Posts Tagged ‘Coffee Stain Studios’

Got Your: GoatZ Adds Survival Tropes To Goat Simulator

You need to get into the spirit of Goat Simulator [official site], I suspect. There’s a part of my brain that’s eager to dismiss it as “lol so random” YouTube fodder, and a part of my brain that’s like, no, I enjoy physics sandboxes just fine too, thanks. The next bit of DLC is making these internal warring factions go thermonuclear: GoatZ adds survival mechanics to the deliberately-broken goat-based mess-around toybox. It’s out today and there’s a trailer below to help you get into the correct frame of mind.

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Fetch Quests And Physics: Goat MMO Simulator Expansion

Wizard.

You know, I think I’ve seen a serious drop-off in zany physics simulators since the release of Goat Simulator. I roam far and wide across the Internet, looking for odd and wonderful new things every day, and say with confidence/wild speculation that Coffee Stain’s physics sandbox was a turning point for the genre. After something so brazenly broken, so unashamedly kooky, perhaps doing anything less seems redundant. Now the wonky platformer is becoming a wonky RPG too, or at least wrapping itself in the skin of one. Its next free expansion, see, is Goat MMO Simulator.

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Another Goat Simulator Update, Another Incredible Trailer

Goats on a bike! GOATS ON A BIKE

Goat Simulator really is just the dumbest thing, isn’t it? Naturally, that’s why everyone in the whole world loves it and I have a pet goat now. I was surprised (and let’s face it: a bit saddened) to find that real goats have functional neck bones and lack tongues that stretch like elastic and stick like gorilla glue, but them’s the breaks. Related: do not hurl real goats into traffic. They will break. That got a bit dark there, didn’t it? But you know what’s not dark? Goat Simulator’s new patch, which includes multiplayer, a new map, and a billion other bits and bobs. The patch notes are incredible, as is a new sunny-as-a-million-dandelion-fields trailer. See both below.

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A Story About My Uncle I Guess But Mostly Grappling Hooks

ZAP!

Hey gang, and welcome back to another exciting round of Judge A Game By Its Name! Today we’re looking at A Story About My Uncle. You’re thinking 2D puzzle-platformer, right? Monochromatic palette, perhaps accented with red. Lots of slow walking sections with quiet introspective narration, surely? If that’s your final answer, then I’m sorry to say you haven’t won today, as it’s actually a first-person puzzle platformer based around a zappy grappling hook glove. You won’t take home the Jet Ski and Royal Doulton plates but on the bright side, we’re all getting a new grappling hook game.

It’ll arrive in a few weeks, on May 28, publisher Coffee Stain Studios has announced with a new trailer. (Yes, it now publishes as well as making games like Sanctum and Goat Simulator.)

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Go(at) Figure: Goat Simulator Update To Add Parkour

Videogames

FINALLY. As I discovered while horsing goating around for all the world to see, Goat Simulator has literally everything one could possibly conceive of throwing into a videogame. Between its quiet, moving narrative, masterfully measured pacing, tasteful use of whaling sections, allegorical nods to both Shakespeare’s entire career and his greatest lost work, The Fifth Element, and 42 hour roadtripping-through-middle-America-with-Oscar-Wilde sequence, it more or less covered every possible base. Except, well… parkour. It didn’t have any. Thus, I was forced to downgrade it from “videogame” to “Citizen Kane.” Soon, however, that’s going to change in a big way.

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Cloven-screen: Goat Simulator Adding Multiplayer

Meeehhhhhhhhhhhh!

Goat Simulator is pretty much a dicking about simulator but oh, how lonely and pointless it is to dick about by yourself! Perhaps that’s the entire reason the goat is acting up. Why, put it in a pen with another real goat and perhaps they’d happily amble about and chew the cud all day long. I suppose we’ll find out in May, as developers Coffee Stain Studios are planning to add split-screen co-op with the first big patch and a new map t’boot.

