Rock, Paper, Shotgun

So, after last year’s discussions, I went for the now-out-of-production Razer Diamondback, on which the laser has just failed. In truth it was a bit of a relief, because I never fully adjusted to it, and I felt it was too low-budget for a man of my exotic stature. Time for something new, clearly, and the newness I’ve just received is the Logitech G500. An expensive move on my part, but it feels good to rest my gentle hand on such quality. The tiny weighted cartridge, which you you can add a series of 4.5g and 1.5g weights (“I say, this mouse is 27 grams too light!” etc), is clearly ludicrous, but I rather like the on-the-fly DPS control and the gears for the mouse-wheel. If I were some kind of hardware reviewing guy I would say that it was robust, with high long-term ergonomic suitableness.

The Razer faithful (RPS chum Tom Nullpointer) have already chastised me for not going for the 17-button Naga, but that was too much thumb for me. It’d be like having a mobile phone for a mouse, or something.

What are your hands fidgeting with, readers?

UPDATE: the G500 makes a barely audible high-pitched whistle. Odd.

Readers with memories will be able to recall that I was on a quest for a new mouse the other week, and that led me back to Razer, and the Diamondback. Basically, my old mouse (the Krait) but with thumb-buttons. Irritatingly, it has proven slightly too sensitive, I think the switches on the mouse buttons are a little too easily activated. But no matter, because at least I didn’t spend a huge amount on Razer’s latest monstrosity: the Naga. A seventeen button “MMO” mouse. No, really. If you need another keyboard for your thumb then this is where you need to go: that’s twelve thumb buttons. By my calculations that’s enough buttons to type out “LOL U R PWN3D N00B” with your opposable digit, which should come in handy in times of great omg.

A minor disaster has befallen me. My Razer Krait, my long-standing ultra-minimal mouse, has developed a slight left-click fault. It only works about 50% of the time which, as you all know, is no good for gaming. I need 100%. After years of service this mouse will have to be put down, buried in a shoe box in the garden, while I fire three shots into the air with a home-made water pistol. This also means that it’s time for a new mouse. But what do I get as a replacement?

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Every so often I suffer from serious mouse-hunger, and I am far too prone to indulging it. As a weedy man who sits in front of his PC all day, I fairly inevitably suffer from varying degrees of tendonitis. Rather than doing anything about it, like exercising regularly or learning to sit up straight, I manage to use this as an excuse to buy expensive mice – ergonomics, or something. I dunno. Really, I just like luxury mice, which all their flicky buttons and blinking lights and ridiculous adjustable weights. Specifically, I’ve been hooked to the Logitech gaming range, which I used to swear blind genuinely made me better at FPSes – until I got roundly thrashed at Quake III by a guy using a beige PS/2 ball-mouse.

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