Rock, Paper, Shotgun

You may have noticed that with Red Alert 3 EA are pressing the button marked “Sex” as if it were a magical device which ejaculated streams of money. Which it may well be. Now that they’ve actually released details of the full cast, being a serious games site, I thought it of critical importance we analysed whether by spending such tall-dollars they’ve managed to succeed in titilating us. I called the undisputed Miss Sex of videogame journalism, Gamasutra and Sexyvideogameland’s Leigh Alexander, and we went through the trailer together, deciding who was hot and who was not. You might be surprised by the results. You may not be surprised to discover I was drinking.
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And I don’t mean that in a bad way.

There’s a traditional idea that the critics – that’s us guys who write stuff about games and lob a number between 6 and 10 at the end to drum up a comments thread and/or death-threats – have rarefied and/or completely counter-populist tastes. We’d more happily hail a game made entirely of the string and weeds that’s emerged blinking into the sunlight from the anus of a man quoting Proust than a good four-square solid meat-and-potato game like our mum used to make. And, to a degree, it’s true. Problem is, it’s just not true enough.

But I think it’s growing more so, and there’s a chance this year could be the turning point.
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