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Rise & Stream: Watch Us Chatter Over Goat Simulator

MOM COME ON LOOK YOU'RE MISSING IT MOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

Goats! Who doesn’t love goats? Bad people, I’d be willing to bet. Or should I say “baaaaaaaaaad people”? No, no, I really shouldn’t. What a regrettable choice on my part. I do not, however, regret picking Goat Simulator from the writhing, moaning RPS Pile O’ Games this week, as it a) has goats and b) is a boiling crackpot crockpot of perfect insanity. Sir Hayden of Dingman (and also Colorado right now) and I are going to play it until we laugh our ribs to pieces or get bored and do something else. We’re kicking off at 10 PM PT/5 AM GMT. Tune in below.

Update: We’re done! It was completely, magnificently absurd. Relive the magic (and goats) below.

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No Turning Back: Goat Simulator’s Amazing Launch Trailer

Yeah, you know where this is going.

If you’re still somewhat incredulous at the fact that Goat Simulator is actually a thing, don’t worry: you’re not alone. But as a connoisseur of dumb jokes taken too far and also RPS’ official Goatitor-In-Chief, I must say that I’m impressed with this one’s dedication to cloven-footed shenanigans. For one, it’s basically Just Cause with a goat, which is literally all I’ve ever wanted from games, and for two oh goodness just watch this exceedingly silly launch trailer. It riffs on one of the most renowned/infamous game trailers of all time, and it is just fantastic.

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Avuncular Return: A Story About My Uncle, Soon For A Buck

It's a bit prettier now.

I’ve a few uncles, but if I was to tell a story about one of them, I’d probably pick the one who worked with Patrick Stewart and Sean Bean. Though I can understand why, if given the choice, you might go for the one capable of inter-dimensional travel and grappling hook tomfoolery.

A Story About My Uncle was a fun, free, first-person platformer released in 2012. Now it’s getting a full release due out this summer, and the first trailer is below.
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Gruff Trade: Goat Simulator Becomes A Reality This Spring


Hmm, I worry that it’s ever so slightly less entertaining now it’s a real thing with a pricetag, as opposed to an out-of-nowhere joke. Now it’s got the Snakes On A Plane problem – it has to live up to its concept. Still, we (including I) asked for it, so down Goat Simulator’s rabbit hole we must go.
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In A Nanny State: Goat Simulator Alpha

Firstly: this a tech demo that’s right now is basically just for fun, rather than marking an abrupt change of direction for Sanctum devs Coffee Stain Studios.

Secondly: awwwwww. Hope they wind up doing something with it anyway.

Thirdly: GOAT SIMULATOR.
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Sanctum 2’s “Ruins Of Brightholme” Incoming


The first DLC for Coffee Stain’s first-person tower defense sequel, Sanctum 2, is materialising in the shadows of a grimmer version of the game world. According to the devs, Ruins Of Brightholme “takes you to a darker side of the Sanctum universe”, and the images they’ve sent over (more below) seem to confirm that. New towers are “Makeshift Cannon” and “Rupture Mine Tower”, and new weapons include “Circle Saw” and “Nailgun”.

Certainly sounds a bit darker. It lands on Friday.

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Buckets And Spades: Sanctum 2 Adds Sandbox Mode

The lovely people at Coffee Stain Studios have given their first person tower defence game Sanctum 2 a big giant patch with lots of lovely new updates in it, like pausing (I love a good pause) (………) and a sandbox, so get out your bucket and spade!

What is a sanctum really, you might ask, besides a word that sci fi and fantasy games love leaving pretty much everywhere like a rabbit might leave droppings. Well, I might say to you, it is usually used for sacred places like shrines and churches, or is simply a “private place from which most people are excluded”. I have been calling our fridge that for a whole day now, guarding it very carefully with a prongs-out fork, and my housemate Alice is getting very cross. Read the rest of this entry »

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