Rock, Paper, Shotgun

CSI is a show that invents sexy technology to solve crimes (CSI means Cool Solvers International, madeupfact fans). I honestly don’t know how any crime gets done with the level of tech they have. Gary Sinese once solved a crime with a spoon and a cornea, which reads like something I’d make up for one of my silly story intros. Honestly, if your plot could be written by a man in his pants at a PC then you might want to think about a second-draft. What has that got to do with Jagged Alliance Flashback? The currently Kickstarting strategy game has just released a strange, cool interactive screenshot that’s like something out of David Caruso’s imaginary software emporium.
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Sometimes a pun appears that is so bad that it manages to elevate all other culture. I’ve tried and failed many times to create such a pun in my lab, and the many RPS comment threads are probably ground zero of several pun epidemics that have taken their toll on the world. It’s over. We failed. I’ve discovered a pun so grotesquely awful that even Simon Cowell’s TV shows and celebrity biographies with the word “Dream” in the title have just taken one step up on the culture-o-meter. Ray’s The Dead, a Pikmin-like strategy game about a zombie called Ray and his undead friends, has just made the world a better place.
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Redemption. Usually, it’s synonymous with some form of return, comeback, or newfound evidence of worth. It’d have been kind of a shame (in a bizarre, cosmic kind of way), then, if something called Road Redemption crashed and burned before it even crossed the starting line. Fortunately, the Road Rash spiritual successor ended its funding drive with a respectable $173,803, putting it ever-so-slightly beyond its $160,000 goal. Soon, there will be much katana jousting and celebratory roadkill feasting. But first: Steam and, you know, actually finishing the game.

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Do you know what the very scariest thing is? No, no, not losing your mind and truly believing that – I don’t know – you always have to sneeze but never can. Obviously, it’s the realization that your multi-million dollar crowdfunding campaign might not reach the golden heights you originally anticipated. Which is not to say that Shadow of the Eternals is a sinking ship, but a hair over $150,000 (of a $1,500,000 goal) in one week is maybe not the most surefire start. And so, “due to overwhelming popular demand,” Precursor has launched a Kickstarter on top of the main drive, and it’s off to… well, I can certainly confirm it’s started.

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When you mention web-spinning games, there’s one distinct cry: Spider-Man 2! Lauded for its swooshing through the streets, it’s the game to which all others fall short in this respect. As we reported a few months back, the man responsible for that well-loved slinging is working on Energy Hook, that intends to take the mechanic and go further with it. That’s Jamie Fristrom, the technical director and designer on Spidey 2, who was the one who ensured that the webs had to attach to buildings, rather than the sky. And now he’s after your cash. All $1 of it.

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As PC gamers, we have an embarrassment of riches when it comes to control options. Even the basic mouse-and-keyboard setup makes controllers look like sticks with M&Ms glued on. And touch screens? Easily smudged windows into tiny worlds where no one listens to us. But we only have so many fingers, and growing more arms is hard. The, er, surprisingly viable answer? A foot controller named for the odor it will no doubt give off unless you use scented soap bars as arch supports. Yes, the Stinky Footboard is most certainly a thing, and a fully Kickstarted one at that.

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The latest footage of Rawbots impresses even more than previously. The game in which you design, build and program your own robots, and indeed the world you play in. A sandbox sandbox. It looks a combination of daunting and remarkable – and check out the hand at the end of the video below.

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Hnnng. HNNNNNNNNG! HNNNNNNNNNN… Gah! It’s no good. I can’t move the clementine on my desk using the power of my mind. All I succeeded in doing was bursting a blood vessel and accidentally predicting the next 100 years of winning Lottery numbers. Stupid brain. I want floating citrussy goodness, not creepy eyes and untold wealth. I guess I’ll have to instead turn to Son Of Nor, the third-person RPG where you reshape the world with your mental powers. The promising third-person action game of world telekinesis and terraforming has just popped up on the crowd-funding site. The pitch is below.
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What will we be describing promising games like in the post-post-Minecraft age? What will be zeiting the geist of 2016? I think it’ll be something to do with pigeons and cheese: you heard it here first. Meantime, we’re still in the post-Minecraft age, and that means attractive and inventive games based around cubist construction/destruction. Latest of those is Stonehearth, currently on the Kickstarters and immediately looking gosh-wow-yes-please. It’s a sandbox RTS with at least partially freeform building, and gigantic elder gods.
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Metroidvania meets Gradius sounds like the sort of thing you could only wish for, chin leant your your interlocked fingers, elbows on the windowsill looking out into a rainy day. But by crikey, that’s what Gamesbymo are up to with A.N.N.E. A 2D pixel art hybrid of ship-flying shoot-em-up and physics puzzles, and on-foot platforming that promises Metroid-like progression. Wants.

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