Rock, Paper, Shotgun

Well, more like three hours. Make of that what you will. Particularly if it’s “Alec hasn’t had the internet for several weeks so being able to play games again is probably over-exciting him.”

So: figured I’d take a look at Bizarre Creations’ powerup-infused racer Blur, which seemed (on console at least) a little overshadowed in May by redemptive cowboys and men who were awake. On PC, it seemed barely mentioned, including by us bunch of hapeless jonnies. Whoops.
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The second special edition complete re-mastering of the Monkey Island games came out last week, and I thought since we’re not going to be Wot I Thinking it, it’d be worth having a quick look at and seeing how seaworthy this once-flagship of the genre is with its new lick of paint. Because… well, I’ll go out on a limb here and say that, for a sub-section of our readership, it’ll be their favourite adventure game of all time. Possibly the last great classic adventure they ever played. It’s certainly mine.
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We had hoped to bring your our Alpha Protocol WIT by now, but a series of unfortunate circumstances means that it’s much delayed. You might even have your own Thoughts to Wot below. So here is a description of the first hour or two, which isn’t a very pretty sight. I’m absolutely sure things much improve after this, especially now I have the game in a state in which I can play it at all. So yes, this is especially negative. No, this absolutely is NOT our review of Alpha Protocol, and anyone who says it is gets a dead arm.

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I’m playing dilettante this weekend, dabbling with some of the bigger games of the moment which I haven’t had a chance to play properly yet. Some of them are on Televisual Pleasure Boxes (Mario Galaxy and Assassin’s Creed) but one’s home is on the Personal Thinking Machines whose progress we like to chart at Rock, Paper, Shotgun. It’s Crysis.

Which is a case where I’m last guy to the party but – hey – it’s Saturday. We can all chill together.
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Something new I thought I’d try. Kind of inspired by ever-lovin’ Kyle Orland’s A Game For Lunch, basically, it’s a first impressions based solely on the first hour of a game. One hour, no more. Clearly, this isn’t a real review or anything, just a collection of initial impressions. And clearly this serves the dual purpose of creating a thread for people who have played the game further to add their own impressions. That said, a motif that occurs again and again when talking to the most successful developers is the paramount importance of the first hour of play. It may be cruel, but if a developer working in the mainstream can’t get the first hour right, there’s a large question mark over whether they can’t get ANYTHING right. Bear that in mind.

Anyway, The Witcher. For those who haven’t been paying attention, it’s a Polish RPG based around a cult-pulp fantasy books from out there. Essentially, its “thing” is that it takes all the standard fantasy tropes, and drags them through the gutter. Racism is a big theme – smartly, as racism is something built into the foundations of most modern fantasy (i.e. Some races are lesser than others. You can kill orcs and take all their stuff as – hey! – they’re orcs) – and you have things like the Elves being radical terrorists and so on. Sex, drugs, violence and an albino with a big sword (i.e. you). Adult, mature fantasy. Abstractly.

Here’s what I made of the Witcher in its designated hour..
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