Rock, Paper, Shotgun

God, I love disguises. I can’t go the shop without putting on a beard and some elf ears. It looks like Agent 47 shares the same enthusiasms, too, because in the latest Hitman: Absolution trailer (it’s around here somewhere, I know it) we get to see him dressed as a policeman, a worrying janitor, a hotel porter you would not trust with your luggage, a hired killer (not sure if that’s really a disguise), a lab technician, a samurai, a chef, a… scarecrow? A judge, a cowboy, I don’t know what that is, Robocop, that guy who works at the pub, a hazmat person, a builder, a murderer, a tinfoil hat man, a wrestler/gimp, a chicken…

And so on.
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Videogame movies! No one really asked for them, but we’re getting them anyway. I now imagine Ezio and Adam Jensen leaping hand-in-hand off the rooftop that is their medium of choice, but with Jensen engaging the Icarus Landing System while Ezio dies horribly because hay doesn’t work that way. At any rate, Deus Ex‘s film rights have officially fallen into the hands of CBS Films, and Human Revolution – not the original or Invisible War – will be its foundation.

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If you starve a man he will gladly chew a button in order to create saliva, which he will then swallow in an attempt to fool his body into thinking it is being fed. This brief cry in the dark is my attempt to nourish myself with a lump of plastic or wood, it is the splinter in my tongue and the grumbling in my belly. This is what happens when they don’t tell me anything about Thief 4. I feast hungrily on scraps.

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My wait, actually. The best bit of the PC Gamer Top 100 meetings was listening to Gamer’s secret weapon Tony Ellis (if you’ve ever laughed at a caption or dark dark bit of humour, it was probably from Tony’s sick mind), talking about Anachronox: we’d all stop flushing heads down the toilet and pause mid-Chinese burn as he told us about the insanity of Ion Storm’s other game: all I remember now is that you could have a planet as a companion. A planet! I’ve been waiting for it to appear on GoG, and this morning it did. In addition to the planetary buddy, it’s a combination of Japanese style RPG and western sensibilities, but thanks to a rushed production (lots of content was removed then Ion Storm closed a month after release), it’s also rather buggy.
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Deus Ex: HR came saddled with a selection of preorder incentives, a phrase that tastes like a little bit of sick in my mouth. The upshot is that if you didn’t buy the game from a grid coordinate during the correct lunar sequence, you may be missing little bits of content. No longer. Now, everything can be yours, provided you’re willing to reach into your digital wallet once more. There are two packs available, neither of which I have any experience with so don’t expect an informed opinion. Personally, I haven’t found the game to be lacking any of the things that are listed below. Have you?
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Square Enix appear to have reversed their decision on region-locking the retail copies of Deus Ex: Human Revolution in Europe and the UK, which we’d noted yesterday. An Eidos forum post by Square Enix “mastering manager” Jason Walker says: “We’re aware of some discussion regarding the planned region-locking of boxed PC versions of Deus Ex: Human Revolution, and after careful review we have decided not to implement this in the UK/Europe. Please note, this plan only related to PC boxed games, and not digital or console editions.”

For a trailer claiming to be about conspiracy, there’s an awful lot of punching in the latest of over seven hundred million trailers for Deus Ex: Human Revolution. I think if you strung all the trailers together it would last longer than playing the game. But it matters none, as this is once again very intriguing. Oh, if this game isn’t good I’m going to Montreal and I’m going to pinch the arms of every single person at Eidos. EVERY SINGLE ONE. You’ve been warned, Eidos Montreal.

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Yesterday I got jolly (justifiably) cross about some Facebook-based nonsense “advertising” Deus Ex: Human Revolution. Today I would like to celebrate some really rather excellent nonsense advertising Deus Ex: Human Revolution. The very splendid fake ad below is a gag-free, wonderfully made commercial for Sarif Industries – they behind the beginnings of human augmentation.

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Well here’s a thing – a lump of in-game footage of Deus Ex: Human Revolution on Gamespot, narrated by the game’s story director, Mary DeMarle. You can see it below. It demonstrates their “multi-path, multi-solution gameplay” (which was a phrase I don’t think Ion Storm ever needed to use), in the game’s first level. The four “pillars” are combat, stealth, social and hacking, as well they should be. Except of course “combat and stealth are the main pillars”, so that’s what they’re showing now. So what you’ve got is the same level played through three times, perhaps inspired by Kieron’s famous review. (And for those worried about spoilers, it’s a man running from one building to another.)

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Strategy Informer sends word of this, a photo posted by Eidos Montreal and subsequently picked up by French site JeuxVideo. You can find the original photo here. My feverish analysis follows.
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