Rock, Paper, Shotgun

So Microsoft suggested it in an exceedingly casual, nonspecific manner, so shall it be. Xbox One’s infinitely more sensitive (it cries during movies and everything) Kinect is headed to PC as well, and it’ll come with a new SDK in tow. One caveat, though: Microsoft really isn’t expecting you to use it for gaming. Case in point: “Just as the new Kinect sensor will bring opportunities for revolutionizing gaming and entertainment, the new Kinect for Windows sensor will revolutionize computing experiences.” This one, then, will be targeted toward businesses and touch-free apps. Honestly, though, that’s not a huge change from Kinect’s first go-’round in our icy cool land of cybertronic future monoliths. What I’m worried about is the “next-gen” edition’s ability to be keenly aware of, well, everything. If the console version’s a useless heap of Orwellian scrap when not plugged into an Xbox, what’s to stop the PC one from pitching a fit unless it’s hooked up to a Windows 8 machine?

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Hey everyone, did you hear? There’s a new Xbox! It’s a prequel set 359 years before the current one, starring hip new actors, gratuitous explosions, and a patchwork quilt of nostalgia held together by your frayed heartstrings. Also, a man with “beautiful arms”. Wait, no, that’s the new Star Trek. For some reason, though, Microsoft’s calling its new machine the Xbox One, and with shiny hardware comes fresh hope. Maybe this time, PC and console will finally bound through a field of competitors together, hand-in-hand. Mayb- nope. Sounds like Microsoft is hoping to keep the two even more separated than ever, based on some comments from Redmond Game Studios general manager Matt Booty.

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Yesterday’s Xbox One reveal may have prompted long sighs and tweets of derision from everyone not also watching ESPN and drinking beer from a hat at that very moment, but one portion of it at least sounded pretty impressive. Apparently Kinect One (which is actually Kinect Two, which I guess makes the original Kinect A, Kinect Prime, Kinect Route Zero or some other confusing designation) is quite a technological step up from its predecessor, allegedly able to track facial features, joints, fingers, and even the number of calories you’re burning while moving around. It’s also always watching as long as it’s plugged in, which – privacy promises from Microsoft or not – is basically terrifying. Intrigued? Researching the logistics of living among the animals in some far-off wilderness? Well regardless, Microsoft’s even more all-seeing eye will eventually end up on PC.

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Now that everyone who isn’t mad has roundly agreed that Windows 8 is a whole bucketful of stupid, even Microsoft are acknowledging that trying to bruteforce people into using their computers completely differently was a silly move. Yes, Windows 8 basically has cheerful old Windows 7 lurking underneath its disruptive, tablet-orientated Metro skin, but the wasted seconds spent getting it to it every time, or inefficiently trying to get to your program or option of choice, really stack up as the months wear on, and the frustration that the OS keeps insisting on doing its own thing doesn’t go away. Now multiple reports are coming in that the forthcoming 8.1 update will allow booting to the traditional desktop, and might even reinstate the Start button.
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The Age of Empires series has seen better days. Days like the year 1999, for instance. That’s when Age of Empires II: The Age of Kings charged onto the itsy-bitsy adowwwwable killing fields, and oh what a grand thing it was. It even looked quite nice for the time, eschewing 3D razzle-dazzle in favor of goode ye-olde-fashioned sprites. Times, however, have changed, and monitors have grown wide and voracious in their appetites for tender, succulent resolutions. Thus, Microsoft’s deemed it high-time for a re-release, on that newfangled, installation-frisbee-free Steam contraption that’ll probably never catch on, no less. Graphics, however, aren’t the only thing getting a modern makeover here.

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Hmm! The Klaxons of hype were blaring over the weekend, with Steam-database watchers claiming the appearance of Halo 3, Fez and Brutal Legend on the service’s list of forthcoming IDs. As far as I can see these have now been changed to “test” names, which suggests revealing their addition was a mistake, but nevertheless the information seems to point to Double Fine’s bizarre Jack Black-voiced rock RTS coming to PC, along with Master Chief’s third outing and Polytron’s dimension-rotating platformer. So that’s interesting. Oh and Quantum Conundrum 2.

Yeah. Anyway. What you been up to this weekend?

Microsoft’s Surface Pro tablet once seemed an interesting prospect. A tablet that was no weakling, a PC in a flat, touchable screen, with a keyboard in its flexible cover. It made us at RPS realise we need to reassess what counts as a PC, asked us questions about how far our remit now stretches. At this point, we’re now wondering if anyone on the planet is going to buy one. A thought underlined by today’s news from Verge that the 64GB version of the device will only have 23GB of usable storage.

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The PC version of the original Halo was actually pretty strong, all things considered. Fun fact: it was the first Halo game anywhere to have official online multiplayer. Halo 2, however, didn’t manage such a sterling performance. Mainly, it was meant to be Windows Vista’s killer app, and Vista – at least, at launch – just let people with a desire to kill. As a result of that exclusivity, Master Chief’s Covenant-bomb-giving-back-est adventure went largely ignored and was left to the ravages of time – which brings us to today. According to Microsoft, it’s now got 20 players. Yes, 20 – concurrently, at least. Unsurprisingly, they’ve declared it time to pull the plug.

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Update: Microsoft actually pulled the plug on AOEO’s updates – not Gas Powered Games.

Original: This rather unfortunate bomb dropped last week while each member of the RPS team was still out colonizing a different region of space, but I think it certainly bears mentioning. Age of Empires Online, sadly, is history. Or at least, the part where it continues to actively grow and evolve is now another footnote in the series’ lengthy legacy. The free-to-play revamp of the storied RTS series isn’t headed for the more contemplative region of Valhalla just yet, but – from now on – what you see is what you get. No more new content.

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It’s been a while since Microsoft pulled the ol’ ‘oh no, this new version of DirectX couldn’t possibly work on earlier versions of Windows’ scamgasm, but as the relatively friendly age of Windows 7 is overshadowed by the dawning of the firm’s desperate desire to make Windows 8 a cross-platform goliath/software shop, an old habit has returned. The next version of DirectX might be a purely iterative one, but if you ever look a game that requires DirectX 11.1 you’ll be looking at a game that won’t run on Windows 7 or earlier.
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You may have heard recent tell of a certain tall green man’s return to the videogame shoot-o-sphere. He’s technically called John, and – contrary to popular belief – he’s related to RPS’ resident owner of that moniker in name and combat prowess only. Unfortunately, in spite of the fact that Halo 4‘s apparently one of the best in the series’ billowing legacy, Microsoft’s not too keen on telling its Master Chief chefs to serve up a helping of the new adventure on our humble, Halo-starved biggest gaming platform on Earth. You’d think the big M would at least consider it, too, seeing as it’s trying valiantly to push Windows 8 as a gaming platform at the moment. That, however, does not appear to be the case.

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