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  1. #1
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    Rock, Paper, MOUSE, OHMYGODAMOUSE!!!!

    So, yeah, sorry about that team, especially Hiphippopotamus* who had kindly given me an entertaining if somewhat risky lift and was left alone in an enemy base. But there was a mouse crawling up my leg. I'm so happy I had push to talk enabled so you didn't hear my high pitched squeal when I realized. Said leg is now mysteriously itchy.

    Also my girlfriend has asked to point out that we don't live in filth, lest you think I'm gaming in a London slum...

    *I think, my memory of PS2 was rather overtaken by having vermin crawl up my lower limbs. Profound apologies if it wasn't.
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  2. #2
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    One of my cats jumped on my keyboard last night. It was the reason why the scythe I was flying flew into a mountainside.


    At least that's my excuse and I'm sticking with it

  3. #3
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    The thing with cats is whatever you're doing (playing games, filling out complex and important paperwork, desperately reaching for an EpiPen before your throat closes) is clearly not as important as what they want you to do, so they feel no guilt in preventing you from doing it. So in that respect I'd recommend the mouse as a pet to all gamers, as I totally didn't realise it was there for about 30 mins (I thought it was my headphone cable dragging against my leg).
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  4. #4
    Lesser Hivemind Node LaKroy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Guvornator View Post
    I'd recommend the mouse as a pet to all gamers
    I can attest that fish are very gentle and unintrusive pets, as I do my gaming less than 1 metre from them and have never had a problem with that. :p

  5. #5
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    I imagine they're pretty unlikely to scuttle up the inside of your trousers, either...
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  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Guvornator View Post
    I imagine they're pretty unlikely to scuttle up the inside of your trousers, either...
    If they did though. Holy shit...
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  7. #7
    Lesser Hivemind Node Dominicus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Guvornator View Post
    I imagine they're pretty unlikely to scuttle up the inside of your trousers, either...
    Global warming man, Global warming I tell you!

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Hoc View Post
    If they did though. Holy shit...
    Probably best not to get a octopus, just in case...
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  9. #9
    Network Hub Grible's Avatar
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    How did I miss this? damned going to bed... Thank you for making me almost snort my morning tea out of my nose in hilarity.

  10. #10
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    I sort of feel I should flesh this out a bit, if only to make Grible spray whatever food or beverage he is currently consuming across his monitor . So:

    The Background:

    When we moved into our flat, we discovered that the place was infested with mice. The previous tenants were student who clearly hadn't given a shit about clearing up, plus one of the first things we did when we moved in was go to Canada for 2 weeks, so the mice basically had the run of the place for 2 months. Getting them out was frustrating and mildly traumatic, culminating in a standoff involving a mouse under the TV, in which I totally unsuccessfully failed to catch it but totally successfully managed to hurt myself. After that, we threw away all of our non- lethal solutions, spent the best part of £50 on something that's capable of electrocuting rats to death and killed 3 of the little fuckers in 3 nights. We boarded up up the holes, stuffed wire wool in and gap between the pipes and that, it seemed, was that.

    The Scene
    :

    A flat in London. More specifically the living/kitchen room of said flat (we've got a sort of open plan thing going on, only not quite as glamorous as that sounds). Fresh back for a day out at Kew Gardens, I'm playing PS2 in my "comfy pants" a pair of Lonsdale tracksuit bottoms while my girlfriend watches TV on the sofa and takes her hair extensions out. It's a little idyll of domestic bliss.

    Annnd Action:

    So, I'm playing PS2 and I'm really into it, help of course by playing with such friendly and funny chaps as yourselves. As we're approaching Dahaka Pump Station I feel a movement on my slipper and bottom of my tracksuit bottoms. In as much as I notice it, I think it's maybe my headphone lead brushing my leg, but really I'm entirely focused on kicking some TR bottom* and also driving the Sundie without killing all of us**.

    Later on in the battle of Dahaka Pump Station, I feel another movement, further up on my shin. At this point bits of my brain start pointing out that this is a little unusual, but I've got bigger issues, namely that bugger with the AP turret and light assaults turning up behind me. I keep a mental eye out, though.

    So, after that fight is finished, bunch of people leave to go to bed and I hitch a left in a harasser to the Impact Site. This ends in hilarious mayhem as it's driven quite fast off the lip of the crater and we bounce down into the base on fire. Nothing a medikit won't fix, so we continue on our merry way. another couple of people leave. Then, it happens.

    I feel a movement just below my knee, and this time it's DEFIANTLY not my headphone cable. In a about 5 seconds the following happens:

    I SHRIEK incredibly loudly. Literally shriek. This prompts my girlfriend to also shriek, not least because my shriek has caused her to mildly stab herself with her comb.

