It is rare that I have as little idea what the hell is going on as I did playing Kromaia. That’s not just in games, either. I’ve been blind drunk stumbling around a hotel in Birmingham and still had a firmer grasp of the logical progression of events than I did during the last half hour. Kromaia is understandable at a basic level: a 360 degrees of movement third-person shooter, most reminiscent of space blasters. I’m reluctant to just call it a space sim, as that would paint a grossly unrepresentative picture in your head. Kromaia is far more insanely colourful, madly loud and ludicrously non-nonsensical than that.