Posts Tagged ‘cats are jerks’

Jerkwad Cat Simulator: Catlateral Damage

By Nathan Grayson on August 26th, 2013.

Yes, I knocked down that television. Do not question it, or I will knock down your entire home.

True fact: I was raised by cats. True fact the second: my first word was “meow.” I’m not joking about that, either. Point is, I very much get the cat mentality. I grew up around them, and I understand the tiny acts of terrorism they are capable of unleashing upon their small domestic worlds. And let’s face it: we, as humans, probably have it coming. I mean, how dare we ever leave the house or not be in a specific spot at an arbitrary time or not clean the litter box every 15 minutes or let the sun go down and ruin their sunbeam or pet them the wrong way or pet them the right way for too long? In these cases, the only answer is swift and frighteningly calculated retribution. Time for Catalateral Damage. Time to break some shit. Poor, oblivious humans. How else will they learn?

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