Rock, Paper, Shotgun

Speaking of that DLC stuff, Duke Nukem is destined to expand for the price of $10, next Tuesday. The DLC, which is called The Doctor Who Cloned me, features a new single player campaign (although presumably it’s only short compared to the main campaign) as well as a bunch of multiplayer maps. Gearbox explain the setting thusly: “Deep in the heart of Area 51, Dr Proton has been hatching his evil plan. Fueled by new ego boosts, Duke is ready to take on evil clones, aliens queens and anything else that comes his way in order to save the world and his babes!”

Mmm!

There are many reasons to criticise Duke Nukem Forever. The incoherence, the leaden dialogue, the back-tracking, the unconvincing claimed satire of its attitude towards women, the half-baked mini-games, the oppressive linearity… and, perhaps most acutely for those who were more prepared to forgive such follies due to their fondness for the character and his earlier games, the strict two-weapon carry limit. I can’t imagine there’s much hope of DNF’s recharging health being thrown out, but Duke’s arsenal is about to be made a little less puny…
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The Gearbox forums have announced the inevitability of the Icons Parody Pack, a multiplayer add-on for Duke Nukem Forever. It’ll contain new maps and game modes, and be available in the autumn at some point. The post explains that the DLC will be free “to all First Access Club members who registered their FAC membership before Duke Nukem Forever launched in their country (subject to availability).” Presumably everyone else will have an option to buy it. More details below.
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Well, the demo at least, which is now on Steam. Duke Nukem Forever, in case you’ve not heard of it, is the sequel to popular 1996-shooter, Duke Nukem 3D. The sequel was originally developed by 3D Realms, and then, later by another like-minded Dallas-based studio, Gearbox Software. The game charts the adventures of Duke Nukem (who is not actually a duke, as far as my research is able to determine) as he attempts to fight space-aliens, pig-men, and to rescue sexy ladies from certain unpleasantness. The demo is a sampler of Duke’s comedy-action delights, previously only available to people who previously pre-ordered the game, maybe, or bought Borderlands or something. I dunno. Whatever.

Good morning, by the way, Internet.

Update: that’s it for now, folks. I’ll try to do some more over the weekend. I must be honest and admit I don’t want to though. So far it’s a bizarre, often witless mess of scatty, wasted ideas, clunky writing and surprisingly little action. Here’s hoping it improves now I’m out of the backtrack-heavy casino bit, though.

Eventually, via dark magicks, I have made Duke Nuke Forever on Steam work. I’ll be playing it on and off during the day, and sharing my thoughts in the below liveblog. No need to refresh the page – just watch and let it happen. And, hopefully, laugh and think about how clever I am. Or how witless and inaccurate I am. That can happen too.
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Today’s the day. Today is the day. The day that over a decade of abject silliness is finally resolved: Duke Nukem Forever has been released. Good grief! It’s actually happened. It’s available in shops, whatever they are, right now, and also on Steam. Unfortunately, a number of players, myself included, are experiencing a problem wherein over 100 game files – including the main .exe – are not downloaded, thus preventing access to the game. (Yes, I’ve tried validating and redownloading; no, it didn’t work). Graaaaaaaah! A final, cosmic joke perhaps? I hope you’re not prey to it, but it does mean my plans to run an as-I-play liveblog have been denied for the time being.

So, anyone fired it up yet? How’s it seem? And how does it feel, to be playing this game of such infamy?

This doesn’t get any less surreal, does it?
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