Posts Tagged ‘Bad puns’

To The Extreme, I Rock Your Castle Like A Vandal

By Kieron Gillen on June 26th, 2008.

EXTREME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stronghold Crusader Extreme has a demo out. There’s actually different versions for each language you have to download separately, clocking in between 191.61 Mb (For the English) to 213.68 Mb(For the Spanish). What are the Spaniards getting that we don’t? Is it more extreme? Can the Spanish take things which the English constitution wouldn’t manage? This isn’t fair, Goddammit. Er… Impressions follow.
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It’s got Diesel. But will it be four star?

By Kieron Gillen on April 17th, 2008.

Wow. That’s what happens if you write a headline before a second cup of tea. Anyway! Here’s a trailer showing the first footage of the game of the forthcoming Vin Disel – ahem – Vehicle, Wheelman. You’ll be surprised to discover that it’s actually a hardcore Matrix-esque wargame.

Actually, it’s a driving game. It prominently features vrooming, screeching and an oddly lacksidasical Vin Disel driving. He needs an Outrun-esque girl in the seat, screaming, by way of contrast. We also hit up our exclusive contacts inside Midway and can reveal that the Midway offices of the team are “Drafty”. We’ll keep you updated.

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No “Stop! Warhammer Time”?

By Kieron Gillen on March 30th, 2008.

You dancing? You asking? I'm asking? I will sacrifice you to the Blood God.

It was going to be that or “Guildy Feet Have Got No Rhythm”, but it wouldn’t fit on the title line. First I heard of this was John Walker appearing on a late night MSN chat this informing me, in a clear panic, that there was apparently to be no dancing in the forthcoming Warhammer: Age of Reckoning and we should campaign against it. He was gone before I could type “Huh”. However, PCG’s jovial Dep-Ed Tim Edwards has reported further…

“Having just played the game, and tried, as usual, to pass the time between skirmishes by /dancing with my friends, my avatar refused. ‘Hank refuses to dance’, said my Elven Warrior, shrugging his shoulders. I’m absolutely gobsmacked. But the controversy doesn’t end there. I asked around. Who made the decision not to include dancing? According to Erik Morgensen, who looks after the Warhammer Online project for Games Workshop, whether the Warhammer lore supported dancing. “Yes,” he said. “It was Mythic’s call.”

What to make of such things? My personal take is that a lack of dancing is entirely fine. THERE IS ONLY WAR.

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