days for Squirrel and Laneford to change that of course.
    Last edited by Ian; 05-12-2012 at 04:41 PM. Reason: me cnat spel gud
    A brave heart and a courteous tongue. They shall carry thee far through the jungle, manling.

  17. #77
    Secondary Hivemind Nexus groovychainsaw's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    East Herts., UK
    Posts
    1,155
    Great work chainsawhands too :-), as Ian said, not diminished by being in a familiar form at all.

  18. #78
    Network Hub
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    216
    One of my favourite types of music to listen to is remixes and rearrangements, just because I love hearing how people put different spins on things. Also, for years now, I've been rewriting lyrics to songs for various communities I was a part of, because I enjoy seeing how to twist jokes in and hide double meanings.

    What I'm getting at is that I don't by any means feel any sense of competition or crowding with people doing the same thing.

    Actually I really like seeing other people handle the same poem that I did, and seeing how differently it came out. In the 2 examples we have so far, I like how we took different perspectives. For me, it was very much an 'In-character' meeting with Nuffle. For 'hands, it was much more on the game mechanics side, and Nuffle as a fickle dice tweaker.

    I can't wait to see what anybody else comes up with too.
    Last edited by Dentharial; 05-12-2012 at 05:10 PM.
    Started writing a blog for video games, roleplaying, game mechanics, and AARs.

    http://dentharial.blogspot.com/

  19. #79
    Secondary Hivemind Nexus ChainsawHands's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Glasgow
    Posts
    1,102
    Yeah, I felt it was different enough that I'd be fine just going with it. I got the opening rhyme and went from there, and I was pretty pleased when I realised I could fit the players into the "Donner and Blitzen" bit.

  20. #80
    Network Hub
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    216
    Yeah! I spent a while agonizing over not including that, since it's one of the iconic moments. I'm glad to see it was put into your version.
    Started writing a blog for video games, roleplaying, game mechanics, and AARs.

    http://dentharial.blogspot.com/

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •