Peek Into The Forest Trailer

By Craig Pearson on May 9th, 2013 at 8:00 pm.

This is not a forest, but it is is how you get to one in the game.

The Lost game Ubisoft put out a few years ago was a stinky pile of monster droppings. It was such a shame: if they’d managed to do it correctly, they might have stolen a march on what can only be described as a tsunami of survival games. It’s a genre that’s exploded in recent years. There’s people vs zombies, there’s people vs dinosaurs, and now there’s people vs trees, in The Forest. Oh, alright. I’m joking. But it’s what’s in the trees that’s scary.
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Cowboy Ker-Bop: Showdown Effect Gets Free DLC

By Nathan Grayson on May 9th, 2013 at 7:00 pm.

[a tumbleweed rolls by, explodes]

LAST TIME, ON THE SHOWDOWN EFFECT:

[Cars explode or something]

Arnold Schwarzenegger parody: “Wow, this sure is great! I can slice and shoot people, and it’s all so fast-pace– [gets sliced and shot to pieces, emits comical death yodel].”

[More explosions, no one looks at them]

Elderly monk man: “Hah, that was too easy. Which is basically what this game becomes after you figure out the rhythm and realize there are only a few weapons, items, and character abilities. There’s just not much long-term value. Er, I mean, hiyah! Tongue-in-cheek reference to a well-known action film!”

[Further explosions with no apparent cause]

Explosions: “Hey, I know: you guys should go to the Wild West for some reason. Westerns were kind of action movies, right? They had guns and stuff. Also, fantastic soundtracks. Er, I mean, ka-boom.”

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First Fables Screens Show You What All That Howl Is For

By Alec Meer on May 9th, 2013 at 6:00 pm.

The Wolf Among Us is what Telltale are calling their episodic adventure series based on Bill Willingham’s ‘what if fairy tales were real and in the present day?’ comic Fables, but let’s be honest, we’re all going to call it Fables even though it’ll confuse people who’ve only heard of Lionhead RPGs. So far all they’ve shared about their first post-Walking Dead game is some artwork and a précis, but in an unprecendent move in the games industry, they’ve now released some screenshots of their upcoming videogame. It has a lot in common with The Walking Dead’s comic art come to life look, but ramped up, gothier, stranger. I don’t really know the comics, but I dig the look of this a lot. Wolf these down.
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Hands On: Rogue Legacy

By John Walker on May 9th, 2013 at 5:00 pm.

It’s foolish to try to predict a hit.

I cannot imagine a world in which Rogue Legacy is not a hit.

There’s no question that Rogue Legacy owes a massive amount to Spelunky. But crucially, it’s an evolution of the type of game, not a mimic, a festival of completely original ideas on top of a familiar roguelike platformer mechanic. In each new game a castle (and later tower, forest and dungeon) is procedurally generated in gorgeous 2D pixel art, into which your brave hero must venture, gathering gold, blueprints and bonus items, seeing how far he or she can reach before inevitable death. But rather than starting again from scratch, here every death is met with progress.

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Thunder Wolves Thunder Wolves THUNDER WOLVES!

By John Walker on May 9th, 2013 at 4:00 pm.

Thunder Wolves is looking rather good. Because of my time travel privileges, I’ve already had a good play of it, and found myself having a fun time. But those who weren’t handsome enough to get the Time Travel Belt 3000 only have a week to wait to get your hands on it – May 15th. In the meantime, why not look at a trailer of the game? No, not a good enough reason – look at it. Detailed analysis below.

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Total War: Rome II Release Date Unleashed, New Trailer

By John Walker on May 9th, 2013 at 3:00 pm.

Careful! You'll tread on that guy.

Total War: Rome II has a release date. Facts, straight at the front. That’s what I’m all about: business. Focused on the matter at hand, not allowing myself to wander off and start writing about bees or nostrils, like some airheaded buffoon. Too many gaming sites these days seem to think that they, the author – in my case John Walker, aged 35, living in Bath, son of Meg and Hugh, about 5’11″, blue/green eyes, first class degree in Youth & Community Work And Applied Theology, married, no children, one cat – are the more important aspect of the story rather than the news itself, the precious pieces of information for which the reader has come to the website, not wanting it to be obfuscated amongst trivial nonsense about the writer’s breakfast (I didn’t even have any breakfast today, so couldn’t tell you if I wanted to) or what colour socks they’re wearing. (Black.)

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Digging Up Civ V: Brave New World Footage

By Craig Pearson on May 9th, 2013 at 2:00 pm.