    I shoot out of my chair, which, having wheels, crashes into the dining table, knocking over the salt cellar.

    I pull off my comfy pants, accidentally pulling off my undies as well, so when my girlfriend turns to ask me what happens, I'm half naked, and the rude half at that. Not for the first time in our relationship a look of supreme bewilderment as to how she's ended up with me, what crimes she committed in a past life etc etc crosses her face.

    I realise that I'm still holding my tracksuit bottoms in my hand, and those tracksuit bottoms have a THING inside them. For a moment of genuine idiocy, I start looking for the THING, until self preservation kicks in a and reminds me that I have absolutely no idea of what the THING is. It could be a snake or scorpion*** for all I know. I fling it to the floor, at which point the mouse runs out of the crotch area of the tracksuit bottom. Note the use of the phrase "out of" - it was actually climbing up the INSIDE of my trousers. It scarpers behind the washing machine, leaving me trouserless, shaking and thorough mouse-lested. I put my pants on and told everyone that I was logging off because I mouse crawled up my trousers, to general confusion and some laughter.

    The rest of the night was spent repairing a sideboard that had come away. Not sure what the neighbours made of what was going on. if I'd heard two loud shrieks then a lot of banging I'd have put a chair in front of the door, pulled the covers over my head and hope to God I made the morning...



    *bless my sweet naivety
    **first time driving RPS giraffes around. Thanks for the help, and not laughing too much when I almost flipped it.
    *** While this might seem a little dramatic, I was brought up near Sheppy, which has the UK's only wild Scorpion population. They're not dangerous, though.
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  11. #11
    Secondary Hivemind Nexus Cooper's Avatar
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    The best solution I've had to mice (which I've had a few times in a few places; as I've usually lived near parks) is to simply starve them out.

    Make sure anything vaguely edible is inaccessible. This means buying shit tonnes of tupperware and absolutely anything that isn't in the fridge or freezer or jar or can inside a plastic box.

    Then keep the kitchen really clean. Wihtin a week they'll simply have moved next door. Cheap, easy and you get your kitchen in order whilst doing so.
    Quote Originally Posted by CROCONOUGHTKEY
    KING GEORGE IS A FROG
    le BANG~__-MICHEAL FUCK OFF~~__-INTERPOL KNOW YOU WELLBIENG~—
    OFF
    NOT RUSHMORE MOUNTAIN
    KILL WESTON KILL MUST KILLTHEWESTERNINMYHEADDOESN’TEXSIST
    TEXASISDEADINPARISHEWASAMAN..BINGBING.TETTOHEAD.SP ACEOK,TIMEDEADANDSTOPPED1920HOKKAIDO.UNDERSTOODAT1 ONE.
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    BANG

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Guvornator View Post
    I SHRIEK incredibly loudly. Literally shriek. This prompts my girlfriend to also shriek, not least because my shriek has caused her to mildly stab herself with her comb.
    Such a shame we weren't using a voice activated chat.

  13. #13
    Obscure Node gary's Avatar
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    i remember once one of my cats dropped a dead crow on my keyboard while playing counterstrike, my cats have chewed through 3 mice cables and flattened another (they liked to sit on it for some ungodly reason, and now its about half its original size.) so now I have to use a wireless mouse which always seems t odie when i'm gunning a lib or driving a magrider. so in short i would have to say getting cats is a very bad idea.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Benzene View Post
    Such a shame we weren't using a voice activated chat.
    It would have burst your eardrums.
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  15. #15
    Network Hub Henlaaz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Guvornator View Post
    I pull off my comfy pants, accidentally pulling off my undies as well, so when my girlfriend turns to ask me what happens, I'm half naked, and the rude half at that.
    I'm totally using `a mouse just ran up my leg` excuse for the next time I'm caught..

    erm.. I mean the first time..

  16. #16
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    Mice won't explain your internet history...
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  17. #17
    Secondary Hivemind Nexus EsotericReverie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Guvornator View Post
    Mice won't explain your internet history...
    lol /tenchar
    Steam: EsotericReverie | Origin: EsotericReverie | Planetside 2: EsotericReverie | Battle.net: Esoteric#2168

  18. #18
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    I go away for a week and I miss all the best stuff!

    We had mice problems intermittently for years (farm country, so even if you kill them, more come in from the farm buildings during winter and set up shop). Although traps were useful, the thing that really got the buggers was poison deposits. They only live in the outdoors-y bits of the house anyway, so when they die they decompose quietly and without intrusion.

    Didn't stop one from scaring the shite out of me when it ran across my foot, though.

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