Rock, Paper, Shotgun

Annoyingly, Mr Walker has already provided an excellent impersonation of map-loving Adam In his Crusader Kings II expansion post. I can’t compete with his skewering of him, so instead I’m going to copy him, but in Afrikaans, because it has the best translation of “mumble”. Thanks to Google Translate. “If you listen, you can hear him mumbling to himself about how much he loves Crusader Kings II March Of The Eagles. Listen now… [mompel mompel awrite ourkid ek is lief vir Maart van die Arende mal vir dit mompel mompel]“. What prompted this erudite expression of map-lust? This talking head with the excellently named Chris King talking about his Napoleonic War game.

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Last year’s most impressive fratricide simulator, Crusader Kings II, receives another expansion today in the form of The Republic DLC. If you’d like to learn more about trading, nautical dominance, economic skullduggery and political corruption, you could either read several volumes of Serious History, or jog over to the Paradox forums where the designers are responding to questions right now. People are already saying things like, “Doesn’t this cause problems with modeling the Hanseatic League?”, and regarding the upcoming patch, “Could you provide more background about the 1.09 changes to bastardy/pregnancy?” How many games patch in ‘changes to bastardy’, eh?

The expansion should be live at 3PM CET and costs $9.99.

A few years back, seeing a game was published by Paradox meant you could be sure it was going to be something like March Of The Eagles – a hardcore-looking RTS, more map than bump mapping. The Napoleonic warmongering follows a decade of the era, from 1805 to 1815 (see how I didn’t do a lame “ten minutes!” joke – that’s how you know I love you), and is shown off in a new trailer.

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When all of the expansions are in place, Crusader Kings II will be a completely inaccurate title. They’ll just have to change the name to ‘Medieval Chaps and Ladies (also infants)’ because everyone will be playable, even if they have no interested in Papal-dictated conquest or monarchical pursuits. Moving away from the previous alternate history DLC, The Republic is a meatier expansion that should alter the game significantly. Money, not blood, drives the engine of the merchant republics. Venice, Genoa, Pisa, the Hanseatic League and Gotland will all be playable, and Patrician families will have a greater emphasis on trade, cash and political corruption, the latter of which isn’t quite the same as defenestrating your first born. Probably.

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It seems like only last week that London’s motion and commotion became a DLC package for the original Cities in Motion, and that’s because it was. I’ve never played the original but I have had a sneaky peek at the follow up, for which Paradox have just begun an alpha sign up process. The actual alpha should start on December 10th and from what I’ve seen of the game, it’s a far more intriguing proposition. As in Transport Tycoon of old, cities will grow dynamically and transport links will be an important part of how and where growth occurs. As with most Paradox pre-release applications, this looks to be a proper bugs and warts test rather than simply an early chance for some jollity. Here’s the link.

Aztec invasions of late 13th century Europe have no place in otherwise believable historical strategy games, particularly not when they threaten to shatter the united realms of slothful hunchback Cormac Whittlestump, ruler of the mighty Empire of Britannia. Crusader Kings II’s Sunset Invasion DLC insists on the madness of an Aztec invasion – bringing armies, disease and human sacrifice – and it’s the first significant slab of content that I haven’t immediately installed. I’m not opposed to its existence but I doubt I’d spend much time with it. Any takers?

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Unlike intrepid magely adventurer Craig Pearson, I haven’t played Dungeonland but when Paradox publish a fantasy-themed game in which players co-operate and die pathetically and hilariously, I reserve the right to compare that game to Magicka. Of course, I also reserve the right to say it doesn’t actually sound all that similar to that particular four-player farce, with an emphasis on unique class abilities rather than confused sorcericide. Beta signups for the theme park themed ARPG are now open. A random selection of applicants will receive access and signups close on December 1st. You can also watch a video below. It’s not new or anything like that, I just thought someone might have missed it.

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Here’s the inevitable pagan DLC for Crusader Kings II then. I’ll just take a quick look at the feature list: human sacrifice…Mesoamerican Menace? That second part doesn’t with my preconceived notions as to what this next expansion includes. “Brings the savage, blood drenched Aztec civilization to European shores, determined to wreak carnage on its inhabitants”? This might not be the pagan DLC I expected after all, but rather a fantastical alternate history upheaval of the sort never before seen in a Paradox grand strategy game. Set your eyes below the break for more info on what the Aztec invasion might mean for the ever-warring folks of the Old World.

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I love maps and I love horror, but is it possible for a map to be frightening? Defcon says ‘yes, they most certainly can’, and then the next thing it says is a a sequence of numbers, a countdown, a terrible unnerving countdown. Maps communicate events and some events, nuclear war being a notable example, are certainly the stuff of horror. Today, Paradox announced a new Hearts of Iron game, East Vs West, which takes place between 1946 and 1991. All nations are playable and there are “a host of tense features, from taking issues in front of the UN Security Council to nervously watching the game’s Doomsday clock.” The horror. Large words and historical footage make up the trailer below.

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It’s not all CKII and EUIV over at Paradox’s grand strategy development studio, with another expansion for Hearts of Iron III due at the end of this month and the recent announcement of Napoleonic warmongerer March of the Eagles. It’s a smaller game, at least in terms of the time it covers, and the first part of a developer diary from studio manager Johan Andersson contains more information on what it’s all about: “It has the war focus from Hearts of Iron, the time frame and visuals from Europa Universalis, and victory conditions similar to those you’ve seen in Sengoku.” I’ll be speaking to Johan soon to find out more. In the meantime, here’s a trailer because I know that everybody likes to watch maps being maps.

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The Sword of Islam burns bright and now the embers of Rome threaten to ignite. The second major expansion for Crusader Kings II, Legacy of Rome, adds new features that at first sight (a press release) appear to concentrate on being a big player, with much talk of the Byzantine Empire. Vassals forming factions, becoming smarter and presumably more interesting, generals with further features and more influence, and the possibility of appointing Orthodox patriarchs. Self-improvement ambitions will allow regents to grow as people rather than simply collecting vices and scars, and no doubt there’ll be more to discover before the Q4 2012 release.