Rock, Paper, Shotgun

“The game’s done, just release it already! Gentlemen: prepare the Onager!” That’s my impression of the angry mob outside Blizzard’s studios, waiting for news of a Diablo 3 release. They want it, but like a monkey gripping a tree in a hurricane, Blizzard are holding tightly onto the beta. They still have a lot to change. A lot. According to game director Jay Wilson’s ‘System Changes’ post on the Diablo 3 site: “We trust in our ability to put out a great game, but we’re not quite there yet.”
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A thought-provoking little story, I think. Diablo III’s auction house will allow real-money trading (RMT) for items found in the game world. The fact that you can trade in items and then “cash out” and make money (minus Blizzard’s cut, of course) caused the game to clash with South Korea’s anti-gambling laws. Blizzard have resubmitted the game for approval with this feature removed and it has been accepted. (This page proves it, apparently.) The thought this issue raises, however, is how much this will change the psychological experience for Korean players. If they can’t get $$$ for epic loot, what does that mean for their response to acquiring it? Will the game be less exciting for them? Or do they get a “cleaner” experience, because it doesn’t have that connotation of cash, and of the world outside the game?

If you’re a registered World of Warcraft player, and are willing to commit to a 12 month contract to the game, you can get Diablo III for free. In one of the more confusing offers I’ve seen, Blizzard seem to be rewarding ongoing loyalty to WoW players, rather than actually trying to get new customers, as this is an offer open only to those who have a registered WoW account on or before the 18th October 2011. If that’s you, and you’re willing to add twelve months to your sub, then not only do you get Diablo III whenever it happens to release, but access to the beta for Mists Of Pandaria (still can’t believe that’s really a thing) and a new walkie/flying mount, Tyrael’s Charger.

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Today is not Thursday, April 26th and this is the not-news.

Diablo III will not be released in February this year, despite assorted internet-wide reports to the contrary. Retailers do not know a date for the hacky-slashy game’s release, according to Blizzard’s community manager, and will not know one until the entire world knows one, via press release. So any news you might read claiming the game will be released on Feb 1 or February 3 is not news. That’s not the same as not-news, of course.

Today’s not-headlines in summary, then: we still do not know the release date for Diablo III.

In other not news today, I have not yet drunk a cup of tea or eaten any breakfast, Skyrim 2 has not been announced and the British economy is not showing any signs of meaningful recovery.

And still no Diablo III on my hard-drive! It’s close though, so close we can smell it. It smells of 200 developers having sat in the same office for five years. Mmm, unmistakable. Anyway, there are interviews with Jay Wilson and Chris Metzen (as well as an “extended retrospective”) on Blizzard’s 15th anniversary site, and Wilson says that Blizzard are “almost done” with the third game. So that’s exciting. I would like to be “almost starting” to play it, now please.

More importantly, why was the first Diablo released on December 31st 1996? That seems like an odd release date. Whatever, it was still fifteen years ago, and whether or not you appreciate Diablo’s dungeon-crawler mechanics, it’s hard to deny the influence it has had on the past decade-point-five years of PC games. Also, if you are me, it makes you feel old. Formidably old, like a crotchety old wizard, or something. Ok.

Yes, there’s also a Diablo III cinematic from Blizzard. Not all that interesting, I suppose, but it’s super stylish, so you’ll probably want to take a look, below.
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“WooooOOOoooo! Mystery… strange tomes, funny hand-writing… AND! CUE! FANTASY WORLD!”

An except from the script, there.
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The big news from Blizzcon is starting to pour out of the holes in the internet, and the biggest news is that Diablo III is going to be free to annual World Of Warcraft subscribers. Signing up for the annual pass gets you Diablo III for nowt and new in-game mount for WoW, Tyrael’s Charger. And there we were thinking WoW subs were going to decline. Clever boys.

Check out VG247′s liveblog for loads more.

I am sorry, I’m feeling especially belligerent today. I’m just so cross that I’ve spent all morning waiting for Rage to download, because apparently it was impossible for online-only publications to have PC code ahead of release. THIS IS 2011 WHAT’S THE PROBLEM. Anyway! Half an hour to go, and in the meantime I’ve been drooling over the various loot I could potentially find in Diablo III when, if ever, it finally launches. Following on from their character build generator, Blizzard have released a visual database of most of the game’s weapons, armour and assorted toys. Or, at least, the base versions of said equipment – you’ll be upgrading them in all sorts of exciting ways via the in-game crafting system. Interesting stuff, as numbers and pictures of weapons go. Like all things Diablo III, you’ll need to be online to look at the database, of course.

My first port of call in the database was, of course, hats. I’ll be aiming for the Resplendent Stechhelm, I think.

Bad news, everyone: Diablo III won’t be gracing your hard drives this year, I’m afraid. Blizzard have announced their joyous but cruel hacker-slasher has slipped to early 2012. No real reason given, but Blizzbozz Mike Morhaime suggests it’s just a matter of wanting to put more dev time into D3. Could it be that the beta has turned up unexpected problems? Or that they’re using the extra time to include an offline mode? No, that’s just my wishful thinking speaking.

Morhaime quote below, anyway.
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