Hand-me-downs are for the weak. Real fictional computerized barbarians use hand-me-ups, because they don’t abide by tradition. They destroy it. Actually, no, they don’t do that at all. Instead, if Age of Conan‘s any indication, they observe it closely and make a series of measured decisions based on heaps of empirical data – in this case, data collected by The Secret World and its recent successes. And then I guess that somehow leads to enemies being driven somewhere – in some variety of environmentally friendly automobile, presumably – to provide community service for lamenting women? Sounds about right anyway, but I should probably brush up on my barbarism.