Posts Tagged ‘Diary’

Diary: Never Been Half-Lifed, Part Two

By Cara Ellison on December 12th, 2013.

Xen is totally rubbish you were all right YOU WERE ALL RIGHT
Readers. I crawled to the end. You warned me. After part one of the diary, you really did warn me.

At the beginning, I thought Half-Life was the best game I’d ever played. There were so many finely crafted moments; so many things I learned. I avoided reading the slightest thing on it. I wanted it unsullied. As time went on in Half-Life, I gradually realised that each level is a discrete little chocolate box of incidents, scripted events, little puzzles and touches. There is so much attention to detail in the way that everything is centred on the player’s experience, how to psyche you out, how to spook you, how to mess with you. And then, as each new level drags on, you begin to wonder what it is you’re aiming for. By the time you reach Xen, you’re done. By the time you get to gonad beast, you’re completely, oh so really, done. But wasn’t it something? But wasn’t it really something? Read the rest of this entry »

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Diary: A Nice Prison In Prison Architect Will Always Go Wrong

By Brendan Caldwell on November 12th, 2013.

Introversion’s deservedly popular Shawshank simulator is a lot of fun. It’s also incredibly difficult to manage. If a full-scale riot isn’t the problem (rarely), then a lack of funds is. And I don’t think building Cell Block B without any plumbing helps. I’ve run my fair share of ruinous hellholes but now that several updates have been added to give the player some more control over the disorder. In lieu of this, I wanted to see if it was possible to create a lovely, warm, sweet-smelling prison, just like ma used to make. CCTV, perimeter walls, sniffer dogs and guard patrols are sure to help make this a reality.

Welcome to Brendan’s Nice Prison For Agreeable People.
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Diary: Never Been Half-Lifed, Part One

By Cara Ellison on November 7th, 2013.

what a terrible person

In the depths of late night despair you might sometimes lie awake thinking about how you are a life-long PC gamer and have never played through the original 1998 PC darling Half-Life. The thought lingers on you like some grotesque bug with the ability to whisper: ‘You are an impostor. You are fake. You are phoney.’ Well even if you don’t have terrible self-esteem, I do. I’m like Drew Barrymore in Never Been Kissed. Except the kiss is Half-Life. And Gordon Freeman is that guy from Alias that ends up kissing Drew Barrymore awkwardly on a baseball pitch.

Or whatever.

Here’s my first time with Half-Life, documented in badly made videos recorded whilst I was travelling Europe.

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The End Of Days: Europa Universalis IV Diary Part Two

By Adam Smith on June 6th, 2013.

The story so far. Twenty people gathered in Stockholm to engage in a multiplayer Europa Universalis IV session. On the first day, I made France powerful and formed an unnatural alliance with the English. And then I blew it all by misinterpreting an aspect of the game and splintering my own country. No matter. Mistakes are learning experiences and, with that in mind, I was about to make the biggest mistake of my life. By the end of the day, I had renamed Île-de-France. It was now a stain on the map by the name of ‘Mostly Corpses’.

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The End Of Days: Europa Universalis IV Diary Part One

By Adam Smith on May 31st, 2013.

A few weeks ago, Paradox invited a group of journalists to Stockholm in order to see how much violence we could do to one another in a massive two-day multiplayer session of Europa Universalis IV. I packed my bags, steeled my nerves and prepared to present Rock, Paper, Shotgun the only way I know how – with fruitless acts of violence and a burning desire to reduce France to ashes. Inevitably, it transpired that I would be playing as France but I wasn’t going to let that petty detail shake my resolve. Europe was about to meet its maker.

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Neverwinter Diary: Tales From The Sword Coast Part 3

By John Walker on May 16th, 2013.

The ongoing adventures of a man finding he’s been sucked into an MMO for the first time in years. Parts one and two are there.

So I guess I’ve finished Neverwinter. I’ve not reached the end of its content, but I’ve hit the limit of what it seems I’m going to be able to play.

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The Long And Brainy Road: An Organ Trail Diary Part 4

By Dan Grill on April 23rd, 2013.

