Posts Tagged ‘Paradox’

Wot I Think: Impire

By Alec Meer on February 19th, 2013.

Impire is a strategy-management game about building an evil underground lair, from Blood Bowl and Game of Thrones devs Cyanide.

If I was mad, I would write this entire piece without once referencing Dungeon Keeper. I am not mad.
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Richard Rising: War Of The Roses Free Trial

By Adam Smith on February 7th, 2013.

That whole deal with Richard III’s bones hiding under a carpark? A publicity stunt, I reckon. The perpetrators? Paradox. While the people of York are creating petitions to have the skellington buried in their fair county, multiplayer sword ‘em up War of the Roses has unleashed its free trial, which you can download now by selecting the demo option on its Steam page. The trial doesn’t segregate players into separate games, but there is a limit on classes and equipment. Any ‘coin’ earned in the trial will carry across to the full version if purchased. Mark my words, we’ll know when the release date for The Old Gods DLC is due because someone will find Harthacnut’s preserved face on the shelf of an Aldi, next to the baked beans.

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War Of The Roses Getting Free Version, Brian Blessed

By Nathan Grayson on February 2nd, 2013.

Kingmaker. Not to be confused with the new hit reality show, King Makeover. It's actually quite heartfelt, if you'll believe it.

War. War never changes.

OK, actually, no. Now look here, ominous Fallout guy: I know what you’re trying to say, but I don’t think you’re accounting for any sort of subtlety or nuance. Sure, we’re still talking about people killing each other, and that’s a nice, grim sentiment, but small changes make ripples in the blood-soaked killing fields too. I’m talking, of course, about thunder-voiced narrators. Case in point: Brian Blessed‘s involvement with Paradox’s War of the Roses. As part of an upcoming DLC pack, these things will happen: “Blessed’s booming voice will inspire knights by announcing in-game events and warnings, giving new meaning to the iconic command to ‘Kill the enemy!’” That’ll cost money. But a stripped down version of the game? That, my friends, is completely free.

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Toy Boat, Toi Boit – Paradox Debuts Leviathan: Warships

By Nathan Grayson on February 1st, 2013.

LEVIATHAN. The word is physically bigger than the so-called Leviathans in this picture. Hmmm.

You know, for all their Poseidon-defying majesty, there aren’t actually that many games about boats. I mean, sure, there are some sims, and World of Warships is on the way at some point, but the most recent high profile bout of virtual Boat-Fu that springs to my mind is, um, Assassin’s Creed III. And those parts were super great! The rest? Not so much. But still, we need more boat games. That is my decree. And Paradox, ever the opportunistic purveyor of digital delights, has decided to heed my call. With itsy bitsy baby toy boats. They’re BIG baby boats, though. Somehow. I mean, the name Leviathan: Warships doesn’t really conjure up images of rubber duckies and bubble wand adventures, now does it? But then, it also doesn’t really make me think of turn-based strategy, even though that’s exactly what it is.

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You Must Be This Existent To Ride The Dungeonland

By Nathan Grayson on January 30th, 2013.

I have never been more arou-- I mean frightened by a cow.

Are you real? For clarity’s sake, I’m talking complete authenticity, here. Flesh, blood, bones, an un-cleavable tether to this plane of existence – all the necessary basics. If someone’s gone back in time and successfully executed you, present you is still eligible so long as you’re not disappearing hands-first. OK, do we have everything all squared away? Good, good. Then welcome to Dungeonland. Whereas before it was only open to a select few, its whimsical bounties are now yours for the taking so long as you exist. Have a (fairly amusing) peek at what you’re in for after the break.

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Simulated City: Cities In Motion 2 In Motion, Too

By Alec Meer on January 28th, 2013.

No official screenies = YouTube capture = everyone feels a bit let down

The law of YouTube game trailer comments: amidst all the poison, the inexplicable arguments about race and the depressing evidence that learning the three simple rules of apostrophe usage really is beyond most of the English-speaking world, there will be one person claiming that witnessing footage of this videogame caused him to ejaculate there and then. Step forward excited Cities In Motion 2 fan Drag0nfoxx, whose reaction to a sixty-second video of an urban-planning videogame was for his penis to fill with blood and his brain to send a signal to his testicles ordering that it was time to express semen and thus bring about reproduction. Biology is a beautiful thing. “I think I just came in my pants”, quoth he, this rare poet of our electronic times.

I think I just watched some footage of Cities In Motion 2, and then thought it looked both very pretty and slightly stark. But maybe I just have a low sex drive.
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Scots, Free: War Of The Roses Gets Huge Update

By Nathan Grayson on January 24th, 2013.

