Posts Tagged ‘rockstar’

Grand Theft Auto Online Plays Thanksgiving Handegg

29! 42! 38! 87! 69! Hut! Hut! Hike! And that’s how the Pilgrims came in 1492 to the land we now know as the United States of A. One genocidal colonisation later, Thanksgiving in November is now a happy time for families to come together to eat pumpkins carved into the shape of turkeys, bicker, argue, threaten to call the police for real this year, and shout “29! 42! 38! 87! 69! Hut! Hut! Hike!” while shoving each other, just as the Pilgrims did all those years ago. This I have learned from watching American sitcoms.

This year, you can even hop into Grand Theft Auto Online [official site] to do pushing in a new American Foosbalt-inspired mode. Numbers not included.

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This Grand Theft Auto V Hulk Mod Looks Incredible

“We all have these reservoirs of anger: how do we deal with them? Deny them, so that they flare up? Or do we incorporate them into our being in an even fashion so that they are present and not prominent?” asked Joss Whedon, the director of Marvel’s The Avengers, when explaining how they wrote The Incredible Hulk’s personality in the 2012 film. The answer? Well, aye, all of that, probably. But also smashing up Los Santos, ripping lamp posts from the ground, and tossing cars hundreds of feet into the air. That feels pretty good, too.

This Incredible Hulk script mod for Grand Theft Auto V [official site] is the best.

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Now Rolling: Grand Theft Auto Online’s Lowriders Update

Lowriders are something to do with Marmite, as I understand it, so I’m delighted that Rockstar have dedicated an entire Grand Theft Auto Online [official site] update to this sterling British toast topping. Launched today, the Lowriders update adds loads of new ways to customise cars, which I assume include making them look like Marmite jars. You’ll also find a fourth purchasable property, new clothes, hairstyles, and accessories, extra missions, and other jazz.

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Have You Played… Grand Theft Auto: Vice City?

Have You Played? is an endless stream of game recommendations. One a day, every day of the year, perhaps for all time.

I wouldn’t call Grand Theft Auto: Vice City [official site] the best GTA game, but I might say it’s my favourite. Between the eerie deadness of GTA 3 and the sprawl of San Andreas sat a tidy little game about ’80s Miami bathed in neon and dusted with cocaine. It was a crude sketch of future plans for the series, done on the back of a copy of Scarface‘s script, but its roughness left gaps that the atmosphere nicely filled.

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GTA Online Livens Up Open World With Freemode Events

Before Grand Theft Auto V [official site] came out, I imagined I’d vanish into GTA Online for a few months for freeform sandbox shenanigans with a load of other folks. Turned out, the online side’s open world itself was pretty dead (aside from folks with superguns kindly supermurdering me until I turned on Passive Mode) and the action involved lots of boring lobbies and waiting and loading. It was not the dynamic world I’d hoped for. Well, I’ll be dropping back in tonight, now that Rockstar have livened things up.

An update today brings Freemode Events, activities that just happen in the world, from arena brawls to… becoming a werewolf? Interesting! Have a look:

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Rockstar Investigating Grand Theft Auto V FPS Loss

Grand Theft Auto V‘s [official site] patch 1.28 brought new vehicles, weapons, and clothes to the open-world murder simulator as the second part of its Ill-Gotten Gains update, but it seems a few undesireable elements may have tagged along too. Rumblings and grumbling are going round about the game running slower since the update, and Rockstar are looking into it.

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Grand Theft Auto V’s Shiny New Ill-Gotten Gains

I want that bike. Not that jacket though. This recent trendy of 'high-end' biker jackets with gold detailing and quilting in weird places is so gross. They look awful.

Swanky new clothes, cars, boats, guns, and other ostentatious displays of wealth and violence are now up for grabs in Los Santos, as Rockstar today released the second part of the free ‘Ill-Gotten Gains’ update for Grand Theft V [official site]. The first half arrived in June with some deeply tacky clothes and ghastly golden vehicles. I swear, money’s wasted on the rich – no taste at all.

This second half, however, does have some pretty nice stuff. The new motorbike in particular is flipping gorgeous, cor, just take a look at that up there!

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Grand Theft Auto Online Tacky Expensive Junk Next Week

Travis Touchdown, is that you?

I have few desires in life. I’m content as long as I have a swimsuit, somewhere cold to swim, a cool leather jacket, and a sweet neck tattoo. I earned enough to fulfil my every dream in Grand Theft Auto Online [official site] within a couple of hours. Perhaps you want more. Perhaps it’s never enough. Perhaps you want everyone to see how much money you have, and how little taste.

In that case: good news! Rockstar have two releases of expensive cars, guns, and other tacky garbage coming to GTA Online, starting next week. Hideous gold helicopter, anyone?

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Sunken City: Grand Theft Auto V Tsunami Mod

When the PC port of GTA V [official site] was announced last year, I hoped we’d see a version of the console mod (yes, really) which flooded the world. This has arrived. Or they have. Several different mods are now draining and flooding San Andreas, letting you walk amongst dry corals or diving down to sunken streets. The absurdity and wonder of it all is quite something. Come see.

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No More Grand Theft Auto Online Heists Any Time Soon

Imagine if criminals became bored of crimes. No more robbery, no more murder, no more rob-o-murders, and a load of former perps playing tennis and swimming in mountain pools together. Oh, what a world! But for players of GTA Online [official site], becoming bored of crimes sounds awful.

Dearest friends and sweetest murderers, cherish your crimes. Don’t treat them as chores to rush through. Relish the time they allow you to spend with friends, high on adrenaline. You see, it sounds like it’ll be a while before any more Heists arrive. Other multicrime bits are coming, though.

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