Rock, Paper, Shotgun

VG247 have been talking to shy and reclusive game developer Peter Molyneux about Lionhead’s ambitions. They want to tell the greatest story ever. The developer said:

“The greatest story ever told? I think it’s going to be in a computer game. And I think that if I play the greatest story ever told in the same game as you play it, your greatest story is going to be different to my greatest story. And that is power.”

Blimey. I hate stories, me. Just give me a box of toys. But what about you?

Lionhead aren’t good with interfaces. Black & White’s wavy-hieroglyph spellcasting is infamous, of course, and I spent a little too much of the Christmas just gone swearing at the agony of magic selection and food-eating in Fable 2. Revisiting Fable the first though, the sequel comparative;y seems like a masterclass in elegant menu-making. This action-RPG’s wheezing, long-winded inventories, quest logs and maps are what you’d expect a taxman to come up with should he sidestep into game design. What game in its right mind would hide Quit under options? I wonder if it’s a failing that started at Bullfrog – Evil Genius and Republic, by that other ‘frog splinter cell Elixir, were similarly blighted by awkward menus. They’re like a great writer who’s never quite mastered apostrophes, and moreover doesn’t care. As long as he gets his point across, he’s happy.
Read the rest of this entry »

(I’ll stop it with the iiis now). Yes, a third Syndicate game has been raised as a possibility. Happy! Happy! Happy! That said, the raising was done by one P. Molyneux, the man whose picture appears next to The Big Book Of Hackneyed Phrases & Sayings’ entry for “pinch of salt.”

Here’s what he told Shacknews:

“I really would love to redo a version of Syndicate. Syndicate was probably one of my favourites.”

Whether he’s just thinking aloud, hinting at an actual project or none-too-subtly putting it out there in case EA offer him a vast sum of money to leave Microsoft and come make it for them, I really don’t know. Let’s be pleased that Syndicate hasn’t been forgotten, anyway. (Insane fantasy-land: given EA’s recent talk of regretting killing off Bullfrog, they quietly re-recruit all its major minds and get the band back together. /Insane fantasy-land).

And in bonus happy! happy! happy! news, he offered this in reference to Dungeon Keeper (and Magic Carpet too, but I’m a bit mono-vision when it comes to DK), “One day, I’m sure that opportunity is going to come up and I’d love to do it.”

In other news, J.D. Salinger announces a sequel to The Catcher In The Rye.

As an alternative to their usual marketing strategy of making design promises they can’t possibly keep, Lionhead have come up with a new way of exciting fans – asking them to hurl abuse. Specifically, to think up a new insult to be proferred by NPCs who’ve taken a dislike to your character in Fable 2, replacing the outgoing ‘Arseface’.

The rules? Simple:

“Puerile, but not too puerile, sound at least somewhat original, and not cross a certain line (as an example, “gobshite” has been rejected because, while it might sound funny and wacky to American ears, it’s still a bit too strong for Fable and British ears).The thing to remember is that it’s a way for Fable villagers to call the Hero an arsehole because they hate him/her and obviously needs to work for both genders.”

Of course, the real reason to read Lionhead’s post is not to submit your own hiiiiiilarious put-down, but to stare in horror at what absolute, moronic filth the wretched internet cretins who probably think such a challenge is the reason they were put on this Earth have come up with so far. Elegant examples to date include “Skankmuncher”, “Wank stain”, “Poodildo”, “Spacktard” and “King of rim”. Dear Christ. This probably wasn’t a good idea, was it? For mercy’s sake, RPS community, get over there and give poor Lionhead an invective they can actually use.

For my money, the original’s tamer insult, as seen in this post’s headline, remains The Win.