Posts Tagged ‘Goat Simulator’

Another Goat Simulator Update, Another Incredible Trailer

By Nathan Grayson on June 4th, 2014.

Goats on a bike! GOATS ON A BIKE

Goat Simulator really is just the dumbest thing, isn’t it? Naturally, that’s why everyone in the whole world loves it and I have a pet goat now. I was surprised (and let’s face it: a bit saddened) to find that real goats have functional neck bones and lack tongues that stretch like elastic and stick like gorilla glue, but them’s the breaks. Related: do not hurl real goats into traffic. They will break. That got a bit dark there, didn’t it? But you know what’s not dark? Goat Simulator’s new patch, which includes multiplayer, a new map, and a billion other bits and bobs. The patch notes are incredible, as is a new sunny-as-a-million-dandelion-fields trailer. See both below.

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Go(at) Figure: Goat Simulator Update To Add Parkour

By Nathan Grayson on April 24th, 2014.

Videogames

FINALLY. As I discovered while horsing goating around for all the world to see, Goat Simulator has literally everything one could possibly conceive of throwing into a videogame. Between its quiet, moving narrative, masterfully measured pacing, tasteful use of whaling sections, allegorical nods to both Shakespeare’s entire career and his greatest lost work, The Fifth Element, and 42 hour roadtripping-through-middle-America-with-Oscar-Wilde sequence, it more or less coveredĀ every possible base. Except, well… parkour. It didn’t have any. Thus, I was forced to downgrade it from “videogame” to “Citizen Kane.” Soon, however, that’s going to change in a big way.

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Cloven-screen: Goat Simulator Adding Multiplayer

By Alice O'Connor on April 7th, 2014.

Meeehhhhhhhhhhhh!

Goat Simulator is pretty much a dicking about simulator but oh, how lonely and pointless it is to dick about by yourself! Perhaps that’s the entire reason the goat is acting up. Why, put it in a pen with another real goat and perhaps they’d happily amble about and chew the cud all day long. I suppose we’ll find out in May, as developers Coffee Stain Studios are planning to add split-screen co-op with the first big patch and a new map t’boot.

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Rise & Stream: Watch Us Chatter Over Goat Simulator

By Nathan Grayson on March 29th, 2014.

MOM COME ON LOOK YOU'RE MISSING IT MOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

Goats! Who doesn’t love goats? Bad people, I’d be willing to bet. Or should I say “baaaaaaaaaad people”? No, no, I really shouldn’t. What a regrettable choice on my part. I do not, however, regret picking Goat Simulator from the writhing, moaning RPS Pile O’ Games this week, as it a) has goats and b) is a boiling crackpot crockpot of perfect insanity. Sir Hayden of Dingman (and also Colorado right now) and I are going to play it until we laugh our ribs to pieces or get bored and do something else. We’re kicking off at 10 PM PT/5 AM GMT. Tune in below.

Update: We’re done! It was completely, magnificently absurd. Relive the magic (and goats) below.

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No Turning Back: Goat Simulator’s Amazing Launch Trailer

By Nathan Grayson on March 27th, 2014.

Yeah, you know where this is going.

If you’re still somewhat incredulous at the fact that Goat Simulator is actually a thing, don’t worry: you’re not alone. But as a connoisseur of dumb jokes taken too far and also RPS’ official Goatitor-In-Chief, I must say that I’m impressed with this one’s dedication to cloven-footed shenanigans. For one, it’s basically Just Cause with a goat, which is literally all I’ve ever wanted from games, and for two oh goodness just watch this exceedingly silly launch trailer. It riffs on one of the most renowned/infamous game trailers of all time, and it is just fantastic.

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Gruff Trade: Goat Simulator Becomes A Reality This Spring

By Alec Meer on February 11th, 2014.


Hmm, I worry that it’s ever so slightly less entertaining now it’s a real thing with a pricetag, as opposed to an out-of-nowhere joke. Now it’s got the Snakes On A Plane problem – it has to live up to its concept. Still, we (including I) asked for it, so down Goat Simulator’s rabbit hole we must go.
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In A Nanny State: Goat Simulator Alpha

By Alec Meer on February 4th, 2014.

Firstly: this a tech demo that’s right now is basically just for fun, rather than marking an abrupt change of direction for Sanctum devs Coffee Stain Studios.

Secondly: awwwwww. Hope they wind up doing something with it anyway.

Thirdly: GOAT SIMULATOR.
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