Rock, Paper, Shotgun

Look at that! It’s the first screenshot from Legend of Grimrock 2 and it’s one of the worst pictures of a dungeon I’ve ever seen, right up there with the Mona Lisa and Magritte’s not-a-pipe-nor-a-dungeon. After creating some top notch dank dungeons for their first RPG, Almost Human appear to have slipped up and the dungeons in Grimrock 2 will apparently contain some trees and blue skies, and crenellated turrets peering from on high, just around the next bend in the path. Of course, it’s entirely possible that the picture isn’t a dungeon at all and that the game is undergoing a design overhaul. Let’s consult the development blog.

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For those of you that haven’t tried out Almost Human’s dungeoneering masterpiece Legend of Grimrock, shame on you, and a pox on both your houses, and oh fie is me, and please try it, it is nice. But for those hungry for more of the wonderful dank atmosphere, creepy monsters and surprisingly sexy stone walls, you can grab this new mod reworking the original maps whilst we await the second installment.
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You know what’s finally real? No, no, not high-speed space travel, a panacea for the collective shattered heart of humanity, or lights that turn themselves off when you’ve gotten way too comfortable in bed. Something better! Odds are, Legend of Grimrock II will basically be all of those things – symbolically, anyway. And it’s an actual, factual Thing now, as per word from the wonderful dungeon master race of snail people over at Almost Human. There is one downside, though: that Grimrock expansion they were working on? Sadly, it won’t be seeing the light of day.

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Two things:

1) Latter-day Dungeon Masterlike Legend of Grimrock has sold quite well. 600,000 copies or thereabouts, in fact.
2) This is well enough that IT LOOKS LIKE THEY’RE MAKING ANOTHER ONE AND IT HAS PLAYABLE RATMEN IN IT
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Here it is: the moment you’ve been waiting for – well, if you’re the sort who loves hurling your friends into devious deathtrap gauntlets filled with beasties of all shapes, sizes, and snail-nesses. And if you’re not, I think it’s safe to say that you’re no friend of mine. At any rate, the – to briefly shift into press release parlance, except with actual sincerity – hotly anticipated more-than-350-item dungeon editor for Legend of Grimrock is finally right around the corner. If you’ve got the tough-as-nails dungeon crawler on Steam, though, you can give it a go right now.

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I’ve only just found time to start playing Legend of Grimrock, despite awaiting it eagerly for months. Maybe I’ll manage to finish it before the release of the dungeon editor, although the latest post from Almost Human suggests not.

…we’ve reached internal beta! All the features and functionality is done, now all it needs is just a little bit of polishing and bug fixing and then we can unleash it into the wild. We’re getting close to the finish line, folks!

But will it be possible to create a step sequencer using the editor, turning dungeons into giant drum machines? If only a video could answer that question. If only that video was just below these words.

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Wow. I always thought Legend of Grimrock would be a natural fit for a map editor, but – given that it’s a smaller project in a fairly cutthroat genre – I worried that it’d turn out to be prohibitively complicated for everyone except rocket scientists and RPS readers. Almost Human’s released a video of the almost-complete Dungeon Editor in action, though, and it actually seems tantalizingly intuitive. I mean, it’s no Perpetual Testing Initiative, but you can script some fairly complex stuff in a few clicks and try it out with a single button press. Throughout history, the existence of a cow level has been debatable, but soon, I will craft the snail level. Glistening bodies and chunky tendrils of mucus as far as the eye can see. Oh yes.

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In our never-ending quest to be a one-stop shop for dads of John Walker the world over, we are utterly dedicated to fetching whatever news-flavored scraps may fall from Almost Human’s table. Sometimes, it gets a bit weird – like when I was pretty sure mashed potatoes were news. Well, sure enough to take them, anyway. This time, though, I think I’ve come across a bit more of a sure bet. See, Legend of Grimrock will be getting some things in the future. New things, even!

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Oh, the terrible weight of expectation. How can I possibly live up to or surpass the gimmick in my last Legend of Grimrock post? Well, unless I somehow created an HTML maze that you had to solve in order to find the details about the new Grimrock patch now being out and containing some unexpected bonus goodies, I just can’t. So I’m just going to end this post right here instead. See you!

Happiness is a cold, dank dungeon filled with traps, giant poisonous spiders and not enough food. Legend of Grimrock has proved to be a welcome and surprisingly modern-feeling bearhug from dungeoneering’s past, and as well as being such a source of joy for old men like me it’s also proven profitable for devs Almost Human. “The development costs of the game have now been covered many times over so the future of the company seems pretty secure,” they claim happily in a new bloggington, which hopefully also bodes well for the future of the game. It’s the sort of thing that could potentially make the very best of a big fat synringe full of extra content. First things first though, a new patch for some of the issues in the launch version is incoming. Hidden somewhere in this post is a switch you must find and activate in order to continue reading.