Rock, Paper, Shotgun

Do you see what I did there? Because ‘free’ rhymes with ‘three’ and… I’m so sorry. It was either that or an ‘In Soviet Russia, retro RTS downloads you’ gag.

Yes, the original Command & Conquer: Red Alert is now available for no-pennies, to promote the upcoming RA3 and to celebrate today marking 13 years of C&C all-told. Which seems an odd birthday to make a fuss over, but hey, keep it up. Let’s have C&C3 for free next year, eh?
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I hesitate slightly to post about this, as the last time I talked about C&C: Red Alert’s music and offhandedly mentioned that it had never especially moved me personally, I received a furious email from an Angry Internet Man about how I had zero music taste and should show some respect for what its composer Frank Klepacki had done for gaming.

Going on the below video, I suspect street-talkin’ Klepacki himself would refer to it as respec’, however. Here he is, “throwing a shout out” to his fans, who will be very happy to hear that he’s officially on Red Alert 3 soundtrack duties. Me? Well… oh, look over there – that dog has a puffy tail!
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Your attention, Comrades. Beneath the cut is the first trailer for Command & Conquer: Red Alert 3, which has popped up on the face of the internet like some sort of damned-pinko-commie-scum pimple outbreak just this afternoon (in Her Majesty’s Royal Imperial Commonwealth All That Is Right Time anyway – presumably it’s some godforsaken hour in the morning for ye Yanquis). It brings with it a release date of sorts – October, apparently.

What will immediately have fans squealing is the return of the original RA’s Hell March RA2’s Hell March theme, as composed by Frank Klepacki – who I believe now hangs his hat on Petroglyph’s, er, hatstand rather than EA’s, so presumably this is just a straight re-using. Never quite understood the fuss about RA’s music myself, but it’s perhaps reassuring that the game’s looking to its heritage so.
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Which is my way of distracting you from the fact we’re linking to a lot of stuff we’ve written elsewhere today. This time it’s Alec’s review of Kane’s Wrath which PC Gamer have put on their electro-net-commuicato-think masters C&VG. In it he says things like… oh, go and read it. Now… I’ve reviewed it. Jim’s done it for someone else. Walker is clearly never going to play it. Sounds like time for an RPS Verdict.

In just 11 days we all get to find out the secrets of Kane’s brain-hat, in the very goofy-lookin’ but presumably super-fun C&C3: Kane’s Wrath. Do we care? Well, we’d care a lot more if we weren’t thinking about C&C: Red Alert 3 instead. Armoured bears! New screenshots beneath the cut – sadly bearless, however.
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Following yesterday’s shock-ish reveal, EA have let slip the dogs of press release, containing the first actual goss on Command & Conquer: Red Alert 3. Read on for alls we’ves gots so fars. Including pictures. Pretty, pretty pictures.
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Take a look at this bonkers unit trailer for the forthcoming C&C expansion, Kane’s Wrath. And RTS developers, if you’re reading, more insane units like this, please:

You never bug us, Gamertrailers.

It’s not “Command & Conquer: Tiberium”. It’s just “Tiberium.” At least Dwayne ‘ The Rock’ Johnson has the good grace to acknowledge his true heritage in his name. But what’s going on here? Are EA embarrassed by Command & Conquer now? “Don’t mention the Tiberium war…”
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EA have released some more details, and the above screenshot of an ED-209*, to announce Tiberium, their squad-based FPS set in the C&C universe.

Chris Plummer, executive producer at EA Los Angeles, said: “After two years of pre-production, it is exciting to finally reveal this game and its rich fiction to the world. We’ve put a lot of effort into evolving the tactical shooter experience by taking core gameplay compulsions like commanding, choice and dominating your enemies and delivering them in first-person. Some of the weapons and mechanics are truly innovative for a first-person game. We’re very proud to be part of a project that has the potential to really make a mark on the canon of sci-fi fantasy fiction.”

A bunch of stuff like orbital ion cannon strikes and capital ship bombardments will apparently be included in the game to give it the sense that you’re on that C&C futuristic battlefield.

And I can’t help but feel dreadfully apathetic towards this one, sorry guys.

* “Can’t think of a robot design? Then why not try new ED-209! It’s like you don’t even have to try!”