Rock, Paper, Shotgun

As many of you will have noticed, Crusader Kings II came out on Valentine’s Day. This, as it turns out, was a good thing. I’d already played the beta extensively and have only emerged from the full version when the fact of being a biological entity has demanded that I do so, or when the necessity to write about other things has arisen. I’m not ready to write extensively about wot I think yet – it’s a big game and I’ll be thinking lots about it – but it would be remiss not to acknowledge the release and the hours I’ve already enjoyed.

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Paradox’s CEO Fred Wester has revealed the startling growth of Paradox’s digital distribution revenue. I’ll put it in the man’s own words, because not long afterward he himself grew in relation to the number. He’s a giant now, and incapable of understanding numbers. He said.

My own experience of digital distribution is that we made 1.5 percent of our revenue from digital distribution in 2006, while the digital number in 2011 was over 95%.

Blimey! I’m having brainthinks about the numbers. They’re both surprising, and yet if you sit and stare at the desk your PC is on, I’ll bet any discs are starting to look out of place and a bit dusty.
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Perhaps you’ve already discovered the 20 years of playable history that congeal together to form the Crusader Kings II demo? It appears to have marched onto the internet during the weekend, a time when I am traditionally to be found scrutinising medieval maps of Europe. This weekend I decided to be trapped in a cabin in the middle of the woods during a night of heavy snow instead, so I hadn’t spotted the demo until now. Download it here.

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In a one-two punch of Paradox news, our man in the field, Jim Rossignol, has sent a telegram from Sweden reporting that the publishers have announced A Game Of Dwarves. STOP. It’s a strategy-cum-management game, by Zeal Game Studios, in which you must control a dwarven settlement. It has a Theme Hospital meets Dungeon Keeper vibe about it, with a sprinkling of Settlers, and of course a lot of Dwarf Fortress, as you manage your crew of dwarves to dig, build and defend themselves. It’s going to be randomly generated, meaning each time you start a new game it’ll be a completely unique dungeon, requiring new strategies. We’ll have more information just as soon as Jim can find the internet. The game is supposed to be coming out at some point during 2012. You can see a collection of screenshots below.

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Arrowhead tell us that Magicka: The Stars Are Left should be available at online stores later today and to herald the alignment of the code, here is a pleasing video. The familiar robed figures are present but the combination of Lovecraftian and noir stylings makes them all the more entertaining, even if they’re not accidentally blowing one another to wizbits. Before the release of the DLC the game engine received what is described as a “major overhaul”. I haven’t had a chance to test that out yet, though I will be trying out this blasphemous content as soon as I get my claws on it.

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A trailer for Crusader Kings II would inevitably consist of closeups of maps and loud, pompous music, so even though I’m hugely excited about the game I wouldn’t bother posting it. Or it would be the first in a series of live action comedy sketches themed around the seven deadly sins, in which case I’d be more than content to share it with the world. I’m happy that a game so head-scratchingly intense that I’ve gone through six scalps playing the beta is able to let its hair down. And, yes, I’m talking about the game as if it is a sentient being. What of it? Let’s just watch.

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I’ve probably spent more time playing Crusader Kings than any other strategy game released in the last ten years. In all those glorious hours and days, I’ve raised mighty dynasties so envied by the wider world that they have felt the need to grind the bones of my children to dust and I’ve nurtured quiet island kingdoms, so inadequate in comparison to my neighbours that they have felt the need to grind the bones of my children to dust. I’ve loved almost every minute of it. Now, with Crusader Kings II on its way, is it time to move on?

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It’s hard to find the right word to describe the launch of Sword of the Stars 2. Troubled? Early? Turnippy? Kerberos CEO Martin Cirulis says the game will advance from “a turnip to a jewel”, which does unfortunately involve calling it a “turnip” in its current state. Both Kerberos and Paradox have released statements apologising for the state of the game, with the developers going into more detail about their hopes for the future. The original built up a strong fanbase in large part because Kerberos improved it over time, but with the sequel initial reports of an accidentally released beta and then an update with serious problems of its own have caused, let us say, a furore.

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Paradox are currently running a closed beta for Crusader Kings II, their medieval dynasty-builder, but if you’re not blue-blooded you probably didn’t get an invite. The next best thing to the beta is this not-live recording of yesterday’s live demonstration with executive producer Johann Andersson. It’s a proper play session rather than a glossily edited together showcase, which makes it more instructive, particularly as Johann fields some decent questions from the internet audience. It’s split into five parts, in the first of which nothing occurs for ten minutes and fourteen seconds. So, skip forward probably.

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Quickly! Kerberos’ gargantually betitled 4X sci-fi strategy sequel, Sword of the Stars II: The Lords of Winter, is due out at the end of this very month and Paradox are now accepting applicants for the closed beta. You’ll need to go here to register your interest, providing intimate details of your life, such as how many hours a day you can spend directing squadrons of swords through the aether. Applications close on October 12th and the lucky few should discover if they made the cut by the 13th. I never found the time to play the original very much but I’m quite the fan of conquering space so perhaps I shall become acquainted with these Lords of Winter.