The Organ Trail: Director’s Cut is a zombie pastiche of the old favourite edugame, The Oregan Trail, where you had to get a family of settlers to Portland, Oregon, past the perils of the unconquered western USA. In the Organ Trail, players must get themselves and up to four friends all the way to Portland Oregon without losing any of their innards to rampaging zombie hordes. They’re both mainly asset management games, with bastard-hard minigames included. The previous chapters are here.

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The Long And Brainy Road: An Organ Trail Diary Part 3

By Dan Grill on April 20th, 2013.

The Organ Trail: Director’s Cut is a zombie pastiche of the old favourite edugame, The Oregan Trail, where you had to get a family of settlers to Portland, Oregon, past the perils of the unconquered western USA. In the Organ Trail, players must get themselves and up to four friends all the way to Portland Oregon without losing any of their innards to rampaging zombie hordes. They’re both mainly asset management games, with bastard-hard minigames included. Read chapter one here and two here.

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The Long And Brainy Road: An Organ Trail Diary Part Two

By Dan Grill on April 18th, 2013.

The Organ Trail: Director’s Cut is a zombie pastiche of the old favourite edugame, The Oregan Trail, where you had to manage a family of settlers as they travelled to Portland, Oregon, past the perils of the unconquered western USA. In the Organ Trail, players must get themselves and up to four friends all the way to Portland Oregon without losing any of their innards to rampaging zombie hordes. Can a group of RPS writers survive the trail and how many of their innards will they leave behind?

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The Long And Brainy Road: An Organ Trail Diary

By Dan Grill on April 15th, 2013.

The Organ Trail: Director’s Cut is a zombie pastiche of the old favourite edugame, The Oregan Trail, where you had to manage a family of settlers as they travelled to Portland, Oregon, past the perils of the unconquered western USA. In the Organ Trail, players must get themselves and up to four friends all the way to Portland Oregon without losing any of their innards to rampaging zombie hordes. Can a group of RPS writers survive the trail and how many of their innards will they leave behind?

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This Mortal Toil: A Diary, Part Three

By Brendan Caldwell on March 11th, 2013.


Brendan has been playing sandbox MMORPG, Mortal Online.

So this is how it ends. Trapped between two hissing lizard men and a fatally high, geographically unremarkable, cliff edge. The lizard men take another step and poke their razor sharp tridents at the air in front of me. The prongs of the weapon are barbed, and the barbs themselves are also barbed, which I consider to be unnecessary. I step back toward the cliff, completely unable to see the bottom. So this is how it ends. Lost in a hellish Congolese nightmare world, wearing nothing but rags and facing down two of the world’s most brutally rendered reptilians. Mortal Online, it’s been good. We had some good times, made some good memories. I would recite a few of them from the records in my leather-bound book but I lost it in that ravine, remember? Oh, Mortal. I wonder if someone found that book, would they think me a great adventurer? Or would they just throw it away and plunder my rucksack for the 500 gherkins you always said were weighing me down.
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This Mortal Toil: A Diary, Part 2

By Brendan Caldwell on February 22nd, 2013.


Brendan is playing Mortal Online for some reason.

Previously on This Mortal Toil

“What do you know about work!?”

“Shhh, Rabbit. I will take care of you.”

“When you play the game of Mortal, you win… or you DIE.” – “And then you respawn.” – “Oh yes and then of course you respawn.”

Now, on This Mortal Toil…

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The Blunder Games: Don’t Starve Diary, Part Two

By Adam Smith on January 24th, 2013.

The continuing adventures of hungry gent, Jeremy J Happenstance. For part one of this Don’t Starve beta diary, point your browser in this direction.

How many days had Happenstance been trapped in this nightmare? As he picked the husks of roasted seeds from between his teeth, shivering by the dwindling fire that was greedily consuming the last of his charcoal, he pondered the bizarre, violent and grotesque events that had led him to this terrible ending. It started, as so many unfortunate events do, with a distinctly un-neighbourly dispute with a distinctly noisome neighbour.

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