Rock, Paper, Shotgun

Edit- The trailer is no more. For now, anyway. Sorta-explanation below.

We’re still agonisingly denied a look at Hitman 5, aka Hitman: Absolution, aka Hitman: Subtitle in as-it-plays action, but at least we’ve got some raaaawk-soundtracked, stylised pre-rendered kill sequences and scene-setting to stare at. It also features a sort-of naked lady, but you can’t really see anything, but if you’re reading this in a place where an image of a sort-of naked lady but of whom you can’t really see anything would cause you trouble, like a nunnery or on a projector in a primary school classroom, you probably shouldn’t carry on.
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Are they screens, or are they “target renders”? I’ve blatantly pinched them from Eurogamer and posted them below so that you can decide.
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And so begins the long, long road to actual information. Game marketing in the second decade of the 21st century is all about the drawn-out tease – we already knew Hitman 5 was in on the act due to news of an apparent alternate reality game associated with sharp-suited baldieman Agent 47, and now we have the results of said ARG. Screenshots! Screenshots of gloves!
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We’ve heard rumours for a while now, but it seems like the reveal must be getting close. Why? Well, the chaps over on HitmanForum have stumbled across what seems to be an ARG teasing the fifth Hitman game. Reading the thread, I’m not sure it entirely makes sense, but it’s early and I haven’t had my tea.

In other news: HITMAN 5! It’s enough to make a man want to play Blood Money again.

Following the demo earlier in the week, Io are continuing their attempts to get everyone all worked up over the return of their burly men shooter with a new trailer. They’re not doing a bad job. The trailer’s a lot of fun, especially the ENORMOUS PINK LETTERS. Early word on this is actually impressively positive, with a “Best second iteration after a disappointing first game since Assasin’s Creed” sort of vibe. You can also pre-order at the moment at Steam to get 10% off, if you’re already sold. The trailer follows…
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You can get it on Steam, because the game itself is all snazzed up with Steamworks n stuff (matchmaking, steam achievements, stats, etc). The demo features a slice of Kane & Lynch’s ultraviolent criminality for you to sample, something which Io’s Niels Jørgensen describes as “tension and excitement not found in other games”. Why not see if you agree with him? For all we know this could be exactly the tension and excitement found in Armadillo Run. But anyway, I’m hearing good stuff about the full game, especially the multiplayer, which Quintin was yammering about last night. We’ll take a proper look at it soon. In the meantime, download, judge!

Yes, you read with your eyes – those same eyes that are squeezing out a single tear for the lack of a new Hitman game – that Eidos and Io Interactive have confirmed Kane & Lynch 2 for release in 2010. The press release offers an entertaining snippet of hyperbole to go with this news: “Introducing a new visual experience, Kane & Lynch 2™: Dog Days is inspired by documentary filmmakers and the user-generated era. Every aspect of the game has been designed to deliver a fresh perspective to the words ‘intensity’ and ‘realism’ in video games.”

Wow!™ We can hardly wait.

It was something of a surprise to see Io Interactive announce that their next game wasn’t going to be another Hitman title, or any other kind of manshoot, but instead a new direction based on cute cartoon ninjas. That game, Mini Ninjas, is came out this week, to a mixed reception. Needless to say, I’m going to tell you Wot I Think…
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The Mini Ninjas demo is out, and it’s here. This is the surprise move for what the Hitman team did next and, yes, it’s showing off at least a fragment of their creativity and invention. Your download today will be 778mb. My impressions and the two (possibly one, with new player bugs) new trailers below.
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A friend of mine seemed distraught about Mini Ninjas. “Why would you be developing that, when you could be doing another Hitman game?” He’s right, of course, but this does look reasonably entertaining – and I can only assume that Io are developing another Hitman game, as yet unannounced. Anyway, your diminutive assassin in this game isn’t going to require quite so much thought in play, but he can hide inside a pig, which is something 47 hasn’t tried.
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Rather than following up on previous experiments in ultra-violence, Hitman, or Kane & Lynch, Danish devs Io Interactive have decided to head for the cell-shaded hills and create a cute action game entitled Mini Ninjas. As you might expect from the title, it’s a game that features diminutive dudes with sharp sticks, and some kind of Kung Fu cliché. A worthwhile new direction after the Kane & Lynch controversy? Or did Io actually take the time to watch the Hitman movie and decide that their next brush with Hollywood had better be via Pixar? Whatever the motivation, I have to admit I like the look of the giant lumbering evil samurai, and the fact that there’s a happy panda involved. There’s far too many sad pandas around these days, and this is all very cute.

Debut teaser trailer post-click.

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