I am saddened to admit that I am not a Civilization player. My brain does not work in that way. No matter how much I try, I just bounce off the game, and then I’m pushed out the way by mean Civ bullies who mock my tactical and diplomatic failings. It’s like home economics all over again. But I’m a bigger man than those meanies, and don’t begrudge Civ fans the opportunity to see the new expansion pack, A Brave New World. And I don’t begrudge Revison3 the hits for the preview that I am shamelessy yoinking. Do click here, as that Sessler guy seems like a nice chap.
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An Hour With UFO Online’s Beta: Choose You Faction

By Alec Meer on May 9th, 2013 at 1:00 pm.

UFO Online is a free to play, browser-based turn-based strategy game from Gamigo, and it’s heavily based on both X-COM and XCOM. It’s in open beta now. I tried to play it.

It’s enemies’s turn! I do love me a shonkily-translated game, and whatever happened while gamingo’s browser-based X-COMlike UFO Online was being transformed from German to English, the net result is that it reads like it was written by Gollum.

Grammar-snark aside, does this turn-based strategy offering manage to capture the glory of the all-father of PC gaming? Well, I made it less than an hour in before it bluescreened my computer, but that was more than enough to make me feel like I’d taken a bath in a tub full of used nappies.
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So It Goes: World Of Warcraft Loses 1.3 Million More Subs

By Nathan Grayson on May 9th, 2013 at 12:00 pm.

Clearly, all this 'massively multiplayer' silliness was a fad. Can we have Warcraft IV now?

That’s subscribers. Not subway sandwiches. Don’t get me wrong: I’d definitely put out a press release and hold an investor call if I misplaced a veritable volcano fortress of sandwiches. In it, I would drastically downgrade my quarterly expectations and ask if I could borrow a few hundred-thousand loaves of bread from anyone. But anyway. Activision gathered its friends and countrymen for another sermon on the moneymount today, and of course, World of Warcraft was a big focus. And while the previous reported total of 9.6 million subscribers was still quite impressive in its own way, it wasn’t exactly on the up-and-up. Since the end of last year, the most massive player in the massively multiplayer arena has bled another 1.3 million people, their shiny crimson change pooling into the gutters below. The kicker? In a decidedly un-Activision move, the publishing behemoth’s actually starting to feel a bit worried.

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Vox Rox: Some Cube World Video To Make You Happy

By Craig Pearson on May 9th, 2013 at 11:00 am.


I have a headache and I’m tired, so I should be a right misery guts. And I was, right up until I saw the cubic camels in the latest Cube World video. The block-based RPG gets more and more winning everytime I see it, so right now it’s at peak winningness. What’s new since the last time Adam glared into bright colours of the blocky adventure? Classes, crafting, pets. The usual RPG bling, but presented in the loveliest package I’ve seen in quite some time.
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Tonight: Come Play Planetside 2 With Us!

By Jim Rossignol on May 9th, 2013 at 10:00 am.


Tonight on Planetside 2‘s Miller server, from 7pm UK, we will be doing laser war. Everyone is invited. You are doubly invited if you haven’t played the game before. On the Vanu faction, our heroic team of giraffe-fatigued warriors will be organising platoons for you all to play in, making an ideal introduction to the game. They’ve provided a guide to play which you can read here. That’s presented as a video, if you want to watch it as such, below. Also: action video!
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Weapons Free: EA Cutting Gun Licenses, Keeping Guns

By Nathan Grayson on May 9th, 2013 at 9:00 am.

What, you think this is a gun? Haha, of course not. It's a blammy club. Duh.

I don’t think it’s a stretch to say Battlefield would be a very different game if it didn’t have any guns. Perhaps you would instead aggressively point and yell at angry men until they realized you were even angrier, hurriedly stepping aside and saying, “Phew, I don’t want to mess with that guy.” Or maybe the series would simply be renamed “Field,” and you’d be in charge of a) tending to grass and b) callously sweeping aside dead bodies, coping with their lingering, bottomless stares as you hurl them into mass graves. (Someone, make this.) Regardless, that’s why EA’s not tossing out guns any time soon. It is, however, taking the ones it already has and going home – far away from the license-holders and manufacturers who might feel entitled to a chunk of their change.

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BJ Blazkowhaaat? – Wolfenstein Won’t Have Multiplayer

By Nathan Grayson on May 9th, 2013 at 8:00 am.

I might be a Nazi, but even I'm shocked at this development! Also, what's a videogame?

I may sound somewhat incredulous in the headline, but in the 0.2 seconds it took me to hop down here, I had quite a change of heart. Sure, Wolfenstein’s had multiplayer since Return To Castle Wolfenstein in 2001, but only in Wolfenstein: Enemy Territory did it ever really shine. 2009′s Wolfenstein, meanwhile, didn’t do anything particularly well – multiplayer included. So maybe it’s best left on the cutting room floor in favor of single-player’s, er, Xbox red ring robots, I guess? The recent trailer did a spectacularly bad job of telling us what it’s actually about, so that’s all I’ve got. But yes, multiplayer’s officially out of Wolfenstein: The New Order.

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