Rock, Paper, Shotgun

Hello youse.

I’ve been thinking a lot about what I wrote last week – particularly that part about how we move new people into playing board games. It seems so fucking weird that I care. I’m trying to place myself in the shoes of someone who doesn’t give a shit about board games. They’re looking at me, I’m sure, thinking “Why can’t I just not like this crap? Can you please allow me to not like this childish crap?” But I’m getting weird about it. I think society needs more people playing games together at one table in one room. I think it might be a vital thing.

This week, I want to try to attack this thing head-on.
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2. Hello youse.
3. It strikes me that we haven’t done a LIST PIECE in a while, and that’s a little bit crazy. After all, everyone loves lists. Many of the most popular written pieces on the internet are purely lists. And nothing encourages debate more than a good list.
4. “Hey, did you see that list?” “I can’t believe what was number one on that list!” “That list is ridiculous! I am so outraged by the order of listed items on that list!”
5. That kind of thing.
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Hello youse.

Listen. I’ve escaped from the jaws of Apple. If an apple can have jaws, that is. My household went a bit Apple-mad for a while there. I had an iPhone, my girlfriend had an iPhone, we bought an iPad for the living room table. I mean, we didn’t go INSANE or anything. It’s not like we did anything totally stupid like buying a Mac. But still, we were on board the Apple train like a couple of silly pips. That’s all changed, though. The iPhones are gone, because they were shite. We now never ever again have to use iTunes, a piece of software so hopelessly awful the timer programming on my microwave laughs at it.

But we still have the iPad. And it was on that iPad I played Talisman: Prologue. Why is this relevant to you? Why is this relevant to the Rock Paper Shotgun PC Master Race Gatekeepers Of Joy And Light? Well, it’s also a PC game. And Talisman: Prologue will be followed this summer by a game called Talisman: Digital Edition. And that’s coming to PC too, probably on Steam. And in this way we “do an introduction” to our “column”.
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Hello youse.

We haven’t talked about Blood Bowl properly yet, have we? Let’s correct that shit right now. What kind of board game column is this if we haven’t even talked about Blood Bowl?

You want to talk about all things Blood Bowl? Cool. Me too.
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Hello youse.

With this being a recommendation column, you very rarely hear me being negative about a board game. I try to keep this a positive little place – one corner of the internet that is always happy. But I don’t want you to think that every board game I play is a joy. I think it’s important that you understand how easy it is for a board game to fail.

I’m a guy who tries to see the best in stuff. I try to overlook little niggling flaws if the overall experience is a fun one. But sometimes, in board games, one little thing can be enough to fuck over the whole deal. It’s DIFFICULT to make a good board game. Believe that.

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Hello youse.

It’s difficult to explain why board gaming is so great. You can talk about clever mechanics and pretty pictures all you want, but the magic of board gaming is always held within the experience of play. The challenge we face when trying to encourage new people to play board games is in how we relate those experiences.

Today, we visit the Fairgrounds.
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Hello youse.

You all know how I feel about Talisman. If you don’t, you can read my giant Talisman piece here.

You back? What do you mean you didn’t even go? Okay, I’ll recap here for you. I love Talisman so much and I want to kiss it. That’s pretty much the size of it. So let’s look at Relic, the new Warhammer 40K-themed Talisman from Fantasy Flight. You know how I feel about Warhammer stuff, don’t you? What? You don’t?!

You really don’t know me at all, do you?
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1. NEW GAMERS JOURNAL – INTRODUCTION

See the Raven.

Watch the Raven as it watches you.

Time is running out for you. The Raven, one of many, will watch forever. Your eyes, however, will close.

Welcome to this week’s column about board games.

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Hello youse.

Last week I promised that today we’d be looking at Kemet, a new Egyptian-themed conquest board game from the mob that released the amazing Cyclades. Sadly, the game’s been like gold dust, its first print vanishing before I managed to lay my hands on it. I even ordered it on a website, then was emailed the next day and told that they were out of stock. I was distraught, feeling like those archaeologists who discovered a pyramid, only to find that grave robbers had already been in there stealing all the daft statues and shagging all the mummies.

So where do you go when you can’t go to Ancient Egypt? To the Ancient Egypt in the sky, of course. To space.

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Hello youse.

In this first part of my series about bringing new people into board gaming, I invite you to join me in the process. We’re doing something special here. If you get even ONE more person playing these games, you’ve done them a service and you’ve done board game designers a service. You’ll essentially be a superhero. It will, quite literally, be the best thing you have ever done and the greatest thing you’ve ever achieved. That’s how crappy your life is.
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Hello youse.

An interlude. I need to talk to you about Minigame Library, Level 99′s collection of small games in one box. I haven’t played all the games yet (there are 6 in total) but I’ve played enough to make my decision on whether or not you should pick this up. And you should. You really really should. Let me tell you why in a column I like to call “EVENTUALLY I GET TO MY POINT AND JUST SAY THIS – PLAY INFINITY DUNGEON”.
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