I’ll admit that I haven’t been back to War of the Roses since shortly after it launched, but maybe now’s finally the time for me to de-rust my steed and feed my armor some of the good carrots. Or wait, no, the other way. Feed my carrots some armor. There we go. Anyway, Paradox’s medieval melee’s seen yet another free content drop – this time taking the form of armor and weaponry forged in the image of the Scottish Gallowglass mercenaries. Apparently, they “brought brute force and fighting spirit to the battlefields like none could,” so probably get ready to smash first and ask only the most necessary of questions. But, even though the update’s named after them, the mercenaryfolk aren’t the main event of today’s update. Rather, it’s complete reworks of core systems – for instance, armor, weapon speed and power, and movement – that stand to make the Middle Ages feel young again.

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Commercial Strategies: Paradox Open New Web Store

By Adam Smith on January 21st, 2013.

This chap delivers all Paradox press releases to my royal chambers by hand. His name is Skegbury Twix.

A double-blast sounded from the Paradox news-horn this afternoon. The first tone was very much the sound of the company blowing its own trumpet and with good reason, as there are now over half a million subscribers to the Paradox forums. The second trembling note heralded the arrival of a new Paradox webstore, with discounts of 55% on several titles to celebrate the launch. It’s not the most navigable of stores as I write this That’s better – there’s a proper storefront now. Among other discounts, Crusader Kings II is £13.50 at the moment.

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Only Two Months To Retirement: The Showdown Effect

By John Walker on January 18th, 2013.

Paradox’s The Showdown Effect now has its own website. Why it hasn’t had its own website since its announcement in March last year is perhaps a pertinent question. But with the side-scrolling cop movie-spoofing/celebrating multiplayer due out on the 5th March, it’s about time it did. And as you might imagine on such an occasion, there’s a new trailer too.

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Cartoludography: Crusader Kings II Republic Gets A Trailer

By John Walker on January 17th, 2013.

Cripes, they'll kill everyone!

If you listen carefully you’ll be able to hear Adam, all the way hidden in darkest Manchester, mumbling to himself about how much he likes Crusader Kings II. Listen now… [mumble mumble awrite ourkid i love crusader kings ii mad for it mumble mumble]. Did you hear it! He’ll be uncontrollable with glee to learn there’s a new trailer for the Republic expansion, as well as two other smaller expansions out now.

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Step Right Up: Dungeonland Out This Month

By Nathan Grayson on January 9th, 2013.

I like that the street lamps are wearing little hats.

I got a chance to go hands-on with Paradox’s Dungeonland some many firework-and-goblin-giblet-obscured moons ago, and I actually had quite a time with it. That said, I don’t think it’s made its way onto many radars, and that’s a shame. No, it didn’t strike me as particularly earth-shaking, but playing as the dungeon master (or maestro, as he’s now being called) against a hapless group of friends could at least rattle a mid-sized landmass or two, I think. So yes, you should keep an eye on it. Here, I will even help you – free of charge and everything. After the break, you’ll find a trailer. Now, I’m not saying it’s necessarily a magic mountain of Dungeonland footage, but when I note that it would make almost zero sense for it to be anything else, I might be implying it a little.

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Cartoon Carnage: Showdown Effect Shows Off Its Cast

By Nathan Grayson on January 8th, 2013.

I think that might have been a person once.

I do so love games that are unabashedly cheeky. I know, I know: that’s pretty much like scaling my way to the highest mountain tops and proclaiming my love for breathing and blinking to the calloused undersides of god’s feet, but apparently, some people only play games through gritted teeth and furrowed brows. I think those people are silly, though, and I won’t be inviting them to my games of Magicka developer Arrowhead’s The Showdown Effect because a) they’d hate it and b) I’m very petty. Boasting grin-inducing gems like “Fight to the death, or die trying,” the sidescrolling multiplayer mash-’em-up lampoons just about everything – including itself. Watch its creators have a laugh at their own characters after the break.

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The Flare Path: Achtung, Panzer Poachers!

By Tim Stone on December 28th, 2012.

The walls of the FP office are plastered with pictures of iconic war machines. When I yaw left I see the elegant elliptical wings of a Supermarine Spitball, the slab prow of a Panzerkampfwagen VI Tiepin, the yawning bomb-bay of an Avro Lankystreakofpiss. When I yaw right I see swarms of side-slipping Sopwith Camelots, HMS Hoodie steaming at full speed towards the Denholmelliot Strait, a sharkmouthed McDonnell Dougal F-4 Phantompregnancy splashing napalm onto a bunker-riddled Vietnamese hellside. Read the rest of this entry »

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