Rock, Paper, Shotgun

The Lost Planet games seem to divide people. They have their problems, it’s true, but there’s something in their native silliness and overwrought spectacle that I can’t help loving. Perhaps I am just a sucker for sci-fi catastrophe. Either way, it’s interesting to see just how Lost Planet 3 is dividing people, even fans of the original games, with the fresh cry of: “It’s all a bit frozen Dead Space.” Is that right? You can make some judgement of that for yourself, with fifteen minutes of the GamesCom demo below.
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After watching 7 minutes of Capcom’s sleek looking open-world hacking game, I’m pretty sure Ubisoft showed off something similar at E3. When I accessed my memories of that conference with my Memorinator (I keep my memories in there, so my brain has more room to think about kittens) it was all different: it wasn’t Ubisoft showing off Watch Dogs. It was an hour of the Capcom logo, with Blueboy’s ‘Remember Me‘ playing. After seeing what Remember Me’s Nilin is capable of, I think I got off lightly.
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Capcom apparently first announced Remember Me at GamesCom last year, but ironically most of the internet doesn’t remember that and has treated it like a new reveal today. Regardless, we have a trailer to watch, a confirmation that it’s on PC as well as the consoletoys, an elaboration on the Total Recall-esque story (but set in ‘Neo-Paris’ rather getting its ass to Mars), and a lead female character with kung-fu skills, mismatched gloves, brain-tapping abilities and clipped English tones shouting stuff like “WHO ERASED MY MEMORY?” and “I’M THE HUNTER! WHY AM I BEING HUNTED?’ It’s perhaps our answer to the question “what if Inception was penned by the writer of the Wicker Man remake?”

Dialogue aside, it looks pretty snazzy/frenzied.
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So Dead Space has co-op now, and reactions have been rather… mixed. But then Resident Evil 6 saunters in. “Only two playable characters?” It chuckles derisively. “My series was doing that before your main character could even talk. Now this…” it draws back a curtain everyone only just now noticed, revealing Leon Kennedy, Chris Redfield, Jake Muller, and their respective co-op partners, “this is how it’s done.” And, as it turns out, there’s more where that came from.

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Recent reels of Resident Evil 6 footage would have you forget that any entity other than the humble zombie has ever existed. And while the likes of Day Z and The Walking Dead actually put purpose back in their spring-less steps, RE seems quite content to treat them like undead bowling pins. It is, then, utterly heartbreaking to watch poor, helpless multi-story monstrosities suffer the bonds of obscurity in silence. Theirs is the greatest of all the plights. But no more. The latest RE6 trailer introduces what appears to be a fairly sizable boss creature – well, after devoting about half its runtime to more easily extinguished zombies, anyway.

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I’m beginning to wonder if Resident Evil‘s really about a zombie apocalypse at all. Instead, my leading theory – only bolstered by this new reel of freshly unearthed footage – is that Leon Kennedy was an overzealous zombie fanboy who made some kind of Midas Touch devil pact to generate unending waves of shambling undead with his mere presence. First day on the job in Raccoon City? Sorry, zombies. Pleasant chat with his Commander-and-Bro-in-Chief, the President? Nope, zombies. And today, for your viewing pleasure, he’ll be making his way through an underground train station, but with zombies erupting from railroads and lockers and innocuous potted plants. And sure, he wears that boy-band-gone-bad grimace and perfectly coifed emo ‘do like a champ, but he can’t hide the truth: he’s loving every second of this.

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When your game more or less begins with its main character shooting the President (who is, mind you, a zombie by this point), you’ve got a lot to live up to. Such is Resident Evil 6‘s plight, and I imagine Capcom’s hoping 20 solid minutes of gameplay footage might help assuage our fears. Or at least replace them with other fears – you know, the kinds that generally accompany the prospect of grotesque, entrail-devouring death lurking around every corner. But, after watching Leon Kennedy somberly subdue the President, talk for a while, shuffle down hallways of dramatic tension, talk some more, shoot zombies, and generally do whatever’s needed to avoid becoming a dead Kennedy, I’m not entirely sure what emotion I should be feeling.

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For those folks who would add themselves to a list entitled “got a kick out of the Lost Planet games”, of which I would be one, this video of the third game in the series will raise some eyebrows. Mine are raised right now. The reason for this is that while Lost Planet 1 was pretty, but a bit rubbish, it was a commendably over-the-top sci-fi action romp. Lost Planet 2 did more with co-op, and threw in some utterly absurd alien monsters and sci-fi situations for us to brawl with. Lost Planet 3 however, well, it seems to be heading away from bonkers alien-thumping action adventure, and towards survival horror and, more specifically, Dead Space. A rather cold Dead Space. Obviously the footage shown by Capcom Germany, which you can see below, is far from representative of what the full game will entail – these images certainly tell of mega-aliens – but the pace and tone here is certainly not evidence of the kind of craziness that made the first two games stand out, even if it is very pretty indeed. Go take a look. Go on!
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Yes, its full name is “DmC Devil May Cry” – so, in essence, the game’s actual name is Devil May Cry Devil May Cry. I can’t claim to navigate the labyrinthine cognitive corridors that led to this not-so-dynamic duo of a name, but oh well. I’m playing a game called The Exiled Realm of Arborea right now and am eagerly anticipating a dark, gritty noir drama unabashedly titled Max Payne 3. Names have never exactly been this industry’s strong suit. Stupid, silly amazo-action, however, is right up our alley full of conspicuously placed explosive barrels, and few deliver it better than the Devil May Cry franchise. Basically, I’m in love with Dante’s dumb demon-slayer-who’s-basically-a-Teenage-Mutant-Ninja-Turtle antics, so this has me pretty excited. That said, DmC is the first series entry that hasn’t been developed internally at Capcom, so I’m still exercising caution.

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The rictus smile of a man who has explicitly requested a transfer to a frozen and lost planet, riddled with alien bugmunchers, for the simple reason that the woman he loves no longer returns that love. Imagine his horror when she calls him via videolink to demand he returns the toaster they bought together. Force a grin, bearded warrior, force a grin. Also, is he clutching a coffee in his massive spacemitts? Here’s hoping Lost Planet 3 will have a thermos nursing minigame that emphasises the importance of hot beverages when hiking through a world of winter. A host of images lurk below.

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Now, that’s not to say it wants you to avoid playing the game – nor is it requesting that you consider exchanging some of your precious monetary currency for J. J. Abrams hit island humdinger. “You,” in this case, refers to your character, Jim. In Lost Planet 3′s first trailer, he is having the worst day, because the titular Lost Planet’s continent-sized nametag should really read “Hello, my name is Incredible Jerk Planet.” First, some sort of alien plant dog knocks him down a mountain, then his gun jams, then a giant enemy crab crashes the party instead of letting him bleed in peace, and finally – when he and his poor, frail 50-ton mech are trying to catch a breather – a snow tidal wave strikes. That’s probably not even physically possible, but that is the extent to which this planet wants Jim to go far, far away. Sounds delightful, right? Well, I have a bit of bad news for you.

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